Wuthering Dormice (aka Bike) Part 766 by Angharad

I awoke aware that something was trying to insert itself between Simon and myself. Part of me felt irritated – I was tired. Last night had been emotionally tiring for both of us as well as rewarding. Now, all I wanted to do was sleep – but only for about a week. I tried to ignore the aliens – it was those ones who speak in a giggle language, who also have very cold feet which they shove in inconvenient places.

For a while it went quiet, then Messrs Humphrys and Naughtie* got going and suddenly I had to survive in the real world again. Next time they are giving children away, I won’t go for the buy one get one free offer – it’s too much hard work.

I came to and decided it was probably easier to leave the aliens pestering their pa, while I went and sorted out breakfast, than it was to stay there and get poked and tickled. I sloped off to the shower, maybe I’d get a few minutes peace and quiet there.

I was washing my hair, so had my eyes shut when the door opened and someone obviously entered, I felt the coolness of the draught. “Who’s that?” I asked rinsing the shampoo out of my hair.

“Mummy, can I shower with you?”

“Yes, Trish – tell me if the water’s too hot.” I felt her little body stand alongside mine and I reached for a flannel to wipe my face. “Hello, sweetie-pie.” I said and rubbed some shampoo into her hair. It was getting quite long, I’d have to ask Stella to tidy it up for her. I should really ask her to do mine as well.

“I missed you, Mummy,” she said hanging on to my waist as I washed the soap out of her tresses. Then I conditioned us both and a minute or two later rinsed that out as well.

We have a rule that we only touch the girls below the waist if there is a need, otherwise, I soap up a cloth and they wash themselves. Trish was doing this now – she was so girlish and yet her little winky dangled there contrary to what was otherwise so manifest. I needed to take her to see her shrink again soon, I’d have to check that date when I went downstairs.

We towelled off and dressed. The others had gone back to sleep, so it was just Trish and me, along with Tom, who had breakfast. It was only half past seven when we’d finished, and I dug Livvie out of the bed and after processing her in the shower, got her dried and dressed.

“Do we have to go to school, Mummy?” she asked in a whiney sort of voice which was unusual for her.

“Yes, you know you do, you’ve already missed a couple or more days, so be thankful for small mercies.”

“Where’s Trish?” she asked suddenly realising that her sister wasn’t with her.

“Finishing her breakfast with Grampa Tom.”

She yawned as I brushed her air and dried it, before putting it into a ponytail. She had lovely hair, thick and strong. My own was quite good, but Livvie’s was something else, better than Trish’s and even hers was pretty thick. Then there was Mima, hers was dark as coal and grew like weeds.

As far as I knew, Mima and Simon were still in bed when I took the girls to school. It made me feel very sad when they trotted off clutching their lunch boxes. However, I had loads to do, so I didn’t linger with my emotions and instead drove straight back home and got stuck into the housework.

Simon and Meems deigned to visit with us a short time after Stella and Puddin’ came down, which was a few minutes after I’d started the vacuum cleaner. It was half past nine, if Tom could get off his sick bed before then, surely the others could, too.

Simon was very quiet, almost subdued in his manner. He was still courteous and polite as usual, but even Stella avoided her usual barbs with him. He clearly had something on his mind. I left him to think about it and went back to vacuuming everything that wasn’t screwed down. An hour later, I’d visited every room, and was busy stripping beds according to my usual rota. This was followed by loading the washing machine and starting to think if we needed bread – we did, so I filled the machine and set it going.

“Stel, can you have a look at the girls’ hair when they come back from school?”

“What, a tidy up?”

“If you could?”

“Yeah, no problemo.” She grabbed Meems and marched her off to the kitchen, a quarter of an hour later, she came back trimmed – not much, but I could see how much tidier it looked. I thanked her and made some tea.

Simon went up to shower and reluctantly took Meems up with him. He was a little unsure about showering with a little girl with him. In the end I sent him off to shower and I did her when he’d finished. I dried her and her hair; Stella had given it a lovely shape. She was actually a very good cutter of hair.

Meems went off to play with her Grampa, so I was able to get Simon to one side. “Are you going to tell me what’s wrong or have I got to play guessing games?”

“You know what’s wrong. I betrayed you last night.”

“Simon, sometimes I feel as if I’m in a parallel universe to the one you’re inhabiting.”

“What d’you mean?”

“We discussed it last night and I thought we’d resolved it.”

“You did, I still feel guilty.”

“Why, for God’s sake?”

“I don’t actually know. Maybe it’s something to do with seeing Monica years ago.”

“I have to take Trish to Dr Henshell next week, maybe I should make an appointment for you as well.”

“Very funny.”

“Maybe you need to talk it through with someone, sounds like unfinished business to me. What about your natural mother? You never speak of her.”

“She’s dead, about four years ago. She and Dad split up about fifteen years ago – they were both having affairs – like Monica and he do now.”

“I’ve never understood that – sexual profligacy.”

“It seems innate in some people, like other are eaters or drinkers.”

“Perhaps it just seems so alien to my world, I mean, I don’t think my parents had sex with anyone other than each other. In fact, I’m pretty sure of it.”

“Yeah well, once they had Stella and me, they had sex with anyone but each other. Takes all sorts I suppose.”

“I’m trying not to judge anyone, Simon, but it’s very difficult when it’s so alien to one’s own values.”

“My grandfather was the same – randy old bastard. They reckoned half of the villages around the estate are his descendants.”

I winced and he laughed. “It’s good to see and hear you laugh,” I smiled at him and kissed him. “Can we put last night to one side, you agonising over it is making me feel really confused.”

“Confused? I thought that was my position.”

“No – oh, I don’t know, maybe I’m picking up your confusion and it’s affecting my own ambivalences. All I know is that I love you and I want us to work as a relationship.”

“For the girls’ sake?”

“Mainly for our sakes, Si, the girls are a bonus in this life. We were together before they came to us and although we have to take the responsibility they bring, very seriously, I like to think we’re together because we – um – love each other and also like each other.”

“Yeah, we do love each other, and we are a good team, as well as being good for the girls, for our girls. Yeah, sod it let’s stop looking at our faults and count our blessings – eh, girl?”

“That sounds more like my Simon, trying to market optimism.”

“Absolutely,” he said then drew me to him and kissed me.

*Presenters of Radio 4’s Today programme