Locked in
Author’s note: this one of those stories that seriously mutated as I was writing it. It went from a bleak horror story to something else entirely. I look forward to hearing what you guys think ....
“So, tell me about this dream.”
“Well, it starts with me getting into a cab, and this attractive woman asks to share the ride. I say yes, and we go, but then she blows some kind of smoke in my face and everything spins. Then I find myself lying in a bed, I’m naked, and I can't move.”
“You are restrained?”
“No, it's more like I’m paralyzed, but I can feel everything”
“All right, carry on.”
“So the woman from the cab ride is there, and she starts ... the only way I can put it is she starts feminizing me. She removes my body hair, gives me fake breasts, and then starts dressing me. Panties, bra, stockings, a dress, even high heels. Then she puts makeup and a wig on me.”
“Go on.”
Then she somehow tilts the bed so I can see this full length mirror, and I can see myself.”
“And what are you feeling while looking in the mirror?”
“Well, I’m more upset that I can't move than the fact I look like a girl.”
“All right, let’s focus on that. Have you ever dressed like a girl in real life?”
“Honestly I’m not sure. I think I have, but my memory of my childhood is full of blank spaces.”
“Blank spaces? What do you mean?”
“I don't remember a lot of events. But I remember emotions. Mostly fear and guilt, but why I was afraid and guilty I can’t remember.”
“Hmm ... Well, I believe that this dream seems to represent a desire on your part to explore the feminine side of yourself. But to do so would trigger the sense of fear and guilt you mentioned. By having your transformation caused by someone else, without your consent or assistance, you avoid any guilt, since you can justify yourself and say it wasn’t your idea”
“But, if you’re right, what can I do?”
“I will print out a list of resources for you, but the one I recommend the most is a website called Big Closet. Not only does it have a great number of stories about people in your situation, but the people there are exceptionally kind and supportive if you were to ask for advice.”
“Thanks doc, I feel better already”
End.
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Comments
I think that Dr. deserves a nice kickback from BCTS
Maybe in the form of referrals...
Nice how you were able to slip in the oft-discussed topic of forced fem as a way of being able to experience girldom without guilt. Oddly it's not just trans-people who experience something like this. I knew a cisgender straight guy who was raised strict Catholic who told me one of his earliest fantasies was of gangsters breaking in on him and the object of his first crush Charlene Lumbowski and making them have sex at gunpoint... Hooray for sin-free sin!
But even better when we find our way free of poisonous guilt over things that are our birthright (although I'm not saying Charlene Lumbowski was his by right... you know what I'm saying!). I like this one, and I think it's better like this than as a horror story.
~hugs, Veronica
What borders on pure insanity?
Canada and Mexico.
.
thanks, hon
guilt can be a good thing, or a bad thing. thanks for commenting, and hugs!
ok...
and ...where is rest of story?
no more for now
with my wild muse, who can tell what she may bring me in the future
well
i just wanna know is the char still dressed as a woman?
Is this a repression story?
it seems like he's repressed something
only time will tell what he does next
"And stop pointing that beard at me. . .
. . .it might go off."
- Groucho
Jill
Angela Rasch (Jill M I)
giggles
you can always count on Groucho
Some of us don't have the
Some of us don't have the courage to do what we really want and I like that the dreams here are an outlet for it, but even there the MC had to be forced before s/he could realize that it was a part of themselves that should be explored. Usually I hate forced femme because forcing someone to present as the gender they're not is no better that what we go through every day when people misgender us or abuse us because we don't fit into their binary concept of gender. It's nice to see the genre used as a means of exploration instead of exploitation.
*big hugs*
Amethyst
Don't take me too seriously. I'm just kitten around. :3
exploration vs exploitation
yeah, it makes a big difference. hugs !
I was waiting for
the other shoe to drop.
nope, no shoe dropping this time
hope you liked it anyway, hugs!
Aww, sweet ... and "sweet on" BC ... :)
Sometimes the very best people in our lives are the ones who "force"/push/cajole us into who/what/where we should be; the places where we can't quite 'get over our hump', whatever that hump is, on our own. In your story, that person is the "Taxi Lady", and the follow-up person is the therapist.
Had a shrink who pretty much had that role, and 'chicken' me, I'd say, "OK, I'll start and see what happens" ... rather than "I'll do it". Sigh.
---
I'm happy to see another Dorothy story :)
===
I took a rock-climbing course, and one instructor was brilliant. From the ground, she could talk us past about 3 'stuck' points. So we came down from fatigue, instead of from being "stuck". The heck with the climbing lessons, I still want to learn how she got us un-stuck.
it always helps to have a support system
this place was and is mine, and without the sometimes not so gentle nudges I got here I might never have gotten the courage to transition. Thanks so much for commenting, have a huggle, on the house!
Very sweet.
Very sweet.
Hugs!
Rosemary
thanks hon!
huggles!