Guess what?
Author’s note: Randalynn’s story “Surprise!” had a big impact on me, big enough for me to want to make my own in response: For those who wish to read hers first, here is a link:
http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/node/1939
Doug:
Guess what?
I’m not dead, after all.
It was a near thing, apparently. But my parents and the twerp came home before I had bled out in the tub, and I woke up in the hospital, instead of heaven or whatever. Its taking me almost a week to convince the docs to let me have a pen, and I’m really lucky I can use my hands after what I did, according to the them too, so I’m sorry I’ve left you hanging. I hope that you haven't been panicking about me for too long. I don’t know what’s going to happen to me now, but I’ll do my best to keep in touch.
Your bud,
Don.
******
Doug,
I’m in therapy. Not surprising, considering what happened, but a little different than what I thought it would be. My only idea of what went on at this kind of place came out of the movie “One flew over the cuckcoo’s nest.” But its a lot better than that, trust me. The lady I’m seeing seems to actually listen, and care, and God, how I’ve needed that the last while. Maybe there’s hope after all.
Your bud,
Don.
*****
Doug;
My stitches came out today. Well, most of em, anyway. I’m going to have some wicked scars there for the rest of my life, but I can live with that, you know? One of the nurses suggested I get a tattoo or something if I wanted to cover them up, once I get out of here. And now that seems to be something that will happen soon. I don’t know yet where I’ll go, but thanks to what the shrink has been doing with me, I feel a lot closer to being able to face that, when it happens.
Your bud,
Don.
*****
Doug:
I guess I underestimated whether people would help me. I was supposed to t get out of the hospital today, but I declined. I told them what my parents did to me, drugging me, dressing me up like a big baby girl, and leaving me on the lawn to be seen by the neighborhood. I don’t know if they believed me, but the rape I experienced last week showed up during an exam they performed when they brought me in. I got interviewed by a lady from the police about the rape, and another from family services about what my parents did. They both seemed to take me seriously, and between them and the shrink, I don’t feel as hopeless and alone as I did before. I’ll write again soon, I promise.
Your bud,
Don.
******
Doug:
The twerp came by today. He was dressed all girly, as usual, and his girlfriend was with him. As soon as he came in, I said to him, “I want you to listen to me, just once. I’ve had a lot of chances to think about things, and I’ve had some help in seeing things differently, and I realize now I owe you an apology. I’m sorry I called you names, and I’m especially sorry I tripped you going down the stairs.” I paused, and he started to speak, but I cut him off. “I was stupid, and I was wrong, and I’m sorry.” I took a deep breath, and then continued, “Now that’s taken care of, you can go away, since you really don’t care about anything else. “
“I care.” he said.
“I doubt that.” I said, and turned away from him. The room got silent, and finally, he said, “Don ...I...”
“Save it.” I said, cutting him off. “You have no idea what I went through. None. And you really dont want to know, either. It would spoil your little fantasy where I’m the bad guy, and the bunch of you just gave me my just deserts. Well, I didn’t deserve to be raped.”
“I know you didn’t. We never planned for that to happen.”
“Maybe not, but by putting me in that position, you put a target on my back, and someone took the shot, so you’re as much to blame as they are.” I turned back to him, and looked him in the eye. “ Would you like me to describe what they did to me? “
He turned white, and shook his head, and then I turned away from him again, and said “So just go away, and don’t come back.”
After a while, i heard his footsteps go away, and I turned back to see his girlfriend still there.
“You can get out too, before I call for security and have you escorted out.”
“Fine.” she said, and walked away.
After they were gone, I told a nurse to not let them in again.
It felt kinda good to get that out of my system
Your bud,
Don
*****
Doug,
Mom and Dad split up. The nurse just brought a letter Dad dropped off. In it he apologised for the whole mess, and said he was turning himself in to the authorities. Apparently, the breaking point happened a couple of days ago, when Mom and Dad were arguing about what to do about the investigation into what happened to me. Dad suggested telling the truth and taking their lumps, but Mom actually suggested telling the child welfare people I liked to dress up as a big baby all the time, and that they just indulged me, like they’re doing with the twerp and wearing girl clothes. In the note, Dad said he finally saw her lack of compassion for what I’ve been through, and he couldn’t stand it. So I guess by now he’s confessing the truth right now. I find myself torn. On the one hand, I’m glad he came around, but on the other, it almost feels too little, too late. One more thing to discuss with the shrink tomorrow, I guess.
Your bud,
Don
*****
Doug,
They caught the bastards who raped me. The policewoman who took my statement came to let me know. I guess they were bragging about what they did while drunk and finally someone realized they were talking about the rape of a human being, and called the cops. Once they were in custody, a search of their place found all the stuff they’d used on me. I guess they’d kept the stuff, in case they caught up with me again. The policewoman said a conviction seemed like a slam dunk. That would be cool.
Your bud,
Don
*****
Don,
They arrested Mom, and I’m actually conflicted about what to feel about that. Part of me wants to say “Good, I hope they throw the book at the bitch.” But the other part remembers a Mom who raised me, and I want that Mom back more than life. I find I miss her, and I even miss the twerp. More work for the shrink, I guess.
Your bud,
Don
****
Doug,
Becky from school came by. She apologised for not coming sooner, but I guess the docs have been careful who gets to see me. She asked me if I had a place to go after I get released, and I said with Mom and Dad in jail, I dont have anywhere to go. She said she would talk to her folks about putting me up, if I wanted to come. The shrink seems to think a short visit would be okay, to see if I could feel safe there. I’m a little nervous, but it has to be better than being alone. I think I’ll give it a shot.
Your bud,
Don
******
Doug,
I just got back from Becky’s parent’s place. They seemed nice, and they’ve been following the whole thing. In a town this small, two cases like this are big news, so I’m not surprised. I am surprised how sympathetic to me they seem. They showed me where I would stay, if I wanted to come there. It’s a nice little suite they had built for a renter, so its got everything I’d need, and even a lock on the door if I want privacy.
I’d only have to join the rest of them when I wanted, which would be a good thing. I’m still a little skittish, so the ability to have a sanctuary when I needed one is something I really need. But its a good sign that they thought of this, it gives me some hope. If the doc says I can, I’ll try an overnight visit.
Your bud,
Don.
******
Doug,
I’m going to stay with Becky’s folks. During my first overnight visit, i woke to Becky pounding on my door, and when I let her in, she told me I must have been having a nightmare. She said, I’d been shouting. She said she hadn't realized how much what I’d been must have taken out of me, and she made me come up to the family room for breakfast. Her family made me breakfast, and for the first time in a long time, I felt really safe. The shrink has signed off on me staying with them, and its a good step forward, according to her. She says I need to be able to trust people again, so a bond with Becky’s folks is a very good sign. I think I’m going to need all the support I can get, since I have two trials to deal with soon.
Your bud,
Don.
*****
Doug,
Both trials are over, and I’m glad. First, my rapists were found guilty, and thanks to being stupid enough not to plead it out, they got the maximum sentence. My Mom and Dad both plead guilty, and while Mom will get a short jail sentence, Dad’s is suspended because he cooperated with the authorities. Becky’s folks wondered if I would go stay with Dad, but I’m not ready for that yet. Besides, I like where I am. I feel safe, and Becky has been wonderful.
Your bud,
Don.
*****
Doug,
I spent some time with Dad today. With the support of Becky’s folks, I called him to come over to their place, and we had a long talk. Thanks to some of the work I’ve done with the shrink, I feel ready to forgive him, and move on with my life. I’m glad we could make up, but I’m staying with Becky’s folks until I turn eighteen, if they’ll have me.
Your bud,
Don.
******
Doug,
I went back to school today. Becky had been tutoring me, getting me back on track. The shrink thought it might be a good idea for me to at least try going to school, one more way to get me back into the real world, I guess. It went better than I could have hoped. The trials had been big news, and I guess the stuff that came out made people look at things a little differently. Even the guys who had left baby clothes in my gym locker apologised. I actually have friends again, and darn, it feels good.
Your bud,
Don.
******
Doug,
I saw Mom today. I guess it finally hit her how stupid she’d behaved. Plus, they found out she was suffering from high blood pressure, and it was making her just about crazy. Not that’s an excuse, but maybe she really wasn't thinking straight, and that puts a different spin on things. Maybe, I can forgive her. I find myself hoping I can.
Your bud,
Don.
*****
Doug,
I saw my … sibling today. I still dont know if I understand what he’s doing, but he seems happy dressed as a girl, and he gets a lot less trouble for it than I thought possible. We both have reasons to be wary of each other, I guess, and we’ll never be buds again, but I think we buried the hatchet today. The shrink thinks this is a good step.
Your bud,
Don.
*******
Doug,
Becky and I are officially dating. We’d been going out for a long time before I realized we were going out, if that makes sense to you. I never had a steady girlfriend before, and I’m enjoying it a lot, as you can imagine. We have even made plans to go to Prom together. Life is pretty good.
Your bud,
Don.
****
Doug,
Guess what?
Becky said yes, and we’ll get married next year. I’m really hoping you can swing the ability to come. Its hard to believe how fast things turned around for me, really. It really wasn't all that long ago I thought I had nothing. No friends, no family, no future. Now, the only reminder of those bad days are the scars on my wrists. Just think, I could have missed all of this if I had succeeded in killing myself that day. I’ve talked to the shrink about maybe sharing my story sometime with some of her patients, so maybe they can see life can get better, if you hang around long enough. Be kinda nice to give back, you know?
Your bud,
Don
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Comments
Oh my head hurts
I just read all 3 stories. Randalynn's and then yours and then to be fair Jezzi Belle Stewart's SISSY BABY DONNA, which was surprisingly short considering all that it started. I think what did my brain in was the comment stream after Randa's tale, one contrarian junior nihilist insisting it was a comedy. WTF?!!
SURPRISE showed exactly how traumatic the family's little stunt could have been, and it was about as comical as cancer. It's a common theme of Randalynn's, her abhorrence of recreational sadism and rights violations, her showing the tragic ramifications, whether it's suicide or the victim being twisted into an unstoppable revenge machine. She reminds me of when my mom stood up in the stands at a Ti Juana bullfight my dad had wanted us to see, how after she realized the poor animal was going to be picked and stabbed and bled to death (as opposed to those NICE bullfights where they use fluffy pillows) and verbally took on the whole stadium. If they didn't see the error of their ways and stop---they just laughed at the crazy gringa---it wasn't because she didn't try. Dad was embarrassed at her outburst and I was weirded out by their fighting all the way home, but I've since come to be proud of her futile gesture. I think Randalynn picks her fights somewhat better and fights the good fight smarter...
The nice thing about fiction is we can change the outcome. I loved this one too because you rescued the sacrificial bull; showing how as dark and hopeless as things had gotten for Don, that with a little help from above in surviving his attempt to end his pain and hurt his family back, things were never as bleak as he'd supposed. Your story didn't offer miracles, just small incremental steps toward recovering hope and reclaiming his life. After all that he deserves it. Don't we all?
And let's say there's some that don't deserve it. Jezzi Belle Stewart's short sketch of a story portrayed a different Don, who was pretty much an irreedeemable POS. And maybe that character deserved punishment, humiliation, payback. But I have to wonder what a sequel to that plotline would look like. All I see is him distancing himself from his family + doing all he can to reclaim his macho respectability with his peers at school. Proving himself any time someone laughs with a fist to their mouth. And if he succeeds---according to his worldview as portrayed in that page+1/2---then God help everyone who has to deal with him after that. People for whom respect is synonymous with fear tend to be dangerous. He'd just be eviller & meaner & more violent, probably an abuser in any relationship or family he starts or falls into. Being brutalized just teaches people to be brutal, the cycle continues; and so I prefer stories like SURPRISE and GUESS WHAT that show this, and that point to saner ways to be.
~~hugs, Veronica
What borders on pure insanity?
Canada and Mexico.
.
Good alt-ending to Randa's tale which was inspired by Jezzie's
Though I forget, didn't someone co-write with Jezzie? Or her story was in his style/inspired by his works?
In any case good job.
As a nearly all narrative, all letters/short notes to his friend... Hum no texts/emails? This was properly done as a short story as there are limitations to this mostly one-sided format, IE he is doing most of the *talking*. To make it much longer might have made it a dry read. This was a good length. Within the limitations forced on you by this format you did very well.
I agree with Laika that the pacing, the evolution of the tale gave it a real world feel.
As to high blood pressure causing mental problems... if she had headaches and all that could mess her up, IE sleep deprived, in frequent pain and all. More inclined to believe a brain tumor or mild previously undiagnosed schizophrenia. But its fiction so we can let that *ride*. Plus he's telling a friend what he was told and you know how a message gets garbled that way. There is a an old children's game that uses that premise.
In any case well done.
John in Wauwatosa
P.S. What's the line from that song in The Mikado? About "punishment fit the crime"? Even in Jessie's version he was at worst a bigoted kid and maybe a bully but not a criminal, just a class-A jerk, tops.
In all of these versions of the kids tale the punishment was a hammer being used to swat a fly. Not as bad as the forced SRS or being magically changed and sold into slavery because someone said something insulting and a witch overheard or the mother-in-law was a male-hating surgeon. This case was not that bad but only by degree.
Cruelty is cruelty even couched as *justice* or *payback*. So good this was only fiction.
P.P.S. As to his sharp words to his *sister's girlfriend, wasn't she one of the main people behind his drugging and stranding him in public as a *girly baby*? Her actions helped get him raped so he has little reason to accept her apology. The sister, yes, as he had hurt her so they are *even* in a way. And I don't think the sister was significantly involved. That was mostly this girl, mom and a few others. And later his sweet rapists. They went to prison,. Mom went to jail. Dad is on a suspended sentence. Did the girl ever fess-up and make restitution, pay a fine, spend time in jail or juvenile? She got off *scott free*.
John in Wauwatosa
Thanks, John.
I deal with my ex who has high blood pressure, and until it was diagnosed she would have moments that were absolutely frightening, where she would go from normal to utterly insane at the drop of a hat. And yes his sister's girlfriend was part of him being dressed up. Sadly, I couldn't think of any way to punish her for it - she was a minor, and it was his mom who gave him the drug, so legally, she gets off scott free. Ah, well. I'm glad you liked it.
Dorothycolleen
thanks, veronica
I like your story about your mom. And I'm glad you liked this one.
Dorothycolleen
A friend of mine believes ...
... that sequels blunt the impact of an original story, particularly one in which something tragic and painful occurs that causes everyone to stop for a moment and rethink where they're coming from. I'm not sure whether I agree or disagree, but it's in my nature to try and rescue someone if i think i can, and Dorothy found a way to bring Don back from the brink. So who am I to say no? *grin* The way the original story ended was harsh, and it hurt to write. I'm pretty sure it hurts to read it, too. Folks who know me (and read my work) know I don't like "no win" scenarios, so part of me is happy for Dorothy's rescue. At the same time, I do worry that the underlying message of "sadistic tricks are no way to teach someone the value of peace, love, and understanding" might be weakened.
Oh, what the heck - welcome back to the land of the living, Don. *grin*
Randalynn
thanks, Randalynn
I think the message remains - Don still is going to have the scars for the rest of his life, the rapists got punished, his mom and dad will also have to live with what they were part of. Thanks for letting me do this.
Dorothycolleen
altruistic do-gooder...
...with a hint of desperation. I'm just glad I had the mother I did. I couldn't fathom where I would have ended up without her.