What happens when the lamp you buy isn't the one you intend to buy?

A story inspired by a sketch with the annotation "girly lamp."

A friend of mine wrote this, he normally doesn't write TG stories, but upon reading this I knew it needed to be shared. It is definitely written tongue in cheek and don't let any of the tags turn you away from this story.

http://paddedquill.deviantart.com/

Encrypted-14

Chapter 14

A shiny black hair…

I had the distinct feeling that this was a somebody and not a something when I had seen her. But what does this mean? Was she able to break herself down into pure information?

Oh the implication of that have me there for likely an hour just staring at the thread.

Teleportation?

Like Star-Trek?

But in wide, wide theory this could be plausible. We are all made of energy? Matter breaks down into energy, but can energy become matter? Not that we know of but…

Okay fine here Dorothy. Here is the little story you been bugging me to write all week! Hope your happy!

WARNING this may require tissue.

Part 27

“Most of you already know Jeffrey Sergeyev,” Ms. Turner said in a loud voice. “She will be using the girls' facilities from now on, as I explained Friday. Please be courteous to her.”

“Ignore the bit where she called me ‘she’ and ‘her’,” I said to the girls nearest me.

This is a different tale that sprang up while I was cooking dinner. It is a single short story. This story may hurt you. Reader beware.

Michelle was confused. People kept asking or calling for someone named Mikey. She would sit day after day in the living room playing with her older sister and her barbies or tea.

Sweet Dreams-39 The first cut is the Deepest.

Chapter 39

I’m nervous as heck as April and I go into the hospital. I’m also a little impressed April has pull or maybe her money does as we’re semi ushered into the area for my tests and honestly I never thought that they had places where they took you aside and get you ready.

And not one but two nurses hanging around for stuff. I don’t even get the paper dress thing but patient scrubs?

“I guess it’s different with money right?” I’m not being snitty about it I’m too out of my element for that.

Part 26

“Sir,” I said, trying to stay calm and respectful, “could you please ask Ms. Turner not to refer to me with female pronouns?”

“Well,” he said, “we have to use some pronoun or other. Perhaps one of the English teachers can recommend a good gender-neutral pronoun.”

Absinthe, Opium and Honor…Chapters 30 & 31

Chapter 30...

I wake and resist the urge to stretch it’s been awhile almost three weeks actually it’s not my arm or my bruises but it’s my ribs. I had no idea that bruised ribs would suck this much. I can breathe now, well I could but it doesn’t hurt and twinge me with pain like they did.

X-Why-Me…Chapter 2

Chapter 2

She had fainted and was slowly woken up with her mother shaking her gently. “Emily? Emily wake up you fainted.”

“I did?”

“Yes, you did.”

“I had the worst dream Mom.”

“It wasn’t a dream.” Her mother had this strange almost foreboding finality there in her voice.

“Mom?”

“You eavesdropped on me and the doctor and then you looked what we were talking about on Google.”

“But it’s not true right?”

“We haven’t got the DNA tests back those will take awhile but everything else says yes.”

“But it’s still not true, c’mon!”

Part 25

I should note I didn't really want to post another chapter and may or may not continue this story as I really want to work on my other stories. However my muses seems to have other ideas.