Absinthe, Opium and Honor…Chapters 34 & 35.

Chapter 34

I feel amazing…some people wouldn’t…sore ribs, finger bruises from where Jax has held onto me as he was pumping me so hard…my breasts achy from the same and the bouncing and the sweet feeling lingering of his big black cock inside of me.

I love the feeling of my torn stockings, my garter belts…and just that…no corset, no panties or bra…I slip on my apron smiling and start to cook supper.

I really am enjoying cooking for Jax. Well for the men that I’m with actually. I’m never intending to be in the kitchen all the time, screw that idea but…

But…I want to cook and when I do I want to cook as good as I fuck and I know I’m amazing in bed. I love being amazing in bed. I feel so good about rocking Jax’s world and the way that he’s looking at me now.

I don’t want to be one of those women that think the deserve all the attention that the get. I want to earn the love and respect and yearning .

Other than my ribs and arm I feel amazing.

I just cook the steaks simply, a really hot pan and get a really good sear on them. I like mine just the cooked side of rare. We have really good beef here and it’s a damned shame to cook the hell out of it.

I do Jax’s similarly and the rest is just easy. I’m not reinventing the wheel with potatoes, carrots and green beans…the only thing I do is add a teaspoon of flour to the frying pan and let it brown from the fats off the steaks as I scrape the browned bit off the bottom and add a bit of coffee to that and make what my dad called pan gravy it’s not a lot but just enough to drizzle nicely over the steaks.

I bring the food over and kiss Jax sweetly as I set his plate down and we eat. I’m hungry too and I really enjoy watching him eat and watch me. I’m eating lady like but I’m not really all too dainty about it. Knife and fork, eat with my mouth closed but I eat. Jax eats like a hungry guy but slows as he’s really enjoying it.

“You want anything else?”

“No, my god Jamie this is really great.”

I get up and get us a drink. I get use both a beer. “Thank you, I couldn’t do this anywhere near as good when I first started out here but I’ve been getting tutored in how to cook better.”

“It’s the best steak I’ve ever had.”

“Good, worth the time then. I don’t eat red meats a whole lot but when I have a steak or something I like them to be good ones.”

“So what do you mostly eat.”

“Well seafood is my favorite and given we’re here on the coast it’s really good, chicken from time to time…pretty much anything really I’m not overly fussy.”

“I’ll get some crab on my next visit.”

“That’d be nice.”

“I work on a crabbing boat so it’s pretty easy to come by.”

“Oh, dangerous stuff from what I’ve seen on Discovery.”

“I don’t work on a deep water boat like those, but it’s still got it’s moments.”

“So how’d you get into doing that?”

“Came out here looking for work a year ago and got into it through a friend he money was too good to pass up.”

“You must know the other fishermen too.”

“Some, yeah I get some good deals and even send them home sometimes. My Gran is from Nova Scotia and misses good fish having moved out west to live with dad and I’ll ship some home as a treat.”

“Good…I like a guy with family feelings like that.”

“You’re not close to your family? I haven’t seen any pictures.”

“Just my dad, I don’t like my mother or sister.”

“Oh? Why?”

“Both are the entitled girls that would only like you for your money and in your case maybe that awesome cock but they’d suck your accounts dry before your dick.”

“Uh-huh…Tommy had an ex like that.”

“I hate people like that, male or female they just use people Jax.”

“Tommy said you were different.”

“Thank you, to me deferent’s good.”

“You’re certainly the most unique girl I’ve been with.”

“Thank you, and you’re opening my world.”

I get our plates and dishes.

“Opening your world?”

“I don’t know anyone that’s black, not really and I had a lot of stuff in my head that was wrong. I went to school with black kids but wasn’t really friends with them.”

“Why?”

“I’m an upper middle classed lawyers kid, and we never really were in the same circles.”

“Same circles?”

I wash the dishes and the beer bottles. “I was one of those guys that was into art but like graphic novels and heavy metal and hanging out with some of my stoner friends. The black kids in my school were into rap, hip-hop and sports and acting middle class Wangster.”

“Wangster?”

“I lived in a nice part of town, went to a pretty nice public school so eve the black kids that were there were pretty well off and they went in for the cultural identity stuff…wanna be gangsters…or Wangsters as I called them.”

He nods and smiles as I bring in a big slice of the berry plum pie I made with a bit of whipped cream and a little blue pill on top.

“Oh…” He pops the pill. “This looks great, you made this?”

“Some, I took some short cuts. I’m still really learning how to bake though.”

“Still this looks amazing.”

“Thank you.”

“No, thank you you’re really open and honest Jamie.”

“I don’t like lies or bullshit that’s all.”

“More than that, I like the person you are too…you haven’t treated me like those stereotypes you grew up with.”

“I try not to but you make it easy. You don’t fit the mold for any of those things Jax.”

“Thanks, my dad was very big into us not being what he calls MTV black.”

“It’s a cultural thing but I ca see how a lot of people of color don’t like it.”

“Yeah it’s not just my dad. I’m not a fan of it either not when you look at us as a people. I’d rather look up to people like Nelson Mandela than any rapper.”

“I like the few quotes I’ve seen of him.”

“Yeah, great man there’s a lot of others too. I just can’t get into a lot of the whole general idea that people have about us and the way people embrace it. I mean I’m black, I’m from Saskatchewan, I grew up farming and working in the woods, I hunt both rifle and bow, I played baseball and curling in high school….and so did a lot of my family and the other black families home. I didn’t like those guys at school either that were as dad aid were MTV blacks.”

I sit with my slice of pie, a decent sized one and I smile. “I feel the same way about women. I love women, most of my friends are girls. But I really hate the ones that live the life of I have a vagina and that entitles me to everything I want and to say anything I want no mater how selfish, hurtful or rude.”

“Tommy’s ex. Great looking but she really knew it. And she loved to play games and stuff.”

“Yeah, My Mother and My sister in a nutshell. And it’s getting worse, there just….”

“Like the Wangers…fake people too shallow or scared to have anything like self worth…no honor.”

“Yeah…I like who I am, want to be someone that has some honor and shares that feeling with others.”

“You do…Jamie you’ve done things with me no girl I’ve been with has ever doe or said. The sex stuff but even this stuff you’re not afraid to admit and talk about this stuff instead of avoiding the issue. I don’t know how many times race gets in the way of a good thing even if it never gets talked about.”

“I try, and I guess it’s I want to keep trying to be a better person. I want to be a good lover…and that means liking things some people won’t allow themselves to do.”

“Like?”

I get up and take our dishes the make myself an absinthe and Jax another whisky. I come back and sit on him straddling him my apron off and smile. “Like sucking your cock…I love cock, I’m not ashamed of the fact but way too many women are so caught up in the social expectation that they deny it even if they do like it. I think loving it and not being scared to admit it is sexy for a guy…”

“It is…Jamie it…it felt good and not just the sex part but feeling sexy for you as a guy? I’m not even sure how to word it right.”

“No that’s right, there’s a nasty social under current with guys in regards to their bodies…that whole eww thing women and girls are doing gives me the wrong idea too all their lives…people get way too hung up on stupid crap Jax.”

“Yeah but you’re literally the fist girl that I’ve met that’s so honest about his stuff that does these things.”

“Thanks.” I smile and he’s getting hard again since I’ve been massaging his cock as we’ve been talking. No the pill won’t have kicked in yet but he’s young and strong. “Now speaking of that yummy cock of yours.”

I slip off his lap and to my knees and pull out that beautiful ebony shaft and start giving him a long slow deep throating blowjob. It’s never just about the cum either I love all of it and I have no problems smiling around his dick, making sounds of lustful appreciation…I could go into more details again but really I treat he way I love sucking Jax the way most women treat really high end chocolate and it’s not a back metaphor this time it’s just on that level.

I do love the taste tough when he cums and savor it.

I stand and have a drink after his fingers are out of my hair. “I’m going to get cleaned up…how about you just relax on the bed while I do that?”

I lead Jax back to my bedroom and he surprises me nicely by pulling me into a slow dance with the music playing and after three different songs I leave him to nap and recover his strength while I get cleaned up inside and out even taking a soak in the tub.

More lotion, powder a spritz of Opium and new lingerie and freshly and very well lubed I slip back out into my bed and wake him with another blowjob….Yes It’s either the forth or fifth time I’ve had his cock down my mouth and throat but I do love it. And there’s an intoxicating power that comes with sucking cock too. Being in that much control over such a physically powerful guy.

The little blue pill has started working too as Jax recovers quickly and he’s sinking that big long hot thick cock into me. It’s incredible…it always will be as we go from slow lovemaking, to almost tantric holding ourselves back over and over until we had blissful orgasms and ten that hard wild screaming reptile brain sex that gives me those wonderful female like orgasms as I cum and my body seizes in full clench around him and all I can feel is hat hot hard cock inside of me like nothing else could ever feel like.

It’s like I’m reduced to being this addicted cock loving whore. And I love feeling that so free that it’s a revelation…primal, passionate and perfect.

Every time it just cements in my psyche that there really is more than one gender…I’m more female than male, not gay not really but somewhere in between…made to love both genders…open, whole…

It’s two in the morning when we finally stop and we curl up and fall asleep blissed out.

*Chapter 35.…

Morning and Sasha comes early and she was there waking me. “Feel up to getting dressed and going back to our routine?”

“Mmm…yes.”

She makes coffee and Jax is blinking sleep from his eyes and sort of smiles. “Thanks for the coffee.” as she gave him one too. I sip mine getting up. “Stay, sleep we’re going out for a run.” He nods. Sasha looks at me. “Can I?” I nod. “If he’s good with it sure?”

Jax looks at me and her. “Good with what?”

“Sex with Sasha.”

“Uhm…well…uhm…”

“It’s okay she’s my oldest friend and lover and you’re beautiful Jax, worth sharing.”

“Okay…”

I take my coffee into the kitchen as Sasha takes top undressing quickly and sexily and I make the fixings for breakfast…scramble for eggs, thin slices of potato, ham ribbons and some veggies. Then head in and get showered and cleaned up…they’re pretty loud and it’s mostly Jax…but I hear Sasha’s lovely sounds too.

She’s getting dressed and fixing herself in my mirror by the time I’m out and getting dressed too. I kiss her tasting Jax lingering there and we smile, kiss some more and hug. “Thank you.”

“No problem.”

I head over and kiss Jax who’s gone back to drinking coffee with this mind blown look there. “Stick around, I’ll make up breakfast when we get back….I’d love some more of you too before classes.”

“Jesus Jamie you’re going to kill me.”

“No…but I want you to think every time you get a hard on about me sucking you or being wrapped around you…”

“God no problems there.”

“Good.”

I get some water and Sasha and I head off for our jog and morning exercises. Yoga too…it hurts but in a good way. I like pain remember…

Sasha’s in a good mood too since Jax and there’s sometimes when a good fucking is a real treat fist thing in the morning…I can see it in the way she walks and jogs. It makes me smile. Hey, sharing is good.

I really enjoy the morning too we do an extra mile just because there’s such a good feeling inside with those lingering big cock feelings inside of me and tai-chi and some meditation just centers me just right.

You ever have those mornings when everything in your life is just exactly perfect? I know I’m glowing from it, I can feel the real me shining inside.

Sasha and I jog it home too and I kiss her at the doorway and bring her just inside and sink to my knees. Yes…more…but ours has gotten into this whole deeply personal intimacy between us. It’s so much more than sex. We kiss again and she’s off to her day and I head up my steps and can smell food.

Jax is up and he decided to cook the breakfast stuff I had ready. “Oh…thank you…this is really sweet of you.”

“Jamie…I don’t really have the words for…well for everything…”

“No, they’re not needed…” I kiss him and we sit down and eat then do the dishes together. Once they’re done I take him by the hands. “I need to get ready for classes you want to shower with me?”

“Hell yes.”

It’s great…shower sex is great and having someone to wash my hair and my back too just made everything so much better. I like him watching me get ready for my classes, lotion, powder, make-up I like being petty and well done up especially as sexy and beautiful as I’m feeling…He gets another hard on watching me settle my plug in place…I want the feeling still to last inside and it still trains my hips to move and sway…the corset and getting him to tighten me up I think was the final thing that got him hard again.

Yes…one more long sweet blowjob even if I have to fix my make-up and my hair after…he’s dressed after and still watching me…drinking me in maybe? I love the feeling of it.

I dress in a loose sweater but one that hangs right to show off my breasts and comfy but skin hugging jeans, wool sock because it’s fall and like most girls if my feet get cold I find I get cold, sneakers and my books, backpack, laptop and my purse.

We walk down my steps and he walks with me to school and the food hall. I’m not hungry but me and my friends meet up there. Jax holds my hand the whole time and even slips my pack and laptop off my shoulders and carries them for me.

We’re there a bit early and my classes today don’t start until en so we head to the coffee kiosk place and he buys me my large Macha tea and he actually gets a Yerbe Matte which is sort of the same but from South American places. I kind of like that he gets something so different it says stuff about him.

“Different choice.”

“You too.”

“Sasha got me hooked on it.”

“We’ve got a Columbian guy on our boat as the cook.”

“Ah that’s actually pretty cool.”

“I…I…Jamie this was the best night of my life.”

“Not the best.”

“Yes, the best…just perfect…no games, great lovemaking, a stellar meal…amazing conversation…this has been the best night I have ever had.”

“Good, thank you.”

“I want to see you again.”

“Okay, me too but you know I’m with others…or might be with others.”

“That’s okay…honestly I’m not sure if I can still wrap ky brain around how fucking amazing you are.”

“Don’t, I don’t want a pedestal Jax, just love me the way that I love you and what will be will be. I’m far from perfect, I’m just myself.”

“You…you love me?”

“Yes, somewhere last night between the lovemaking and dancing and the food and the talking you became part of my heart.”

“Jamie…”

I look him in those great eyes of his. “Jax, it’s true…we shared magic last night and that’ll never change, never get old and it’ll be a night I’ll carry forever.”

“It was magic wasn’t it?”

“Yes, and I will never mind telling someone that I love them. After tonight you’re part of me. I’ll always care about you like no one else…people just limit love was too much and think it’s wrong to love others but I’ve a big heart, room enough for you and all the others too.”

“I…I love you too…”

I kiss him and he kisses me. “When can I see you again?”

“What’s your work schedule.”

We sit going over our stuff he fishes all week and will be out on the boat then mostly but he has weekends off so he’s free tomorrow. Honestly I want more of Jax…I’ve missed being with a guy like Tommy and Jax is definitely that but so different too. We trade phone numbers, face book, e-mails and text information and I smile. “Tonight?”

“Sure.” God I love the excitement in his voice. “You want to go out?”

“I’d love to go out on a real date with you.”

“Movies?”

“Sure I don’t get to the theatre much.”

“Me either so movies and supper?”

“Sure.”

“Where?”

“I like surprises, so surprise me you’ve been here longer than me so take me to one of your places.”

“Okay.” He’s smiling and I can’t help it I’m smiling back.

The gang comes over and he gets up and goes to the kiosk again and I’m hugging and kissing Rick and Tommy and getting some looks from some of the other kids…some scowls from some of the girls…and interested looks from some of the guys. I still can’t get the smile off my face I guess and Rick and I lean on each other a bit. He gets it too plus he has that look too like Tommy made his night and morning. Then the girls show up and there’s some hugs all around and the girls are giving me these knowing looks.

Jax comes back with a double tray of coffees and another tea for me and a box of the mixed baked goods. Neela and Karin look pleasantly surprised at the treat and I see Karin bite down on the knee jerk response she might have had and thank him quietly.

Good…she’s really trying.

Dina still looks a bit feather ruffled at the way Jax kisses me and looks at me but she blushes too when our eyes meet. We’ll have to talk this out again maybe, she’s a great girl but she’s still new to other viewpoints…and honestly she’s very hot looking but can’t get passed the trained I’m hot mentality of her high school life.

I kiss Jax some more. “Tonight? About seven thirty?”

“I’ll be there.”

He leaves and we sit and we talk and eat and drink before we head off to our classes. I’m looking forward to tonight…and maybe even more. I’m with others but something more, something steady has a pretty strong draw too.

I do notice a slender young man watching me fairly intensely though during the morning, more than the others. He doesn’t head my way but he was definitely watching me really closely.