Absinthe, Opium and Honor…Chapters 7 & 8.

Chapter Seven.

I know I’m literally just getting started on this path I’m on. But you know dressed in my pink Nike breast cancer tee-shirt and my faded but girls jeans. Shopping out in the Sunday sun with a really good looking, decent guy who knows what I am and he doesn’t care in fact he’s touching my arm and just me with that kind of sort of together thing.

I feel like a girl, I feel pretty even this dressed down. I feel like me. I can’t stop smiling.

It’s shopping at yard sales after the farmers market and it’s so far one of the best days in my life. There’s a lot of good deals here too which makes me feel all smart and accomplished even with this really being the first time I’ve lived on my own. Tommy takes us around just driving and we end up stopping at five of the yard sales.

There’s some old records of bands I like and some that are the girly kind of stuff that I’ve never listened to before. I’ve never heard of The Bangles, or Go-Go’s, and Dempsey’s Midnight Runners? Beach Boys? Steve Harvey and Cockney Rebel? I get a bunch of those about twenty of them for a buck each.

I know nobody uses vinyl but to me it’s two things. One it’s rescuing them from being turned into scratch platters from DJ’s and two…there’s just something about owning a real record that’s like owning a book. I’m a sucker for hardcover’s most of all.

Wow I also spent too much on books that are there too. I actually get some of those cheap romance books those are being sold for like five for a dollar. I always dismissed them but I see them as immersion studies. And yes, I bought a few hardcovers too, romance types getting tossed in with my science fiction and fantasy.

I do buy useful stuff too, cheap dishes I like, utensils and even a toaster oven and an electric wok and a few other odds and ends. Like any girl I guess I gravitate towards the clothes and there’s a lot of old, old stuff and here from a lot of the senior types but I can’t help but buy a lot of things. Where else can you buy clothes this cheap, I know it’s strange but I really like some of those old styled housewife dresses. But I actually try to buy some of those clothes and stuff by the bag or the box.

I’m going to buy a sewing machine; I’m going to learn with all these artist ideas bouncing around in my head.

I’m trying to carry the stuff to the truck and Tommy takes them from me and puts all the stuff in back so it doesn’t blow off or bounce around. “Thanks Tommy, I can’t believe the stuff I bought and spent.” I slip up to him and kiss him once he’s done run my hands over his sides.

He kisses me back a nice long kiss and I feel his hands slip down and cup my butt. I Love that. I mean love it. It’s not just the sex thing but…there’s this feeling on him wanting to touch me, to hold me in this cute but very PDA kind of way and there’s that other person’s body heat sinking through the denim and I can’t help it. It makes me feel sexy.

And girly.

And that’s a very good thing.

He breaks our kiss and just holds me casually as he smiles at me. “Hey, You’re just getting started about all this, you haven’t had the chance to get stuff you need as a girl, and you’re in your first year too Jamie. There’s a ton of stuff you don’t own that you should have.”

“Yeah but I feel a little like one of those overspending girls.”

“No…you’re nothing like one of them, you’re buying your stuff with your own money. You’re totally not like those girls.”

“I’m not?”

“No, Jamie…you’re better.”

I can’t help but to blush. “Thank you…” I kiss him, deeply and hungrily. “That’s the kind of thing that makes a girl really want to reward a fellow.”

“Oh…” He pulls me into him a bit more and I can feel him hardening in his jeans against me. I love the feeling, this sense of sexuality as a girl.

“Oh…indeed, let me treat you to supper?”

“You’re going to buy me supper?”

“Don’t tell me you’re old fashioned about girls paying for guys after Allie.”

“No, not at all. We’re out having fun and if you want to treat that’s cool by me but it’s different when I ask you out okay?”

“Certainly as long as it’s the same for both of us.”

“Deal?”

“Deal.”

We seal it with a long kiss and we get into the truck and we start driving looking for a place to eat at. We finally settle on a sushi place. Tommy looks at me as we’re parking.

“You sure about this?”

“Yeah why?...oh…you’ve never had sushi before have you Tommy?”

“No…I always couldn’t get passed the raw fish thing.”

“Me neither but I’m from Ontario, I’m not all that certain just how fresh the “fresh” seafood is in some of the sushi places back home. But I want to try it, I mean we’re here in Vancouver we might as well try it.”

“Okay, I’m game if you are.”

We kiss and we head inside to this sushi place called Zaibatsu Sushi it’s small one of those long hallway kind of thing with a few booths but that glass wall and counter with the bar that you see people belly up to in all those movies.

We’re given menus and we start ordering things, it’s nice because there’s pictures and a little blurb about how they make it. But some stuff we order because someone else ordered something and we’re all “Ooooh! That looks good.”

I learned a lot of things.

Tommy can’t use chopsticks to save his life. I feed him and he feeds me but he uses his fingers once he gets frustrated in a funny way.

There’s like more than one kind of soy sauce.

The rice the use, the sticky stuff is really well named and its way more flavourful than I thought it’d be.

Sesame oil is strong stuff.

I like wasabi more than I thought I would.

And they cook more of this stuff than you think.

It was expensive but worth it. Just over a hundred and twenty dollars with the tip but we ate things and tried things for close to two hours, getting a show watching them make the stuff and trying some free offerings because we’re so new it shows and we get taught a bit of Japanese and I’ve got some California Rolls for lunch tomorrow and leave laughing and having fun with Tommy while loving and drinking this thing called bubble tea.

It’s like the best iced tea ever with these big balls of tapioca that you chew on. Mine are Assai berry flavoured.

I blew more cash here then anywhere else combined but I had the best time I think I’ve ever had. It was a date, it wasn’t but it was just this really, really great time.

Tommy keeps looking at me or rather sneaking these looks at me on the drive back to my place. I smile back and suck as seductively as I can on my bubble tea.

It takes awhile to get unpacked and it’s about six in the evening when the last of it’s put out of the way. Then there’s that we’re still new at this he’s new to my place still awkward quietness. I can’t take too much before I turn on some music and pull him to me by his fingers and we dance a little bit.

“Stay for awhile Tommy.”

“Okay.” He says with a smile.

“Make love to me some more.”

“Definitely.” That he says with an even bigger smile.

I move him into the bed room and kiss him. “I’ll be right back, get comfortable ‘Kay?”

“Sure.”

I grab some things and head into the bedroom and make sure I’m clean and ready and even showered afterwards. I lube myself quite well and lotion up, toss on some powder after that I put on a bit of lipstick and touch up my eyes and slip out and over to the bed where Tommy is near and just getting undressed. I see one of my textbooks out and smile as I walk up and kiss him and reach my hand into his boxers and wrap my fingers around his semi hard and getting harder cock. “I really like that course, Rodin’s a much more amazing guy than I ever knew.”

I take the book and set it aside and sink to my knees. I move my hand and pull down his boxers and pull him to my lips. I open my mouth and take in the head and wrap my lips around him and run my tongue back and forth under the glans…I let out a moan of delight even if it’s muffled.

Don’t get me wrong I like doing this but it’s not a taste thing so much. Aside from the taste of pre-cum its skin. I love the texture; I love the sensuality of it, the dirty erotic feel of it. But My moan is mostly for him. I mean who doesn’t want their lover to go down on them and make a sound of delight and pleasure. My moan of delight is for Tommy and I feel it work as he seems to get harder.

There’s a lot of girls that have such a problem with giving head there’s some kind of social stigma about it. But you know I heard things about some girls in high school, and some of the one’s that weren’t just blatant tramps but sucked their boyfriends without any of the drama or even liked it…those girls had the best relationships.

You guy left you?
I bet at least half found a girl that gives him head and doesn’t make him feel bad about it.

Yeah girls, how you’d like it if he said something about you was gross?

Sometimes it’s not just for him; part of me really loves this too. I pull off for a moment look up at him looking down at me and I smile this happy smile, it’s a real one partly from what I’m doing and partly from the way he’s looking at me. “Mmmm, Yummy.” is all I say before going back down on him and sucking his cock like a baby calf, insistently, with this powerful undeniable want for him to Cum.

Then the power starts to kick in. Tommy’s fingers massage my skull before winding into my hair and he becomes all instinct as he thrusts against my lips, my mouth, the more I control him…oh yes, a hand around the base of his cock squeezing him off, the other’s holding his heavy balls massaging and squeezing he goes from strong and male and in charge slow to me in utter control of him as he gets to where he’s cumming but not because as that first swell to shoot I squeeze him off until the reaction of shooting his load passes.

When guys get to that point they whine, they cry, they beg for release. I get him so sensitive too, the closer he gets the more sensitive his cock gets. All the while I’m taking him deeper and preparing myself…

I let go and rest my hands on his muscular legs and rest my jaw and throat muscles and ignore my gag reflex by focusing on the beautiful feeling of his big veined cock sliding back and forth over my lipstick slick lips.

Tommy’s hands hold my head as he loses self control but takes control of my head holding me like his little fuck-toy and there’s that tied up girl in me that loves this, wants him to be my master….but not in a sick S&M way. I get so into him being like this I cum myself when he buries himself down my throat and I feel the swelling pulses as he drains his cum into me.

I only get to drop out of my slut me lusting trance when I feel him let go of my hair and relax. I take him by his cock and balls and guide him to sit on the bed and I suck him slowly, making oral love to his cock. I pull off only to utter things like. “Oh Tommy, you‘re so built, thank you baby, I love your cock, you‘re so good to me…” I’m touching his body, worshipping his muscles and his tone until he’s hard again.

I slide up and we kiss and I look him in the eyes. “Stay some more, please…I really, really want you inside of me…please….” I drag in out and kiss him and suck on his lips before he rolls me over.

“God, Jamie any man that wouldn’t want to stay and make love to you isn‘t sane.”

I kiss him and he kisses me and he gets his condom on, and I’m smoothing it into place and add another layer of lube then rolling over and arching my back as I slide my bottom up for him…. “Please Tommy…please…”

He doesn’t disappoint. I feel his strong muscular hands grasp my hips and cheeks partly pulling me to him more the way he wants and I feel that feeling….I feel the head and the stretch and pop as he sinks into me.

I cry out. “oh..uh..aaah…” in this small girly cry…it’s not the size, I’m not too freaked by that after my toy and literally living with my plug. But it’s the body heat, there’s body heat inside me…hot, hard cock entering me by hot veiny inches and now I’m getting stretched a bit but…Oh…Oh giving a blowjob might be one thing but I honestly love this. The feeling of hot hard powerful cock sinking deeper and deeper until his pelvis touches my bottom and My insides dance and spasm with the hot invasion and in every clench I feel this huge, wonderful cock shape inside of me and I feel right…sexy, perfect…ideally me right into my soul.

This I love and it’s not long before I’m pushing back, being vocal…crying for… “More!…Please give me more Tommy.” and getting dirty words out in those cries of pure pleasure as he takes me.

I’m new at this but I feel like I’m made to be doing this, to feel this and this is why I love it so much, it’s as deep a thing as Tommy sinking into me, animal, primal, wanting…no…wanton. “Harder….” “More!” “Tommy….!” My hands dig into my bed sheets as that sexual bliss takes over the reptile side of my brain, I cum in a combination moan, cry and girlish whine.

It thankfully keeps going; Tommy keeps going because I’m so in this place in my head…where I’m this wanton woman. In fact there’s this point where I have these little electric mini-gasms as he’s hitting my happy spot so soon after I can and I’m getting all sensitive inside. Not hurting or sore but more sensitive, like I feel it so much better, so much finer.

I get off a second time as Tommy is measuring off his stokes and tempo to last longer…oh god he’s so good to me. He makes me feel so…I cry out in pleasure as he reaches around a handful of lube and he takes me to my second with these slippery sliding strokes that get into rhythm with his strokes in and out of me and I cry out again and my insides fluttering and clenching around him takes Tommy to his second cum too.

After that he rolls over and we just kiss, we kiss and we touch each other for the longest time or it seems like it and he rubbers back up once he’s hard again and he sinks himself into me but this time, it’s from the front…moving my legs and cheeks apart and sinks that amazing cock into me.

We make love, have sex? I’m not sure; it’s the first time I’ve ever done this face to face like this, more soft and slow and taking our time with my legs around his waist and Tommy leaning forward pinning me to my bed by my wrists holding me down with his strength and his body weight as he pushes into me slowly, oh so slowly but so good, I’m crying because it’s that good…him holding me like this so strong and powerful but there’s this sweetness in his kisses, in how he suckles my nipples as he takes me. There’s no mistaking that as Tommy gets more and more into it, more passionate and those determined thrusts become steadier and faster and harder.

It’s like each thrust has this shockwave of pleasure that rocks through me and him holding me down leaves it with nowhere to go but to just flood me, take me over and drive me into my sexual brain.

I sob scream, girly cry out as my climax rips through my body and I only cum a little but it feels like it lasts for so long and I arch against him, seize up and feel Tommy inside me with and almost self bruising force…. and I want to keep screaming and I want to claw at him to sink my fake nails in and drag them down his back, I want to bite him and taste his skin as I go wild for seconds that seem like hours… then he’s crying out at the same time and I swear he vibrates inside of me as he cums.

Then we’re both spent as Tommy sinks on top of me and we’re both panting and sweating as the efforts catch up with us and I fall into sleep barely aware that he’s sliding out of me.

Chapter 8.

I wake with him moving and we’re spooned and my sheets are a mess. Tommy’s face pushes into the back of my hair. “I hate to say this but I have to go Jamie.”

I yawn and nod afterwards. “I get it, I’ve got early classes too.”

We both get up and I let him use my shower while I strip my bed and change the sheets. I feel so tired but in a great way, loose, in the best way and I couldn’t help but sway as I walked and moved around my apartment if I tried.

I don’t really want to. No, I want this, this is me right down to my soul.

I toss on loose track pants and a sweatshirt and Tommy comes out dressed or rather dressing and I kiss him and take his hand and walk him downstairs to his truck. We kiss a little bit more. He looks me in the eyes. “When can I see you again?”

“I don’t know? Maybe the weekend. Sasha has me committed to her lessons all week and then there’s school.”

“Oh will you two be…?”

“Likely, I hope so.”

“You hope so?”

“Yeah, there’s so much I want to learn from her, to get from her so I can really be me?”

“You can’t do that on your own?”

“Yes, but I don’t want to. I told you that. It’s part of the package with me. Is this going to be a problem?”

“No…I guess I’m just jealous, I think I might be addicted to you.”

“Good.”

“Good?”

“Fuck yeah good. I want you so hooked on me that you have wet dreams, I want you to have that beautiful dick of yours aching for my mouth or my ass. I want you to look at other girls and not be able to help compare them to me.”

“Oh…you want an awful lot Jamie, you sound like you don’t want me with other women.”

“No, It’s not that Tommy. I love us right now, I love the way you treat me and make me feel. But I want an open life too. But I just want you to remember me…I don’t want to just be one of those other girls that you’ll be with I want you to remember me.”

“I’ll always remember you.”

“No, I’m a selfish little bitch Tommy, I want you to remember me when you’re seventy five and I’ll still get you rock hard.”

That gets him laughing. “Done, it’s a deal.” He kisses me again, I kiss him back.

“Thank you Tommy.” I say as I lean into him after the kiss and smell him.

“You’re welcome….?” He sounds like he’s trying to figure out why.

“I had a great day. It was the best day I think that I’ve ever had in my life, and you are such an awesome guy for doing that.”

“It…was? It was just yard sales and the farmers market, I mean you paid for lunch and…”

“And I might have simple tastes, today was perfect. I had blast this morning and at the sushi bar and tonight…especially tonight.”

“Really?”

“Yes, really. You’re a nice guy and so much more. I hope you’ll believe it someday that you’re way more special than you think Tommy. Just don’t go and change on us.”

“Us?”

“Yeah, there’s an awful lot of girls that need to meet a great nice sexy guy like you that’s not afraid to make a girl feel like a woman. You make me feel good about myself, more than I ever have and there’s a lot of us out there who need guys like you.”

He’s seriously blushing and he’s got this look, that blinking, and swallowing because he might cry guy face. “Jamie…………” Yep, he’s got that guy-emotional lump in his throat thing going on.

“Later Tommy, call me or text and stuff.” I give him another kiss push him to his truck to give him a face saving exit and I watch him go. I even hug myself happy and do that tiny little wave from my chest thing.

I turn to head upstairs and Mr. Robinson’s looking at me from one of the windows drinking a glass of something that’s likely whisky or something close to that color. He just nods and a bit of a smile and walks out of sight but I can hear him playing music, classical I think. Don’t ask me what because I’m limited to knowing a few infamous bits and that’s from TV and movies.

I slip back inside, get my books ready for tomorrow and set out some clothes and I take a bath. I have another great soak and go through my beauty routine such as it is and get back into my corset, and reset my plug and I slip into my bed sheets and fall asleep.

I don’t really remember my dream much but I was at the market, and there was lots of sex.

Even after last night I wake wanting a little, and have some moments with my store bought friend while I deal with my morning stiffy and then I get cleaned up again and dressed and off to class.

I’m in my corset and panties, and I’m wearing my long denim skirt that Sasha bought me and a camisole cotton top under one of those old styled blouses from the yard sale and just socks and sneakers and my Dad’s leather jacket which is miles too big but it just feels right.

I even take a purse.

***

I get looks and I don’t get looks. I’m sure I’m checked out a couple of times and I think I’ve been made a few times.

It happened in both class and in between them and I’ve been getting looks from a lot of girls.

Stares when I come out of one of the designated transgendered bathrooms. I get a few hateful looks from these girls that seem to really just seem to be knotted together. They’re part of the lesbian art course crowd. Apparently I’m creating the sin of false advertising.

I meet Neela though.

I was fixing my make up and she was watching me. Hindi, with dark skin and eyes but dressed in this really great business skirt and outfit and so much the finance major. She was even on her blackberry while she was checking me out.

She finished and walked over to me. “You’re a T-Girl?”

“No, I’m not but close enough I guess.”

“Transvestite?”

“No, I’m a girl alright just not biologically female.”

“But you’re going around dressed and you’re not a Trans?”

“Nope, I’m I guess gender queer? I’m in transition to becoming a fully functioning she-male I guess you’d say.”

Her mouth kind of hung open a second and I could see her WTF bouncing around in there. “But…why?”

“Why?, Why are you a lesbian? It’s who I am? I want curves, the right skin, the boobs, the looks and all of those wonderful girly things and I’ve never, ever felt right as a boy but I like my cock, I don’t really see the need for surgery.”

“But you’re stuck half way?”

“By who’s gauge, It’s me, it’s who I am and I think it’s my finish line. I don’t want of need to be one or the other.”

“Oh you’re going to ruffle a few feathers. Have you been to a LGBT meeting yet?”

“No I want to though, I need help getting the university ready for me being me and stuff but honestly I’d love the advice, or to talk and just kind of wiggle through this part of me without setting too many people on edge.”

“Well, you’re still going to do that. I’m not even sure that some of our trans student will get you. I’m Neela by the way.”

“I’m Jamie, God you’re lovely looking.”

She blushed. “So are you a lesbian then Jamie?”

“I’m not sure, I’ve been with one guy and another woman like myself and I love sex with them and there’s definitely a lesbian vibe between me and her but I’ve never ever been with a genetic girl before.”

“So, when you said I was lovely looking?”

“I meant it you are. I love your sense of style, if anything it makes you very sexy.”

“That’s not what I was asking.”

I write my phone number, and text and e-mail down on a scrap of paper and then step in and kiss her and do it long and slow and as sensual as I do with Sasha. I slip the paper into her pocket. “Yes, I’m interested, curious and scared and nervous Neela… Call me sometime if you decide if I’m worth it or not.

The rest of the day was pretty standard and she texted me back as I was walking up to Sasha’s house with her leaving me her phone number and her e-mail too.

Sasha open the door looking melt my brain as usual and smiles like I made her entire day… “Hey Jamie, come on in.”… and just pulls and leads me in by two of my fingers and takes my backpack and leads me to the sofa in the living room and she sits and undoes my skirt and pulls my panties down as she takes me into her mouth and there’s that look and sound and just plain feeling of her sucking my cock’s going to make her really happy.

I close my eyes as she takes me to places…. “Ohh….ohh…Sasha.”