Absinthe, Honor and Opium…Chapters 23&24

Chapter 23

I take my drink upstairs with me sipping on the hard yet smooth scotch. I’m not that well versed in alcohols of any kind but I’m getting there. I’d actually love to know good stuff from bad even as far as maybe cigars and stuff like that too. Not that I’d smoke them, heck I don’t really smoke anything besides really smelly and not good for you. But I’d like to know it in case of conversations or to know what to buy as gifts

It’s be a nice skill set to have.

I get undressed and slip into the shower and go over myself making sure all the hairs are gone and lotion up and then baby oil, I get into my routine of hair and make-up and getting “prepped” inside and tonight I want a little sexy sway so I use one of my plugs a bit wider, one that’ll really keep in the lubricant I used. I might not sleep with Ian tonight but it always seems to give me this slippery inside feeling that helps with my sway.

No bra or corset I’m dressing in this satin low cleavage little black dress that well above my knees and is backless its just head up by these little spaghetti straps.

But I wear my black lacy panties and garter belt and sexy black stockings with a four inch heel to go with them.

Clutch purse and a wrap that I made myself of black lace in two layers and held together by a faux black sable line of trim.

I make sure I smell nice with just enough of my favorite scent Opium.

I twirl in the mirror and smile, I look pretty damned good. A bit flat but still good actually my small breast seem not too out of place on me with my tiny waspish waist and I head downstairs and take the empty glass with me and knock on Ian’s door.

My oh my oh my…

His hair is really nicely groomed and there’s just this kiss of black or dark dark grey under the silver that he has there. Six foot two and likely two hundred even he’s got broad shoulders from the work that he does and a damn fine body that just happens to be wearing a nice shirt and tie along with very expensive looking slacks, shoes and dinner jacket. Gold rimmed rectangular framed very nice glasses and a killer smile and nice eye.

“Jamie please come in I thought we’d have a drink while waiting for our drive.”

“I’d love one.”

“Here let me take that.” He takes my wrap and gentle folds it before setting it over one of his chairs. “What can I get you?”

I sway-glide to him and take his arm and go to his bar with him and stare at his smiling. “Really Ian I’m open to anything, educate me.”

He gets this look in his eyes. Guys do when you ask them stuff like that. They get to be all…it’s a kind of power really for those that do know what they’re talking about but can make it interesting and for me too. Men live for this stuff. “Have you ever had a martini?”

“Just the clubbing trendy one’s nothing really classically done.”

He makes us a martini and I like it. Then again I like liquor and spirits to have a flavor and I like gin. Yes I learned something there. James Bond always has that line “Vodka Martini, shaken not stirred…” Well a real regular martini is gin and vermouth, you ask for a martini at a bar you’ll get gin. You have to ask for the vodka. I like mine shaken because you get flecks of ice in the drink and I like the effect. I’m not a fan of “Dry” as it turns out because you skimp on the vermouth.

We have a few drinks and it’s enough for me to figure out I like a dirty martini shaken with three olives. Actually I was more worried about the olives, we never really ate them home and turns out that they’re another thing I enjoy. Oh and a dirty martini just has some brine in it from the olive jar.

A good drink like this to me would go great along with a really good Caesar salad. I’m going to admit to this.

I’m a Caesar salad snob. There has to be garlic in the dressing, and the anchovy, good olive oil, lemon zest and juice and shaved…shaved parmesan cheese with it. Done right and it’s stunning and get’s you wanting something more.

I’m a bit looped but in a good way wanting to eat by the time our cab comes for us. One of the clearer cab companies too. Not cheap either it was eight dollars when we sat in the thing.

He takes me to this very nice very upscale place where the restaurant is upstairs in the building with a great view of the Vancouver harbor and the city at night. He opened my door, helped me out of the cab and even draped my wrap around me before we went inside. I loved how close and how attentive he was and the small touches to my back and to my bottom as he walked and guided me inside.

I am so leaning towards having Ian tonight.

Did I already mention he smells so…perfect.

The place is called Chiffonade and it’s a really nice French place with a big bar and dance floor as well as a pianist playing music and this very pretty black girl singing this great sounding French jazz?

We got to the bar and get another martini each and Ian orders the cold bar plate for us. Oysters served on the half shell on ice and flavored with just a bit of black pepper, lemon juice and sweet vermouth just…just drizzled over them and a bit of what has to be caviar.

My first time for raw oysters and caviar. Just six on the tiny plate and they’re good really good and after those and my drink he leads me out onto the dance floor. We are killing time, the place is packed but in an exciting way. Everyone here is nicely dressed, being nice, acting very…I feel like a princess.

I like the feeling.

There are also more than a few stares sent my way and most of them friendly if not sexually inquisitive. Both from men and women, I feel sexy and the dancing…I’ve only ever slow danced really with Sasha in her lessons but loved it…but dancing with a man, a real man who knows what he’s doing and has been dancing like this for longer than I’ve been alive. It’s pure bliss, whatever part of my brain is really female is squealing and so over girlied I’m charged up like never before.

I feel his hard on not that far into dancing and…wow…it’s good length, hung at eight inches I’d guess. But it feels so thick…thicker than any I’ve had. Just thinking about Ian’s cock literally has me drooling…I want it really bad and my insides are closing in a wicked grip with the plug inside of me.

I see a few people from campus, some of the well monied profs, a few of the really hot girls and Neela who’s there with Karin and two girls that look to be their dates. Both of them are dressed in very nice but more masculine clothes…the slacks and such. Actually Karin for all she dislikes me looks rather butch stunning…great slacks and dinner jacket a lot like a nice suit. It’s a deep smoky grey with dark blue undertones and she’s matched it with a black blouse that’s silk with a revealing neckline and shows off her cleavage. Fine chain with a white gold cross and matching diamond studs. It really shows off her blonde hair. Neela looks good too but just they’re something more cross gendered about Karin’s look that I like better.

I smile and finger wave to them as I’m dancing. Neela’s watching me intently so there’s a bit more soft, soft sex kitten in my dancing and glide sway as we go back to the bar. I opt for a sparkling cider this time because I really don’t want to get hammered. I’m a little on the safe side of drunk. Safe enough I’m mature enough to stick to the alcohol free beverages at least until I sober up some.

Nothing worse looking than a nice girl all sloppy drunk. Actually that’s the key word isn’t it? Girls, ladies and women don’t get out of hand like that.

Ian orders us another appetizer because you are more allowed to eat naughty, sex with your hands foods at a bar. It’s why tapis bars are so popular these days. We get these really large spot prawns with the heads on but they are or have been cooked in this coconut cream that has some butter in it and a touch of Thai red curry to it and reduced and reduced until thick and rich and decadent and the prawn itself is what is cutting through that decadence with that slightly salty sweet flesh.

“Here, it’s too messy, but too good to pass up.” Ian says using his hands to pull them apart and feed them to me and one has the prawn and the other has a napkin under it to protect my dress.

I take the tail into my mouth and suck the sauce from it before daintily working the meat from the split shell with my teeth in two little pull tugs wrapping my lips around the meat …like I’m sucking a cock…soft, decadent teasing and looking him right in the eyes.

“Mmmm…so good, creamy, salty and sweet, thank you Ian.”

“You’re welcome Jamie, so do you suck the head?”

I love the innuendo. I’m so hot right now my nipples hurt, really hurt and so do my small breasts. And I love it… I love the agony and the foreplay of it, the wetness oozing from my own cock as it’s trying so hard to get hard past the hormones and the plug…it actually helps.

“Oh…yes Ian, I always suck the head.”

He holds it up to my lips and I make a definite cock sucking girl imitation that has me turned on. I love the act of it and the inside of a prawns head is excellent, like the roe and such of any good shellfish it’s often the best part to some.

There’s only four but slow as we’re doing it they last and by the time we slip to the dance floor the very many people close to us that had been watching us are ordering the same thing. I hear the line from where Harry Met Sally twice… “I’ll have what she’s having.” It takes us both to that nuzzling kissing talking laughing about the whole thing.

I think I’m getting popular…There’s a few more people staring at me. I notice nice bulges in more than a few pants and some hardened nipples.

Neela is watching me again, Karin too. She looks pissed at me and shoots a few upset with her glances at Neela too. I ignore then both really past a polite smile…I told Neela we were okay. Karin, I honestly think she hates me or the thought of me. (Sigh.) Not everyone’s going to like you Jamie.

Ian’s hard on says that he likes me very much.

We get back to the bar just in time to get seated and we both agree on The Chef’s table which is a series of dishes, teases really. I Love French food so I’m game plus there’s still that booze-hunger that goes with it.

The first is a tiny four bite salad but with endive and olive oil and beet greens and cubed yellow beets and goat cheese with maple candied walnuts.

The next is escargots I love these things, people might think eew snails but they are soft and poached just a slight chew and taste between a clam and a mussel, in this wonderful butter sauce, again just a tease.

Hot asparagus with French styled green beans was next then the main course.

Scallops cooked just right with a nest of king crab on this lettuce called frisee? But with this sauce of cream and butter but with sea urchin inside the sauce. I loved every bit of it and if I was home I’d have been licking the plate.

We take a break to dance before desert and I slip off to the powder room. I do my business and I’m getting made up and getting looks from several women and there’s this red head in a really nice slinky dress also red nice long legs, generous breasts, slender waist in her thirties maybe older but she really doesn’t look it we make eye contact in the mirror and she smiles at me. “I’m Rebecca, you’re…really stunning…are you Bi?”

“Yes, are you trying to pick me up?”

“I guess, I am…I was watching you at the bar and I haven’t been able to get you out of my head since.”

“Thank you but I’m not what I look like, well I am but just some people make assumptions.”

“Oh?”

“I’m not a genetic girl.”

“Oh…well you still like women?”

“I love women, I live as one.”

“Maybe we can go out sometime?” She offers me her card. I take it and write my number on it with a pen from my purse. “Sometime…I’d like that.” I smile at her, and reach up and tuck a strand of hair from her face and behind her ear.

Some other girls come in as I’m doing it and it’s Karin and Neela and their dates. Rebecca pecks my lips and slips out swaying and looking over her shoulder at me before she goes out the door.

There’s some tenseness or awkwardness the girls with Neela and Karin are in and out quickly they look at me a lot, and checking me out a time or two and I return the favor and lock eyes with them. They leave first and there’s whispering as soon as they’re out the door. Neela went to do her business. Karin’s staring no… glaring at me. She looks like she wants to say something…get angry…well physically angry.

The thing is that we’re in the same self defense classes.

Neela comes out looks at me starts getting cleaned up. “You…you look beautiful tonight Jamie.”

“Thank you, I think you look beautiful as you always do Nee.”

She blushes. I step over and hug her, stroke her back some. “You haven’t called me?”

“No…” She looks down and away from me.

“It’s okay, I get it, you have to still live your community, I’m not well liked by some of the Lez crowd.”

“Sorry, I’ve been….”

“It’s okay, we’re good.”

“You’re out on a date? With the older guy?”

“Yes, his name is Ian.”

“Are you going to…”

“Oh yes, I am…”

“Oh…”

“Neela?”

“Yes?”

“Call me, life’s just too short for this bullshit.” I hug her again but slide into her personal space more and kiss her and kiss her really slowly. I slip out of the powder room with a sway.

I do want another chance to be with Neela. She’s a nice girl but too hung up of her lesbian code. We had a great moment and she let those ideas get in the way as well as her hardcore friends.

Okay, there is a temptation to go and really seduce her in spite of them. But no, that’s a scunt move. I am letting her know that I’m very interested if she can get past the things in my life.

I can feel the heat from Karin’s glare at my back as I leave. Yeah I can feel a confrontation coming.

I sway over to Ian and have another Martini and then another dance. That sets my mood back to rights. I love the feel of his hands guiding me on the dance floor as he leads. I love the very nice and subtle way his hands touch me. And I love the feeling of his hardness pressed against me. By our third dance I lean into him. “Let’s go back to your place Ian, I want this to get a lot more personal.”

“Absolutely.”

He get’s our coats and drapes me in my wrap and takes the chance to kiss my neck and press his hardness against me again. He calls our car and helps me inside and we end up softly making out in the back. He’s a great kisser and the things the caresses over my breasts are so soft and patient that I feel so horny I could boil over. It took a lot of will power to not pull cock out there and suck him. I’m salivating at the thought.

We get home and it’s still those incredible manners. Helping my out of the cab, guiding me to the house his hand in the small of my back. He opens the door for us and lets me in first. I’m not sure if I could handle these manners everyday but to get the consideration, the time and the care…it’s social foreplay and I like it.

“Would you like a night-cap Jamie?”

“I’d love one, can we have them in your bed room?”

“Yes, we can. Are you sure you want to do this on our first date?”

“Yes I am Ian, honestly I love Sasha but she’s a she even with her excellent parts. I’ve been without a real man for far too long and you certainly deserve that kind of consideration.”

“I do?”

“Yes, I’ve had a wonderful evening, I want to have an unforgettable night too. I want to stay the night with you and make you feel like the incredible guy that you are.”

“I’d like that.”

We kiss and he puts on some jazz. I’m not sure what it is since I don’t know jazz but there’s saxx and trumpet I think being played in long notes. He makes a shaker of Martini’s and leads me to his bedroom.

It’s amazing, an antique bed with the metal frame and the porcelain decorations and panels. But the rest is just. Big floor to ceiling shelving units that look handmade and they’re covered in books and pictures and knick-nacks of a man who’s lived and traveled the world. Just the thought of it turns me on, my brain keeps saying real man over and over. This is the kind of guy that really they don’t make anymore.

The music is up here to and he pours us a drink and we drink those and dance. By our second dance he slips his fingers under my dress straps and it falls a bit…he doesn’t let it hit the floor. He gathers the fabric and walks me backwards to the bed. I sit as he gets it down past my bottom and pulls it from my legs and he folds it over the back of his chair for me.

That was sexy, the care the actual thought, doing that….I’m aching and vibrating for him. I stand and undo his shirt and tie kissing him gently but passionately. I moan just a bit into him mouth as his skilled hands are touching my breasts and I very nearly cum in my panties. He has these big hands and they’ve gotten tough from years of work in the field but he knows how to use them, he uses that hardness and roughness as a tease…that kind of hand is a man’s hand, rough, tough, hard working and to feel them touching me drives me wild with the thoughts I just said…these real mans hands touching me and there’s the body heat and there’s all this experience…I sink to a crouch in my garter and heels to get away from getting off too fast. My stiffy is aching, my breasts are screaming for me to let him continue and I’m clenching around my plug…My body is flushed and throbbing but I want to suck his cock first.

I pull his boxers and pants off and “Oh Ian, you’re magnificent!” I coo, I’m enraptured by it. He’s eight and a half inches but he’s so thick! I’ve never seen a cock that big I mean Tommy was long but this is long but hard, and covered in veins pulsing with virago and my hand can’t wrap around it. He’s drooling pre-cum that I lap up happily and that first taste and the texture and smell turns on my crosskicking gene. I swear I have to have one, I love it so much.

It’s even an effort to get his head into my mouth. Oh heaven, I try and try to get more and more into my mouth, my throat and I have to swim breathe through it. It almost hurts getting his cock down my throat, I can’t help but to clench…there’s no room for anything but cock there. His fingers run through my hair and he’s moaning. “Oh Jamie, oh god you’re so amazing…I haven’t had a woman take me so deep in nearly twenty years…god your so beautiful, such and amazing girl…”

It takes me most of everything I know to deep throat his monster, swim breathing in bursts, trying to relax my throat as much as possible, fight through my gag reflex…until I get to the base of his pubic bone and I fondle his large balls and move my body to move my throat and start using my face to fuck him…I moan, laugh, gurgle in pure lustful slutty joy as he cries out. “Oh sweet god!” I keep going until I get to that point where he takes over and fucks my face. I hang on to his powerful thighs and relax and just breathe.

I feel my lips getting cockburn, from the friction a sensation I love. And I can feel his massive head pushing through my throat and it takes my mind into this place where I’m blessed out by that hard cock. I pull back when he starts telling me that he’s ready that he’s going to cum for me. I pull back until it’s just my lips fastened to his cockhead and I suck and swallow even before he shoots off and when he does it’s a lot of his essence. It’s so rich and thick and good…like a man’s cum that has been a long time between now and his last orgasm. Vintage cum, I love it. And the sexuality of it has me just aching even more. I feel feverish from need actually. I catch my breathe with my face in his groin pressed against his cock. I kiss it to life and Ian pulls me up gently and lays me back on the bed.

He kissed me and plays with my breasts in that amazing way before he slides down and gives me a very skilled blowjob playing with my plug and driving me wild. He removes the plug and replaces it with a finger and finds my prostate and massages it until I cum crying out “Ian!”

He slides up my body and gives me a snowball kiss with my own cum and we kiss some more and then I feel him up against me. He sinks in and I scream…pain, pleasure, lust…He slows. “No!, don’t stop Ian I need that cock of yours, God I want it so much! It hurts so good!”

He kisses me the softy say. “As you wish.”

Never, oh never have I felt a cock like that and the ridges and the massive head and filled…oh this wasn’t filled, or stuffed…. it was possession. I was being possessed by cock and when he nudged my boy-spot he smiled and said. “Good…there it is.”

He pulled my right leg around his waist and my right over his shoulder and began to make love to me. Never, oh breathing felt odd, strange, beautiful. That massive cock sinking in and out of me and I couldn’t clench I was at my limit and every nerve in me was feeling the head, those veins, that heat…oh fuck the heat and there’s a pillow slid between my bum and the small of my back…Holding me up into this perfect angel and I’m screaming…so fast so soon and I’m screaming…. “Ooooooooooh!…Fuck!, oh fuck!…Ian!!!…Aaaaaaaaagh!”

I writhe, just bucking my hips in this almost trace, taken over sweat soaked and possessed by the voodoo of his massive cock I don’t eve feel my cum building until my orgasm hits me and I shoot….then it happens.

My body seizes around Ian’s cock. It happens when we cum, all of us be it male or female we clench up, in bursts as we get off. Only Ian sinks to the hilt and my body squeezes and my brain is consumed by the sensation of fullness, heat, and shape over and over with each pulse squirt I’m supposed to have turning that buy cum into this over and over again orgasm but it’s all pure Boygoddess.

I blank out stop be Jamie and just became this painful beautiful fuck creature. Then dazed, full, breathing and panting and it feels so fucking good…Ian slowly starts moving inside of me but this time he’s caressing band suckling my breasts with that older man perfection and sharing these long passionate kisses.

I keep having these mewling, crying, gasping little mini-gasms and there might not be anything shooting out of me and Ian’s taking me to that place where I was when I first started with Sasha and he’s taking me to a whole other plane in my sexuality. I’m his right now I’m his and there’s so much pleasure overwhelming me I fall into being his little fuck toy with abandon.

His sex talk is so… “Jamie, oh god sweet Jamie, you’re so good, hot, deep…it’s been so long…so long since any girl’s gone all the way with me, let me sink all the way in and…oh Jesus you feel so good, so right…perfect, you’re fucking perfect.”

You know what that feels like? To have this well off, charming worldly handsome man fucking you to a place you’ve never been and of all the women and companions he could have he’s with you and tell you how good you are how perfect you are? I’m crying, because it’s that powerful for me.

“Fuck me Ian, please, pretty please don’t stop…you’re more…so much more than the men I’ve had before…I love this…ugh…oohh….amazing cock of yours but you…I want you…you’ve see…done so much…ughn..!…fuck me with it, make love to me…show me me your world tonight please…please…please Ian, make me a better woman baby…”

I meant every word of it. But men, guys…they deserve the same thing as we do. To be told their special, to get to feel like they are worth it, worth a lot to us girls and that we can love and treasure them sometimes.

He stops fucking me and kisses me and stares at me with this intensity. That makes me spasm around him into anther little whimpery cum. “You mean that?…what you said…really mean that?”

“Yes…Yes, Oh my god yes…Ian…I want you…I’ve…I’ve never head a night like…this…known a man…like you…and you want me, and you like me just for who I…oooh…am…I need that, I need you…I want to… to take me, make me better, love me, teach me…”

He kisses me deeply and he gets a lot slower, deeper better…turning his hips into me as he sinks to the bottom inside of me. Lots more foreplay, great loving kisses. Another boygasm that sends me into my crying screaming then before that’s even over Ian finally cums inside of me coating my insides, my sensitized inside with silky, sexy, liquid heat. It sets me off harder and leaves me sobbing very out loud in sounds that have no words just cries of pleasure.

It feels like all night, it feels like forever, it’s one of those experiences that happens to you in life where you either get swallowed up by the experience or you dive headlong into it and welcome the changes that come.

Face to face, face down pushed into the bed, spooning style side to side, up top of him crying and dripping sex sweat…and more, and more. The more I let go the better it got the more I got into it, the more used to it my body became and I started returning the love…finally getting to the relax and then grip, hold and clench and use my insides to pump his orgasm out of him.

He’s not used to a woman taking him, he’s not used to having a girl there enough to start fucking back, to wanting more.

Fuck yes I want more…I…want it all…And when I really get into him I’m on top riding that heavy pipe of his using that size and the seal between us to literally be a real actual pump like one of those things guys use in the porn mags that are the vacuum pumps.

I suck on his nipples, I use my matted hair to tease and tantalize him and lean ahead enough to feed him my nipples and breasts.

There’s a lot of back and forth and I’m not done until he’s done. We curl up together and I hurt, it the very best of ways…I feel so empty…so…fucked…I feel his cum running out of me and I’d honestly be crying in shock if exhaustion hadn’t set in and I fell asleep in his bed and his arms as he pulled me closer.

Chapter 24

I spent most of the weekend totally out of communication just living, loving and fucking with Ian. He was headed out soon to some job up in Yellowknife. It was a truly great weekend the sex, the lovemaking was incredible and Monday I was still sore and so well fucked that I was glad to get back to my schedule.

The girls had different reactions to my weekend. Dina frowns at me at the coffee place and points at me with her pen. “I hate you y’know that, how is it you keep finding all this excellent dick?” Victoria laughs. “I keep telling you it’s the Mahu thing, there are men in the world who like she-bots better than us.”

Henna’s nodding drinking one of those vile wheatgrass things. “The evidence is right there Dina, Jamie is hot and guys like the freaky exotic.”

“Oh Puh-lease…can’t we not talk about guys, not all us here have a use for those things.” Noel’s pulling a face. I smile and look at her. “Hey, guys aren’t that bad.”

“Yeah….still…yuck…” she shudders and looks at me. “You sure you have one of those…things…on you?”

“Yes, I still have my original equipment and I still like it.”

“You’d be better as a girl y’know.” She almost pouts.

“Noel?”

“Yeah?”

“You ever been with a post op t-girl?”

“No…uhm…yuc…” She’s staring at me. “Oh shit sorry Jamie, I didn’t mean it that way.”

“Yeah you did Noel, it’s okay. We’re friends. And I get it, you’re into girls, and to you a t-girl is just a reworked guy right?”

“No…I’m not like that…I mean if someone’s a girl then they’re a girl it’s just even a t-girl just sorta the…same…just.”

“But you just said a girl’s a girl.”

“I know, I just…I mean I can like them fine but I just couldn’t. I’d be picturing the dangle.” She really looks upset. And to be honest it sorta hurts but doesn’t at the same time. I mean I’m not going to change and she has every right to feel that way. I just think that she’s short changing some t-girls. The thing is I think she thinks she is too.

“Noel, it’s okay. You don’t have to be politically correct all the time just because of your sexuality. It’s okay not to be into someone for whatever reason. No ones asking you to go out with anyone.”

(Sniffle) “Okay…”

We hug and head off to our classes and the day is pretty routine. Although I do get some more clothing ideas and sketch them up at lunch. I’m going to make some pseudo-Victorian dresses kind of like what some of the goth girls wear but mine’s going to be less dark ad more friendly. Built in corsets, low bodice a little lace. I like the designs to a bit of a shorter skirt…yeah these would look nice.

That afternoon another near run in with Neela and Karin’s with her little entourage of man-haters. I really don’t get the men are scum thing they all seem to have. I can see it in like a case of abuse but honestly I doubt that’s the general rule. Most abused people that I’ve met at the LGBT meetings aren’t like that, even if they’re lesbians a lot of them are hurt and trusting anyone looks to be hard for them.

Anyway, I keep an eye on them as they’re eyeing me just in case.

It’s funny to me though.

They hate men.

They dress and act all aggressive in a parody of them.

They say no violence against women.

But they’re looking like they want to kick my ass.

But according to them, I’m not a woman. While technically true I dress and live as one, I have small but real breasts but no…not a woman.

It’s also kind of sad really.

They’re so convinced of these things that they miss out on some really great chances for meeting people and making friends.

I get through the day without and major incidents. Sasha’s was nice to come home to and we relax. I show her my sketches and tell her about my weekend with Ian. She’s a little jealous and I’m a little proud. He’s been with her, and she couldn’t take all of him.

I make it up to her by making us Martini’s like I’d been drinking all weekend and once the class work it out of the way and supper is in the oven the lessons get really relaxing as she starts to teach me massage.

Oh that was very nice.

Returning the favor was too. Not just the erotica of massage. It wasn’t like that but real massage. And I really wanted to learn this too. Then some supper, I’m still learning and I really enjoy that too.

The making love was nice too, just soft and gentle sex, lots of eye contact and just letting go. I already love her and she loves me and we just go with it. We are who we are and we just don’t let things get in our way, like being all dramatic over the other people in my life or the people in her life we just are.

The part I really like though is when we fall asleep in each others arms in mutual afterglow and in the fireplace room under a quilt. Honestly there are times like tonight I could be just into this, just into Sasha.

Times.

But there are huge parts of Sasha’s life I don’t know about. I’m afraid to know about and she doesn’t volunteer either. And no she’s not a fuckbuddy. I…I don’t really have those. Rick went on from me to a full time coming out of the closet relationship with Tommy and Ian…well Ian’s…he’s a lover, has to be after our weekend.

But tonight…I’m aching again, my breasts are sore and have been since the weekend. They’re sore and itchy a lot with the hormones and those patches and Sasha’s gentle hands and soft lips and wet sweet mouth are so soothing. “They’re growing Jamie.”

“Really? I thought so, my bra’s are starting to hurt. I think it’s the patches.”

“Could be what’s in them?”

“Some kind of absorbable amino acids and hormones.”

“You have any on you?”

“In my purse for after I shower.”

She went over and looked at the package. “This study is for?”

“They wanted to see if a hormone patch would be more effective for breast growth if applied directly to the breasts.”

“Well, I think you’ve been on HGH with these.”

“HGH?”

“Human growth hormone, all the rage with jocks but also in breast growth creams and pills.”

“But those don’t work?”

“It does to some extent. You have to get it to work by diet and exercise and stuff like that. If you’re just a slug you’ll end up a bigger slug or it’ll do nothing. How big is your mother and sister?”

“I dunno, a mid C cup?”

“And on your Dad’s side of the family?”

“I don’t know.”

She sways over and pushes me down and straddles me she cups my breasts and caresses them. “I’d say you’re a high B-cup now.”

“Ooooh….are you sure isn’t too soon.”

“Think back to school, did your sister get a sudden visit by the titty fairy.”

I giggle but think about her and … “Yeah there was a spring when she really took off.”

“Well you certainly have that in common. They’re coming in like you’re having a teen growth spurt the HGH is compensating for the whole missing growing up as a girl.”

“Is this dangerous?”

“How much longer do you have?”

“Until December fifth, it’s a sixty day…oooh Sasha…” I gasp as she gently squeezes my breasts and suckles. I feel my nipples harden to little, everything start to react.

“You should be okay Jamie but we have to feed them.”

“Feed them?…Ooooh…more?”

“Oh yes baby, lots of blood flowing there, and dieting right, exercise…”

She gets really loving and caressing, squeezing sucking on them and introduces me to breast sex. Titty fucking some people call it…I don’t care it feels good, and I love it when Sasha let’s go of her cream al over my breasts.

Yeah I spend the night.

……………………….She’s actually a bit obsessed with me getting the best results out of all of this as the next few weeks go by. Really tight corsets, and in between lots of sit ups. Breast strokes in the pool and even hitting the weights to firm the “girls” as their growing…high fat diet with me working out and giving the fat that’s building up naturally to do so with the hormones in the patches pulling the fat cells there almost. Turns out fats and hormones like each other or something and my breasts ache, not bad but they feel swelled all the time. I guess it’s because the fat cells really only have a few places to really go and that’s my breasts and my bottom.

Wednesday I make my appointments for my plastic surgery and deciding to skip getting breast enhancement gets me a faster appointment and Friday I go in the hospital and Sasha stays with me. She actually cancels her weekend and moves me into her place.

So what’d I have done? A chin implant to give me a classic female oval face with the softly pointed chin, lip implants not collagen I only want to do this the once and a nose job, just a smaller reduction and a tweak to my eyelids…just a tweak to the folds giving me a hint of something exotic.

But Sasha shows me above and beyond where I thought we were at. Like I said she turfed her tuff for two weeks to pamper and take care of me. She brought my sewing over and my assignments and it becomes something so special.

She models for my clothes, and for my painting. She breaks up things with making love and dancing, she teaches me too more dancing, Chinese as well as my French and German we cuddle a lot too and take naps and we even drop our workouts… though we do our tai-chi and yoga everyday at her house. I just want to stay out of the public eye while I’m a mess. I know it’s vain and silly but I really just need the space from everything and I think Sasha’s taking a vacation from her life.

And the food. Not a lot of take out instead we cook a lot, she cooks a lot. I learn really basic stuff. Cookies, biscuits, bread and rolls with baked beans and chili, how to roast and fry chicken, make a roast and ribs. We can’t eat all of the stuff but we freeze some of it. Ian comes over twice. I’m shy about my bruising and it’s not a big deal. And it doesn’t go to the whole sex thing either. One night we play games, cards in a few different games as they introduce my to how to really play poker, blackjack but I learn backgammon too and Sasha is unbeatable at monopoly and Ian is a complete killer at scrabble.

I’ve never played those things at home. Between Dad working and well Mom and Kate couldn’t be bothered…and I didn’t really have friends much in school….

And being on these hormones gets me upset about how alone I was, and that I’m scared of losing this. It’s a scary thing to go from nothing and feeling like being nothing to having so much to lose.

That leads Sasha to really blowing my mind with her inviting everyone over after I’ve been home for about a week. I’m embarrassed at first looking still bruised and swollen but (Sniffle.) I don’t care after they don’t care and It’s Tommy with Rick…god they look happy…and they don’t look like what most people would assume is a gay couple. Dina and Noel, Victoria, Henna all show plus Ian.

Dina is staring at Ian a lot at first, and Noel is staring stunned just completely stunned by Sasha. It’s hard not to be when you first meet Sasha and she’s even just being relaxed and dressed down. That being said she’s in these perfect old faded jeans, not the bough ten crap either but these are just perfect age worn beloved jeans, she’s just got a Chinese silk camisole top on and her hair in a pony tail. Sasha is truly lovely, she looks model stunning too.

We watch movies, not even new ones but the three Jurassic park movies, the King Kong remake and Indiana Jones. It’s funny Ian can quote nearly all of Indiana Jones. Sasha and I make Chili pizza’s where you make the dough then bake off the rounds or pizza skins. Her and I do all of them first with a bit of hickory chips on her outdoor grill for smoke. Topping them we do refried beans, then chili as sauce and then we top them with sausage, chorizo, jalapeno peppers and really thin sliced red and green peppers and onions. All topped with jack cheese with the peppers in it.

There’s baked beans and lots of popcorn and munchies, and we just hang out. Like hungry happy university kids and there’s joking and a lot of beer and then there’s the drinks, green fairy’s and Martinis and the perfect game for drunk people.

Trivial Pursuit.

It was one of the best nights in my life really. We didn’t break things up until close to dawn. At one point Noel was dancing wit Sasha then they were gone for awhile, and Dina had been flirting heavily with Ian all night. The next time I seen Noel she was walking swaying, almost singing and really glassy eyed. She did kiss Sasha goodbye then hugged me more than still a bit drunk but at the same time not drunk enough that Sasha took advantage.

“I… I was wrong, You and…and…her…Sasha…you’re great lesbians…she’s...she so fucking beautiful…”

“I know Noel, trust me I know.”

Okay she might have been a little looped. As she kisses me and cupped my breasts but there was something serious there in her eyes before Victoria pulled her away and she giggled her way to Vic’s car.

Sasha and I clean things up and go to bed together. Make love, I can smell Noel in her bed and it doesn’t bother me, it adds a little bit of something there as I get pictures of them together and get pretty turned on… that asian she-male model body of Sasha’s in contrast to that pale nordic skin and skinny slender tiny breasted waif. I can smell Noel’s perfume on the pillow and make up telling me that Sasha had her face down…here right here.

We got friskier than usual or rather lately.

“Sasha…”

“Mmm…”

“Thanks for tonight.”

“You’re welcome Jamie.”

…………………………….. It’s after my surgery and my recovery and I’m back to school. It feels good to come back. Honestly, I feel amazing…I looked at myself very deeply in the mirror this morning and all that I felt was myself looking back at me. My real self. It felt like one of those science fiction scenes where you step into yourself.

Five ten, and one hundred and fifty six pounds, my eyes are blue but have this slightest of slant to my eyelids like there’s a bit of asian somewhere back a few generations, almond shaped eyes they call them, pert nose, full lips and classic oval face.

I’m a 36B but have a 22 inch waist an 26 inch hips but I have a very nicely filled out bottom. I can’t help but feel great, sexy, lovely, smart and good about myself.

I dressed in one of those pseudo-Victorian dresses today, it’s a russet color with golden brocade on wine colored silk at the edgings. I’ve loved that look those dresses had then like the gowns back in the sailing ship days just moderned up. Low bodice that’s combined with the built in corset with front lacings, short skirted just above my knees with a white cotton underlayer with just some lace at the edges where you might see it when I move.

I really like it, it’s cotton and velour and it’s pretty and warm and I love the effect when I slipped into pretty white stockings and these great calf high buckskin boots Ian bought me as get well present. I take a shoulder bag to match it and a white lacy knit cap.

I even take a shawl. There’s just some days that some old school can really make something new and beautiful.

I looked great, I look great and feel better than that as I listen to my I-pod and smile at those that smile at me and I’m waiting in line for my green teas when I hear Neela.

“J…Jamie?”

“Hey Neela, you want to join me?”

She’s staring at me and I smile and get us both our usual orders and I get an oatcake for myself and a berry scone for her and she smiles at me with a bit of surprise but she takes it.

“God Jamie, you look….You’re beautiful.”

I smile and blush, tuck some hair back behind my ear. “Thank you…where’s Karin.”

“She’s been out sick, she’s got a bad case of the flu.”

“She doesn’t like me very much.” I tear little bites off my oatcake as I talk. She’s really staring, looking me all over taking all of me in. She looks down and she pulls off a bite of scone then a sip of her coffee.

“No, she really doesn’t Jamie, you’ve no idea, she goes off on rants about how you’re fake and have an agenda or are making fun of “real women.” there’s a few others who feel the same way too.”

“Why? I don’t even know them?”

“You’re beautiful Jamie, every time I see you, you get more and more stunning…I…I feel like crap that I haven’t been the kind of girl that’s been strong enough to stand up when they’ve been ragging on you…I feel sorry that I freaked out on you after we’d been together…”

“It’s okay, I told you that Nee…what hurt most was….” I wasn’t expecting tears and I blot with a napkin. “What hurt most was the way that you thought I was just using you for a cheap fling…I don’t do those…”

I almost want to hug myself but I adjust my shawl and look at her. She’s looking down at her coffee. “I’m sorry, I was scared, you’re…and the things you did, the things you said no one’s said anything like that to me before or since.”

“Ask me out.”

“What?”

“Ask me out.”

“Okay…Jamie…Do you want to go out tonight?”

“I’d love to Neela.”

“I’ll pick you up?”

“Please.”

“Dinner?”

“I’d like that.”

“French?”

“No, surprise me.”

“Okay….” She’s smiling now. I can’t get over how it changes her looks, she is very pretty and really exotic. The smart classy New York business look she usually sports only makes her that much more to me. If she was decked out in her ethnic stuff she’d seem more regular.

I get up. “I should get to class, when should I be ready?”

“Seven?, Wait aren’t you with Her during the week?”

“Her name is Sasha and our date’s more important to me than Sasha and my’s usual. I’ll call her and take the night off.”

I lean over and kiss her on the cheek. “See you later.”

I leave with a smile on my lips and head to my classes.