Absinthe, Opium and Honor…Chapters 3 & 4.

Chapter 3

I wake up with my alarm and I get up…whoa…I’m really feeling the uhm Plug. It feels weird getting out of bed and moving around with it and I cough trying for that first morning breath being constrained by the corset. I got up and took it off and use the bathroom and take my other friend with me. It’s got a handy sucking base for it and I get cleaned up and do my necessaries then by the time I’ve been thinking about it I re-lube and tried placing it in a good place in the shower but abandoning that I go back to my spot at the foot of the bed after I’ve set down two folded over towels so that it doesn’t hurt my knees so bad this time.

I’m still so new to all of this but there’s this feeling that settles into you as there’s this just sexy, kinky, sinful way that it feels all that hard yet soft molded silicon. It’s better than my sex with myself used to be and I don’t even need a manual assist to get me off it and the intense fantasies do that for me.

Another shower and more clean up and I resettle the plug and I put the panties back on from last night and put the corset back on and pull it tight, it’s awkward but it feels worth it and then I take off for my Saturday morning classes. I notice both all day, especially as I have a lot of stairs to use during the day. My hair’s loose and I’m in boy mode but I keep getting looks every once in awhile.

I think that they can see the corset and I am walking funny, no strike that different than before. I know that some of the looks are people trying to figure out boy or girl. And for whatever strange psyche reason that has me smiling.

I spend this two hour span around lunch before my last class in the courtyard with a large green tea, I’ll admit to just starting to drink and it’s pretty good. I ordered it in a light voice, trying for girl…the trick is breathy, guys voices tent to force the air out more and I never realized that women’s voices were like that unless really excited or mad.

I people watch and sketch them mostly the girls, trying to soak in the culture they seem to have all their own. Again more looks from some passers by. Two from guys when I’m lost in sketching, my hair falling in my face now and then. I think I’m being checked out. Very scary, very I don’t know, arousing. I lift my cup to find it empty and give it the old shake and a sigh before setting it down.

“Can I get you a refill?” A male voice asks. I look up, tall and lean, tanned with brown hair and brown eyes, just a t-shirt on and jeans his books with him in a backpack and a laptop.

“Sure, I’m Jamie.”

“I’m Tommy.”

“Tommy, cute it suits you.” Am I flirting with him?

He blushes, I made him blush… I bite my lower lip. “Tommy?” I say as he’s heading for the coffee kiosk. “Yes Jamie?”

“I’m not female.” I don’t look away if anything I sit a little straighter, no not sexually straight If anything kind of like the way the other girls would, that cat like leaning forward. I look at him in the eyes and see him doing at recheck of everything he seen.

“But you act like a girl?”

“I am a girl.”

“Uhm…I…., look I’ll be right back.” He could have just bailed but he leaves his stuff at my table. I watch him go. He’s a big boy, six three, two hundred pounds, long legs but in the guy way, I’ve noticed mine being on the thin side. He’s got a broad back, looks strong he comes back with two cups. “Green tea right? That’s what the girl said you were drinking.”

“Thanks Tommy, You could have bailed.”

“Hey, I offered you a refill, I’d be an ass if I didn’t follow through.”

“I guess, but a lot of people wouldn’t care.”

“I’d care, that’d be messing with my word.”

“That’s really cool of you.”

He shrugs and blushes and looks at me. “So you’re not a woman?”

“I said I’m not female, there’s a difference.”

“I’m not following, I’m just a poor guy from rural Saskatchewan.”

“Oh, farm boy then?”

He rolls his eyes and takes a drink of his coffee. “I always get that y’know. I’m actually from a lumber town which is kind of the same thing. I mean we farmed home but it was always for our own needs kind of thing. You know what I mean?”

“Nope, I’m a city girl anything farmy for me came from the store.”

“Oh, well we had some animals mostly for our own meat and milk and eggs and just a really big garden.”

“Must have been nice.”

“Oh it was now that I’m seeing the prices for stuff here, it’s why I’ve started my own.”

“You have a yard that the landlord will let you garden?”

“No, but I’ve got a nice place I guess with lots of windows and I planted some stuff inside.”

“I’ve never actually met anyone who’s done that before.”

“I’ll show you if you want.”

“I’d like that. Tommy? Why aren’t you weirded out by me?”

“Oh, I sort of am. I mean are you gay?”

“I don’t know, I like to look at girls sexually sometimes but looking at guys that way is new to me too.”

“Oh…?”

“I’m just coming out, I’m Mahu?”

“What?”

“He-she, lady-boi, she-male…” I duck my head and blush. He’s taking another drink of his coffee and smiling. “What?”

“Oh I was just thinking that sometimes you get what you wish for.”

“You wished for me?”

“No not exactly but it’s why I came out here to go to school. I wanted to get out of Bellville and actually see the world and meet all sorts of different people. And no offence Jamie but by my towns standards your definitely different.”

“Is that a good thing?”

“It is to me, home was choking me under the small town bullshit and all the stereotypes and just getting put into another one of their boxes. I should have taken a trade, married a local girl then buy a place or build one and settle down at the age of twenty and start living my life. It felt more like be like the rest of us and we’ll still love you…don’t get better than us or that won’t stand.”

“Sounds like that’s happened already?”

“Second year here, I went home this summer and people were angry, they changed on me because I was the college boy. I got a lot of those people that just tossed that in my face, like they assumed I was trying to be better than them.”

“What’s wrong with wanting to change? I’ve just started this and It’s the most right thing I’ve ever done in my life.”

“Bellville’s got about two and a half thousand people and it’s the big town in the area, we’ve even got us a Wal-Mart. They don’t like or want a lot of change there. There’s a lot of there’s nothing out there you need you can’t have here.”

“That sounds…it sounds like hell.”

“It was, I just couldn’t stay there anymore.”

“I’ve got to go Tommy, I’ve got one more class before I’m done for the day.”

“Me too what are you taking?”

“Intro to Amerindian art.”

“Sonnets.”

“Oh English major?”

“No, Architecture but I’m taking English as a minor. You’re an art student?”

“Yup, literally, it’s going to be my stock and trade. I drew my own comics and stuff back in high-school or tried, now I’m looking to open up my horizons.”

“I’ll see you later? Show you my garden?”

I look him over. “I’d like that. It was really nice to meet you Tommy…when?”

“After classes? I’ll make dinner?”

“Okay…it’s a date?”

He looks surprised at the idea, but there’s that look he had while going for my tea.

“Yeah it’s a date.”

“But…but…I’ve nothing to wear.” I’m joking and grinning but really I don’t.

“You look fine.”

I smile and grab my books and spend the afternoon’s last class riveted by the introductory materials and in intervals I’m thinking about Tommy and getting nervous, it could be bullshit of me walking into a gay bashing trap but not too.

I mean it’s Saturday and a lot of the meatheads that I was hanging out with don’t do weekend classes, that’d cut into partying. Besides Tommy really opened up to me…and that felt so…guys don’t do that, not with guys.

I get out of class and do a quick run to the student union store and I buy a bit of make up, a bit of lipstick and some nail polish, fake nails and fake lashes, deodorant, lotion and…condoms. I see him pacing in the courtyard and I come out and smile at him.

“Hey, I needed to get a few things. I don’t live too far from here can I just go get freshened up and stuff?”

“Hey, you wouldn’t be a girl if you didn’t right?”

“Thanks Tommy you’re a sweetheart.” He blushes, it feels really good to be able to do that.

We walk and talk about the area as we do. He’s in his second year so he knows a lot of the local stuff and he goes for another tea as I slip into the salvation army thrift store. I need some real clothes and I buy a couple of dresses that’ll fit I think, some shirts and a few jeans and a pair of Capri’s. Even at these prices this is going to run me a lot of money.

Tommy has this look on his face when I come out of the thrift store and takes some of my bags while passing me my tea.

That earns him a kiss on the cheek. He blushes again which is awesome. He even let’s me stop at the ATM and Take out some more money. I make one more stop to buy underwear and it’s still pretty expensive just for five black cotton panties. Haynes for her isn’t the cheapest but I’m not sure that I’d want to wear the really…really cheap panties.

Tommy is all sweet guy patient as I head home. I show him my place and head into the bathroom. I take a shower and get re-cleaned and lubed and put the plug back in them I put of some of the coconut and orange flower lotion, powder myself and take my time putting on my fake lashes, then the nails and paint them. I brush just a bit of foundation on where I think I could look smoother and add the lipstick. I’ve read TG stories and I know some stuff just from well not being an idiot…Make up isn’t the impossible thing you read in those stories. I mean just…Well I get a bit of a look going without looking like a clown but it’s not as good as it could be but I’m still proud of what I did get done.

I hop and tuck shimmy into a pair of these faded and worn boot cut jeans and…Wow…I mean…I’m still and a far cry from Sasha but I’m so not boy me. I toss on a scoop necked tee-shirt in powder blue and step out.

Tommy looks at me his face just showing surprise. “Wow…Jamie you’re…”

“I’m a girl?”

“Yeah….I mean…I…”

“I know what you mean.” I grab my back pack and toss the few things I need into it. I step up and slip my arm into his and smile at him. “Shall we?”

Chapter 4

Tommy has my arm in his and we walk all over the place as he shows me some more things but all of those little shortcuts through the neighborhoods around campus and we talk about some of the places.

It’s nice to get the tour and learn what little hole in the wall café has the best this and where the good second hand clothing places are and the bookstores. I groan as I see three textbooks I bought new that I could have bought for like fifteen bucks each. To make matters worse Tommy says the student bookstore won’t give refunds just store credit.

He hugs me and cheers me up by laughing and saying. “Next year Jamie, I’ll take you around and we’ll save some cash together and you can get some cash off your old books anyway.”

“Next year?” I turn to look at him. “What? We’ll still be dating then?”

He smiles, he’s got a cute smile. “We’re already friends Jamie. I keep my friends for a long, long time.”

I smile and kiss his cheek.

We’re still arm in arm when we get to his place. It’s this older building mostly brick with these big windows in it like it used to be something industrial at some point and he takes me up what was obviously a fire escape that got turned into stairs for the various apartments here. He lets me insides and it’s a loft space but it’s a poor loft space, exposed pipes, industrial wood floors that’ve been painted a couple times and a few cheap dividing walls set up. It could be so much more but then if it was it wouldn’t be affordable.

But it’s not all bad. Tommy has these bench tables by the windows and a few hanging planters and there’s some stuff I recognize just because of the stuff growing on the various plants, he shows me beans and peas and these trays of these stubby carrots and he grows lettuces and herbs and stuff too.

“You eat all of this stuff?”

“Yeah it’s pretty cheap and if there’s too much I’ll dry it or freeze it. I do a lot of juices too.”

“Wow, that sounds seriously healthy.”

He laughs and smiles. “Cheap, cheap’s the operative word Jamie, I just really got to buy a few things or more likely trade at the farmers market for a few things.”

“That’s more than I’d have though of.”

“Hey, I just started my own little farm and it grew over time.”

“It’s still really neat.”

I walk around checking things out. He’s got a lot of books, a lot of them. It kind of makes me want to read more. There’s a drafting table and all the measuring stuff and supplies for that in a corner where he’s got these great big prints in black and white of these gorgeous buildings, I love the sculpture of them but have no clue of what’s what even when he tells me and passes me a cooler one of those Canadian Club whisky ginger ale things. I have a few drinks and he’s going on about some sculptor like buildings over in Spain.

I take another drink and I look at Tommy.

“Tommy? Where’s this going to go?”

He looks at me, surprised and confused. “Go?”

“Yeah, you didn’t know I was like the way that I am when you walked up. If I was a regular girl would this be heading to something more than friendship?”

“I…I…uhm…Yeah…Probably?…sorry?”

“It’s okay, I get that but are you….did you write that idea off when you found out?”

“I…I…Uhm…”

I set the cooler aside and step to him and kiss him. I press against him and put my hand on his crotch and massage. It’s scary and dangerous but I know this is something I want if I can have it. I break the kissing.

“Tommy?”

“Huh…uhm…wha..?”

“Can I give you a blowjob?”

His eyes went huge and he’s staring at me and I stare back. I want him to see that I want him. My hand is still rubbing his crotch and he’s definitely hard, so am I but I’m tucked into my jeans and it hurts so good. I feel the pug though more than I have in hours as My body seems to clench around it.

He nods and lets out a breathless. “Okay…”

I kiss him again softly and sweetly and say. “Thank you.” this is where some one like me is different I think. GG’s have all sorts of hang ups and I don’t think guys get to hear stuff like that.

I kiss him again and sink to my knees and undo his belt, his jeans, pull down his zipper with my teeth and I look at him through my hair and the false lashes as I use my false nails to caress around his boxers and then get him out of them too.

Tommy’s got a real hunk of meat on him…I guess that’s what you’d call it. It’s growing in my hand hot with the blood being pumped there and he’s long and thick. He’s uncut so that’s new for me and I pull back the foreskin and take a few licks, look up and him, smile and wrap my lips around the bulb of the head and roll my head and suck hard… I let out a moan, of good, yummy…a few times actually letting him feel the vibrations from me doing that.

Tommy’s eyes go huge and he’s gasping already…I look at him paying more attention to his chocolate eyes as I inch him into me more and more. Watching him as I do that works past my gag reflex. It’s only difficult the first four or five times and it makes tears run out of my eyes. His hands wind into my hair, fingers gripping my skull.

I feel him losing control, that guy getting head needing to thrust thing…I close my eyes and just breathe through my nose when I can and relax my throat and let him…I give in and let him and it’s…God I feel so erotic and I can’t help the moans, I want the moans for him to hear…to hear myself as he pumps in and out of me stopping only as he cries out… “Oh fuck….Oh…Jamie…”

I pull back off or mostly and wrap my painted nails around his base and keep him from cumming. He whines… “Jamie…………” I smile and I suck him more, swivel just the head capture by my lips, taking him more and more into my mouth and throat them off, stroking him off hand job like as I stand and kiss him. “Bedroom…”

I try to make it that mix of demand and please. Tommy has to walk backwards but he takes me to his bedroom just some queen sized box springs and mattresses on the floor but that’s always been cool to me.

I know, I know this is whore like. But I don’t care, I feel good, free and a lot of people hook up like at my age. I mean high school was a lot like this for most of the people that I knew.

But maybe this is just me, finally being me.

I ease him to the bed and I sink to my knees and go right back to sucking and teasing him…getting the head of him so teased and sensitive he’s whining my name, begging me…“Let me cum Jamie, please, please let me cum.” When I finally get ready too I tell him breathily. “I’m ready Tommy, I’m ready give me your creamy seed, make me happy, watch me Tommy, watch me…”

He’s staring at me as I loosen my grip and I move my hand up his shaft and hold him steady as he cries out and I suck his creamy offering down thankful for all those times I partied and chugged beers.

Tommy passes out, well flops back on his bed and I pay attention to him until he’s hard again and I slip out of my clothes, remove my plug and crawl onto his bed until I’m where I can kiss him.

“Is this freaking you out?” I ask him.

“Yeah, no, yeah…I think I’ve just had the best blowjob of my life….” He looks me in the eyes for awhile and then kisses me back.

“I like you a lot Tommy, I like you and I just, just wanted to…”

He kisses me and I kiss him back and put the condom in his hand and he gloves up really fast and rolls me over onto my stomach and sinks into me. I’m more open than normal from the plug and the lube and he’s still wider and hotter, there’s nothing like the real thing.

I could get into all the porn like stuff but let’s just say it was good, really good I came twice just from him making love to me…I came once with him reaching around, that was the last one…and that wasn’t making love, that was Tommy using my until I he was done and I was crying and begging for more like I never thought I would and fell into the sheets spent, sated and exhausted. He even cuddled up to me and spooned sweetly soaking the bed in sweat and cum.

“Was…was that good, was I good.” He asks me.

“Good? You were fucking great…was this too gay?”

“Gay? I thought you said you were a girl?”

“I am but I’m a bit of a boy too.”

“I know, I know it’s okay though.” He reaches around and cups my balls lightly, it feels good and I moan. “It’s college we’re supposed to be open minded.” his hand leaves my balls to stroke over my stomach then hugs me for awhile.

What a great way to doze off, just still in that lovely place where everything just feels so right after being with someone. That and having them holding you tightly, just all of the good and no guilt, if anything it’s an affirmation of everything I feel I am.