Absinthe, Opium and Honor…Chapters 5 & 6

Chapter 5

I wake up and feel Tommy moving he’s getting out of bed and trying to do it without waking me. I feel good, actually kind of slutty…but in a good way?

“Hey…what’s up?” I ask as I roll over.

“Bathroom.” He slips off and I see him come back with a cup of coffee after five or six minutes. “Coffee?” I shake my head. “No, You…” I reach over and stroke him until he’d hard again, then apply a condom to him and take him into my mouth again.

I’m not a fan of the rubber flavor or texture but I get Tommy rock hard again. Then add some more lube to him and to myself. He coughs on his coffee a few times. “You want more?”

“God yes, Tommy.” I smile at him. “I want you to get a hard on whenever you think about me. I want you to want to find me and fuck me hard when the girl that you’re with next doesn’t want to have sex with you anymore…I want to be the girl you think of when you‘re alone and needing release…”

I bend over and press myself into the bed and wiggle my butt back and forth. It’s only seconds before his hands are holding my hips and he pushes inside me. I moan, and grip the bed sheets… “Oh god… fuck yes! Tommy, give me that big beautiful cock of yours.” some of it’s verbal foreplay, part of it’s me wanting him to really think of me that way. The rest is that sublime feeling of his thick heavy hot sex sinking into me. He goes in all the way in a long push.

There is something about it in that reptile part of my brain that responds, to feel that long hardness, the heat…my walls clamping around him and when I do I can feel the shape of him.

I am being a slut there‘s no other word for it, but I genuinely like him too. He was nice, funny, sweet and respectful to me. If he was just the average guy being an idiot no…but since it’s Tommy, and he’s that nice and sweet a guy…I really want to be his little whore.

Three condoms later and a long sultry blowjob and Tommy’s collapsed on the bed. “Holy fuck…Oh god, Jamie…Oh Jamie…I…I…I think it’s broken…”

I kiss him. “No it’s not you just had a really good night of sex….I’m just as worn out maybe more so but it the best of best ways Tommy, you really are a fantastic lover.” Honestly I think it’s true. It’s not like I’m that experienced but I know everyone likes to hear they were good for their lover.

We kiss some more and he gets up and kisses me and he goes to the bathroom again and comes bath with something girly and sweet on his skin. “I ran you a bath, in case you wanted it.”

“Lilacs?”

“Ex-girlfriends stuff she didn’t bother taking it with her.”

I get up. Ooooh sore, but like I told him in a good way. I look at his clock it’s 7:34 PM…four maybe five hours of fucking and dozing….it brings a smile to my face. “So am I a rebound girl?”

“Kind of.” Tommy looks embarrassed. At least he’s honest.

“Thank you Tommy.” I kiss him again but earnestly, a really good kiss.

“Uhm, why?”

“For being a good guy, for being honest with me.” I give him another, you’re awesome, you’re a good guy kiss. There’s this look in his eyes like he’s getting emotional. I know for a fact that guys, guys don’t get rewarded for stuff like that anymore…where’d all the good guys go? They’re still here girls…they’re just getting convinced we don’t give a shit about them anymore. Or anything they do…so why bother…girls today, women take just as much advantage over guys as guys do to them.

I give him his boy space, let him get control, we‘re not allowed to let go like that, it‘s socially conditioned into us, I wonder how that‘s going to work with me? . “And thank you for the bath…this is the first time anyone’s done anything so sweet for me.” I move off to the bathroom taking my things and I can sort of feel myself sway a little bit away.

The bath is pure joy, even though it’s stinging at first on my well treated bottom. But it’s my first bubble bath since I was five or so. I sink into it and dunk myself. Honestly, other than meeting, being with Sasha this is likely the best afternoon, evening of my life. I ease up out of the water and push the suds off of my face and hear music playing.

“Yellow” by Coldplay….one of my favorite bands and one of their better songs.

I soak and Tommy’s cooking because I can smell and hear it and there’s laundry on because I can hear a washer going. I take my time, lotion up, use some of his ex’s baby powder, reset my plug I walk out corset on. “Tommy can you lace me up?” He does and he’s gentle about it but it’s good and snug. “Mmm, this smells good what is it?”

“Oh it’s my secret grilled cheese recipe and tomato soup with a salad?” He’s asking about the salad as he’s reaching for his plants. I nod. God the soup smells really good, I cheat and take out a wooden spoon and take a taste. It bursts, like no tomato soup I’ve had before.

“Oh…Tommy this is really, really good. Why’d she break it off with you again? Stupidity tumor?”

“Allie, and I saw things differently when it came to what makes people happy. To her it was money.”

“A lot of girls like security Tommy.”

“It wasn’t so much security as money, She took out credit cards in my name and I cancelled them before she could run me into debt. She just saw me taking what she deserved from her. I mean she was with me and I guess that should have been enough for me to go down in debt for her. I was going to have a high paying job and all, I should have had to problem treating her like she deserved.”

I frown, oh I so don’t like this Allie, too much like my mother and my sister.

“My mother and sister are members of the I’m a girl so pay, pay, pay club.”

I take another taste of the soup. It’s really good, the only things I can make out though are the hints of roasted red pepper and butter or cream of both.

“I hate people like that, I hate women like that.”

I’m going to treat people better than that. I f-ing swear I’m going to treat people better than that.

Tommy makes this salad of several greens, pea shoots…I didn’t know they were edible, green beans and some peas, one of those stubby carrots, shaved thin and croutons made of diced leftover baked potato just oil tossed and roasted in the toasted over.

We eat on his floor by one of those great windows of his and with a few candles in a mason jar. Great soup, salad and these creamy spicy grilled cheese sandwiches while listening to some good music.

I help him clear up. “You don’t have to do this Jamie, you’re my guest.”

“I’m more than that I hope considering…” I smile at him then kiss him again. “Here, let me wash.”

I like doing this, there’s something homey and bonding in that boy girl way to doing dishes.

I look at the clock again. “It’s late, I should go Tommy.”

“You could stay.”

“Not tonight, I want you to think about this, about me okay?”

“Uhm, okay?” He sounds confused disappointed too.

“Here.” I write down my phone number and my e-mail and stuff on the notepad by his phone. “Call me sometime okay?”

“Okay?”

He walks me down to the street and we kiss. “At least let me call you a cab.”

“Sure, it is pretty late.” I kiss him again. “Thank you, this is really sweet of you.”

I get into the cab when it comes and he gives the cabbie my address and a twenty. “I…I had a great time Jamie, I’ll call you.”

“I had a great time too Tommy, you’re a great guy.”

The cab pulls away and I watch him watching me go. You can see it in there, him getting treated differently than usual. It’s just those little things I know firsthand. Getting told those things mean more than guys ever say. I like the way he walks upstairs a little taller…it makes me bite my lower lip a bit, I like that I might have done something good for his heart. I think Allie hurt him a lot and maybe others too.

Chapter 6

I get home and at about an eleven buck ride the cabbie’s happy for keeping the difference I still give him a tooney thanking him.

It’s late by the time I get inside and I go to bed and fall into a nice sleep. It’s a leisurely morning waking up, doing my new routine and I just spend most of my morning drinking coffee in my panties and my corset and one of my new girl tee shirts and study. I want to do better in this because, well just because. I write up a few papers to start with and throw in a sketch or two to kind of try to define what I’m seeing with jotted notes and arrows.

I find it funny in the art courses there’s so much book work and studying, there’s more of a cerebral thing to it than I thought. I thought things would be more hands on.

Needing a break I get into the Capri pants and I go down to the yard to just clean things up and garden a bit. I’m in my bare feet, I’m I guess bad for that. I like going barefoot, I’m not mowing or anything big just raking, clipping weeding and adding some mulch and some of that Miracle Gro stuff then it’s time for something to eat according to my tummy.

It’s just after lunch which was just microwaved vegetable soup and tuna right out of the can. It’s a nice day and I was going to sketch some when actually then it get’s better. My phone rings and I take it out and the call display shows Tommy Maguire. There’s this little feeling in my chest like a little burst of happy. He said he’d call and he did.

I answer the phone. “Hey handsome, Maguire huh, I’ll forgo the Jerry Maguire jokes.”

“Thanks I appreciate it.”

“Good, thanks Tommy.”

“Thanks‘?”

“For calling, you said you would.”

“Well I really try to do things when I say I’m going to.”

“Follow through is very sexy Mr. Maguire.”

“How sexy?”

“Well for me it’s right up there with being sweet and honest.”

“I want to see you again.”

“I’d like that, when?”

“Now?” I can’t help but laugh, it just bubbles out.

“Now? Tommy It hasn’t been that long since I was at your place.”

“Yeah I know but I’ve been thinking about you since then.”

“You have?”

“Yeah, how about we go out, I’ll take you shopping?”

“Shopping? I thought that you weren’t into all that stuff after Allie?”

“I still buy things, you need things you said and it’s Sunday.”

“And that means church?”

“Sunday afternoons are great times to hit the farmers markets and there’s a lot of yard sales.”

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Okay.” I’m laughing again. “I’ll see you when you get here.”

I head upstairs smiling and as I hop into the shower, I don’t take long but god more and more stuff I need but don’t have. For wanting to be a girl, needing to be me, I really don’t have anything I really need. Lotion and powder and deodorant and I spray some into the corset before getting back into it and lacing myself tight as I can, I even exhale as I do it. I need to get more of these things, more of a lot of things.

I tuck and slither shimmy into a pair of faded jeans and a pink ladies Nike breast cancer charity tee-shirt. I just put a light bit of foundation on and was doing my lip stick when I here him knocking at my door. I look out the window and wave and grab my jacket and wallet and stuff a few girl odds and ends into my jacket pockets just like I did as a guy, only I like what I’m carrying in mine better.

I run down stairs and Tommy smiles at me and presents me with a cardboard box full of plants in tin cans with names on them. There’s mostly herbs but some chives and lettuces too.

“Oh…wow, this is cool Tommy.”

“Better than flowers?”

“I’ve never gotten flowers so I don’t know but I just love the idea of this.”

“So good?”

“Oh very good. Can you show me where I should keep these?”

He comes upstairs and he helps me find places for them in a few places and I like what they added to my place. I kiss him when we’re finished setting the ones up in the kitchen window pressing him into my counter. I rub with my hand until I feel him harden. I kiss him sweet and long one last time. “Can I give you a blowjob Tommy?”

“Uhm…yeah…”

“Good.” I softly purr leaning on him. “I like to, but it’s always polite to ask.”

I slither slide down him body. “Y..You like to?”

“Oh, yeah…Tommy, I’m me. I’m not those other girls, part of what makes me…well…me is I like sex, I like being sexual.” I stroke him and pull him out. “Oh hello handsome.” I smile and like I’m tasting my favorite treat I take him into my mouth and give him a long slow but very insistent blowjob. He has his fingers through my damp hair and I love it, I love taking him there and the eye contact…and the shiver through him as he lets loose. I don’t just swallow but I wrap my lips in a seal around his head and stroke as I chug him like a beer. There’s a lot of suction there and I hear him cry out “Oh fuck Jamie…” followed by him almost whining… “Oh god Jamie.”

Then he’s stroking my cheeks with his thumbs even with him still in my mouth and when I slip off of him he guides me up into a kiss. “Tommy maybe I should brush?”

“I don’t care.” He kisses me even after that and it’s intense and hungry and emotional.

We do brush our teeth and I fix my hair and make up quickly before we head out the doors and he opens the door to his truck. I smile because he deserves it. “Thank you.”

We drive out to Kitsilano and we hit these little stands under the tent tops and I stop on the way at the bank and pulling out some money from my accounts there. I have more access to the money Dad had left me now and I’ve got it parceled out by his lawyers for as long as I’m in school plus the small arts scholarship helped.

I feel a bit guilty though, I never really spent money other than when I was partying. Mom and Kate made me kind of sensitive to all that spending.

It takes me awhile to get used to being there and I’m getting some looks some nice but others questioning, a few hostile. I find some bath and beauty stands and buy some things and even get a few groceries that look interesting, a bit of cheeses I liked the samples of, some two pints of honey, some berries and tomatoes. I hit the tables where there’s some homemade clothes and get a couple of nice denim skirts or I think they’re nice.

“That’ll look good on you Jamie.”

I turn and see Sasha with an older nice looking gentleman with a very sort of Sean Connery look to him. She’s…she’s Sasha…she looks like a model, in this light floral print dress sandals and a matching hat. She’s got that something that honestly just you don’t see in GG’s. there’s some boys that just make better girls than girls…just look online.

I did.

And I wanted that, I want to be them.

I want that look that guy’s giving Sasha.

“Thanks Sasha, you really think so?”

She holds up a few things. “You’re jumping into this really fast aren’t you?”

“This is me? I…I…”

“I know, you’re already as deep as you’re ever going to get. So how’s it feel then to break the surface and get some air?”

“Like I can breathe, I feel like myself even though I’ve never knew I was drowning.”

I buy the skirt and Sasha buy’s me a thin longer one that’s almost hippy like. “A present.” She kisses me lightly on the lips getting us some looks and a definite look from Tommy.

“He’s yours?” Sasha asked linking her arm in mine as we started browsing again.

“We…we...just hooked up last night, I mean…”

“You like him?” she looked back at Tommy who looked back down and through the table of used books that he was looking at when he saw her kiss me.

“A lot but I’m just confused.”

“Confused?”

“He’s a great guy, I barely know him and I can tell he’s a great guy.”

“But?”

“But, I’m just starting to know me, I don’t want to get lost in me and a plus one.”

“Jamie, you won’t. Just be honest with him, be him lover, be his friend. Henry the man I’m here with has been a lover and a friend for years now and it’s been a rewarding relationship.”

“I don’t want to hurt him…”

“That can’t be helped if it happens, we can’t control how other people feel. If this hurts you let him know, let it out, you feel like feeling something you’re allowed to.”

“God I’m still really new to all of this.”

“Yes, but you are.”

“Am I doing any of this right?”

“Well, you’re on you way, getting a start on your wardrobe is a good start. But one, get yourself a purse or two, some good lingerie, and work on your homespace. Make your place Jamie really your space. I’ll see you tomorrow evening for supper?”

“Okay…Supper?”

“Learning to cook and other things really helps you get there in your head.”

“Okay then, supper it is. Anything else?”

“Bring your books from your classes. I want to see what you’re taking.”

“Okay.”

We part ways with another kiss on the lips and there is something erotically zingy? About the feel of my lipstick on hers. I watch her slip her arm from mine into the older gentleman’s and they slip back off into the crowd.

“Who was she?”

I turn and look at Tommy. He doesn’t look mad just confused., nervous? He’s got his hands shoved into his pockets.

“That’s Sasha. She’s my friend, mentor, lover, catalyst…”

“That’s a lot of stuff. You said lover? Is that current?”

“Yes, it is.”

“Did she come at you about cheating?”

“I’m not cheating on her, or you.” I turn and look at him, reach out and slip my fingers into his front pockets where he’s got his hands.

“You and me are friends Tommy, the same as me and her. I love what’s happening with us. I love what we’re becoming. I don’t want to lose it but I don’t want to smother it either.”

“So like friends with benefits?”

“No…” I hit him a bit. “Nothing that crass, you mean more to me than that.”

“Well then, that’s good but…”

“But…”

“What if we’re seeing other people?”

“Then we’re seeing other people but if I don’t like her, I’m going to tell you.”

“Okay, the same here.”

“Good, I feel safe with you having my back.”

“A few other parts too.”

He smiles and kisses me and we get our things and start leaving with the crowd to the truck as the market’s closing. It’s a strange but a good start to a Sunday afternoon.