The doctor looked at the chart, "Well, you'll be glad to know, there's nothing wrong with your heart. You've just spent too long not eating right and sitting behind a desk. I'd say you should start with walking, stretching, warm up exercises, calisthenics, and only then try something more strenuous."

“The parody is the last refuge of the frustrated writer. Parodies are what you write when you are associate editor of the Harvard Lampoon. The greater the work of literature, the easier the parody. The step up from writing parodies is writing on the wall above urinals.” - Ernest Hemmingway.

“Turnabout is fair play.” — Angela Rasch

The following parody has many references to Cary Grant and his movies. . .above and beyond the obvious. Should you get bored with this story, or if the story runs against your grain. . .use it as a puzzle. . .try to pick out all those references.

This story also contains several un-attributed quotes. We apologize for trying to be someone or something we’re not. We suspect the nature of the story supports this decision.

Everyone wants to talk to Kissy. Rory wants a date, Armand wants a game, Marjorie wants....

A response to a writers’ challenge -- "A Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day."

One Portland Night
By Ellie Dauber © 2020

A magical protester gets some retribution from two agents from an unknown federal task force. Warning: This is a politically-biased story. I won’t argue the politics, but I would like to hear about what people thought of the story.

One Portland Night
By Ellie Dauber © 2020

Shaylah was standing at the edge of the crowd, about forty feet from the Portland federal courthouse, when the vans pulled up.

Ladies Invitational

This is a sequel to “Golfing with Mom.” That being said, a quick synopsis reveals that Danny, now called Didi, will be golfing in the Ladies Invitational golf tournament with her mom, Joanne, who was one of the best golfers. Didi’s new best friend and neighbor Sandy had introduced Danny to playing princess with her and now Didi can’t get enough girl time. Joanne told Didi she would support her decision to become her daughter for as long as she wanted.

Golfing with Mom

This started out as a short story about princesses, somehow I got lost.

I was the youngest of three siblings growing up. My older sisters Kat and Debbie were both older by a year or two. My mom Joanne, and dad John, were products of the war generation which made my siblings and me ‘baby boomers’. I grew up in a suburban neighborhood and had a middle-class neighborhood upbringing.

Our intrepid Wizard Du jour is sheltering in place with Murphy, the love of his life. Things are quiet, the physical and magical worlds have paused, and the loving couple can finally relax and get down to business (literally). Unfortunately for Harry, nothing is ever quiet, or simple.Contains mature themes, descriptions of sex, and transformations of all sorts. Spoilers for all Dresden Novels.

Our intrepid Wizard Du jour is sheltering in place with Murphy, the love of his life. Things are quiet, the physical and magical worlds have paused, and the loving couple can finally relax and get down to business (literally). Unfortunately for Harry, nothing is ever quiet, or simple.Updated Contains mature themes, descriptions of sex, and transformations of all sorts. spoilers for all Dresden Novels.

Please note this is purely fictional and is just a story.

I'll save or the boring stuff for after the story.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

I guess this is where I introduce myself. Hi, my names Charlie. I go to Brixton academy.

It’s Thanksgiving afternoon and I can’t believe how I’ve been transformed already. My entire body is permanently hairless from the face down. My real eyebrows are gone for good but they’ve been replaced by thin eyebrow tattoos with a nice feminine arch. My lips are also permanently tattooed a light pink so I have to wear lipstick at all times (as if I wouldn’t anyway). I still have no makeup or nail polish on but I do have nicely shaped fingernails thanks to the clear nail polish Judy has been letting me wear.

Two days after he painted the matching nails, Anna went out with some friends, so he had the house to himself for the day. He read for a while, watched tv, and played games, but he didn’t quite feel right. He didn’t want to paint his nails, they were still perfect, but something felt off. As he walked by his sister’s room on the way to the kitchen to make lunch, he stopped. The door was closed, and even though he knew it was fine to go in, he felt like something would happen if he did.

It was a hot day in the early days of the summer and Julian had nothing to do. So far, all he had done that day was sit in his room and watch TV. He was getting extremely bored. So when he heard a knock on his door, he responded quickly. It was his sister, Anna

“Hey Julian, you seem bored. Why don’t you come to my room? Let’s just talk for a bit.”

Julian, who was eager to do anything, agreed.

“This day really is boring,” said Julian. “It’s just too hot out.”

“It’s so frustrating! I wanted to go swimming, but it was even too hot for that!!”

Karl and the others were so engrossed in formulating their plans on how to get Karen's programming they never noticed the mounting excitement in the air around them.

Join Avery and follow along as the hard life starts to show a silver lining. Things may not be great at first but there is still hope. Dangerous hope. To have hope and lose it may perhaps be one of the worst things of all. Walls of protection firmly in place around Avery’s heart and despite the past hardships and a lot of personal issues. Avery finds people who care and finally starts to feel good about the future. Tainted future. Past experience and unplanned secrets threaten to unravel. Will hope shine or will dispare wall Avery away from the world for ever?

CHAPTER IX

David knew he was skating on thin ice with Comm Tech. He let his lab go while he went down to Karen's lab every night and back to the hospital to be with Karen through the day. This way he hoped no one would get suspicious about the duplicates coming out of Karen's lab. The only reason the board didn't fire him was they thought he was able to do what all the computer engineers couldn't. That was make models almost as good if not as good as Karen made.

Mike watched in amusement as Karl pulled the gun out thinking he was using it only to scare Karen. Then the shots rang out. "CHRIST, KARL. You didn't have to kill her. She couldn't hurt us."

"Listen stupid. If she pointed her finger at us, those goons Comm Tech has working as her bodyguards would as soon kill us as talk to us. This way nobody knows besides us. She sure ain't going to be doing any singing..., Now."

Karen knew she needed to have another talk with Henry. If he was playing like her agent now, he was in deep trouble. Taking care of her finances was one thing, but this was something entirely different. Maybe it wasn't Henry? Bob Kincaid would gain a lot if he could pull off this trick. Someone always seemed to be manipulating her life lately and she wasn't being consulted. It use to be so simple before the accident. All she had to do was go to work and do her job, nothing more, nothing less.

David reached across the seat and played with her hair. "Can we kiss and make up?"

"No! I’m still mad at you for doubting me." She folded her arms across her chest.

"It wasn't you I doubted and him I don't trust."

"Same thing. I designed him and he’s a part of me."

CHAPTER V

The days and weeks settled into some resemblance of order for David and Karen. By the end of the month, David had over two hundred mice with fuzzy feet. Karen laughed at him as she told him it would take very tiny clippers to shear them. She certainly didn't think the sheep industry should be worried yet. It would take a lot more mice than what David had to make one pair of mittens.