I’ve settled down since my encounter with Mom and the Devlins at the dress store. The morning I’m back at the Adams house and I’m ready to go to school, my court advocate calls me. Marie Tull says, “Your mother now has five charges against her and the Devlins have one more as well. I will need to meet with you soon.”

“I just want to go to school and have a normal day; am I free to do that?”

Marie says, “That would probably be an excellent idea. You have a good day. I don’t expect any trouble for you but it might be a good idea to always have someone with you this week.”

Rhonda comes over to me, “Elaine, I want you to ride with me to school, and I’ll give you a ride to the track. Coach plans to have you run the 800-meter run and the second leg of the 400-relay.”

I get text messages from Dane, but I only see him today when we pass in the hall. Being a senior and such a smart student we don’t share any classes. I can hear that he aches for what I’ve been through. He hopes to see and give me a hug before the track meet. His text, “I was to be working today, but will be at your track meet instead.”

Jamal stops me as I go to my last class, “Heads up,” he says. “I heard someone’s still angry with you. We’ll try to have your back.” Jamal plays on defense and was one of the players who stood against my Dad. His sister Thira is a year behind me and is also on the track team.

I do have fun showing pictures of my prom gown to others who are interested and a few who weren’t.

I am excited to get to our track and to begin stretching and getting ready for the meet. We have two visiting teams. I run a decent time in the 800-meter run: its 2.26, 2 minutes 24 seconds it is a decent run for the first of the season. That garners me 5th place overall. The truth is I saved some energy as I will be running in the 800 medley race.

It is in between races that Jamal spots a drone flying toward me, and he yells for me to quickly come to him. I get up from where I was and begin trotting toward him. Seemingly that makes it harder for the drone coming toward me.

I felt the pain of a burn on my ass just as Jamal reached me and pushed me to the side. He threw Thira’s track shoe at the drone barely grazing it. The drone was able to fly off, out over a field, before flying back toward town.

My track shorts have a messy singed area where my butt felt the pain. I am shaken by the idea that a drone with a laser had tried to hurt me. Thira and Karen are trying to tell me I was lucky, which upset me. Then Karen says, “If you hadn’t moved and run. It could have been your face or eyes.”

I now begin to cry as the first call of my next race is made over the speakers. It is then we realize what happened to me is away from the events and few had noticed. Karen is calling for her Mom, who’s in the stands. Thira reports to where I should be going, telling the coach what happened.

Several people including a policeman are now watching for the possibility of the drone or anyone being in the track area who shouldn’t be here. Coach Purcell takes time with me and I try to assure her I can run my leg of the race. Unfortunately, I am shaky as I get up and walk toward the starting area. Coach calls for Madi Miller, telling her she’s running in my place. Madi can run a decent 400-meter race; she’ll need to do the best she can.

Mrs. Hart and a medic get me to where they can look under by shorts discretely. There is a raised welt that is discolored, but it is not really injured. My panty, however, was partly burnt and adhering to my track shorts.

Before the track meet ends, the fans and participants are asked to report anything suspicious. Karen Hart’s younger cousin Pam is the only one to report anything. She told of a high school boy talking on his phone and leaving quickly. She knew his name, but others said she gave too little information to act upon. …Seemingly that was not fully true: Jack Trope was confronted and his phone was checked. It had a link to a boy, Alan, already suspended from the school.

Pam and I talked later and we shared hugs. I giggle lightly as Pam says, “I liked you more as Bryce. I think Karen found it easy to love Bryce.” I agreed, “I fancied Karen. I even loved helping her after she was hurt. We’re great friends but it’s not romantic.”

Pam says, “That’s good, girls need good friends. I don’t think many dates last when you’re our age.”

The week continues busy enough with school and track practice. Grams comes to the Adams house Friday and stays with me. The next day we leave from there with me wearing the blue and silver dress to the museum. First I have an appointment with Riana to have my hair done at 7:30 a.m.

Dane is to the museum by 9:00 and we’re there just before 10:00 a.m. when the museum opens. Everything at Riana’s got started late or took more time. But I am happy with how I look and the fuss made over me.

A more formal ceremony is to take place at 1:00 a.m. in the main lobby. Mrs. Withers on the museum’s board of directors compliments my dress and appearance. Then she asks if I will stay at Dane’s painting willing to speak on his behalf. I like the idea but thought Dane would be with me. He’s taken away to speak with others. It is nice to see Laura in her gown, her husband and his parents.

It is fun in speaking as every group seems to have people I know. Others who are interested in what I say. One man compliments me, “You seem to know the artist as well as have some friends of your own.” A woman says, “It takes a good looking woman to get my husband to look at art.” With the special weekend, there should be plenty of women walking around to help a man’s interest.

Saturday night the Adams are back early from their spring break. Ma Ruth helps with my hair and Rhonda and Jennifer help with my makeup and accessories. I swear I could get to like having a nice fuss made over me. Grams instructs me, again and again, to learn from my friends so I can do things for myself.

I do watch and learn, it is part of the fun for me being a girl. Some ideas Rhonda and others try on me, I would never do except they tried it on me first. My gown had not shown much cleave on Saturday, but come Sunday Rhonda has me wear a push-up bra with inserts. It is still within good taste, it just helps me in looking like a girl.

Grams questions the difference saying, “Today you can watch and see how few men look you in the eyes.”

There’s another good crowd today and today I have Dane with me at his painting. There is a CD playing on the hour of Dane’s presentation the day before. A Sunday evening broadcast team is here to record for broadcast tonight. Rhonda whispers for me to walk near the painting to step and sway my hips. They recorded the heads of the men who turn watching me.

Laura Martin jabs her husband Jack because he’s one of those turning his head. “Well at least you’re alive, but I thought you said I’m beautiful.” Jack tries to cover his actions and Laura laughs. “Don’t worry too much, just remember not to touch that candy.”

I am glad for Dane when the Pedersens arrive at 3:30 pm. His Dad, Joshua Pedersen says, “We usually don’t do much on Sunday. We made an exception for our son Dane. I am glad people like what he does; myself I don’t understand people taking time for such things.” He says, “That Frederik Tengnagel the famous Danish artist at least painted landscapes.”

Dane smiles as me, knowing I am upset and want to say something. Rhonda says, “I thought the Danish treasured great art.”

Mr. Pedersen says, “It is nice for the rich, they buy the art for little while others are paid the big money after the artist dies.”

Mrs. Withers calms herself before speaking. “We paid good money to purchase Dane’s painting. We hope with the recognition we give him he will receive scholarships and be paid even better money for his artwork.”

While North State University has bought one of his painting. They have asked Dane to paint another of this painting or approve a limited number of signed copies to be made.

I am glad when five o’clock comes and we’re free to leave. Mr. and Mrs. Pedersen are wanting to take Dane and me to dinner. But I am with my Grandmother, and Heather and her parents and the Adams and my friends are all wanting to go to dinner with us. I tell Dane, “You should go with your parents and I will go with Grams, the Adams, and friends.”

Dane says, “We should go where anyone can come and my parents can pay for us and your Grandmother.” Uncle Paul says he and his wife can pay for Heather, another sister and others. The Adams said Karen Hart and Madi and another friend will be with them. It is Ruth Adams that calls and finds a place that can seat as well as handle serving us.

It has been a long second day fitting into this pretty dress and heels. Mrs. Adams hands me a pair of ballet slippers as I’m ready to get into Dane’s car. Rhonda, Jennifer, and Karen fit into the back seat.

Dinner is nice enough, and the attention Dane is getting that is so wonderful to me. Between the attention, he’s getting and what his dad said earlier; it is not hard to see why he tends to be very humble.

Joshua Pedersen comments near the end of the meal, “Dane my son, I am impressed with your friends and the adults who think enough of you to be here. I heard your friend Rhonda tell a Miss Karen Hart that there were even many more yesterday. It causes me to be happy and proud for you.”

“We know you are an intelligent boy, but to have so many friends you are very fortunate. Even your cousin Marvin was not this well thought of.”

Dane chuckles and softly says, “Yes Father, it is nice to have such friends. And Elaine has bought a gown that is even more beautiful than the dress she wears today. I am wondering if you think it would be a good or silly thing if I painted a picture of her in her gown?”

Mrs. Marian Pedersen speaks up, “He would have thought it silly. Hopefully, he agrees with me that it would be a beautiful idea. A keepsake she could keep and treasure.”

Dane hugs and looks at me, “Elaine are you willing to sit or stand for me so I can do it?” Rhonda comes over and gives me a big hug and is joined by her sister Jennifer, Karen and my cousin Heather.

I whisper to Rhonda, “I am not sure I can stand in heels that long. I have 3½” heels for the prom. Do you think I can use 2” heels for the portrait?”

“Nothing less, but you’d be surprised what a girl can do in heels when she puts her mind to it.” I look at Rhonda’s Mom. Ma Adams says, “Yes, you could wear a 2 ½” inch heels. Though like Rhonda says, being a girl you will find a way to do what you want to do.”

I say, “You think any girl would wear the higher heels.”

Jennifer says, “No, but you’re becoming an attractive girly girl, like me. I think it will be good practice for wearing your heels come prom-night.” The truth is I’ve been staying away from being more girly, worried it would be inviting more trouble.

Grams and I stay at the Adams tonight, but I have my doctor and my counseling appointments tomorrow. I take Grams with me to the dining room to talk. “Grandma, can I talk seriously with you?”

Grams says, “Grandma is it, it must be serious. Yes, we can talk. What concerns you?”

“I’m tired of all the trouble that seems to follow me. I was wondering if it would be okay to go to Heather’s high school next year.” Grams reaches over to give me a hug. She knows how important the Adams, and my friends here are to me.

There’s a knock at the entrance to the dining room, Ma Adams is there. “Is there a problem I can help with or should I be leaving you two alone?” Grams looks at me knowing Mrs. Adams opinion is often helpful.

Grams says, “Yes, we’re just in the talking stage but it would be good to have you in on this as well.”

Grams pauses hoping I will start. I say, “I don’t want to hurt feelings, I like it here. But I am tired of having to look around worrying someone else wants to attack me.” Grams and Ma Adams remain quiet. “I am thinking about living with my Grams and going to school at my cousin’s school next year.”

Grams quickly says, “Yes you can.” I know, however, there was a ‘but’ she wants to add.

Mrs. Adams says, “Yes, of course, you can. I would just encourage you to wait until after your prom. Dane and Rhonda will be graduating and you’ll begin looking at things like a senior.”

I say, “I can do that but how do you think that might change things?”

Ma Adams says, “You’re growing and maturing as a girl. The senior year is very important to girls. Beside your cousin Heather, most girls in your grade at Stronghold will probably be celebrating with the friends they already have and applying to colleges or whatever they’re doing next. Making new friends they won’t know long, well that won’t be high on their list.”

I hadn’t thought through things like that, but maybe just getting out from under things would need to be enough. Other students do it; like them, I have to do it.

Finally, I say, “Okay, I won’t decide anything now. I’ll wait until after the prom. I am however going to ask my guidance counselor and do what I can. I will even plan out what I’d be taking next year at both schools.”

Grams says, “You should also be thinking about college and what you’d like to do with your life.”

Monday my first appointment is with Dr. Anne Akers. I decide to dress a little more girly and see if she says anything. She does, “Elaine, it is good to see you. Is this a new look or is it just the first time you dressed like this in coming to see me?”

“I was hoping you would notice. I like dressing like this but I usually don’t. I’m afraid of offending someone. It is hard for someone others thought was a boy to dress like this?”

Dr. Anne says, “How do you see it as being hard?”

“When I first sought to be visible as Elaine, I wasn’t experienced with wearing my clothes and makeup. I was more likely to be seen as a boy in a dress. That is not who I am damn it!”

Anne asks, “Where did that anger come from Elaine? Please tell me more.”

“I’m sorry, but it’s hard at times. I try to be good for everyone but it’s hard. People think I should be used to people being mean or my mother doing spiteful things. Well, I’m now seventeen, and most girls my age don’t have the pressure of trying to be good even when feeling lousy.”

Anne asks, “Who told you, you had to please everyone and act like you’re doing well?”

“You’re going to tell me no one can do that. That it is my choice or something like that.” I sit back in the chair and kick up a leg to cross it, not worrying if it’s proper or not.

Anne doesn’t correct me or ask me to sit upright. Instead, she says, “I am glad to feel comfortable being yourself with me.”

I get angry, “I didn’t do it to feel comfortable. It’s stupid of a girl to sit like this, except to be defiant.” I move to sit casually up a little more, neither formal nor rebelliously.

I tell Dr. Akers of the weekend, the dress I wore and my time with Dane and friends. I was surprised when she told me she was there. “But, I didn’t see you there?”

“Elaine, I didn’t want to chance to put you in an awkward position. I saw your friend’s painting when you left it for the ceremony. I thought he’s both very talented and thoughtful. I also thought the girl on his arm was quite attractive and very poised for attending such an event like that.”

“Thank you, I appreciate you came and were sensitive. Was that what you text me about?” She indicated it was. I wanted to apologize as it was now obvious I hadn’t read it.

She asks, “How are you and your parents doing since your father is out of his program?”

My temper begins to come back, “I am really pissed with my Mom and others who try to hurt me. It hurts a lot more when my own Mother does it. You would think I’d get to the point of not caring. Did you hear she and her friends wanted to hurt me or ruin a prom-dress?” I begin to cry. When I try to stop myself I cry even harder.

Dr. Anne hands me a box of tissue. I catch myself thinking, ‘She thinks I’m going to cry like a girl.’ The thought is silly, ‘I am a girl.’ But I had bought into the notion being a girl was being weak. I half giggle and then relax and let myself cry. I smile at Dr. Akers and move to squat next to her and hope she doesn’t push me away. She stands instead and lets me hug her.

When I regained my composure it is near the end of my session. I apologize for wasting my time with her. She replied, “I thought it was a well spent time. But if you would want to talk more about it. You could ask the woman at the desk to reschedule you in for next week at my request.”

Grams and I get some lunch as I have a follow-up appointment with Dr. Owens. Grams also approve my appointment with Dr. Akers for again next week.

I find myself more and more talking to Grams like she’s the mom I wish I had. She asks, “What did Dr. Akers think of your wanting to change schools and living with me full time?”

I begin to curse and catch myself, “Mom, Grams…” I want to cry but I just say, “We didn’t even get to that. I cried too much of the time. I think Dr. Akers thought my crying in front of her was good.”

Grams asks the obvious, “Well was it good that you cried and let it out?”

“I didn’t think so at first, but yes, it was good. I’m glad I cried, is that what you want me to say!” I tell Grams, “When I about called you Mom; I didn’t mean that you’re like her. You’re like the Mom I wish I had. Sometimes I wish you were my Mom. I get jealous at Rhonda and Jennifer that they have a good mom. You’d be surprised, but I’m not the only one who’s not blessed with good parents.”

“I use to make fun of kids like the Adams because they seemed to depend on their parents too much. I really was angry at them ‘cause I didn’t have parents like ‘em.”

Dr. Owens says, “You’re female hormone level is getting better. I can tell your own production of those hormones is stronger. If you want I will ask the court to approve blocking or even surgically remove the source of your testosterone production.”

“But I thought they wouldn’t approve anything like that at least until I’m eighteen or older?”

Dr. Patti says, “I think I can make a good case that it is a health issue not to make this change more permanent now…”

To be continued…