Laura takes me further aside, “Elaine something tells me you haven’t shared this even with Dr. Akers.” She is then silent waiting for me to respond, instead of asking me if she’s right.

I hesitated but finally confess, “I was afraid that it would be used against me. My mother said once that I needed to be protected against myself. I tried to be strong, stronger and harder than she is.”

Laura says, “Stronger doesn’t need to mean being harder, especially harder on yourself. I think you’ve shown your strength in weathering so much that has come against you. Your strength also has shown your ability to grow and blossom Elaine. Please do not be afraid of that. You are a warm caring person.”

I hesitate, “But my feelings leave me vulnerable. It is like I love them, feeling warm and loved inside. But like with Karen and Staci and now with Dane, I am not ready to commit and give him all my love.”

Laura asks, “Is Dane pushing you to love him like that?”

I say, “Not in so many words, but isn’t that how it is to be?”

Laura hugs me again, whispering in my ear, “Do you know how many boyfriends and other guys I thought I loved? Then there were times I gathered with my girlfriends and we talk about who’s a hunk, whose crush-worthy. I was glad I didn't give myself to as many as I considered.”

Laura’s touching my hands, she asks, “Will you call me if you ever feel so down that you think you don’t want to live?”

I say, “I’m willing to call you if it gets to that. I like how you explain things. I can use help like that. I’m happy being Elaine, but there will probably be more times I’m down. I need more friends like you.”

Laura and I hug, knowing it is time to get back to the others. I'm thankful and ask her to let me know when her baby is born.

Dave and Doris Martin, Laura’s in-laws, announce they’ve agreed to buy Dane’s “Trees” painting for $5,000 for him and another $1,000 donation to the museum. They will loan it to the museum for now as they need to make a proper setting to display it at their home. They also need to ensure it and properly secure their home to display it there.

I give Dane a big hug in congratulations, but now I’m wondering about paying for his portrait of me. I love the painting, but I worry if I will want it always hanging around or how I can afford to buy it.

Dane asks, “Will you mind if I allow this to be displayed at the school until the prom? I will give it to you after then.”

Come Monday, Marie Tull my court advocate hears from Judge Hewitt in preparation for our court appearance the next day. She gives me a call. I ask, “Is it possible to begin talking about safe visits with one or both of my parents. I especially want the freedom to see and phone my sister anytime I’d like.”

Marie says, “I’ve talked to their lawyer and I think that would be good at least with your father to move in that direction, but it won’t be immediate. Your mother has her own court appearance in front of her, and I’m not convinced you really want to see her yet.”

I ask, “Would it be possible to ask that court to consider suspending any court sentence they, the couple and my mother, might be given?”

Ms. Tull changes the tone of her voice, “We can talk about that after you’re out of school later today. I do think all three of them need somehow to be held responsible for what they did and at least on probation They also need to work through their issues. And if I read you correctly, you are still quite afraid. I have to wonder why you would want to do all of this so soon.” She’s right, but I want to prove how strong I can be.

It is as lunch is ending for me that Sarah tells me, “Mom and Dad might be separating for now. Dad strongly wants to re-establish a healthy relationship with you. Plus, I think he’s feeling pressure from Mom about his not drinking at all.

Sara, “Mom thinks Dad can be a social drinker. If he doesn’t, she’s afraid they’ll lose a lot of friends.” Sara agrees with me, ‘If they stop being friends because dad stops drinking they’re not much as friends.’

“I think Mom’s accepting that you’re a girl. She’s now upset because of what others might think of her.”

I ask, “It sounds like Mom might hold that against me. The truth is I’m hesitant about ever coming home. I like that Dad seems to be changing. But it would still scare me to even be around him, especially if he and I were to be alone.” I say, “It is an even scarier thought about being around Mom, but I believe I need to work toward both possibilities.”

Karen and Jennifer both have texts asking if I have my salon appointment set for the prom. It is a bit of a sensitive subject for me. Though Grams is a distance I feel that is where I should be getting ready, dressed and picked up for prom. Dane is nice enough to agree to do whatever I want.

Rhonda thinking about it likes my idea too. It is her senior prom and while it will be special for Jennifer, Karen and I to share our preparation time. It is not quite the same for Rhonda.

Heather has her prom the same night and she and I are planning to go to the same salon. I’m pretty sure Heather even has our appointments already scheduled. Dane will pick me up at my Grams around three o’clock on the day of the prom. Some pictures will be taken of us there at Grams and then Dane will take me to his house. We should be ready to attend the promenade ahead of the prom. Just thinking of it all excites me.

Dad has even called saying, he’d be looking for me as well as Sara at the promenade. It will be the first time he has attended such an event for either of us. I expect Mom will be there though she is still under a restraint order from being near me. Police Lieutenant Robinson says he or another officer will be watching for me and my safety.

My School counselor Artis Brook calls me to her office, “Elaine have you decided for sure if you are coming here for your senior year of high school or transferring to Stronghold?” I have put off this decision. It’s one I need to make with Grams.

“Ms. Brook that decision is filled with emotions so I am not even going to even think about it this week.”

Ms. Brook is unwilling to sign my pass back to class. She says, “This decision should have been made before. I need to get a decision from you; there are people insisting to know.”

I say, “People transfer in during the summer, so why or who is pressing for me to make a decision. If you need a decision. I’ll say I’m going to be here, but I really don’t know. Give me what I have to sign and let’s be done with it.”

Ms. Brook says, “It’s a bit more complicated than that. We’ll need to figure out your schedule and you could be taking some college classes or a work-study program. We need to know if you’ll be living back with your parents, or someplace else. If not and the Adams have not invited you to stay there; it would appear your grandma would need to rent a place here.”

“You, someone, wanted me to make a decision and I did. It is either that or we wait.” With that I turn and leave her office, hopefully, I don’t get stopped without a pass. The Vice Principal is coming down the hall so I go into a girl’s room. Another girl is walking to the sink to wash her hands and check herself in the mirror. Debra a senior, “Elaine, I see you’re hiding or avoiding someone. It is good to see you. Right now you seem more like Bryce trying to avoid trouble.” She gives a light laugh and smiles, “It seems like people are out to make it harder on you. Wait a minute and I’ll check to see if the hallway is clear.”

What she says has me wondering. Debra and I aren’t close, but she seems to know things have become more difficult for me. She checks the hallway and comes back. “The Vice-Principal is talking to a counselor. How about I take your ponytail out and brush and change your hairstyle. Take your blouse out of your skirt and either let it hang down or tie it in a knot on the side. I swear I can often tell who’s down the hallway by their silhouette.” She does my hair and I let my blouse hang loosely. She even uses two hair clips from her purse. We leave the restroom walking away from the people in the hall.

I say, “Thanks,” when we come to my classroom.

Come lunchtime I ask Karen and friends, “Do you think school people are watching me or want me out of here?”

Carrie and Karen both say, “Dah, is that a real question?” Carrie continues, “Some people don’t like that you’ve changed and others dislike that the school has made adjustments. While the changes help other people who get hassled or bullied. It’s not just about you.

“The school has put up with these things but they don’t like being pressured to change... You know change killed the dinosaurs, but they’re some still alive in our school.” I and everyone around the table laugh and others turn in our direction. We turn and wave to the others, continuing to laugh at that.

Principal Mercer comes over to talk with us, “Miss Royce, I heard you might have been in the hallway without a pass.” She lifts a finger, knowing I and others want to say something back. She says, “Please try to avoid those things. I think you have done exceedingly well in adjusting to your changes. It has been hard on some, yet helpful overall. Please know my office is open to you and your friends here. Karen and Jennifer, I think your helping Elaine has been especially important. This isn’t about one person, it is making the school a warmer place to be. Next September what’s different now will hopefully be the new normal.”

Carrie says, “That would not have happened with the old principal.”

It is Thursday, I am back to running track though it might be next year before I’m running in meets again. I run in practice against Rhonda and later with Travis. I strain to keep up but know I am getting back into better shape. I hear a car horn from the parking lot and its Grams. I should shower, but they’re not open to me.

It is nice to get back home to Grams’ and take a shower. Heather, Aunt Kenda, and Uncle Paul stop, bringing pizza for supper. Aunt Kenda looks over my gown and accessories. Aunt Kenda notices a blemish on my shoes and easily takes care of it. I had worn my earrings but there are other things that are not where they should be. She hands me a women’s hanky that looks small and delicate.

I ask, “What if I need it, but I’m away from my purse?”

Heather says, “You just want to hide it without pushing the push-up in your bra out of the way.” She has a handkerchief that she demonstrates with. She sees me looking at my uncle. “If you discretely turn or just casually do it. The guy won’t even notice unless he has a fixation on your breasts.”

I am so thankful to have family and friends helping me. It adds to the fun I’m having. Heather invites me to stay over with her. Instead, I invite her to stay with me, saying, “I want to be with Grams more than I have been.” Heather agrees plus she already has some clothes here. My boyhood is now small and hardly ever reacts to anything. It will not be a problem. Tomorrow I will have little trouble attaching it to my vagina gaff.

Heather took the first bubble bath and I’m in visiting with her. She does the same as each helps to wash the back of the other. We’re ready for bed just after 10 pm. but don’t go to bed until the nightly news is over at 11:30.

Grams has been documenting tonight with pictures and begins the morning by doing the same. She tells us, she did the same for my mom and Aunt Julie; she even got out a scrapbook to prove it. Heather and I are both really happy to have our prom gowns and not theirs. We’re both wearing work-out pants, a zip down shell top. The morning is cool but luckily our appointments are for 10:00. Grams has bought be a second pair of earrings for tonight. They are a radiant blue that will go nicely with my gown and Dane’s tuxedo.

I notice my breasts appear to be among the smallest when we go to the salon. I am tickled enough that my girls have grown as much as they have and will be noticeable. With my padded bra and help, I will appear to have some cleavage which pleases me.

Once again Riana is my stylist and beautician. I couldn’t be happier. Heather tells Riana, but Riana checks with me before implementing any change of plans. Heather wants Riana to include highlights in my hair, including the tips. It was not until she showed me a photo of my painting that I realize Dane had already painted it into my painting.

Heather says, “Rhonda and Jennifer noticed it in the painting. I’m a bit skeptical of you saying you hadn’t noticed.” But it’s the truth. I guess I reap the rewards of doubts from the many half-truths I told as Bryce.

When Riana washes my hair; we’re both happily surprised by its length and body. She says eventually when my hair gets long enough, she will need to cut it drastically. If one looks closely, my hair since January is thicker and richer. She will work her magic so it does not show in my hair-style for the prom tonight. There is so much more she can do now, than the first time. I enjoy watching in the mirror. Heather gives me a hard time, “Elaine you’re acting like a young girl.”

I respond, “You’re missing out because you aren’t seeing it as special.” Heather and I argue if that is true or not. I ask, “Riana, when are you going to pierce my ears again so I can wear two sets of earrings.”

She says, “I am waiting until after your perm is set under the dryer. I don’t want you complaining if I did it now.” She says, "It is hot enough under the dryer without the earrings picking up the heat and burning while you're under the dryer." I guess that heat helps to set not only the permanent but the highlighting in my hair. They begin my pedicure while I’m under the dryer.

“Oouu wee!” Feet aren’t the prettiest part of the body but watching my feet come through this pedicure, they are so much prettier than they were, they do look pretty now. I am tickled to see girls’ feet at the end of my legs. I am glad I have open toe shoes, but I’m wishing I had gone with the shoes that had more delicate straps of leather that were even more feminine.

Once I’m out from under the dryer, I am back in Riana’s chair. This is even more fantastic to watch my hair take shape as she takes off the metal strips, unrolls my hair form the rollers and brushes them out. Riana notices my legs squeezing together and asks, “Do you need to use the toilet?”

I giggle, “I don’t need to go that badly, it’s just that I am getting excited and…”

“Enough said Elaine, I will have you go to the bathroom, but do not take your time. Do you need another pad?” I did not answer her question instead I take my purse, which has what I need in it.

I can tell that the change in my hormones is changing my emotions. Both Travis and Dane have said that must be upsetting for me. My thought is quite the opposite that I am way more in touch with my feelings now. Yes, the swing of emotions takes some getting used to. I, however, think I am way better off than Dane and Bryce. The only thing Bryce felt more was anger. I’m angry with my Dad, Mom and a number of other people as Elaine. But as Dr. Anne says, “I shouldn’t let those feelings consume me.” I’m not sure if I can work through them like she says I will, but I’ll give it a try.

If anything my hair is turning out even better than I dreamed. Now my fingernails are being done. Riana has marked my ears for their piercing. After both new earrings are in I insist on seeing myself in the mirror with them. They are beautiful, but as Heather says they’ll be spectacular when I’m all dressed in my gown. The trip back to Gram’s finds me ready to get dressed. I eat a sandwich and drink some water as Grams insists and I’m ready.

The silk and the lace of the stockings are to die for. I’m making all the sounds that I thought were funny last year. Then Sara was ecstatic and I thought she was exaggerating. This year I am into all the joy of being Elaine. My panty and bra set looks wonderful; Grams will save that photo for me only. Tiffany Reed has come help to me with my heels, necklace, bracelet, and a ring Grams says belonged to her Mom. The ring has been to the jewelers and is now brilliant once again.

Finally, Dane is here; his Dad drove Dane and then drives the two of us back to their house. More pictures and I feel like the luckiest girl. Dane is more handsome than I imagined. His Grandmother comes over to me and gives me a hug and kiss. “You are making my Grandson very happy, by his having such a beautiful young woman on his arm.” It is especially meaningful as his mother appears to be wishing I was someone else.

Dane drives his car to the promenade, and he’s extra excited because he has received acceptance into Columbia University’s fine arts program. I give him an extra big kiss. His being in New York City sounds exciting.

I ask him if they saw my painting and what they thought of it. He says, “They encourage me to keep a portfolio of all my work, but not to bring in to the university. Other students usually discount artwork done from while we’re in high school.” I’m disappointed they’d discount what they haven’t seen. “I wonder how many of them have has a special showing at an important museum?”

Truth is our museum would not be seen as important in comparison to those in New York City.

Fortunately, we get to the high school and we’re seventh in line for those now going into the promenade. Some Junior Dads are going to drive the cars around to a parking area. Dane stops his car and comes around to open the door for me. Dane’s parents, Grams and our families are there to greet us. I am especially moved when Mrs. Robinson, an older neighbor, calls out my name. Neighbors, friends, and teachers from when I grew up are cheering for me by name, ‘Elaine’, ‘way to go girl’, ‘That’s our girl!’ No, it is not my mother but yes for Ma Adams.

Once everyone is inside, we see the gym beautifully decorated; the theme is the “Times of Your Life.” Pictures of seniors at different times in their lives are displayed. Some as pictures that have been enlarged and others displayed as images on various screens. No sooner do I get Dane to look at his picture and it’s gone.

Dane picks me up and twirls me around, saying, “You know, I wasn’t very noticed until you came into my life.” I give him a kiss saying, “That’s not true, your art has decorated the halls of the school and even became shirts and posters for the school.”

He says, “That’s my art, but they didn’t recognize me. They had a Trivia night back in January and most didn’t associate me with anything. Now they not only recognize my artwork, they know what I look like. Do you know how sad it is when they mention your name and others answer who cares?”

“Yes, I know, but that’s why special friends are important. Rhonda always thought you were special.”

He smiles, “Thankfully she treats everyone special.”

My Dad kept his distance but he has his zoom lens on his camera. I could tell by the smile on this face that he’s happy with me. He even gets one of Sara and me together. Mom is behind him and a security person is nearby. She looks like she might be happy to see me, but I am unwilling to get close enough to ask her.

Grams was with Sara around my parents and she whispered to me later, “I think the ice is thawing… but it might crack my daughter’s face.” I can’t help but giggle.

Ma Adams tells Grams, though I didn’t hear it until later, “We have a good idea about next year.”

Dane takes me out to eat with friends and then we come back to the school after 9:00 pm. for the formal prom.

After the Prom, a lot of kids either drive into New York City, down to the shore or some other getaway spot. Some are soon home, others are out until three and those of us who went to the shore or NYC are out all night. I am to share a room down the shore with Rhonda and two other girls. But Travis and Dane are soon in with us and the girls are with the other guys.

I am now scared as they’re two beds and Rhonda’s getting cozy with Travis. Rhonda and I help each other out of our gowns. She grabs me and we go into the bathroom and she has something to change into. It is small enough not to be much, but Rhonda hands me part of it. It is rather sexy and with my gaff hides some and shows off my perky breasts.

There is a slow song playing and Rhonda says that is our cue. Travis takes Rhonda in his arms and I’m soon in Dane’s. I notice Dane’s aroused as we dance, thankfully my lower extremities are not, though my breasts tingle as Dane rubs up against me. The lights go off and each couple is soon going under the covers of a different bed.

There is a good fifteen to thirty minutes of kissing and hugs. Dane brushes my breasts and the top of my negligee lifts away. He’s caressing my nipples and I am excited. I fondle him, I like how big and long he’s getting. I am working up the courage to kiss him there.

We hear Travis and Rhonda and are pretty sure they are going all the way in making out. Dane reaches for the side table, saying, “I hope you don’t mind but I want to make love to you?” I am not sure what he’s going to do, but he’s pulling my panty down. His hand is on my butt and finally, he’s using two fingers to spread the gel over my opening.

I thought when this is done, the person is to use one and then two fingers to push in and open me up, stretching a little. Dane did very little of that and he’s getting behind me. I turn and reach for his gel and then his cock. It may have been spit on. I fondle him again, spreading the gel I even kiss his head encouraging it to become rock hard.

Finally, I turn around and have a pillow under my belly as I spread legs. I reach behind helping to guide him to me. He pushes but barely presses the opening. I whisper, “You need to push hard enough to come into me.” The second time he’s almost there but moves back. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

“It won’t hurt that much. I want you.” I never understood in police and hospital programs when they say ‘ There are signs of bruising.’

I tell Dane, “Please push hard enough, you were just about into me. I really want you.” I had decided I wanted him enough and this time when he pushed he entered me and actually penetrated at least a couple of inches. I’m sure more gel in me would have made it easier and hurt less. I moan and force myself to say “Thanks, I love it.” He's pushing in and out, it helps in lubricating me and I too am now enjoying it. I guess the sensation I am feeling is from my prostate being rubbed by his him rubbing it. And the first time he cums in me the joy is ecstatic for both of us.

It is about an hour later when Dane wants me again and this time we take the time to prepare both of us. I curl up and bring my knees high until he is in me. We are working together physically and emotionally; the mood is way better as are the results. Dane is voicing his joy much more and as he convulses and gushes into me. He hits paradise as he describes it. I do have a feeling of bliss that I cannot describe.

I am lying under Dane and I look over to Rhonda and she smiles as our eyes meet each other. She mouths some words, ‘Way to go Elaine.’ I say, “Thanks.” Dane has shrunk and now slips out of me and we fall asleep.

The way I walk into the shower in the morning shows I’m hurting. The shower and a vaginal cream help enough that I can walk easily enough go to breakfast. Everyone is sleep deprived. The guys are crazy enough to go and dive into the cold ocean water. We’re cold enough with a blanket and towels around us as we watch them. They hug us with their cold wet bodies when they come back.

I call Grams to tell her I am alright and eating breakfast at the ocean with Dane, Rhonda, and others. I tell her about the prom but stop at saying it is nice to see the ocean with Dane. Rhonda has called and talked to her mom and says hello from me. She tells her Mom we shared our bedroom but doesn’t say more than we’re okay.

Her Mom trips her up as they’re ready to say good-bye, saying, “So do you think Elaine feels like a woman now?”

Rhonda giggles and says, “Yes, she enjoyed herself.” It was only after the call was over that Rhonda realized what she did.

I was at first embarrassed but after thinking and Rhonda and I talking, we decided it was best this way. I needed to talk with someone and I felt better talking with Ma Adams than Grams.

Story conclusion to come next…