Previously: Soon I am lying back against Grams, and Grams asks the others to kneel around me. “Don’t be afraid, I’m told this happening is an unusual surprise… Elaine please know this is who you are… There is a frustration giving way to a long sought joy. In simple words, you’ve touched Rhonda. You are friends; the friend you have long wanted to be another girl.”

Now: Rhonda brings my hand back to her breast and Heather brings my other hand to my breast. Heather says, “You’re like any other girl, but we’re all different. I hope Elaine is excited about going to school…”

Elaine wakes early in the midst of a covey of girls in her room, two of them sharing the bed with her. She sits up in bed running her fingers and hands through her hair, until she locates the pins holding it in place. Stretching and moving her legs around until she can scoot out of bed and stand beside it. After taking care of things, she makes her way to Grandma’s kitchen. Grandma is pouring a cup of tea that she brings to Elaine.

Heather’s hello, reminds her that her cousin also spent the night. Heather suggests, “If you’re open we can go over to the ice arena. Some guys either have a hockey game today or practice at 11:00; I can’t remember which one of them you seemed to fancy.”

“Um, I am having trouble getting my mind around that this is real. You're asking me to go watch boys playing hockey.”

Heather says, “I am not sure whether you like boys or not, but you liked them looking at you when we were shopping yesterday.”

I protest, “No I didn’t! I just wasn’t use to them watching us.” Heather stares at me like she didn’t believe me. I finally give in, “Okay, I did like them looking. It was the first time I could relax and enjoy someone looking at me.”

I hear a voice behind me, it’s Rhonda. ”I am glad you acknowledged that as I didn’t want to side against you. Heather, any chance you know who the guy was with the dark brown hair? I think that is the one that Elaine was eyeing the most.”

Heather says, “I’m not sure, but I got a text from one of them, Matt. He said, they’d be at the skating rink at 11:00 a.m. I’m to let them know if we’re coming.”

Rhonda says, “This reminds me Elaine. Max Sievers said hello and hopes you will come back to our school. He told me he’d have your back, especially if you’re Elaine. What does he mean about ‘having your back’?”

Grams encourages us to eat a good breakfast and to be careful when we go to the ice arena. Grams tells Rhonda, “It’s a guy thing, military and now sports, meaning he’ll be watching out for her even when she’s not looking. Am I right Bryce?”

“Yes Grams, but he knew the message would be to Elaine. We’ve text since I’ve been here.”

Jennifer is now in the kitchen, “Is Max someone you’d date Elaine. Rhonda says, ‘Like with me any date will undergo close scrutiny by her. I think if anyone would pass our mom’s inspection Max is one who’s likely to pass.”

I try to refrain from any expression, “I’m not saying anything about him nor field a bunch of questions like it.”

I was not thinking when we dressed to go to the ice arena. While it’s cold outside, I decided I could handle the cold for a short while until I got inside the skating arena. I wore a shorter skirt and true to my thought I easily survived going outside to get there. What I hadn't thought of was the ice arena was kept cold to maintain the ice.

Mom Adams, had sent with Rhonda a pair of silver gray tights. Rhonda whispered, “Mom sent this when she saw you’re wearing a skirt. It’s just in case you decide to skate.”

My eyes widen as I am already cold and I hadn’t heard anything about the possibility of skating. “Tights, really? Some tights can be scratchy and uncomfortable, but I need to be warmer.”

Rhonda echoes, “Elaine, you should know my Mom would not shackle you with bad tights. She thought when you didn’t” I could hear in her voice that she understood that I’m growing as a girl. I place the tights into my purse, but do not run off to the girls’ room to put them on.

I want to be warmer, but I feel so much like a little girl. I don’t want to be a little girl in Rhonda’s eyes. I’m sixteen, I want to be an equal with Rhonda and others.

Jennifer nudges me from the other side, “Don’t look sad Elaine, you’re not being looked down on. You know my Mom just wants to be supportive of you. Before she gave you the tights, she already had your interest at heart. I think your tights will be fashionable and comfortable. She could have called them leggings.” Jenn gently squeezes my hand.

I smiled, “Will you go with me to the restroom to put them on.” Jennifer took my hand only long enough to get us started towards the girls’ locker-room.

I like how the silver blue shows off my legs. Tyler, the boy I noticed last night, seems to be noticing me today. “Wow,” he quietly says to himself. “Elaine is it? I’m sorry if I embarrass you. But I saw you earlier and already thought you were attractive. Now your leggings make your legs stand out and you look beautiful.”

Tyler pauses, “If this means you’re planning to skate later could I be your partner?”

I say, “I put the leggings on to keep warm. I didn’t realize the arena would be kept so cold. I am not much of a skater. You wouldn't want to be straddled with someone like me. I saw how good of a skater you are.”

Tyler says, “So you noticed me that good. I think I would enjoy helping you to skate better and enjoy getting to know you.”

Rhonda comes over, “So are you two open to team up in skating?”

Tyler says, “We’re halfway there; I'm willing and I hope she’ll be willing too.”

Rhonda looks over to me, “I thought you indicated that it was Tyler that you found attractive. So what would be your problem in skating with him?”

She turns to Tyler, “Do you think we can get access to the rental skates. I’m not sure with heavy socks if she’ll need 8s or eight and a half size skates.”

Bryce ego arises and begins to feel bad that he only wears such small skates. Then a big smile comes to my face as my feet are quite normal for most girls.

We only had a half hour to skate, but it was quite enjoyable. Tyler had kept on his hockey skates but he had no trouble doing anything including helping me to skate. Once, I began to fall and Tyler helped me to regain my balance. As the music ended, Tyler was holding me from behind. He caused me to twirl and the next thing I knew we were face to face. Our eyes kept contact with each other until I close mine as Tyler moves to kiss me. His lips are nice and tender. Though the kiss is too short I enjoy it very much. I can see that Tyler is thinking something and I ask what it is.

Tyler looks around and then we step away from others. He works up the courage and finally asks, “Someone said you use to be a boy. Well, I thought you're too pretty to have been a boy and your lips indicate that is impossible. I just wondered why anyone would say that.”

Now it is me who is working up the nerve to say what I need to tell him. “Tyler, I think others say that because my body is androgynous but my father had force me to act like a guy. I like and prefer being me, Elaine. I hope that doesn’t freak you out.”

Tyler says, “No” but his expression is that of a person who is now unsure. He asks and I explain about being androgynous. He doesn’t walk away but the next half hour feels awkward. It was later in the evening Tyler texts me. “I hope I wasn’t rude. My mom and cousin explained things to me. Mom indicated that there would be no problem in just walking away and finding another girlfriend. My cousin Stacie asks, “Why I like you?”

“I hear that you will be around some weekends. I think I would still like to go out on a date sometime as long as you look very girly.”

I had mixed feelings as we ended our text conversation.

I’m happy to have Monday with Grams and getting my things packed to live with the Adams during the week. I have one pretty dress and two outfits that stay in my room at Grams’. I am to bring all my dirty clothes home, but with Mrs. Adams help that hopefully doesn’t happen.

We arrive at the Adams house around ten in the morning; Rhonda and Jennifer are already at school. That gives Grams, Ruth Adams and me a chance to visit and get my clothes sorted in my room.

I am surprised when Jennifer and Rhonda come bouncing into the house after school. They dropped what little school stuff they had. Rhonda changes her top and Jennifer puts on a cute pair of designer jeans and another blouse. The jeans looked like a nice fitting pair of gloves showing every curve and movement; I’m jealous. They are pulling me toward the door to go to a school hangout, The Bench.

I dug in my heels and said, “Not like this, please.” I rush to my room and change into a skirt that is a bit more fashionable and a top that looks more appropriate for my first showing back.

Rhonda says, “That’s nice, if they don’t see the difference Elaine makes they're blind.” We are soon to The Bench. It is good to see Hadley, Max and Karen again. Tiffany, Mariah and Jaz, Rhonda’s friends are there as well. Either something else is happening or word must have been out I’m back. Because the place is so full that people are sitting on the benches where people are usually waiting for a table to sit at. Trevor and his sidekick Spike are there so I know it is not a pure welcome home party. A paper airplane flew from Trevor’s direction. It whizzes past my head but Cece picks it up, reads something and brings it over to me. There’s a note, “Sissy boy is not welcome. Go back to your closet little tramp.” I can’t help but laugh at Trevor’s communication and its spelling. It’s apparent that my laughter is not liked by Trevor, Spike or a girl with them. I recognized her, but her being in eighth or ninth grade I didn’t know her name.

We’re there a good forty minutes when Karen says we need to get going. There is a clothing store not far away that we call the ‘spirit shop’. It’s the first time I get a school jersey designed to for a girl. While they’re embroidering Elaine over the back above my number 3; I begin looking at cross trainers athletic shoes that I’ll need to school and romping around.

Bryce worried much less about how things looked, nor did he/I like spending much shopping. I definitely have my own style; I’m not outlandish with my spending or the names on the clothing labels. I do like having Karen, Rhonda and Jennifer and other girls shopping with me. It feels more and more awkward to have things I need to ask about that the other girls just take in stride.

We are home, the Adams home, where I feel welcome to be part of their family. I call Sara but our conversation is bittersweet. She saw me going off shopping, but says it would not be good for her to be seen talking with me. After we talked, I wept. Rhonda felt for Sara and me. She already felt sad and frustrated for Sara had been her friend. Sara has been warned not to spend much time with Rhonda.

Rhonda shows me two dresses and four other outfits that Sara had sneaked out of the house. She gave them to Rhonda for me. I hadn’t thanked Sara when we talked, because I hadn’t yet known about the clothes.

I wear Sara’s long jeans skirt and a pretty red blouse for my first day back at school. I am so anxious about everything that I feel sick in my tummy up until lunch. I am limited in the restrooms I can use; the one at the nurse’s office and a special one that is handicapped accessible. Some teachers are happy to call me Elaine as instructed. Two teachers call me Bryce with one excusing herself for calling me by the wrong name. The other called me Bryce three different times with no excuses.

I did get to see and hug Sara twice in the hall. I told off one boy when he complains about our hug as a personal display of affection, PDA, which is against school policy. “Jared, if you complain to the office; you will have this girl all over you. It will be a different display of personal attention.”

Trevor trying to give me a bad time would not be a surprise. After he heard about Jared. He gets in my face and says, “I’m not scared of you! I’m going to make life here miserable for you!”

I said, “Oh that’s good because I want to become your good friend.” I expected Trevor to be mean, and I had not thought of saying anything like I just did. But Trevor was in my next class and I decided to walk with him into class and sit next to him. Trevor is angered, tries to push me out of the desk chair. “Hey, you’re not wanted, get out of here!”

I smile, “But I want to be your friend since we’re not afraid of each other.” Mr. Howser our history teacher asks if things are okay. Trevor shouts “No!” And I say, “Yes, Mr. Howser, I’m young Royce. I just want others to know Trevor and I are friends. But I think he has a problem with our friendship being known. He’s just being a little macho.”

Mr. Howser says, “Please be quiet about it.”

Trevor says, “Mr. Howser make him move, I don’t want to be associated with him!”

“If you didn’t notice Trevor she’s a girl; an attractive one at that.”

Without thought I say, “He has one other friend who is gay. I don’t know why I upset him.”

Mitchell Collins quickly says, “I never said that.” I now feel terrible as I did not intend for him to out himself. I didn’t even know he’s possibly gay, nor do I think many others knew. Mitch speaks up, “I’m as straight as the next guy.”

Their friend Adin mutters but others hear, “If the ‘nest guy’ is Pat.” Pat is another classmate who is known to be gay. The hurt for Mitch is seen as he sinks down in his chair. I get up and move over to the area I regularly sit in.

It is as lunch is ending that I get a message, ‘I am to see Coach Scott Higgins.’ I knock on Coach’s door saying, “Coach, I was told you want to see me.”

Coach smiles, “You must be happy with the acclaim and recognition you are getting. I have another piece of good news I want to share with you.” He can tell by my expression that I don’t know what he’s talking about. He asks, “Didn’t you see Sunday’s sports section? You were named third team quarterback by the Ledger for division 2 schools.” He said, “My news is that the Patriot Conference has you tied with Dresner as the top All-Conference Quarterback. There is a conference banquet to be held after the turn of the year and they want you to attend. …I do not know if there is a tie-breaker or not, but the Conference has sent word to me to make sure you attend the banquet.”

I say, “But Dresner’s a senior at Western and he’s a real quarterback and he’s very good. My stats can match his.”

Coach Higgins says, “I know, I haven’t been the best support to you, but you had my vote as #1. When people think of quarterbacks; it is not just about the statistics. You were a difference maker this season.” He says, “If it is not too sexist of me. You are the prettiest quarterback I’ve ever seen playing. And I wouldn’t mind if you’re our quarterback next season. I didn’t know about all your issues, I thought that you were a small overachiever. You proved me wrong time and again. I’m now a big fan.”

I am surprised by all the news and need to sit down. Though I also need to get to class. “Do you really want or expect me to go to the Conference Banquet? Am I to be the laughing stock of the conference? A girl showing up to a football awards banquet.”

Coach says, “You could come as Bryce, I think that might be preferable. But if it was really a girl that played quarterback for us, you have my support for coming as Elaine to the banquet. And I’m serious about next season.”

“What about my father; I don’t think he’ll be civil to my doing either one.”

He says, “That will be my problem and his. He won’t be going to the Patriot Conference Award night. And I have over half a year to find another defense coach, if you’re playing.”

I say, “I don’t want a worse beating up of my body than this year. That is what it would be if I play again. Every team would take me seriously next year. As I told my dad, I’d rather be running cross-country as a girl.”

Coach Higgins says, “That’s another reason you should be at the banquet. It’s a fall sports banquet, which includes cross-country and girls’ volleyball. I think your friend Rhonda Adams is cross-country, isn’t she? She should be going.”

I feel up-lifted as I head back to my classes and finish the day and return home with Rhonda and Jennifer. I text Grams on my way home, “Grams, I had a good day returning to school. If you have Sunday’s newspaper keep it; don’t throw it out. I’m mentioned in the sports section.” A quick check of the paper online just shows my name Bryce Royce as quarterback. I miss the article back on page 7, ‘Strange Happenings’. I find out about that when I got home: “Our selection of Bryce Royce the undersized quarterback who made good. Is all the more surprising since young Royce identified himself a few weeks ago as a transgender girl Elaine Royce. Seemingly her stated playing weight, being reported to be 150-55 pounds was overstated. Her true playing weight was at best 145 pounds. Male or female Royce was a fill-in quarterback, who became an impact player. It is not likely that the team would have done as well or gained a play-off berth without Royce at quarterback. …First team All-Stater Maynard Hart says, ‘When she was at quarterback; we felt we could do what was needed to win a game and we did.”

When Maynard was recently asked, “Did you know she was a girl quarterback?” Maynard stated, “I had no idea then, but I’m a believer now. On the field she was as gutsy as any guy I know. I owe part of my recognition to Elaine.”

Once home I asked, “Mrs. Adams, Coach Higgins said I’m to go to the Patriots Conference Awards Banquet? So far I’m tied as the top quarterback in the conference. Coach Higgins says the award will probably only go to one of us. He says, they like to keep several awards to be uncertain until the banquet.”

“One thing,” Mrs. Adams says, “while you’re here I am Mom Adams. Do you understand?”

I ask, “Would it be okay just to call you Mom at times?” Mom, it would be at home or Mom Adams, or Mrs. Adams out in public.

Rhonda’s there, “Can you believe it Mom a girl receiving an All-Conference award for being a quarterback. How unlikely is that?”

Ma Adams smiles as she says, “I think it is great. I am sure that All-Stater Maynard Hart will be supportive. Do you intend to go to the award banquet as Elaine?”

Delighted I say, “Thanks to Rhonda’s discovery when she saw my panties showing when I was out running. I’ve never been so sure and accept that I’m a girl. It was me, Elaine, who played at quarterback and who will accept the award if I win it.”

The ensuing days at school, girls are interested in how I come to school. Not my recognition as quarterback but what outfits I wear and how I do my hair and makeup. It is the week before the holiday break is to begin and the school approves one girls’ restroom I can use. The reality is that other girls are more likely to try to spy on me when I’m in there. What I do like, is other girls helping to add their touch to how I look.

The neatest time though sad, was when a girl came into the school hurt by her so-called boyfriend. No, I didn’t pick a fight with him. She cried on my shoulder and we talked girl to girl. She liked that I understood the insensitivity of some boys. Tyrese and some others girls have since become some of my closer friends.

Home with Grams, I’m to make a Christmas list which is fun, yet strange and difficult. Grams is also encouraging me to remember my parents and Sara. She says, I have $100 from my folks to spend for Christmas. I really doubt it’s from my folks. It might be from Aunt Cherise, Cousin Heather’s Mom. I’m hoping it is not from Grams. She’s not poor, but she’s not very well off either.

The last week at school before break, I go to my bank and take out some money from my savings account. Grams allows me to spend some money on extra Christmas lights and garland. They go well with Grandma’s decorations. Officer Tiffany takes me out shopping for gifts once and again just to go shopping, so she could visit with me.

I tell Officer Tiffany Reed that my folks are invited over for the Newton family Christmas on December 26. Part me hopes my father won’t come; I even have mixed feelings about wanting to see my Mom. But I know one or both need to come if I’m to see Sara. Plus Grams should have the opportunity to see her daughter for Christmas. It wouldn’t be a good Christmas if Sara and I don’t get together. That is kind of funny because we haven’t always been very close in high school. Now it is an unusual day that we don’t talk or text each other.

Officer Reed tells me I should have her on quick dial if and when my Dad comes to visit.

The longer my hair gets and I diet, the more I am looking like my sister. That means I am taking after my mother and not my dad.

To be continued…