We had left things concerning Marsha Winters to the Principal once he knew all the details, heard the phone recording and saying he’d settle things. We quickly learned Principal Forktongue was not to be trusted. Luckily Karen’s recording stayed with her. Instead of pressing the Principal or allowing it to become an issue about me, Karen waited and took it to the school board meeting.

I did call Marsha fifteen minutes before their meeting to share her name would be brought up. As predicted she and her parents were there by the start of the meeting. I was the one who was late as I waited for Grandma to come with me. When we got there the meeting was underway and things like the minutes of the previous meeting and the treasurer’s report were being made.

Finally, the School Board president acknowledged our presence when they got to new business. It was Karen who spoke up and made it her issue for being harassed. She said, “I and Elaine have suffered from despairing inequity of justice from the Principal and because of that the harassment has continued.”

Mr. Williams asked, “Is this going to be a case of hearsay: she said, he said. If so I think you need to go through the regular steps and expect the process to work. It may not be the outcome you want, but it will be fair.”

Karen says, “I want to play a recording. You won’t see much as I was inside a toilet stall, but I think the conversation recorded speaks for itself.” With approval to play the recording, she played it:
-It begins as Marsha enters and began teasing and tried to get the wheelchair away from me. A struggle is heard as I try to hold onto the wheelchair, and Marsha began to hit me and pulls the chair away.
-I asked, "Marsha please let go of Karen's chair"
-Marsha finally had a hold of me and you could even hear some of the hits. She says, “I dare you to hit me back. You know who they will blame.”
-I asked, “Why would they believe you over me?”
-Marsha says, “Because you’re a boy trying to be a slutty girl. Don’t you remember what the Principal said, ‘I’m a 4.0 student and I don’t get into trouble?’ Anyway your Dad’s an abusive dunk. You’re a stupid son just like your dad except you cry like a girl.”
-I say, “You might want to take that back before you get in big trouble.”
-Marsha’s voice is plainly heard, “Oh, oh are you threatening me?”
-I say, “No but you should look behind you before you say anything more.”
-Marsha says, “I’m not falling for your dumb tricks” She throws her books at me and screams, “Help Elaine is trying to hurt me. Help! Help!”
-Ms. Brook, my counselor, speaks up, “Marsha stop what you’re doing and behave. You come out of the girl’s room with me and we will wait for Elaine to help Karen. And then the three of us can go visit the Principal.”

Karen says, “This recording speaks to a prior incident as well as the more recent incident. It appears that Marsha again has been excused from any responsibility. I am recuperating from a horrific accident as many of you know. I do not want to jeopardize my recovery with such behavior being allowed.”

Board member Mrs. Miller asks, “And why do you believe it has not been handled properly?”

Karen says, “Because the last incident was almost two weeks ago. The looks on your faces and that of the Superintendent shows me; it was not shared with you as it should have been.”

Member Mr. Miller asks, “Principal and Superintendent, do either of you have light to shine upon this subject?”

Superintendent Jones says, “She is correct this is the first time I heard of either incident.”

Everyone looks to the Principal and waits for a response. Mr. Hart laughed at the Board President when he said, “It looks like we have a failure to communicate.” With that, he ordered the meeting into a closed session, and we were asked to wait out in the reception area. The Winters and Marsha were asked minutes later to meet with the Board.

Finally, they came out and the regular meeting was resumed. Board President Michaels addresses Karen and her parents. “We cannot go back, but we would like to share what we have decided. We ask your opinion about what we are prepared to do. We also want to offer a sincere apology to you.”

He paused for a response from the Harts. Mr. Hart says, “We would like to know what you decided and the surety that it won’t happen again before we respond.”

Mr. Michaels looks to the other Board members and then says: “Marsha and her parents have agreed to a ten-day suspension. We are quite sure it will impact her 4.0-grade average. During that suspension, she will perform community service at the elementary school. She is also required to write a satisfactory apology to you.”

Mr. Hart looks to Karen who looks to me and the Principal. Karen says, “Elaine Royce was punished for the first incident. Will you apologize to her and expunge her record of being falsely held responsible as was recorded against her? I am also concerned about Principal Forktongue and if he is being held accountable for his actions?”

Superintendent Jones says, “Protocol requires that the discipline of the Principal not be made here and now. It will be addressed properly and it would be so recorded as part of a future meeting with him.”

President Michaels rises and turns to me, “Elaine, we apologize that as you are going through this time of transition we have made the challenge before you, more difficult. We are coming to see you as a young woman with considerable character and loyalty to this school. We will soon be taking efforts for the School Board and the School staff to be educated and trained in relating to students such as yourself and the larger GLBT community.”

I had stood up during his remarks to me and I now stand speechless as what to say. I’m wanting something concrete that will affirm what he just said. Finally, something comes to mind and I ask, “Can the school board give approval for me and any other there might be like me? I would like to participate this track season as a female athlete.”

Mr. Mitchell looks to the board members and responds, “Yes, we will work in the coming meetings to assure that to be possible. We may need the help of your doctors and counselor, but yes, I believe we will.”

The Winters family including Marsha spoke to us as we left, giving verbal apologies. The Harts, Grandma and I agreed we would wait to see the sincerity of their words.

It is another night Grandma stays over with me at the Adams. She too is beginning to feel at home with the Adams family. Ruth Adams assures Grandma she is welcome to come the night before and stay the night after my meeting at the treatment center for my Dad. Grandma does not cry but tears are in her eyes. She misses such compassion from her own daughter, my mom, who lives here in the same town.

Grandma is not invited to the meeting at the treatment facility but she is welcome to the facility to wait for me in a nearby lounge. Grandma leaves in the morning by giving me a ride to the school. Max Sievers, Jennifer Adams, and Karen are there as I am let off by them. Max teases me about being driven to school by my Grams and giving her a hug and kiss.

Karen says, “She has good reason not to take a family for granted.” When I’m close enough, I jump and hug Max, and as I take his hat I give him a kiss. He’s the one now turning red. It is not until lunch when Karen asks, “What’s up? You’re all bubbly and relaxed today.”

I pause to wonder as do the others. Today for some reason I am relaxed and comfortable just being me. I’m noticing the different outfits and hair styles girls are wearing. I’ve even been noticing a few boys, I feel some attraction for. My classes are going well and I’m participating in more class discussions.

Jennifer asks, “Who is it, is it a boy?”

Karen says, “I saw her looking for Staci, but I think it might be Greg Johnson. He’s bumped into her twice today. Once, only to slow up after he passed us.”

Jennifer asks, “Wasn’t he a friend with you and Hadley Ford. That wouldn’t be a bad date. Someone who likes you as a friend and has affection for you.”

I say, “I already have that in Karen and Staci.”

Karen says, “It’s not quite the same as when they’re of the same sex unless one’s in love. Either Elaine needs to start dating or double dating. I want to be treated as someone special to you; do you hear me.”

“I, I.. would love to but I need to go home with grandma this weekend.”

Karen says, “Maybe my parents would let me drive down Saturday for a date.”

I look down, then confess, “My cousin Heather already has a date scheduled for me. It’s nothing special, more that Heather wants to do something with me.” Jennifer and Carrie both murmur, “Yes, sure.”

Karen asks, “Is it Tyler whom we met at the skating rink?”

I say, “Either him or Sam Matthews both Grams and Heather know him.”

Jennifer asks, “Of this Tyler, Sam Matthews, Max or Greg, who would you fancy more to date this weekend?”

“I never had choices and I’m usually slow in making them.”

Karen, “From what Staci says that’s very true. I hope we date, but you’re not waiting around for me. You’re not the only one who likes Greg; I guess I’ll be calling him back about this weekend.”

Strangely enough, I’m happy for Karen as it relieves my guilt about double dating with Heather. I do feel bad that as Bryce I was reluctant to ask for dates, afraid of being told no.

I was surprised at how quickly time passed. It felt like forever when I thought about seeing my Dad, but people and the school did well to keep me busy. Grandma had come the night before. She likes me and received communication from family. Uncle Jordy and my Mom said, “You’re not to come to the meeting as Elaine; at least dress in slacks and a shirt with regular shoes.”

I had no intention of heeding their requests. I did not dress in anything fancy. I showered and started with a new pair of panties. My bra is one I enjoy wearing. One would need to look intently to see its peach color. My top is a nice knit sweater with a winter scene.

Rhonda is in my room as I begin my makeup. She’s telling me, “Elaine, I am very proud of you. I could not love you more if you were really my sister. I hope your dad is making progress in dealing with his issues. You know they want you to be frankly honest with your dad. But please don’t sink to his level of putting down a person. I think it will be more helpful if you don’t.”

As I finish my makeup and hair, Rhonda says, “You have a smudge on your right cheek.” I look intently as I’m not seeing it. Rhonda points with a finger and finally smudges her finger through my blush. “There, I told you there was a smudge.”

I can’t help but laugh and take a cloth to clean the area. Soon it is repaired and Rhonda gives me a hug and walks with me to the kitchen. We’re finishing breakfast when I get text messages close together. Staci and Karen both text they’re thinking or praying for me. I had been afraid that Karen was angry with me and would not be speaking to me. Both messages end with an x and love.

Rhonda and Jennifer both have tears as they say goodbye and head for school. I have to wait another hour before leaving. Mrs. Adams and Mrs. Hart are here ready to go with us. Uncle Paul and Aunt Kenda come to be with Grams and me as they said they would. The talk of going to the Moore Treatment Center is subdued. Grams says, “It may seem like overkill for all of us to be here for you, but it’s more about how important you are to us.”

Kathryn Hart, Karen’s mom, gives me a necklace from Karen, saying, “She wants to be with you even if it is in a small way.” If nothing else goes well I am overwhelmed by the support I am receiving. Bryce never felt this.

We get to the treatment center fifteen minutes before I and others are informed of the process to be followed. They are expecting everything to last about an hour once things begin. Ms. Maggie Moore speaks to me apart from others and I am allowed to have Grams or Uncle Paul in with me, but for support only. They are not to say anything, including making contact with my mother or sister.

Dad comes into a broken circle as the time is about to begin. There will only be a few staff people behind him as he will usually sit inside the circle and someone will sit across from him. Uncle Jorge is the first and more than once Uncle Jorge is encouraged to be honest and confront my dad or share problems he has had with him. Jorge says, “His biggest problem is learning to drink appropriately. He can hold his liquor if he does so.” At that point, he is stopped. Mom and my sister Sara begin open in confronting my father. Even Dad interrupts them and says, “You are staying away from the things I need to deal with.

Mom says, “Admitting that you have a problem is 90% of dealing with it. I’m not sure what to say other than I’ll help fix you but you need to listen.” I’ve read enough to know Mom’s a rescuer which really isn’t helpful.

I can see that Sara wants to say more but she withholds. “Dad usually treated me well so I am not one of the people who should speak up.”

Maggie Moore asks her, “Who do you feel suffered from your father’s drinking and his drunken behavior?” She does not respond and looked at Mom who shook her head, ‘No’. Maggie says, “Your father has admitted to being an alcoholic when have you seen him act as such.” Maggie tries to help her, “Surely you saw times when your father lost control of himself and had drank too much.”

Dad mentions when we were all in an accident. Dad had become a remorseful drunk that night when he saw Sara hurt. Sara says, “He quit drinking for a long time. He loves all of us very much.”

Dad’s employer is to speak after me. Having heard his mumbling, I knew he planned to confront dad. I felt good knowing that I would not be alone. Finally, I am asked to take the chair across from my Dad. I smile as he looks better than I have seen him in years.

“Daddy, I love you, but not as a drunk and the thinking that goes with it.” I hear Uncle Jorge, Mom and Granddad Royce telling me to be quiet. Uncle Jorge is a bit threatening. “Daddy, I too remember the accident and how you quit drinking. Was it when Dr. Akers said ‘It was healthy and should be acceptable that I would consider being a girl?’ Was it then you went back to drinking. You and I knew better, I saw you drinking before that. You make excuses to justify your drinking or getting angry.”

It is then I hear a chair move and feel Uncle Jorge grab me by the hair. He lifts me out of the chair and slams me to the floor. Dad and the security people grab my uncle. Maggie Moore comes to me, “I’m sorry are you alright.” My hair hurts as does the back of my head from hitting the floor. I am even bleeding from my left ear. I felt my uncle grab my neck.

I am taken out to the lounge with Grams and a nurse looks at me there. The ear stops bleeding quickly, but the nurse insists I should go to the hospital and be checked. She states, "If your insurance doesn't cover it, it will be covered by the center here."

“First I need to finish with my Dad. The others shouldn’t have their way in stopping me.”

Maggie says, “You will be given another opportunity, but another time.”

I say, “I didn’t hit my head on the floor that badly. My ear tends to bleed easily; I bet it has already stopped bleeding as usual.”

Maggie has the nurse check and the ear has stopped bleeding and the bump on my head is less than feared. “Please let me speak to my Dad. I think he has made progress, but he needs to know it is not that simple.”

I go back into the room and Grandmother Royce has decided to speak. Grandpa is told to hush as Grandmother acknowledges Dad’s alcoholism runs in the family. “Michael J. Royce, you have the chance to break that cycle. It is not just the drinking but you have the whole family lying to deny it.” Dad is crying, but I know it’s because he knows Grandmother is right.

When she quits talking, my father looks at his dad and says, “She better not get hit by you! If she does she should leave you! She’ll be welcome to my home if need be.”

Grandmother sits by me and Grams and not her husband. They do go home together later.

Mr. Foster, dad’s boss, confronts my dad, “You will be welcome back, but you’ll be on thin ice. You will need to attend meetings. No more of your excuses, you need to be a damn good worker. If you want to keep your job there will be no more liquid lunches. Coming back to work with alcohol on your breath is not acceptable. I wasn’t sure before why your judgment had been so impaired. Your supervisor has been covering for you that will stop.

I sit across from dad again. “Dad, I don’t expect you to accept me even if you sober up. But I do hope you begin your recovery and understand you’re always going to be an alcoholic. It’s like I’m always going to be androgynous. Our only decision will be, will we be healthy about it or not. You don’t make my decisions nor do I make your decisions. You tend to get angry when you’re not in control. I am not sure how a person changes that thinking.”

“You have divided our family. I am sorry but I expect you to lie to yourself and others thinking you can drink socially. But you’ll end up drunk if you do. Sara will have trouble going to college because you’ll drink up her college money. It would be great if I’m wrong. I bet you already have whiskey hidden away to cheat when you get home. The best thing for me; would be you proving me, I’m wrong.”

Dad’s asked to respond to everyone who spoke. Dad became the weepy drunk I’ve seen before when he talked, but this time he was crying to his Mom, Mr. Foster and me. “Elaine, I won’t lie that I accept you as a girl. But you do make a good looking girl. You even appear to be healthy. I know I hurt you physically. I tried to make you a man. I don’t think I’m wrong but I will consider it’s possible.”

I could tell my mother is still angry with me. She did let Sara talk to me and Grams. She actually said hello to her Mom. But she walked away when Grandmother Royce asked her about bruises, or if she really broke her wrist falling down.

Sara asks for permission to go to Grams when I do after school on Friday. Mom said yes. We all knew to wait until the next day to see if she would change her mind.

Ms. Moore thanked me for speaking up. “I am glad you don’t expect your Dad to change toward you. I hope he will, but down the road. Please don’t move home early while he’s early in his recovering. Let him deal with alcohol issues and regain sober thinking. That can easily take six months or longer.”

When we left, I wanted to forget we needed to go to the doctor’s office for me to be checked on. Dr. Tilman had been my physician in the summer before this and he’s our family doctor. He gave me to one of his partners, Dr. Denise Hall.

Dr. Hall greets me warmly, “Well, I am glad to meet you Elaine and have a chance to be your doctor. A nurse will be in to give you one of our lovely exam garments to change into. Do you have any questions before we start?”

“Yes, do you know that I am in transition and not a normal patient?”

She declares, “Yes, I know you are in transition. But I disagree as you are normal because we are each different. What is happening to you is normal for you. It sounds like you made a healthy choice.” The nurse hands me a gown and suggests I change behind a curtain.

Shortly after I’m ready another nurse comes in and checks my medical history. She meticulously checks my head, ears and elsewhere for things that Dr. Hall might want to check. She’s a young nurse who I more easily identify with. Once she’s done, she leaves saying she’ll be back soon with Dr. Hall.

Dr. Hall asks, “Was the person who you cited for what he did? …I am a mandatory reporter. I will be reporting your Uncle Jorge Royce to the Sheriff’s office. Will you be safe? …Please take precautions, such as not going anywhere alone.”

“It appears along with yanking you down by your hair that he grabbed you by the neck. It is possible that bruises on your neck will be very visible come morning. You have nothing to be ashamed about. You may, however, want to cover it up to avoid having to answer the same questions over and over.”

She says, “Your head and neck do not appear to have any major injuries. I would like however to take x-rays to be on the safe side. Is that alright with you?”

Denise sits on a chair across from me, then she says, “I understand you have a doctor at the Stronghold Hospital as well as a counselor. Dr. Anne, I know of and work with her from time to time. Regarding the hormone therapy you are undergoing; you seem to be progressing well. Your doctor does not need my feedback, but she might appreciate my observation. You seem to be a well-adjusted young woman and I am very pleased with the care you are getting.

She continues, “You will be taken to have an x-ray. I ask you to wait about fifteen minutes in the waiting area for me to check it. I will let you know if everything is good or if there is something that concerns me.”

I talk to Nurse Darcy as she wheels me to x-ray and waits with me. “Can I ask you something, Darcy?”

She kind of giggles like of course, “I will answer if I can.”

“What do you think might be difficult for a girl like me in being a girl?”

Darcy smiles and pauses before we enter the x-ray room. “Well, to realize some things will take time to learn. The rest of us have taken a long time getting where we are. Because you appear to be a normal 16-year-old girl many will expect you to know and act like one. Some of us will be happy for you, and others will be angry that you don’t have periods like the rest of us.

“You may be like many women feeling angry or even get depressed that you can’t have a baby like others. You might get upset by the insensitivity of people, especially women who hurt your feelings.”

I ask, “Are you Darcy Jones who went to our high school when I was younger?” When I find out she is. I say, “It would be nice to have you as a friend if that is alright.”

She says, “It is alright with me, but I’d need to become friends apart from being a professional nurse here. My parents are Monica and Darrin Jones. If you want, you can get my contact information through them.”

The x-rays are quick and simple and Darcy walks me out to the waiting room. Only Grams is there and we’ll need to call Aunt Kenda. I remark to Grams how beautiful Aunt Kenda is. And ask if she minded her son marrying a Native American.

Grams says, “I’m not completely surprised that you don’t know my John’s grandfather was a Native American. Your Grandfather John moved back here to go to college. We met the second summer he was in college. I met his Grandfather Quill Jones. We know where the name Quill came from but we’re not sure how he got the name, Jones.”

One of your ancestors on the Royce side of the family was a woman from Barbados. But there was a separation in the family two generations later. The only trace of her blood in your Dad’s portion of the family is a slightly darker tint to your skin and the ability to tan well. Your great ancestor was not ashamed he married her or that she bore his children. Seemingly others treat the incident like the skeleton in the closet. Your mother was not ashamed of it when she learned about it. She has since bought into the family secret.”

Darcy comes out to tell us that the results are all negative. Upon leaving I ask Grams if she knows Monica and Darrin Jones. She likes the idea of me making a friend of a young woman almost ten years older than me. “If you two become friends. Let me know, I will give you some money for when you do something together.”

We were waiting for our ride when I asked Grams if she knew who my date is going to be Saturday night. She says, “It is going to be Tyler. Heather assures me he is a good young man. I met him the other night, and I agree he’s good looking and appears to be nice.”

Kenda picks us up and takes us to the Adams for the night. She says, “I hope you don’t mind but Heather got Sam to say yes to be your sister’s date.”

“That’s not fair, why did she do that?”

Heather’s mom says, “You will need to ask Heather, but I hope you will be discrete when you ask. Tyler is thought to be a nice catch that many girls would like to date. Heather says, he tends to date girls from out of town.”

I ask, “Is that so I won’t meet old girlfriends and ask questions.”

The afternoon was drawing to a close when Aunt Kenda says, “I think you already like being a girl and it is the boys who need to watch out after you.” Aunt Kenda had already said goodbye to me and left me wondering what she meant by her comment.

Later when Grams is ready for bed she asks me, “What did your Aunt mean when she said boys better watch after you?” I had to swear I didn’t know before Grams left me alone.

Rhonda, Jennifer and I talk about my doctor’s visit. I tell them, “Dr. Hall said I was doing well with my treatments. She said, my doctors, might be willing to give me a stronger dose of my therapy juice.”

Jennifer says, “Have they ever seen how you react on days that concoction kicks into overdrive?”

I hurry to say, “It does not!”

Rhonda says, “I told you, Jennifer, she really doesn’t realize it. Hopefully, she doesn’t get excited Saturday on her date.”

Jennifer laughingly says, “Karen kind of wishes it would happen when they’re alone…”

Story to be continued…