Friday morning, Elaine is excited to get a text from Sara who’s joyous that she’s getting to go to Grandma’s with her. “Mom would like Grams to come by to pick me up. Don’t expect much but Mom’s wanting to say hi to Grams. Hopefully it’s a step in the right direction. Mom might respond to you in negative terms, but I think she’s softening.”

“Thanks for speaking up, I’m hoping like Mom said that Dad’s working the program. I heard he had a problem after we left and will be there a week longer. But Dad told Mom, it was kind of good news.”

Sara and her friends come over to us when I get to school. I think it is as much that she can begin seeing Rhonda and being over her house more regularly.

Sara says, “Elaine, I’m half sorry about dating Sam tomorrow. Honestly, I think he’s too old for my sister at this point.” I look to Rhonda to see if she has an opinion. Rhonda steps back, “I’m not getting between you.”

I hadn’t known about Sara being set up with Sam. I am a little upset with Sara and Heather for it happening. I tell Sara so before I walk away.

Staci texts me to see her in the library at the end of my lunchtime. It is a little uncomfortable for me as Karen will wonder why I am going now. Thankfully she leaves me alone and I go to the library.

Staci whispers, “This isn’t fair to me, you’re usually hanging around with Karen or Rhonda or her sister. Now you’re going to your Grandma’s, when are we getting together?”

I am not saying anything but I feel like a juggler tossing things into the air. When I have a hold of one thing two or more things are in the air. But they’re not things. I am going to go out with Tyler tomorrow night. But I already have Staci and Karen that I care about and date.

I look to Staci when I see her and I begin to tear. She comes and gives me a hug. I’m not used to crying, but it’s happening more. “Staci, I don’t mean to be unfair. Things are changing so fast. I know I owe you time. I never thought I’d get to date Karen, a cheerleader. I stopped believing I’d get to be a girl. I’m even supposed to date a boy tomorrow night.” The shock of my news surprises Staci and face shows she’s hurt.

“You’re what? What am I to you?” She’s getting angry, but pauses and takes a deep breath. She takes hold of my hands again. “It’s crazy for me too Elaine! I fell in love with Bryce. I knew you were like a girl but when you came out I had to adjust. I had to adjust alone because you were afraid to contact me.”

“I accept and try to wrestle with you coming out as Elaine. I realized you’re still who I love. But you’re telling me it’s all a lie. I’m not special to you and you’re going to date some blankety boy. I know your feelings and thinking are changing. But you have two girlfriends and you’re saying you’re going to date some boy on us.”

Staci’s up on her feet, “You need to seriously think about others. If you don’t want me as a girlfriend tell me but don’t think you’re free to play with my heart.” I try to call her back, but she’s picked up her books and checks out of the library.

I mope through the school day; I know Karen too is wondering what is going on. I give her a hug at the end of school and say I’ll call her. I don’t want to lose Staci or Karen, but I hadn’t been thinking. I now have a date with Tyler, while I would have liked to be dating Sam.

Come, the end of school, I run to where Staci might be and soon find her, “Staci, Staci, I want you to know I heard what you said. I’m not sure if I’ll go on the date or not, but it’s you and Karen I care about. He doesn’t mean anything.”

Staci gave a half smile, “I am glad to hear that. I hope you will call or text me Sunday morning. Better if after your date you don’t call me.”

Sara says, “Marti got on me about you, saying we’ve been best friends and should focus on that.” I smile and she says, “Not so fast, don’t relax.” I couldn’t relax about Staci; we’ve done too much and been through things. She’s been there so many times after I had run-ins with my parents. But I’ve been there when her favorite grandpa died.

There’s a beep for her from her brother, Josh as he’s impatiently waiting to take her home. They live a good mile from the school, not in my direction. We hug and a simple affectionate kiss which means much for me.

They’re driving away as I hear Sara call, “Bro, oops. Elaine, Grams and I are over here.” After a quiet pause, “I’m sorry about the slip.” I didn’t hear it so I’m asking what?

Grandma is excited as we’re taking Sara home first. Grams and I are both asked to come into the house. It gets off to a less than spectacular start as Mom has her strange way of greeting. “Well Mom, what took you so long? You could have called or something.”

Grams says, “Hello and greetings to you, it is nice to see you and be here.” The house is extra nice though it is usually very nice. Mom is actually more finicky than Grams was before Grandpa died. Sara runs upstairs and I chase after her after I said hello to Mom. Mom didn’t say anything at least I didn’t hear her.

Sara is into the bathroom to quickly shower and freshen up. She has a pair of jeans and a nice top out. I look at the jeans and search until I find a pair of her designer jeans. It’s not a big change but she’ll look a lot better. She has a bag packed and all but closed up. She’s soon out drying her hair. She already has panties and a bra on and a dry towel around her.

She sees the jeans and is happy enough with my choice that she goes with it. I watch her quickly and lightly do her makeup. She’s good really good at looking sharp.

There are so many things I’m looking forward to talking sister to sister.

I go to my room and find most my girl stuff has been found and taken away. I do find a bracelet from Staci as well as one outfit hidden under other clothes on hangers. I take them back to Sara’s room asking if she’ll pack them with her things.

Sara says, “It looks like you quickly went through my closet. Is there anything, in particular, you’re interested in?” I quickly pull out a miniskirt I know she doesn’t wear anymore. Next, I grab a dress that I could still wear this winter. She says, “Good taste, you seem to know what I’m not going to wear. Give them to me, Mom doesn’t need to know you’re getting them.”

I say, “Thanks, I see you’ve gotten some new clothes. Did someone buy them for you or were they all from gift cards for Christmas?”

Sara picks up her bags, saying, “I’ll tell you on our way.”

Mom says goodbye to Grams and Sara. Looking at me, “I’m at least thankful you’re presenting yourself well. I guess you make a somewhat attractive girl. I still think it is wrong, but those who aren’t disgusted with you give compliments.”

I say, “Thanks, Mom. I hope you and Dad are doing well.”

She barks back, “He’s in a treatment facility, and you hope he’s doing well. That takes the cake.” I quickly excuse myself and go to the car.

We are soon at the Adams and I am up to my room. I see Jennifer is getting ready to go out. I suspect she and Karen will go to the basketball games and then to the dance. I’d like to be going and the one to dance with Karen. And maybe Staci if she’d be there.

I quickly change and Sara is on my case, “You know you should be showering…”

I cut the lecture short, “Sorry but I want to get home; I’ll shower and change there. I have clothes there I haven’t worn for a while.”

Rhonda steps into the room and Sara and Rhonda pick-up their friendship. Rhonda says to her, “You know your sister misses you, but she’s quite a girl on her own.” I grabbed three pairs of shoes. It’s my biggest shortage at Grams.

I had text Heather, on the way over, about getting out of my date. Heather’s text back, “Please don’t do that to me. I have everything set and Tyler’s told others he’s going out with you.” Rhonda and Sara both see the text. Both agree it would be a bad way to start a social life. Rhonda says, “Your girlfriends already expect you to be going. If you want to focus on them. You should have already been doing that. You can start Sunday.”

I ask, “So you think, I was wrong agreeing to a date?”

Rhonda’s being blunt, “Yes, I thought you knew better. You must have given your Grandma the notion that they were just good friends.”

Sara says, “Grams was thinking about us cousins doing something together. Having a transgender granddaughter dating is a big step in itself. Thinking she’d be going around with Staci or Karen as being anything other than a girl as friends is a step she didn’t think of Elaine taking.”

I had already packed, some clothes and makeup, and with my shoes, I’m ready to go. Ma Adams says, “It's nice to have both Royce girls over here.” She is looking mostly at me, “Don’t be fighting as sisters. You need to be bonding and getting to know each other as sisters. It is not the same as it’s been.”

Sara wins out to ride up front with Grams as it has been a long time since Sara was coming to stay. Grams says, “Sara being a senior makes this time extra special.” I’m sitting forward in the back and can see Sara’s eyes watering. The past few months have helped me to realize how special Grams is. I tap Sara knowing her tears are pure joy.

Grams embarrasses Sara, “Did you bring something for your visitor?”

She says, “Grams, it hasn’t happened yet.” Grams turned into the parking area of a group of stores before we’re home.

Grams makes me get a package of shields, saying, “You might as well get some and use them when you’re dating. It is better the personal experience that than to see you as a boy.” I have gotten an overdue check from my parents for spending. I splurge and pay for perfume for Sara and myself. I was going to buy Ice Blue until Sara says she has some with her. She then introduces me to White Sandalwood. It is a perfume introduced to her by a friend, which she has not yet gotten for herself.

While at Sephora’s I look at some of their lush lipsticks and say to Sara, “Can you believe some worn lipstick costing seventeen to thirty dollars or more?” A saleswoman hears me and asks, “Would you be open to trying a sample stick and see for yourself?” She has each of us, including Grandma, pick a sample. Turning to me saying, “You young lady should have a makeover.” There’s a pause, “Do you have the time?”

We each try our lipstick and mine is soft and creamy as well as looking beautiful. “How come these are so creamy and yet dry quickly?”

Therese says, “Because they’re fresh and how they’re made.” She asks Grandma, “Is your Granddaughter doing anything tonight?”

Grams replies, “We’re going out to dinner at seven with family.” Sara says, “But she needs a shower.” Everyone giggles except me. Grams says, “Were only five miles from our home. I could get her back if you are serious about giving her a good makeover. But I do need to ask, how much will it cost?” We each get to take our sample lipstick home. Grams and Sara aren’t surprised but it’s new for me.

Therese’s affirmation that it would be free is part of Grams and my motivation to get going. Joy rings in me when Sara says, “Aren’t you the lucky one.”

I quickly shower but take my time to dry and style my hair. Sara’s amused that I have learned as much as I have. When I swept my bangs and feathered them, Sara asks, “And where did you learn that nice little move?”

“I learned it from you but had to practice doing it for two weeks before I’d do it well enough to go out in public. Neither Rhonda nor Jennifer had trouble knowing who I copied.”

Grams finally calls us to get out into the car. We’re not to go to dinner until 7:15 so I ask, “What’s the rush?”

Grams says, “You may not have as much time as you’d like if Therese does a full makeover.” This time Sara and I are both in the backseat talking. The ride seems short, as we’re soon there and go straight to the beauty counters.

A younger cosmetic girl says, “Sit over in this chair and I’ll go get Therese.”

Therese is soon here and asking me to lean back as other women and teens draw around to watch. The other cosmetic girl fits a cloth around my neck and a slightly larger one across my waist and legs. I had not thought of the possibility of accidentally showing myself off.

They start with a facial, it’s a pale blue mud cream over my face. I’m asked to close my eyes, and by the smell, I’m certain cucumber slices are put over my eyes. Grams later tells me they were moist pads. They say five minutes have gone by as they begin cleaning the cream off. Aria takes another picture and shows others on the computer screen the difference. I want to see. I’m told, “I’ll see all the before and after they’re done.

My face is patted dry and Theresa says she’s only using a light foundation and one small dab of concealer saying my complexion is very good. A few people actually clapped that I have a good complexion. Sara is told this tint of foundation would not be ideal for her. I see a change but as the makeup goes on it seems so thin it seems to be invisible.

She uses a blush and has chosen a glossy lipstick to go with it. She uses a lip-liner which I never have. As she says, “For nighttime used it helps the look to stand out much better.” I am so intently watching I am not observing the over-all change. She uses a narrow eyeliner; saying she doesn’t like any more than that for a girl my age.

Sara says, “She’s going to be 17 before the end of the school year.”

Therese and Aria both say they thought I’m fifteen or a young sixteen. Sara says, “Would you believe she’s been a high school quarterback.”

Therese says, “Woe girl, you clean up very well. If I remember right you’re a pretty good quarterback.”

“Thanks but that’s now past tense. I plan to run track and cross-country instead.”

Aria says, “Your legs are nice that they’ll have boys running after you. That is unless you want to turn around and catch them.”

There is a lot of fun chatter going on around us along with our talking. Therese is putting the finishing touch on my eyes. A blueish-purple mascara sets the off blue eyeshadow with a silvery white above it has them sparkling.

Aria finishes my lips and both are checking for anything not quite perfect. A saleswoman has come over from the women’s store next door. She’s carrying a silver-gray miniskirt asking Therese, “What do you think about this to go along with the look you created?”

Therese says, “It would look very good, except she’d need different stockings.”

Deb agrees, but I ask, “Do I have a say in this?”

Therese whispers, “If it’s free I would say yes.”

I look to Deb from Maurice’s and ask, “Is it?”

Debra pauses before smiling and saying, “Yes, if each store gets a picture.”

“Yes, if there’s a third picture for us.” I am given a bay so I can go and change into the skirt and stockings. I’m extra happy as I’ll be wearing an extraordinary pair of stockings instead of hose as well as a brand new skirt. The skirt I wore is one of Sara’s that I’ve taken for my own.

Aunt Julia and her husband and Chase call from Hopewell’s, the restaurant we’re to meet at. Saying, “It is seven o’clock where are you?” Seemingly Grams and I heard the time differently than they did. We are there before 7:15 like we thought it was to be.

Chase and my cousin Violet are with them. One older brother is off at college and Travis works and is living on his own.

Everyone orders and then I ask, “Chase what has your attention?” He has only looked directly at me once. Usually, we’re both talkative as we both love photography which Chase is very good at.

He barks back like it’s my fault, “I’ve been getting hassled at school because my quarterback cousin is a girl!” He pauses, “It might not be your fault but they’re teasing me if I’m to be the next girl in the family.”

Though Chase is taller at five foot ten and he’s slender built. If anyone has seen pictures of me as Bryce, Chase and I look like we could be brothers, and still now as kin. Aunt Julia says, “We know it’s not your fault. But we’re glad you didn’t come and stay with us. Chase has two notes that you shouldn’t come to school with him. There would be trouble for the both of you if that happened.”

Uncle Matt says, “The Principal here said, they would do what they could, but it’s an open campus and hard to monitor under normally good circumstances.”

The salad had already been served and now the dinner has come. I continue to eat and then realize others are looking at me. Aunt Julia speaks up, asking, “How can you eat, doesn’t this bother you?”

I set my fork down, saying, “I feel bad for Chase, but it is a rare day that someone doesn’t hassle me. I guess I’ve become accustomed to not allowing it to worry me all the time.” I look to Chase, “It stinks being hassled like that. If it wasn’t your senior year you could go to Heather’s school. The students that I’ve met there were cool with me.”

Chase says, “I was wondering if I could take some pictures of you for my portfolio. I’m looking at the University of Penn. My pictures of you earlier as Bryce and now as Elaine might count more at the university level.

“I’m already accepted at two places, but the University of Pennsylvania is Ivy League and my first choice.”

I say, “Yes, but I suspect they have at least a couple of good GLBT communities. Don’t use the photos like you’re playing a card to get points. That could backfire.”

Uncle Matt says, “We’re having desserts.” I notice Violet like Sara and I order a small apple crisp. It has been months since I’ve tried to stuff myself with a big dinner and dessert.

Aunt Julia asks as we eat dessert, “Are you likely to go with Rhonda and her family next Wednesday to observe Ash Wednesday?”

I hadn’t thought about it since I’m not Catholic or from a church that usually makes much out of it. I reply, “I hadn’t thought about it. If Jennifer and Rhonda go I guess I should consider it. Is there anything I should know if I do?”

Violet says, “What I’d do if I were you, is: I’d have Jennifer go in front of me to show me what to do and Rhonda behind me. That would be to stop me from running out.”

Julia says, “That’s not bad Violet. I suspect Mrs. Adams will be behind her in case she needs added instruction as they go up both for the ashes and Communion.

We are about to leave the restaurant and split up when Case asks if we could talk alone for a moment. I can tell Case is forcing himself to get the nerve to tell me something. Soon he says, “Monday and Tuesday I was teased mercilessly about being like you. I didn’t know how to stop them. Wednesday two guys even got in my face asking me if I wanted to kiss either of them.”

I said, “You need to tell your folks and involve the school or authorities.”

Chase says, “Now I don’t need to. You’ve heard me talk about Johnny Johnson.”

I say, “He’s one of your close friends, isn’t he?”

“Well. I guess he sees us even closer. We took the shortcut through the park to get home yesterday. He tugged my hand to stop and then he kissed me.”

I ask, “Did you set him straight about that or is that part of the problem?”

Chase says, “I’m now confused, I didn’t think I like him like that. But I kind of kissed him back so what can I say?”

“Chase,” I take hold of his hands, and his Dad calls us to say goodbye and talk another time. “We don’t have enough time, but call me after 10 tonight. You’re the one to decide what it means for you, not one kiss.”

I spurt out softly, “I’ve had a couple of kisses that felt really nice that were with people I don’t feel close to. It took a bit to figure what it meant for me.” We took a few steps before I say, “Think about it and we’ll talk later.”

Sara says to me as we head to Grams SUV, “What’s Chase problem, he looked upset.”

I tell her, “I’ll tell you later.”

Grams acts like she doesn’t hear until we get out of the car. “Elaine, I want you to come and tell me what is going on before you go to bed. Do you hear me?” I shake my head to confirm I will.

Once to Grams, Sara says, “Come and let’s see the makeup you received and let you get a closer look. You look like you should have been at someone else’s table with how fantastic you look.”

I interrupted her, “I thought Aunt Julia looked especially nice and neither Violet nor you were shabby.”

Sara declares, “There’s a difference. It isn’t your fault as it was due to the makeover and a brand new skirt. They even changed your necklace and earrings.” I had not remembered the last two.

She asks me, “Did you notice the lining of your skirt? Many mini-skirts don’t even have linings and those that do, don’t have a lining like this. I don’t think Debra Mills intended to give you that skirt. But with your legs and the pictures they took; she knew what she was doing.”

“Are you sharing its extra expensive?”

She says, “You just said it and you’re correct. She knew the stockings weren’t to come back. But with the addition of the jewelry, she easily gave you more than price out at $150 dollars’ worth of clothing and jewelry.”

“Get out of her. That can’t be, I’m not that fortunate.”

Grams calls into the room, “Elaine, can I see you alone in my room.” It isn’t a question and I’m pretty sure what she wants. As I leave my room, Sara says, “I’m next.”

Grams asks me to sit on the edge of her bed; the chair where she sits at her vanity is padded and works for us talking across from each other. “Does Chase have himself in some trouble; if so why is he asking your advice?”

“Grandma, the trouble isn’t of his making, you heard that.” She knows I’m trying to get out of telling her more.

She says, “He too is my grandchild and if he’d get hurt, I’d feel bad not being there for him.”

“Grandma, it’s not about those threatening to hurt him. Some bullies threatened to kiss him, but they didn’t. I shouldn’t tell you, but a friend surprised him with a kiss. It now has him wondering, because he kind of liked the kiss. He’s kind of guessing about himself what kind of guy he is. Please, you can’t tell him you know unless he confides in you or there are problems. It is something he has to work out.”

I tell her, I think it was good he asked me and I hope he’ll confide in his parents or you. But that is his decision, not yours.”

Before I leave from talking with Grams, I ask about the makeup and skirt I got tonight. She confirms, “Yes, I think they went more than a little overboard in treating you special.”

“Your sister and I thought the makeover was extremely nice, but when Ms. Mills from Maurice’s came with that skirt and stockings; we thought things became too lavish. Needless to say, I have not been pricing miniskirts, but I recognized it to be an extremely fine item of clothing.”

I am back in my room shimming out of my skirt when Sara taps on the door as she comes back in. She doesn’t waste any time saying, “I am impressed you take better care of your clothes than Bryce. But what I really want to know is what Chase thought was so important he needed to talk to you.”

I say, “You and he are closer, I know, you should be asking him. I hope he’ll share with you but that is for him to decide.”

Sara catches me by surprise by starting to tickle me. She knows I cannot take it when she gets me by surprise as I lose any control I might have mustered. “No fair, I can’t tell you.” She doesn’t give up and I finally give in. “Okay, you heard the pressure Chase is under from people questioning his manhood. It isn’t that. It has more to do with a close friend.”

“But it has to be somewhat associated with you or he’d have talked to me. I could tell, he was particular in wanting to talk to you.”

I say, “Well, it had to do with something between them?”

Sara asks, “Did Johnny turn against him?” There's a pause and no reaction by me, “Or did Johnny put a move on him?” My eyes flash wide in surprise, and then Sara continues. “I told Chase more than once that Johnny likes him as more than a friend. Chase wouldn’t believe it.”

She asks, “So did this cause Johnny to express himself to Chase? How far did it get before Chase said no?”

I didn’t know how to answer or not answer. Sara’s ahead of me, “You’re not telling me, Chase…”

“I’m not telling you anything.”

Sara says, “So how did it go after this nothing happened?”

I aggravate Sara by continuously changing the subject. I’m thankful we’re not to see Chase tomorrow and hopefully not Sunday. I kick out Sara from the room and called wait to make sure I’m alone before I call Chase…

Story to be continued…