The Daily Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 2089 by Angharad Copyright © 2013 Angharad All Rights Reserved.

Later on, I discussed what had happened with Simon. He was sceptical, suggesting it was probably coincidence that Trish had choked on the same thing as the dormouse. He was probably right. He also got a bit snotty in suggesting that for an unbeliever I was filling her head up with tales of Old Testament goddesses, Like Grimm’s Fairy Tales only grimmer.

I could have taken umbrage but I bit my tongue. After all, he’d been the recipient of the healing energy several times so dare he question it or the other things I'd borne witness to when he hadn’t seen them himself. If he saw the goddess thing himself he might be more sympathetic, then I remembered she only works through the feminine principle and he was a total, one hundred percent, complete male–my arse. He cried at weddings and funerals and when Kylie’s character got killed in the Christmas Dr Who a few years back. He claimed he yawned, but I know different.

We ended up snuggling together and I fell asleep quite quickly despite it being very warm in bed. I didn’t stay there unfortunately as I awoke to squeals or whimpers from the girl’s room. I almost fell out of bed, the cat ran out from under the bed and I felt this warm furry thing between my feet and nearly died, until I worked out what had happened, by which time I was almost in the girl’s room.

On entering the room I saw Cindy bending over Trish’s bed, which threw me for a moment, then it became obvious she was calming her down after a bad dream. Thankfully, the others were still asleep. I sent Cindy back to bed and settled Trish down again, throwing a bubble of light around her before I headed back to my room and my bed.

“Auntie Cathy,” was hissed at me.

“Yes?”

“Can you show me how to do that?”

“Show you what?”

“The blue light stuff.”

“Oh that, it’s easy.” I threw a bubble around her as well and she seemed to drop off to sleep as if I’d shot her with an anaesthetic dart. I staggered back to bed wondering if I could do it to myself–I couldn’t. Well to be precise, I could surround myself in the light, which made me feel cooler but it didn’t make me want to sleep, rather it made me want to meditate–just lie there focusing on the light while my mind calmed down and I felt myself being drawn deep down inside myself.

If there emerged any profundities or divine truths, I missed them. I woke up–I think I must have drifted off to sleep–at six feeling incredibly relaxed and energised at the same time. That seemed paradoxical but it was also true. Perhaps I needed to try and meditate more often, especially in a blue tent, as that seemed to protect me from distractions and keep me cool. Had I really meditated for four hours? I thought I’d been asleep but perhaps not. It didn’t matter, Simon appeared from the bathroom wearing naught but a towel and it was tempting to snatch at it but he didn’t come close enough–the rat.

He went back in the en suite to comb his hair and I stole out of the bed and downstairs to put the kettle on and start him some toast. I cracked some eggs and beat them and by the time he came down I was placing scrambled eggs on toast on the table for him.

“What are you doing up?” he's such a romantic.

“Making my husband breakfast, why?”

“No that was my next question.”

“What was?”

“Why?”

“Why what?”

“Why are you making me breakfast?”

“Because I wanted to.”

“Oh.” That shut him up and he sat down and tucked in while I made him some coffee. Sammi appeared at this point and I offered to make her the same, but she settled for coffee and a slice of toast with peanut butter. What awful stuff that is. I love peanuts, but not as a spread–yuck.

I made myself a cup of tea and drank it wishing I’d made myself some toast as well. So I did and just as I was buttering it with Flora, I don’t use butter, Cindy came down. I wasn’t sure if I felt resentment, the bloody kid seemed to get everywhere and she’s just a guest here. I made her some toast and a glass of milk, she doesn’t drink much tea or coffee. Simon and Sammi pecked me on the cheek as they were about to leave, saw the look on her face and kissed her goodbye as well. Now I really felt resentful–she isn’t one of my family, so why are we treating her like one?

I was the adult here and I had to keep calm. “D’you want me to leave, Auntie Cathy?”

“Leave?”

“Yes, go home.”

“Certainly not, I promised your mum you could stay until the weekend.”

“Yeah, but I’m getting in the way aren’t I?”

“No you’re not, whatever gave you that idea?” I felt myself getting hotter.

“You did, you didn’t like me being here while you were seeing Uncle Simon and Sammi off to work, did you?”

“I don’t know what you mean, Cindy.”

“Yes you do, Auntie Cathy, your aura went from pink to red when you looked at me and bright red when Uncle Simon kissed me goodbye as well.”

“Did it? I was thinking of something else, sweetheart.”

“No you weren’t, I’m thirteen not six, I’ll go and pack my things.”

“Cindy, sit down–um, please.”

She sighed and returned to her seat. “You’re quite right, I was fuming but I don’t know why. Jealousy is not something I’ve ever suffered from before.”

I don’t belong here do I? I’m not a real girl like all of you–I’ll go and pack.”

“That has nothing to do with anything.”

“Yes it has, I can’t have periods and things like the rest of you. I don’t fit in and never will.”

Oh shit. “Look, sweetheart, I don’t find your gender thing a problem at all. None of us are one hundred per cent anything, so we all have variations upon a common theme. Trish sometimes acts more like a boy than Danny, yet we know neither of them would want to be the opposite gender.” Boy this was getting confusing, trying to protect everyone.

“I’m not sure I believe you.”

“I’m not trying to make you believe anything, only that I don’t have a problem with gender different people, or gays or any other minority providing it doesn’t hurt anyone else. Besides, I don’t think of you as anything but a normal girl.”

“Who’s the little girl standing behind you?”

I spun round and there was Billie, she walked over to Cindy and said quietly. “My mummy always accepted me as a girl, even though I was born a boy. She helped me feel comfortable about myself and the happiest I’d ever been in my life. She gave me love when no one else would.”

I felt the tears rolling down my cheeks as my little girl spoke in my defence without betraying me or any of the others in the family. She talked about my love and support for her, and how it had helped her find happiness and peace now she was no longer of this world. In return she tried to be around to help her family when she felt she could. Cindy was absolutely riveted by their conversation, as was I, though I was definitely weeping the more copiously.

She disappeared after saying she loved me and when I looked at the clock only moments had passed. Cindy wiped her eyes and apologised to me. I walked over to her and hugged her. “You should feel very privileged. She doesn’t appear to many people, usually Trish more than any of us, but more recently she’s been coming to me as well.”

Cindy hugged me back, “I’m sorry, Auntie Cathy, I don’t want to go, you’ve all been so kind to me.”

“Well, you’ve got a couple more days until the weekend anyway–let’s make them good ones, shall we?”