The Daily Dormouse. (aka Bike) Part 2013 by Angharad Copyright © 2013 Angharad All Rights Reserved.

Tom took me to lunch and spent the whole time staring at my chest.

“Daddy?”

“Aye, hen,” he said without moving his eyes from my cleavage.

“My face is up here,” I said pointedly.

He went scarlet and avoided both eye contact and viewing my thorax. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, I dressed provocatively because I wanted to make an ecological point–though I suspect most of the boys were too thick to appreciate it.”

“Oh aye?”

“Yes, that of reproductive strategies.”

“I dinna think ye’d best say any more.”

Now it was my turn to blush.

We ate in an embarrassed silence, and the only noise I made apart from thanking him for my lunch was the clicking of my heels as we returned to the car. I drove us back to the university and parked in my reserved space. As we were about to leave the car, he suddenly said, “I think ye look bonny.”

“Thank you, Daddy.”

“Aye, weel, back tae thae grindstane.”

“I suppose–Daddy?”

“Aye?”

“You don’t think this was over the top, do you?” I pointed to the low cut top.”

“Ye’ll no be young f’ever, enjoy it while ye can.”

“Thank you,” I pecked him on the cheek and we wandered into the biological science block.

“Oh my giddy aunt, Kim Kardashian eat your heart out,” was my greeting from Pippa.

“Who?”

“Some American woman who’s famous for being famous.”

“Ah, a genuine celebrity.”

“Eh?” she gave me a puzzled look.

“Well, if you’ve done something then that’s what you’re famous for, unless you’re a royal of some sort.”

“Or a Cameron,” she interjected.

“Very funny–no, if you’re famous for just being yourself–then you’re a true celebrity.”

“Helps if you have big tits,” she retorted.

“Probably.”

“Tea?”

“Oh please.” I followed her into the little room they use for making tea and washing up. “There is a reason for my being dressed this way.”

“Cathy, if you want to seduce every male on campus who’s neither gay nor blind, that’s your affair.”

“It would be if I did.”

“Did what?”

“Seduced someone.”

“What are you on about?”

“It would be an affair if I seduced anyone other than Simon.”

Her look went from puzzled to bewildered. “You’re not having an affair, are you?”

“No, of course not–I was just picking up on what you said, it’s my affair.”

“Did I say that–but you’re not, having an affair, I mean?”

“Of course not–let’s face it–I’m hardly in the very desirable category am I–so he’s got no worries on that count.”

“What? Cathy, f’Chrissake, look at yourself–you’re a living goddess. Half the men here would jump your bones in a second.”

“Only half?” I teased.

“Yeah, the other half would probably be unable to get their trousers off because of something standing to attention.”

“Don’t talk rubbish–here,” I handed her a mug with a teabag in it, “make the tea.”

“You making tea?” called a male voice.

“Russ–do you know Cathy?” asked Pippa and a man I’d never seen before walked into the room. “Watch his pants,” she whispered at me.

“Cathy? No I don’t think I–well hello, you must be Cathy?” Moments after he wandered in to the room I casually glanced at his pants and he had something large hiding in the front of his trousers and it was growing by the look of it. I felt quite shocked.

“Cathy, is a teacher here and she runs the mammal survey.”

“What here?”

“No, country wide from here, she’s also involved in the European survey and there’s talk the Americans might be using it as a model. She devised it all.”

“So not just a pretty face and body then? How come I’ve never seen you before? What d’you teach?”

“Field biology and ecology.”

“You’re the dormouse lady?”

I blushed, “Yes,” expecting him to mention the you tube clip.

“That was a lovely documentary and I believe your courses are several times over subscribed?”

“So I’m told.”

“I wish you’d do a film on microbiol, then maybe we’d fill our courses too.”

“I’d have thought microbiology was quite popular?”

“It used to be–but with all these kids doing soft A levels in media studies–I ask you, what is that supposed to mean? The media? It’s so nebulous it means something different to everyone.”

“I have no idea, but most of my students have done some biology.”

“Then you take ’em for a walk in the woods?”

“I beg your pardon?”

He blushed, “You have a reputation for doing something different for every lecture you do. Didn’t you take one class out to the woods?”

“And another to the foreshore to demonstrate ecological principles, yes I did.”

“I wish could get away with that.”

“Why don’t you? See what they can find floating in the harbour.”

“By Jove, what a good idea–thank you, Cathy.”

“I did once do the ecology of a bird bath for one class–amazing what microbiology turned up there–from rotifers to all sorts of nasty bacteria.”

“What a capital idea–you do some microbiology then?”

“Even I can distinguish a rotifer from an alga–but one of your colleagues did the identifications back in the lab.”

“Well if you want to share a class sometime? Maybe I could learn a trick or two from you.”

I shrugged.

“Thanks for the tea,” he said to Pippa and to me he said, “The delightful, Cathy, adieu.” He bent over took my hand and kissed the back of it. “Enchanted,” he said and left. I was gobsmacked.

“Did you see his pants?”

“Yeah, brown corduroy.”

“No the bulge in the front.”

“Perhaps he wears his sporran on the inside on a cold day.”

“Ha ha–he was in lust with you.”

“A bit old fashioned in his dress and manner.”

“Not your sort then?”

“Nah–I’ll stick with Simon. Sometimes I like the Neanderthal bit when he drags me back to his cave by my hair.”

I shouldn’t have said that while she was in mid swallow–we had to clean the photocopier afterwards–amazing where some ejected tea can get. By the time we finished I had to go and collect the girls. We came back to the labs because they asked to see the dormice. One or two were awake and feeding on fruit and nuts so they did get to see some. Spike was still in hibernation mode, so we left her alone, much to Trish’s disappointment. It was clearly her plan to handle a dormouse and Spike was the obvious candidate. We left the lab with her wearing a face that suggested she’d just heard Christmas had been cancelled.

“’Snot fair,” she kept muttering as we went back to the car.