The Daily Dormouse. (aka Bike) Part 2085 by Angharad Copyright © 2013 Angharad All Rights Reserved.

“I thought the expression was, ‘soul of discretion?’

“Does it matter?” he plied back at me.

“Not in the greater scheme of things...”

“Well then?”

“I mean compared to proving the existence of dark matter or dark energy, it’s pure insignificance.”

“I thought they had.”

“Had what?” I queried.

“Some idea of dark matter.”

“I thought that was dark energy.”

“Oh it might have been, gravitational pull between particles that don’t show up on the electromagnetic scale.”

“Yep, that’s the one.”

“See my education wasn’t entirely wasted–all that money Dad spent.”

“Hardly shows much value for money, does it?”

“Babes, the object of a public school education wasn’t to show value for money but to create the next generation of leaders.”

“I wonder if they could get a refund?”

“What?” he glared back at me.

“On Stella,” I lied digging the pit deeper.

“What about me?” asked the eponymous one.

“I was about to tell Simon that joke you told me.”

“I didn’t tell you any jokes.”

“She hasn’t got a sense of humour,” cracked Simon.

“Oh I don’t know, sticking your underpants in the freezer was quite funny.”

“Hilarious,” he rolled his eyes.

“So what joke am I supposed to have told you?” Stella demanded.

“The one about the photon that checked into a hotel, the porter asked if he had any luggage and the photon replied, ‘No, I’m travelling light.’ Good, isn’t it?”

Simon smirked but Stella glared at me. “A technical joke, I prefer puns.”

“Is it solipsistic in here or is it just me?” I ventured.

“Just you,” she snapped and stumped off while Simon sniggered.

“That was funnier than your jokes,” he suggested.

“Gee thanks, okay, I won’t try to remember any more.”

“I saw them in the Independent.” I rolled my eyes and he smirked again, then pulled me to him and kissed me. “I think actions speak louder than words.”

“You mean like Stella storming out just now?”

“Oh ignore her, the battery in her wotsit has gone again.”

“What are you talking about?” I had no idea, could have been pacemaker for all I knew.

“Her thingy,” he mimicked movements in and out of his crotch. “Her dildo thing.”

“Vibrator?” I asked blushing.

“That’s the thing–do you know why women marry men?” I shook my head. “’Cause a vibrator can’t buy a round of drinks.”

“That is pretty dire.”

“Oh there’s loads where that came from.”

“I think I’d prefer they stayed there.”

“Okay,” she shrugged, “So what was this bloke who rescued you look like?”

“About your size and build, a few more muscles and tattoos.”

“You didn’t marry me for my muscles.”

“Just one,” I smiled and he beamed.

“Wanna get a work out?”

“No thank you, Simon. My foot and ankle are hurting and I doubt I’ll be able to climb the stairs.”

“I could always carry you?”

“The last time you did you nearly gave me concussion on the wall at the top.”

“I told you to watch your head.”

“After you smacked it against the wall.”

“It wasn’t deliberate.”

“If I’d thought it had been, d’you think I’d be here now?”

“How would I know? Women are a mystery to me, for all I know, you might enjoy a bit of being roughed up.”

“I hope that was a joke or I’m spending the night on the couch.”

“Weren’t you anyway?” With that he walked off and up the stairs while I sat there feeling somewhat hurt. I managed to pull myself up and using a stick limped across the kitchen, went to the loo and then limped into the sofa in my study and almost fell down on it. My foot and ankle were now really hurting and my short walk hadn’t helped one bit. In the end I grabbed some aspirin and bottle of water and tried to sleep. The study was probably a little cooler than the bedroom and it was still too warm to sleep easily.

I did go to sleep because I woke with shooting pains in my foot and leg when I fell off the sofa. In my weary and depressed state I couldn’t help but burst into tears, which made me feel worse and still snivelling I pushed myself back up onto the cushions and wiped my eyes on the backs of my hands.

“So your generosity gets you into trouble again, Catherine.”

“I hope that’s a rhetorical question,” I fired back at the beautiful woman dressed in gold who stood between me and the desk.

“It might have been, might it not? But it’s also true. You fell trying to avoid knocking down a small child.”

“No normal adult would hurt a child if they could avoid it.”

“Perhaps, but many would have knocked him down to avoid hurting themselves.”

“Ah, but how many women would?”

“Maybe fewer–you always try to reinforce your femaleness to us, don’t you, even though we’ve told you we only work through the female spirit.”

“I see you have your hooks in Cindy.”

“Such hostility, Catherine, what have we done to deserve it?”

“Is she going to have such conflicts as I do over this healing stuff?”

“That is for her to decide, our helpers aren’t all like you, ashamed of the greatest gift we can endow upon you.”

“Perhaps they don’t find it unnatural to be able to bring someone back to life–but I do.”

“Is that because the one you would really have given almost anything to be able to do it for, you didn’t?”

“It wouldn’t have worked, would it?”

She shrugged.

“Would it?”

“Why should we answer you?”

“Because I am asking you to.”

“Ask her yourself.” With that Billie appeared by the side of her.

“Hello, Mummy.”

“Hello, sweetheart.” I looked at the goddess, “Might I give her a hug?” She looked down at Billie and nodded. Billie walked across to me and we embraced and the tears poured from me.

“Don’t cry, Mummy, you couldn’t have saved me if you were twice as clever. It was meant to be, just as yours is to do great things.”

“Great things, I don’t want to do great things–I just want to watch my children grow up, unlike you were allowed–and enjoy their lives.”

“You could do that too, Mummy, as well as the work you are here to do.”

“What work? Why can’t someone tell me what that is, all I get are riddles and enigmatic whispers and I am growing tired of the whole bloody thing.”

“Even Jesus asked for the burden to be lifted from his shoulders.”

“I am not bloody Jesus, and I certainly don’t plan on dying for my cause, so why don’t you just disappear and find someone obviously more worthy than I am to be your patsy?”

“Such hostility, Catherine.”

“Well, my bloody ankle is hurting.”

Suddenly it felt as if the thing was going to explode it got so hot then it went very cold, then it returned to normal. “Does it now?” asked the golden woman.

“No, thank you, ma’am.”

“Do not feel so angry about being our instrument. These things were chosen long ago, it is your destiny, you cannot avoid it.”

“You know I don’t believe in any of that stuff.”

“No you don’t, do you?”

“So what are you going to do to convince me?”

“What would you like us to do?”

“Give me back Billie.”

“We can’t, it is too late.”

“I thought you could do anything.”

“Even mere goddesses have their limitations. Perhaps another request for proof?”

“Make me fully female, you know all functioning bits.”

“Alas that is also not allowed, you have chosen your path and being in that body is part of it. We did allow you to be more female than most transsexual women.”

“Gee thanks, why couldn’t I have been an ordinary man, then?”

“Is that what you would like?”

“Don’t, Mummy, that would make Daddy and you gay men,” with that Billie disappeared.

“Please don’t punish her for helping me then.”

“That was not our intention. You do good works, Catherine, and each one you do you get closer to your real purpose. One day it will be revealed to you and to all mankind.”

“I don’t think I’m up to it?”

“When the time comes you will be, we can assure you of that.”

“Why me?” I said loudly and woke myself up. I was a bath of sweat and I pulled myself up on the sofa needing a drink and wee I go up and walked to the kitchen where I got myself a bottle of cold water, took a swig and then went to the cloakroom.

“What a dream?” I said to myself before looking down at my bandaged ankle which no longer hurt or was swollen.