(aka Bike) Part 2022 by Angharad Copyright © 2013 Angharad
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After finishing my tea and the cheesy potato I reached down for the iPad and discovered that Julie had obviously taken it back with her. I’ll murder her when I get home, and I have the perfect get out–a head injury. If I kill one or two others as well just to make it look good–nah, I’d end up in Broadmoor probably in the next room to Ian Brady–back to the drawing board.
I was still plotting, only with my eyes shut when Simon arrived. “How d’you feel?”
“Fine but frustrated.”
“Oh, well as it’s a private room, if I bung the sister a few quid perhaps we could do something about your frustrations.”
“Simon, there is more to life than sexual frustrations.”
“Speak for yourself.”
“I was–and I can genuinely state I have a headache.”
“I was thinking a bit lower down, that still working.”
“No, I have a catheter in.”
“Oh f–!”
“Actually, that is one thing I won’t be doing tonight: now, did you bring me in some clothes?”
“Yes.”
“Oh good, what’s in there?”
“I don’t know do I? Julie packed it for you.”
“What?”
“Julie packed it for you.”
“I heard what you said, why did you let her?”
“She’s got a better idea of what women need in hospital than I have.”
“I shall unadopt her as soon as I get home.”
“She’s not an MP.”
“I know exactly what she is, little tart.”
“Steady on, she’s a nice kid–you’re always saying so.”
“That was before she refused to loan me her clothes to escape from Colditz.”
“Colditz?”
“Yes, they intend to keep me here, but I won’t talk.”
“Eh?”
“I won’t reveal the secret ingredient in Great Aunt Bertha’s strawberry jam.”
He shook his head. “I doubt they’re that interested.”
“But her jam was of national renown, she won the preserves prize four years running at the Bristol and West show, and got a highly commended at Chippenham. Hartleys and Robinsons were always after her secret. Hartley, that’s it.”
“What is?”
“Will you listen, Simon–that’s your problem you don’t listen.”
“I am listening, you’re just not making any sense.”
“I’m a university lecturer and expert in communication skills, are you sure it’s not you who’s at fault?”
“Quite sure.”
“Well listen this time, the chap who’s keeping me imprisoned here, well his name is Hartley. Don’t you see, they’re still after Great Aunt Bertha’s secret ingredient.”
“Is there a secret ingredient?”
“D’you think I’d make this sort of stuff up?”
“Yes.”
“Oh ye of so little faith.”
“I am well aware that you can be ten times more sneaky than Stella and besides you’re far more intelligent–but then so is the kitten.”
“Hey, Stella is lovely–on occasions.”
“She saved your life, apparently.”
“I think you’ll find she sent for the ambulance–the paramedics usually do the rest, and the hospital is claiming to be the origin of such life saving miracles.”
“I don’t care if it was Trish and Julie...”
“They’re also claiming copyright over the whole business of raising the dead. I think they may find St Paul got there first. Just imagine how different the world would be if they’d had Twitter in those days?”
“Um, that’s a bit too surreal for me.”
“Well they’d have had no need for the Holy Ghost, facebook would have done for that, and would JC have tweeted for forty days before doing an ET and phoning home?”
“How would I know?” Simon looked alarmed.
“He couldn’t, it was a trick question.”
“It was?”
“Yeah, he wouldn’t have got wi-fi in the sepulchre, would he?”
“Why don’t we deal with what Julie packed?”
“Oh, changing the subject are we?”
“No, I have to go home tonight and the way you’re going on we’d still be waiting for Ascension Day by breakfast time.”
“That’s on Thursday.”
“What is?”
“Ascension day.”
“Is it?”
“Take my word for it.”
“I always take your word, Cathy.”
“So how come you didn’t bring in some clothes you could take me home in?”
“I wasn’t aware you could go home, the girls said they wanted you in overnight for observation.”
“Julie didn’t say that.”
“How d’you know?”
“She’d have said to keep an eye on me.”
“She did. You must be getting better.”
“Better? How can you improve on perfection?”
It took a moment for the penny to drop then he smirked.
“What have they been giving you–lemon juice?”
“No, why?”
“You’re rather sharp tonight.”
“Come on then open the bag.”
He unzipped it and pulled out two nightdresses, a lightweight dressing gown, some slippers toiletries and tissues, some money, my MP3 player, a cuddly toy and my iPad.
“At last–now I can inform the police about them detaining me here against my will.”
“I’m afraid you can’t?”
“Why?”
“The battery is flat–when did you last charge it?”
“I don’t know–they run forever.”
“Um–they don’t, Cathy, you have to charge them–this one is flat–see?”
It seemed to be the case.
“Did she pack my phone?”
“Er–no.”
“So how am I supposed to let you know I’ve been released?”
“I’m sure they will phone for you.”
“Not until I spill the jam.”
He shook his head, “Sometimes I think you’re quite mad.”
“There are two things I’d challenge in that statement.”
“What?”
“Sometimes and quite.”
“Anyway, I’ll take the iPad back home and charge it for you.”
“What with, riotous assembly?”
“Oh very good, that was almost funny.”
“Compared to your jokes that was really funny, Simon Cameron.”
“If you say so.”
“I do.”
“I have to go, Babes, early meeting tomorrow.”
“Right, so it’s back to building a glider then to get over the security fence.”
“What?”
“Well that’s what they did in Colditz.”
“But you’re not in Colditz.”
“That’s why they’ll be so surprised.”
“I’m beginning to wonder about the bang on your head, Cathy.”
“I’m perfectly alright, but no one will believe me except Billie.”
His eyes opened very wide, “Is she here then?”
“Why? Can’t you see her?”
“Would I be asking if I could?”
“I don’t know, Simon.”
“Oh thanks. Anyway I’ve got to go, I’ll see you tomorrow sometime.”
He bent over and kissed me. “Bye,” he waved and turned to leave.
“Aren’t you going to wave goodnight to Billie then?”
“Where is she?”
“Over on that seat.”
“Bye, Billie,” he said waved and left, I nearly collapsed laughing.
“What’s so funny?” asked the staff nurse bringing me in a cuppa.
“I think I’ve just convinced my husband that I’m crazy.”
“Is that such a wise thing after a head injury?” she retorted collecting up my dirty dishes.
Oops.
Comments
Crazy?
Wot, Cathy?
Sounds to me like Angharad's had one of those days; either that or someone spiked her tea.
S.
the real question is what are
the real question is what are julie and/or trish up to which they can't do qith cathy at home?
Oops, indeed.... So, she's
Oops, indeed....
So, she's not likely to get out anytime soon, I see. Maybe she'll visit the facility in which Stella lived.
I'll get a life when it's proven and substantiated to be better than what I'm currently experiencing.
My question is:
Is Cathy still suffering from the concussion, or is she just ranting?
May Your Light Forever Shine
Is Cathy doing this on purpose
or did she really scramble her brains a bit when she fell.
Hopefully
Woody, you have raised a very legitimate question - is she doing this on purpose, or did she really scramble her brains a bit? I am not sure, as I raised a similar question in the last episode, and now, even as intelligent as she is, I think those blows to her head did more to her that she really realizes. Before, I had doubts as to the Goddess's involvement in all this, but now????????
Come on episode 2023 and give us some sort of an answer to Cathy's apparent insaneness.
Oh, I forgot. That is one of the main underlying elements in this lovable story, isn't it?
Guess I will just go to bed and pout until tomorrow (hopefully) when this will hopefully be a little closer to be resolved.
Hopefully...
Don't let someone else talk you out of your dreams. How can we have dreams come true, if we have no dreams?
Katrina Gayle "Stormy" Storm
The girl's ...
The girl's possibly going off her trolley. A proper night's sleep might reveal more in the morning. Then the psychiatrists or psychologists can make a more reliable diagnosis. At least with an I-pod or something, she might get through her stay/incarceration without going completely gaga.
Just waiting for the next instalment/dose of bike.
Still lovin' it Ang.
X
Bevs.
Cathy worked...
Cathy worked awful hard to convince Simon it was critical to keep her there at least overnight for observation... That crazy talk... I suspect he's be more willing to an involuntary committing than an early exit after that conversation.
I'm guessing Cathy finally realized that when the nurse tapped her up side the head (figuratively, of course) with it there at the end... Oops, indeed.
Had Cathy acted rationally, I'd not have been surprised to discover that Simon had a second case in the car with exit attire. But, she made that impossible.
Thanks,
Annette
Crazy?
No not at all, Cathy is British, The word we use is eccentric.... Sounds far better don't you think ?
Kirri
Well, she IS rich...
Well, she IS rich...
I'll get a life when it's proven and substantiated to be better than what I'm currently experiencing.