Travis and Cal two offensive linemen came to Bryce’s aid; getting between Bryce’s father and Bryce. “Hey, Bryce, we want you to come celebrate with us. Man you were there for us big time. We have your back.” Bryce saw Travis waving to the girls to come with them and helped Bryce to relax.

Rhonda was fiddling under her clothes and while it caught Bryce’s attention, it confused him. The confusion lasted only until she was back together and she pulled a bra from under her top. They were going to the restaurant up on the highway, where many players and other students would be celebrating.

While Travis drove them in his SUV. He was not quite sure what Karen and Rhonda were helping Bryce nor if he wanted to know. Since Bryce was not developed like girls his age, the help of the bra was limited in what it did for his looks. It took someone like Travis, intentionally looking to see the distinct bumps under the sweater. Karen brushed out his sweaty hair enough to make a semi-attractive ponytail.

Someone picked up Bryce as he came through the door and took him over to where Maynard Hart was sitting at a table. Maynard had showered and changed over to his street clothes. Maynard looked at Bryce and then over to his sister Karen with no telltale sign. If he knew about Bryce, he wasn’t telling others. He gave Bryce a hug and a slap on the back across the back strap and hooks of the bra.

No one became obviously drunk though some of the cokes and other drinks had a kick they usually didn’t have. When Rhonda got there, Bryce gave her his seat. Karen stood up that she might sit on Bryce’s lap, which Bryce was very happy about. Bryce’s eyes scooted from Rhonda to Maynard and back.

The celebration ran late as did Bryce’s arrival back home. But as he got to the house door his mood changed. He quickly opened the door and ran to his room locking his bedroom door behind him. He was rushing to change out of his clothes and get into the shower. His Dad had come to the room and tried to get Bryce to open the door and celebrate with him.

Bryce was soon out of the shower, died off and in a pair of pajamas and a robe, but it was not soon enough. His father was upset and damaged the door to the bedroom before he got in. “Damn son, I just wanted to congratulate you on the game and celebrate with you. We are on the same team, you know!”

Bryce acted as though the door wasn’t damaged nor that his dad was condescending or fairly drunk. “Dad, it has been a long night. I’m glad you’re proud of me. Your defense made the crucial stops when needed and gave us the opportunity to score.”

Bryce sat back letting his father describe his, Bryce’s play, with all the pride of a father. It was interesting to Bryce because his father described in detail what Bryce had done. “Man, son when you carried and almost made it to the goal line, I couldn’t have been more proud of you, if you made it. What an effort, much, much more than we needed or anyone expected. And you hung in there for the touchdown. That was a stroke of genius for the Coach to have Maynard run with the ball and jump over the goal-line for the touchdown. He even gave you part of the credit.”

They talked a little after his dad said most of what he had to say and it was good. His Dad was ready to go to sleep as was Bryce. Though Bryce knew Sara had stayed up to be with him. Dad said in closing, “Don’t plan to sleep in, I want us to go eat breakfast downtown so I can show you off.”

Bryce walked to Sara’s room to see what she wanted. He ended up laying down on her second bed and they visited. She complimented him on the game, but she also asked how he was. She knew how hurt he was before and from that last tackle and the hard hits he had taken knowing that he must feel crippled now. But it was another question that really got them talking, “How many noticed the bra you had on when you came into the diner?”

Bryce says, “Not that many that I’m aware of, but I didn’t do it for others. I did it for me; Elaine helped to win a crucial game.”

Sara joyfully says, “She did that as well as helped them win this game as a team. You should be very proud.” Sara gives her/him a hug. “But you need to be careful, Dad’s only open to seeing it as something Bryce has done. I was happy to hear him say how proud he was of you. I noticed you let him tell it like a proud father.”

They continued to talk, but Bryce fell asleep there; waking up stiff and sore in the morning. His father had come looking for him. “Hey Bryce, get up and get something decent on you’re not going to breakfast with your sister. I don’t want a Foo Foo with me; I want the QB who led us to victory.”

Bryce said, “Dad you don’t have to be derogatory about me.” Dad hits me hard at the back of the head. I walk away to my room to get dressed. Wearing nice designer jeans and a sweatshirt. I brushed out my hair, having it in a ponytail that might be a guy’s or Elaine’s. Dad gives me that look that he’s not fully pleased but good enough.

We get to the restaurant and a number of dads are there along with the usual men, dad meets with. There was a pair of crutches in the back of our vehicle, but dad said no to me using them. So I hobble and Mr. Hart says, “I thought you have a pair of crutches, you should use them. Even if you don’t play next week you should take care of yourself.”

Dad says, “Let’s talk about last night. We’ll find a way to have Bryce ready when the time comes if needed.”

Maynard and Johnny come walking in as we’re ordering. Johnny says, “Bryce, why didn’t you call? We would have picked you up.”

Bryce's dad said, “Because I wanted to make sure he got here.” I said, “Something like that.”

The talk about the game was fun with many contributing, but time and again my dad felt a need to take over the conversation. One old guy, a close friend of my dad spoke up, “The night would have been a whole lot better if someone didn’t have to go on and put a cheerleader’s sweater on.”

Maynard, M, spoke up, “No one wants to take back the play Bryce made, I bet.” Like on cue Travis a lineman came over to our table. He said, “And no one wants the hassle, Bryce. This game wasn’t played twenty years ago and none of you gentlemen were on the field last night.” He turned to my dad, “Coach, you should be awfully proud of Bryce and stand up for him.”

My dad and a few men were upset by now, dad saying, “Hey this is our table. I’m proud of my son. I just want him to be a man, there is nothing wrong with that.” I get up, not sure if I’ll leave or say something. My dad bellows out, “Sit down you’re not going anywhere yet!” He hit the back of my head and I could feel his ring had been turned around for full effect.

“Enough Dad,” I jerk my arm out of his grip, “I’m not going to be the man you want.” With that, I step away from the table and once outside begin to run. Luckily Maynard and Travis catch up to me and give me a ride.

I’m calling Rhonda but no answer, I ask “M, do you know where I can catch up to Karen?”

“I think she’s shopping with her friends; probably at the mall.” He knows I’m frustrated and says, “She’d probably not mind if you caught up with them. Call her and I’ll get you there.”

I’m frustrated and upset; I ask, “Take me home, I want to get out of there before my Dad gets back.”

I’m dropped off at my house and ask them to leave, “You don’t want any part of this.”

Travis and M both tell me, “Don’t do anything crazy.”

I don’t have much in the way of Elaine’s clothes but three changes and some shoes are quickly stuffed in my backpack. With two rides, I make it to Brunswick and catch a bus there. I pull the bus' cord near the road to my Grandma’s town. Grandma loves her grandchildren, but I rarely see her anymore except for holidays. I guess sometime when Sara and I were young she got in a dispute with my Dad. Relations have been strained ever since. Sara and I use to spend a week or two with her and Grandpa. But Grandpa died, and ever since I was twelve the extended stays had stopped.

Sara and I lost the use of the second car after we drove to grandma’s house once on our own.

When I arrived at Grandma’s she was out but I knew how to get into the house. I was in the extra room we usually stayed in. Besides a drink of water and using the toilet I hadn’t disturbed anything. I fell asleep on the bed and slept, except the ringing of the phone woke me up a number of times. I’m guessing my Mom might be one of the callers. It is seven or eight o’clock before Grandma is home. I was sleeping when I woke hearing Grandma answering the phone and saying, “He’s not here Audrene. …No, I’m sure. I will call you if he comes here. Elaine’s clothes, o…”

Grandpa showed me cool hideout when I was a kid. It was off the closet and behind the bathroom in the hall. I put my backpack in there and propped it open for later if needed. Once I bumped into something and grandma heard me. So I sneaked to the hiding spot and cuddled in there. I should have just told her I was there but didn’t. I slept in the hideout. It’s not even four by four and has an eighteen-inch hole where a furnace pipe use to come through. It would be tight but if needed and if someone found the hiding place I could drop to the basement and get away from there.

Come morning Grandma was awake early and I heard her moving around. I had used a bathroom in the middle of the night, actually early morning around 3:00 a.m. I even slept on top of the bed for an hour. I had cupped water in my hands to get a drink. Finally, she came to the room, near the closet. “Bryce, Elaine, I know you are here. Please talk to me and make yourself known. This is scaring me. I’m glad you came here, you know you are safe now…”

I spoke up saying, “Hi Grandma” as I emerged out of the closet holding my backpack with me.

Grandma walked me over to the bed where we sat and talked. She said, “I hear you excited everyone Friday night at the football game. So why scare everyone by running away.” She paused, “And what’s this about Elaine, I thought she used to be your imaginary friend?”

Grandma looked into my backpack pretty sure of what she would find. I was surprised when she pulled out my skirts, panties, and more thinking that she should be alarmed to see. She didn’t show it if she was. She says, “It looks like these could use a trip to the laundry as much as you could use a shower and some food.” She pulled out my phone, saying, “Why don’t you call your Mom and tell her you’re alright?”

“But I won’t be if I go back there.”

Grandma saw some of my bruises and asked, “Are these from football or from home?”

I pulled my shirt off and showed some more bruises. “They’re mostly from football. You won’t believe it but I’ve been the varsity quarterback. The team has made it to the state playoffs but I’ve had it. I am too hurt to play. I should have been too hurt to play this week but they desperately needed me.”

Grandma said, “I might not know everything but I knew about you playing football. I have a few newspaper articles about you and the team. …But you said most of the bruises are from football. That means some are not, tell me about those.”

I say, “Grandma, the worse bruises don’t show, they’re inside. I can’t do enough to please Dad. I helped the team to win games and get back into competition for a playoff game. I got hurt and that wasn’t enough. I want to be a girl, I am a girl. I didn’t mind playing football, but it wasn’t enough. I did it for him. Look even my breasts are bruised from how hard they hit me there.” As I show my grandma, I realize she was not ready for that. I cover myself holding my undershirt in front with my arms folded.

Grandma embraces me in a hug and as I hug her back I am afraid my undershirt will fall. “O dear, I didn’t know you decided you want to be a girl. I am sure that did not go over well with your father. But your mother surely would be there for you.” She could tell by my eyes that was not the case.

“Sara’s my biggest help. I think Mom cares but she won’t go against my father.”

Grandma is upset as she says, “We still need to tell them you’re okay; eventually they’ll come to know where you are. …Call your parents and Sara and then take your shower. We’ll eat and then decide what to do after that.”

I called home and got my Mom and told her I was alright that I would call again soon. I could hear someone there plus my Dad asking for the phone, so I hung up without talking much. I then called Sara, and she said, “Shush.” And then shortly after, “Okay, we can talk. Where are you? Are you really okay?”

“Sis, I’m fine, I’m with someone good and I’m safe. I got here all by myself.” I heard Sara’s door open so I hung up again.

I was feeling guilty, but I was also feeling good and away from being pressured or hurt. The shower was heaven sent. I’ve become personally disgusted with the many bruises I have, but they’re also a testimony to my playing football and not giving up. The extent of the bruising on the back of my legs, my lower back, and my groin area became more significant in the last two games. I’m afraid I’m injured more than I know. The shower helps me to relax some and allows me to move a little more freely.

I began drying myself and got back to the bedroom. There were some clothes, girl clothes on the bed. I suspect they’re Sara’s or a cousin’s. Grandma even put out my panties and bra. I’m soon dressed. I even use a little makeup: a blush, mascara, and lipstick. I then make my way to the kitchen.

Grandma looks at me, “Well you have yourself looking nice and presentable. I can’t say I agree with those black and blue stockings. They don’t look good on a girl.”

I was a bit slow in understanding, but Grandma said, “We’ll look and see if we can find a pair of tights to help show off the shape of your legs. Maybe Grandma could even take you shopping.”

Grandma had made eggs, bacon, and toast and had poured some juice and a glass of water. “There’s hot water for tea if you want.” We talk as we ate and I help her wash the dishes and frying pan.

Then Grandma notices people moving around outside her house. "It looks like we’re going to get visitors.” She says as she points, “Do you see that woman officer over there? She's a Deputy from this county. You might want to scoot down to the basement. Then when people come into the house up here, you use the basement door to give yourself up to her asking for protection.”

She continues, “I don’t know the law but from what you said, you may not want to be placed back under your Father’s care.”

I gave her a hug but say, “Won’t that make trouble for you?”

Grandma unemotionally said, “I’m already under order not to see you unless your parents are with you.” I’m almost to tears because I had not known that. But it was true, I had never seen her in recent years without them around. She always had a reason we could not take a walk or go get a treat like we use to.

I heard people at the door on the front porch and someone else at the back door, as I made my way down to the basement. Grandma had not insisted I do it; it just seemed like a good idea. I heard people ring the doorbell in front and knock at the backdoor. Once I heard a man introduce himself as a State Trooper with a warrant, I opened the basement door. There was this Deputy Sheriff as Grandma had said. I said, “Officer Tiffany, I am Elaine Royce and I am asking for your protection. My parents are forcing me to remain as Bryce Royce. Some of my bruises are from my father and worse are the hurts I have emotionally from being harassed. I have tried to please him.”

Officer Tiffany gave but the lightest smile as she asked me to be still. She did not seem to mind when I continued to walk to her. She asks me, “Who told you what to do and say?” I reached out to her hand and she opened her arms to receive me.

I said to her, “No one, my Grandma Newton told me your name and said, I could trust you.”

Officer Tiffany, tapped her shoulder and spoke, there was one of those microphone things on her shoulder. “I have an Elaine Royce who presented herself to me for protection.”

The first one out the door was my Dad, “How dare you pull that crap young man! Now get over here and let’s get ready to go home. Your Grandmother had no right to help you.”

I turned around in front of Officer Tiffany. “She didn’t help me, I sneaked in yesterday when she wasn’t home! I hid away in the extra room and closet until this morning! Then she told me if I was there I needed to come out.” I paused and took a breath trying to think. “She’s the one who told me I needed to call home to let you know I was safe. She expected me to tell you where I was but I didn’t. I wasn’t ready.”

Officer Tiffany had put out her arm and told my dad to stop where he was. “Elaine has requested protection and help. This will now be a matter for others to help decide.”

Dad said, “He’s my child and I decide what is right for him and our family. Do you see how he embarrasses all of us?”

The Officer wanted to reply as I heard her mumble, as Trooper Reed encouraged everyone to recognize things were now under control. “Your teenager is safe. …Elaine are you willing to go back to the authorities where you live? Or should Deputy Tiffany Reed seek to set up something here in this county?”

Officer Tiffany says, “I think we need to get young Royce someplace to be examined and check out some things she has said. …Mrs. Royce after the examination she will be released from the hospital. Would there be a family member around here that young Royce could stay with? If not human services will determine where young Royce goes for now.”

“My mother is under a restraining order or else she could remain here.”

Tiffany says, “I was thinking if you said it was alright and gave permission. It would be possible for her to come back here.”

My mother looks over to my father then says, “I think that would be fine for the time being.”

I was taken by Deputy Tiffany to Stronghold Regional Medical Center. I found it amusing that my room was in the overflow for OB/GYN. Nurse Morgan said it was because they had the room and enough staff to check on me.

Dr. Patricia Owens came to check on me about an hour after I was situated in my room. She gave me a complete check over, had many blood samples taken and asked many, many questions. Finally, she asked, “Elaine, my understanding is that as an androgynous person you have presented yourself as a boy. So why the sudden change?”

I explained, “I was about eleven when I was told I was androgynous. And it was explained to me then, what that meant. I was thirteen when I started telling people I wanted to be a girl and Dr. Anne Akers finally listened and agreed with me. But my Dad has never accepted that and even before then he was telling me to do as I was told. I have played football because my Dad forced me and to do other activities he wanted.”

“I only found out today that my Grandmother Newton had an injunction against seeing me. Don’t you agree that wasn’t right? A grandchild should be free to see a grandmother.”

Dr. Owens said, “Why did you decide you wanted to be a girl?”

“It might sound strange, but it is not so much a want to be a girl, but that I am a girl. That sounds silly doesn’t it?”

She smiles and said, “Actually no, that does not sound silly. Can you tell me, however, how you came to that conclusion?”

“Well, I identify strongly with my sister, even before I understood who I am. I would take her dolls and other things for myself. My Dad would get upset and even punish me like it was wrong. I know some people are particularly strict about what is guy stuff and activities and for girls. I never saw it that way. But for whatever reason, I always felt having my own doll and some of Sara’s stuffed animals were more important than the punishment. The more I did it the more severe the punishment from my Dad and my Mom.”

Dr. Owens explained, “It is hard to know with certainty that some of the bruising and injuries are from being hit by your Dad instead of football.”

I said, “It sounds like there might be some injuries you believe are from being abused. Do you believe me that emotional abuse can be even worse than the physical injuries?” She was ready to say something when I interrupted and asked: “Can you tell me, are you my doctor or the county or state’s doctor?”

She says, “You are right in thinking I can’t be both. I would like to know if you would want me to be your doctor or not?”

I say, “I would like to know if you believe me or not about my injuries and about being a girl?”

She says, “You are a sharp young person. I am impressed with how intelligent you are.”

I pause thinking she is holding back from giving me answers. I force myself to be patient and stare back at her waiting for her to say more. Finally, “I would like you to be my doctor, but only if you are going to trust me to answer me. I think you believe me and know more than you are saying. I think Dr. Anne would like you too, but she is more professional than I am.”

Dr. Owen says, “Yes, I believe you and would like to be your doctor. Some of my answers need to be confirmed by some tests and further examining. I do not like answering before I know more facts. Can you accept that?”

“Yes, I can. Can I ask you two questions?” I wait hoping she will also say yes, which she does. “One is easy, can I call you Dr. Patricia? The other is harder, at least for me. I wanted to wait another day or two before I told people where I was and I was okay. Was that really bad and mean of me? I wanted people to hurt and wait as I did.”

She says, “Yes, you can call me Dr. Pat or Patricia most of the time. As you said the other question is more difficult. I can understand and appreciate why you thought those things. I am more appreciative that you trusted me to share that. And I don’t think it indicates you’re mean or bad, but human. It also says something about how hurt, you must have felt.”

“I was disappointed, I am not sure if they hurt or felt bad or missed me.” Suddenly I unexpectedly started to cry and I rushed to hug Dr. Patricia. When I was okay I pushed myself back and apologized. “I’m sorry, I didn’t want to cry. Even as a girl I don’t want to be a sissy.”

Dr. Owens said, “You might cry some more as you let your feelings out. I am going to ask for a therapist to meet with you. You know Dr. Aker's office is in Brunswick but she has privileges here. Would you want me to see if she could see you here? Depending on how long your evaluation and any medical concerns keep you here. She might see you while you are still here or while you’re with your Grandmother.”

That was one of the better things I heard today. “Yes that would be really good, but I didn’t know she had her office in Brunswick. I see her at a clinic closer to my home. …Do you think she is a good doctor?”

Dr. Patricia brightens up, “Yes, she is a very good and noted therapist. I am delighted to hear you are one of her patients.” That made me feel extra good.

Dr. Owens ended her checking Elaine, stating, “Tomorrow morning, after I receive the results of the blood tests, I will decide whether other scans or procedures will be beneficial.”

“The Sheriff’s office would like to use an ankle monitor to be sure you do not try to run away again. I agree with Deputy Reed that you are not a significant flight risk. You will be watched closely. I would be pleased if I had your promise that you will not run away.”

I shake my head, “I would have more concern if I thought my father would come in here to hurt me. I would like if he came here that we would not be together without someone from the hospital to be with us.”

Dr. Owens said, “I am leaving and probably won’t see you until tomorrow. I will make a note that any visits from your father are to be with another person present.”

It was after the hospital served supper that Grandma came with a small suitcase. It had a pair of pajamas and two changes of clothes for tomorrow. The clothes are nothing special; except everything had either been Sara’s or belongs to Cousin Heather. “Thanks, Grams.”

I tell my Grandma about Dr. Owens and even the other doctor who came later who also examined me. Dr. Giles was nice enough but I’m glad I asked Patricia Owens to be my doctor. While Grandma is here, Nurse Hopkins comes and tells us, “Dr. Akers, will be here tomorrow at 1:00 a.m. for an appointment with you.”

Grandma and I walk down to the nursery window during our visit. There are five babies in their layettes. Grandma tells me there are two missing that must be in with their mothers. Grandma asks, “Bryce have you ever dreamed about having a baby of your own?”

I’m sad that she asks it of Bryce, so I kind of coughed trying to sound like a girl. She says, “Yes, I was trying to observe who’s listening to me. But that doesn’t tell me if you have or not.”

I bend my head down, “Yes, I will have to adopt, but that will be fine. The baby like me will be needing someone to love her. But when I dream, Elaine is able to have her own babies.” Grandma embraces me saying, “I am sure you will make a great mommy.”

“Grandma, do you really believe me that I’m a girl?”

Grandma has a puzzled look on her face, finally, she says, “I’m pretty sure I’m not supposed to answer questions like that. People might accuse me of trying to influence you.”

“I already believe I am. If I can’t ask a grandparent, who is it safe for me to ask?”

Grandma laughs, I’m sure she knows how absurd it is that she couldn’t answer. She says, “I’m not an expert, just your grandma. I think you’re the best one to know, but yes I think you’re Elaine.”

The next morning, Grandma came shortly after 10:30 in the morning. I guess I was acting pitiful.

“Now, listen young woman, you have been through a lot for a person your age. We now have to tend to you, the little girl who has been ignored.” With that Grandma pulls me in for a big hug. We’re looking almost eye to eye, and it is the first time I am the one a little taller.

“Grammy, look I am a smidgen taller then you are?”

She says, “You are a lot like your sister. Just pray you don’t shoot up and muscle out like a boy. That won’t look very good for Elaine.”

“Surely you’re not your father, oops… Sorry I shouldn't say that.” I could tell Grandma felt bad; I gave her a hug.

The Nurse Collins came in to remind me, “Remember you are seeing Dr. Anne Akers at 1:00 today.”

Grandma says, “That’s where her problems began.” The nurse was on her way out when she stops at hearing that statement.

“Can I ask what you mean by that?”

Grandma, “I shouldn’t say that.” She pauses, knowing she needs to explain. “Dr. Akers is the one with whom Elaine came to accept herself and speak up. That has caused more problems ever since. It might have been better if Bryce believed Elaine was never there.”

Nurse Collins’ says, “It might have caused her to stuff Elaine down inside but a transgendered girl will not go away; it is not something she caught and gets over like the measles.” I’m in the bathroom to get ready to see Dr. Akers.

Story to continue...