Easy As Falling Off A Bike pt 2094

The Daily Dormouse.
(aka Bike, est. 2007)
Part 2094
by Angharad

Copyright © 2013 Angharad
All Rights Reserved.
  
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To say my gast was flabbered would be an understatement. I stared at the paper which my now shaky hand was still holding. It was two hundred and fifty thousand pounds, so the letter said.

I looked closer, one hundred thousand was in shares, the rest was made up of my director’s fees of a hundred thousand and fifty thou for my ecological adviser role.

“What’s to stop me selling the shares?”

“Read the small print.”

I turned the page and discovered what he meant. The hundred thousand in shares was payable over two years and they would be added to my other shares. I was required to hold on to them for a minimum of five years and had to give the bank first option on them if I did decide to sell them. In return, they had to offer me a realistic price for them if I did decide to sell.

“Can these rules be enforced?”

“Yes, you signed a contract–it mentions it in there.”

“You told me to sign it.”

“Since when have you listened to me?”

“I always listen, I just don’t always do what you wish.”

“I had noticed.”

“Your observational skills are obviously improving.”

“My observational skills are fine and always have been. Remember it was I who asked you out because I thought you were one of the sweetest, shyest and most naíve young women, I knew.”

“Some skills you had when you couldn’t spot a boy in a skirt.”

“I couldn’t then and I can’t now. There was no boy in a skirt, just a very beautiful, bashful young lady. I fell in love with her within minutes. She was like no other woman I had ever known.”

“I’ll bet.”

“I’m serious.”

“So am I?”

“You claimed you’d only been in dresses an hour or so.”

“I had, and heels even less time.”

“That explains why you fell for me.”

“I told you, I hitched one of my heels in the hem of my skirt and pitched forward.”

“Ha, a likely story, you were crazy for my body.”

I shook my head. “Okay, you’re quite right, I wanted to ravish your body there and then, but couldn’t in case it frightened Stella.”

“I doubt it would have given one or two things she got into when she was at university.”

“I’m not sure I want to hear about that.”

“Good call, I don’t think I want to tell you if the truth is known.”

“Coffee?”

“Yes please.”

I filled the kettle and switched it on. While I was waiting for it to boil, he came up behind me and wrapped me up in a huge hug. “You had worn skirts before–in school, remember?”

“Yeah, but I wasn’t trying to impress anyone, just piss off the headmaster.”

“And mobilise Macbeth.”

“Yeah, that too.”

“I wish I’d seen it.”

“Why?”

“To compare it to your later effort.”

“I wouldn’t have thought the efforts of schoolboy compared to a mature woman were comparable.”

“I think you mean schoolgirl?” he said as Cindy walked in.

“My mum has just arrived, thank you so much for having me, Auntie Cathy,” she hugged me and kissed me on the cheek. “Uncle Simon,” she pecked him on the cheek too.

“It’s been our pleasure, sweetie,” he replied.

“Indeed it has, you’re welcome anytime, Cindy.”

She dashed over to me and hugged me tightly, “Thank you, so much.”

Trish ended her little embrace by bringing Cindy’s mum into the kitchen. “Got time for a coffee?”

“That would be wonderful, thank you.”

“Mum, can I go with Auntie Cathy and Uncle Simon to their castle in Scotland?”

Brenda looked at me with huge eyes. “Castle?”

“Yeah, look,” she dragged her mother into the hallway where an aerial photo adorned the walls.

“You own a castle? She asked falteringly when she returned for her coffee.

“He does,” I pointed at Simon.

“My family does,” he said trying to pin the blame on his ancestors.

“Uncle Si was telling me he’s the lard of the castle,” said Cindy and I snorted coffee everywhere.

“I think you might mean laird,” corrected her mother.

“Freudian slip or what?” I said quietly to Simon who glared at me.

We settled down and told her the dates we planned to go, though I hadn’t really entirely agreed to go until he had employed a nanny to look after the little ones. We assured her that no great amount of fancy clothing was required, though a party dress suitable for a dance was desirable. Brenda nodded her agreement and Cindy and Trish danced round the table in a way only girls do. I blushed as I recalled doing it, much to my father’s disdain when he agreed to me having a new bike.

About an hour later Cindy and her mother left us. Simon carried her two cases from the house to the car–she had arrived with one but the clothes obviously enjoyed the environment and must have reproduced because there were enough to fill a second bag–an old overnighter of mine.

Danny had been noticeable by his absence and I asked where he was. He’d been in the garden with Tom but had since gone out by himself. I went to my study and called his mobile, he answered on the fourth ring.

“Hi, Mum.”

“Hello, son, where are you?”

“At Peter’s.”

“How is he?”

“He’s up doing his makeup–he’s having a girly day today.”

“And you’re okay with that?”

“Not really, but I did say I’d stay friends with him.”

“I’m proud of you son.”

“Yeah, okay, gotta go.”

“You home for lunch?”

“Nah, I’ll see you later.”

“Okay.” We rang off.

It seemed our conversation had pricked his conscience and I was pleased he could cope with his erstwhile best friend dressing as a girl while he explored his gender expression. It can’t have been easy for a boy who lived in a world where half the boys seemed to want to be girls, but few if any girls wished to be boys.

“Mummy, when we get to the castle can we look for dormice in the woods?”

“They don’t have dormice in Scotland, sweetheart.”

“Why not, they have haggises.”

Simon smirked.

“A haggis isn’t a real animal, it’s part of a sheep.”

“Part of a sheep? Which part?” she looked confused.

“You’ve been chatting with Gramps again?”

“Yes, how d’you know?” As he’s the only one who perpetuates the nonsense about the mince and oatmeal tied up in a sheep’s stomach, it wasn’t hard to work out.

I went to the cellar and brought up her iPad, sending her off to look up haggis on the internet. Ten minutes later she came back making horrible noises. “Eeeuch,” she squeaked, “it’s horrible.” I shrugged by way of an answer and Simon smirked again.

“Nanny,” I said to Simon and he went off to his office to organise someone to organise it. Simon is an expert in delegation, otherwise known as passing the buck.

At dinner, Danny, who’d now returned, was very quiet and he ate a smaller portion than usual. He asked to be excused and went up to his room. I followed him up a little later.

“That bad was it?”

“He’s got a sister but she doesn’t wanna know, not really.”

“I thought you were sweet on her.”

“She’s real bitch to him, glad I let go of her.”

“But he’s got you to talk with?”

“Yeah, but it screws me up a bit. I mean, I still don’t get why he cut his dick off.”

“Neither do I, darling, but sometimes trauma causes us to do strange things.”

“Strange? That was mega-weird.”

“So what did you do?”

“He went off to dress up and we played computer games when he came back.”

“So was that alright?”

“Not really, he looks like a mess in a dress.”

“Most girls do when they first start using makeup.”

“Sorry, Mum, but he ain’t no girl–he’s weird.”

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