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(aka Bike) Part 2064 by Angharad Copyright © 2013 Angharad
All Rights Reserved. |
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While I was downstairs feeding the kitten, I expect we’ll still call her that when she’s about twenty five, I let Kiki out and then fed her. I made myself some tea and sat at the kitchen table thinking–least I think I was–when I had that creepy feeling of being watched. Apparently they can stimulate the same sensation by use of high power magnets. As far as I know we don’t have any of those in the kitchen, other than the strip round the fridge door, and that barely rates high anything.
I spun round quickly nearly swilling tea everywhere and Billie was standing by the door. I could see her, she smiled. “You are special, Mummy,” she said smiled again and faded from view.
I felt shocked. I mean one minute I’m sitting here minding my own business and the next I’m seeing my dead daughter. Maybe I do need to see Dr Thomas. Still musing on that and feeling sad that I’d seen her for so short a time, I wiped up the small amount of tea I’d spilt.
“Ye’re up early?” remarked Tom wandering into the kitchen.
“I’ve fed Kiki,” I said.
“Aye, sae I see.”
“The kitten woke me up and wanted her breakfast.”
“Oh aye,” he muttered pouring himself some coffee.
“Well I needed a wee and she just kept bouncing off the walls once she got me out of bed–so to preserve the peace, I came down and fed her.”
“Aye, ye said.”
“Daddy, just before you came in, I saw Billie.”
“Whaur?”
“By the door, I got this feeling of somebody watching me, it was her when I turned round.”
He looked at me with a strange expression. “Jest noo?”
“Yes, barely five minutes ago. You think I’m cracking up, don’t you?”
“No, ye micht well hae seen her, but it’s unlikely.”
“You think I’m imagining it?”
He shrugged and slurped his coffee.
“She spoke to me.”
“Oh aye, and whit did she say?”
“I went to sleep last night thinking that all this Shekinah business was my unconscious mind creating ways of dealing with the way life has turned out, of dealing with the dramas including losing Billie. I decided that it was all in my head and that I wasn’t special at all, and she just appeared and said, ‘You are special, Mummy.’”
I looked at him but he wasn’t looking at me, he was looking beyond me. “Ye are special.” His expression was flat and his voice sounded distracted.
“Are you okay, Daddy?”
He looked at me and his eyes seemed tearful, “Aye, I’m fine. Ye did see her.”
“How d’you know?” I asked as the penny dropped, “You saw her too?”
“Aye, I did. She has a serenity aboot her.”
“Yes she does, doesn’t she?” I agreed, though I hadn’t really taken that on board until he mentioned it.
“She said my Celia and my Catherine were fine and were proud o’ thae way I look efter ye.”
“I’m glad,” and smiled at him.
“Aye but they’re even more proud o’ thae way ye look efter me.”
I stood up and walked round the table and sat on his lap and hugged him. “We look after each other,” I said although neither of us could stop an occasional tear running down our faces. We hugged for long enough that his coffee went cold then we got on with life as if nothing had happened, possibly both being a little embarrassed by our sentimentality or display of it.
Anne Thomas was able to see me just before lunch. I sat down in her consulting room and she asked me how I was. I burst into tears.
She waited patiently for me to control myself, “Sorry about that,” I said feeling very hot.
“Care to tell me about it?”
“I thought it was a while since I’d seen you and it might be good to get your take on things.”
“Which things?”
“Tom reckons I’m still grieving over Billie. I’ve seen her a few times, or thought I had.”
“I see. Does it give you comfort to see her?”
“In some ways, though I’d love to give her a hug–just hold her once more.” I felt the tears form and drip from my eyes. At least I’d remembered not to wear any makeup so wasn’t leaving trails of black down my cheeks.
“How do you see her?”
“Like I did in life, she looks so well and usually happy unless I’ve done something to upset her.”
“Does she wear the same things?”
“No–I don’t think she does–why?”
“What did she have on last time you saw her?”
“Um,” I racked my remaining brain cell, “I think it was a yellow dress–that’s funny because I don’t ever recall buying her a yellow dress.”
“I think you’ll find it’s gold not yellow.”
“Okay, gold–I still didn’t buy her one that colour.”
“No you didn’t buy this one, she was given it.”
I looked at Dr Thomas and she was looking behind me, I glanced round quickly but couldn’t see anything. Dr Thomas looked back at me and smiled. “She did love you, didn’t she?”
“You saw her?”
“Seems like, if not that was one of the nicest hallucinations I’m ever likely to experience.”
“So I’m not crazy?”
“Not unless I’m in the same state.” Dr Thomas smiled. “She told me to tell you that you’re special–what does that mean?”
“I wish I knew. Tom is always saying it but he doesn’t know why, as if it’s something he doesn’t quite recognise consciously.”
“We all know you’re something very special as an ordinary human being, but I got the distinct impression that this was like some sort of purpose you had to fulfil.”
I shrugged. “I’ve been told this several times but no one seems to know just what that is–it’s very frustrating. It’s like I’m being prepared, but for what? And why me? Why couldn’t whoever, pick an ordinary woman, not one like me?”
“You are an ordinary woman, Cathy. Or rather you are an extraordinary one, considering your route to womanhood, you have made a wonderful mother and wife as well as managing to hang on to your career which is very busy. That you’re also a rather beautiful woman means that people will pay attention to you, though some possibly in ways other than you’d like them to. You are special, but beyond that I can’t say.”
“Why was she wearing a gold dress?” I asked changing the subject.
“Who is this goddess again?”asked Anne Thomas.
“Shekinah–she’s from the Old Testament.”
“Hold on,” she rose from her seat and brought over her iPad upon which she typed in various things. “Got it, I think. Kabbalistically, the colour corresponds to the sphere of Tippharet, on the Queen’s scale.”
“Which means?” I asked as bemused as I was with the quantum stuff last night.
“It’s the sphere at which the traveller gets the first glimpse of the godhead through a veil. It’s tree of life stuff.”
“But I don’t believe in gods of any variety.”
“That doesn’t stop them existing outside your beliefs, does it?”
“So are you telling me, they do and I’m wrong?”
“I’m not telling you anything of the sort, Cathy. We must all believe what we think is appropriate, but I’m saying that the gold corresponds to this sphere.” She passed me her iPad and sure enough the tree thing was displayed with the middle sphere of the middle column being gold. I handed her back the tablet.
“So you don’t think you’re special?”
“Other than being an incomplete woman, why?”
“You have a golden aura all round you–oh now it’s gone.” She shook her head.
“I hope you’re not getting migraine,” I suggested.
“That was so unusual, goodness.”
“What is it?”
“My back, it’s been giving me hell for the last couple of weeks–I pinched a nerve when I was gardening.”
“It’s suddenly got better, has it?”
“Yes,” she looked suspiciously at me.
I shrugged, thanked her and left feeling more confused than ever about everything.
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Comments
No point in being
confused Cathy, If you keep seeing Billie Just accept it, Life will be so much easier if you know your daughter is somewhere nearby
Kirri
I think that Cathy
would be more accepting of the Gifts the Goddess Brings to her if she had more experience at a younger age. If the Goddess had touched her more often as a child, with her gifts.
As I was 12 when the Goddess first healed me, well made the Loss of my father hurt less. It has been easier for me to accept the gifts of the Goddess and Share them with All the Love and Light she has shared with me.
Goddess Bless you
Love Desiree
well, that didn't help much
but nice that she was happy and wearing a gold dress.
Wow, the Goddess seems to be
Wow, the Goddess seems to be making a full-court press to convince Cathy that she is indeed special. Having other people close to Cathy see Billie, and be told that Cathy is special, is a new tactic. Perhaps this is an attempt to get through to Cathy before she has to do something even more extraordinary than what she has already achieved.
Kris
{I leave a trail of Kudos as I browse the site. Be careful where you step!}
Cathy is special
In this episode alone Cathy saw Billie, and heard her speak to her. Tom saw Billie, and heard her speak to him. Dr. Thomas saw Billie, and heard her speak to her. They all told Cathy the same thing: they saw Billie and were told to tell Cathy she is special. Will Simon be next? And what about the Children? Will Billie get them involved also?
And Cathy's confusion at this point is also special. Cathy has already been told by Shekinah that until she understands she can go no further towards what the Shekinah has is mind for her. Sorting out the confusion should help Cathy begin understanding.
Don't let someone else talk you out of your dreams. How can we have dreams come true, if we have no dreams?
Katrina Gayle "Stormy" Storm
Oy, a mass hallucination
Yes, that must be it. :)
Kim
Don' forget Tom also saw his late wife and daughter
And they also sang Cathy's praise.
The old testament goddess must want Cathy for something very special.
Look at the people surrounding her. Heck even Spike the YouTube star dormouse is special.
And most special are her children.
Trish may be a bit of a pain but she can also heal and is off the charts intellectually.
All her kids , family, friends have something special about them. They are also people who were broken in some way or ways but are healing as part of the Greater Cathy Co-prosperity Sphere.
Okay what political organization was that a gross parody of? History buffs are probably groaning in pain as I type,
Read this if you need clarification. It was or main class text for a history course on WWII in the Pacific back in college.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Rising_Sun
John in Wauwatosa
John in Wauwatosa
I unapologetically believe in God
That man has done a poor job in representing him, abominable actually I can not argue with. I've been told that my belief transcends mere religion, and such as it is, there is no need at all to try to persuade others of his existence. It is not my job. Generally, we are supposed to be loving and kind to all we meet and I know a good many people who have a ruction with God, or do not acknowledge him at all who I can not judge. For someone who does not believe in spiritual things, Cathy sure has the experiences.
Gwendolyn
Denying the existence of something
Does't stop it existing. The Goddess might have to use force to make a point.
S.
Spirits,
Spirits and gods and stuff can quite possibly exist just like multiple dimensions can exist in Maths. Just because I don't believe in spirits or goddesses or gods or stuff, doesn't mean they don't exist just as my believing in multiple dimensions doesn't proved they do exist. It's all a very subjective issue and we none of us have the right to disagree upon these issues.
I love Ang's juxtapositions where she declares her own atheistic tendancies and yet lets agnosticism and faith play an important part in Bike. It gives the saga a constantly refreshed edge as the religious issue is constantly bounced between Cathy and the other characters.
Lovely chapter Ang ... lovely saga.
Still lovin' it.
Bevs.
xx