The Daily Dormouse. (aka Bike) Part 2023 by Angharad Copyright © 2013 Angharad All Rights Reserved.

Oops indeed–I hadn’t thought it through when I played with Simon. He’s just a bit gullible–well okay, very gullible where I’m concerned. I lay in bed thinking about what had happened.

Thankfully, the headaches had stopped and the drips had been taken down–I could now hydrate myself and whatever drugs they’d had me on, appeared to have worked and I felt much better.

I had my MP3 player which had an FM radio in it and I sat listening to that, at least I could keep up with what was happening in the world, though any coverage of the Giro was going to be very limited.

I sat lost in my thoughts when I happened to glance over at the corner–there standing with her arms folded and tapping her foot was Billie, looking anything but amused.

“What’s your problem?” I asked.

“You are, that’s what.”

“Why?”

“You do lots of good and milady is really pleased with you, then you go and do silly things and end up in hospital where you play even sillier games. When are you going to grow up, Mummy?”

I glowered at her. “When I need advice from a ten year old, I’ll give you a shout. As for growing up–I hope never–so tell that to wossername.”

She shook her head and just faded away. I immediately felt guilty and had lost a chance to converse with her, which annoyed me–but, I’m not going to be told how to act by a child, even one plugged into wossername. So I now sat there in high dudgeon.

Sometime later the nurse popped her head round the door, “You okay?”

“Not really, I’ve upset pretty well everyone, including my deceased daughter.”

She gave me a funny look, “Right,” she said and closed the door rather too quickly. I suppose she was now convinced I was barmy. They’d left a commode in the room for me, but there was no way I wanted to use something which could smell all night when I could easily walk to the loos. I slipped out of bed and put my slippers on, then wandered down the corridor.

“And where d’you think you’re going?” boomed a voice behind me. I nearly wet myself.

“To the toilet.”

“We put a commode in your room.”

“Would you use one?”

“I don’t need to,” said the amazon in a dark blue uniform.

“Neither do I, so where are the toilets?”

“Go back to your room at once.”

“What?”

“You heard what I said, Mrs Cameron.”

“I will after I’ve been for a wee.”

“You’ll go now,” she stepped towards me.

“If you lay one finger on me I’ll sue you for your pension and your house.”

“Are you threatening me, Mrs Cameron.”

“No, just pointing out consequences.”

“If you don’t want to spend the rest of your life on antipsychotics, you’d better do as you’re told lady.”

“If you don’t want to spend the rest of yours in traction you keep away from me.”

“Oh, I think I can handle a pip-squeak like you.”

“Never underestimate an opponent.” I said this and she did just that, she made a grab at me and I stepped back and took her hand and bent the wrist against the joint, she was soon whimpering to a different tune.

“Let me go or you’ll pay for this.”

“You have no idea who you’re dealing with do you?”

“A rich bitch.”

“Oh you do, with emphasis on the bitch part. Now I’m going to let you go and you’re going to go and do whatever it was you were going to do before you grabbed at me. I am going to go to the loo and then retire to my bed. You have my word on that. If we act like none of this happened, then both of us can continue with our lives–if you wish to make an issue of it, just be warned, you’re not playing with fire. I’ll come back at you with the heat of ten thousand suns and not stop until I’ve scorched everything you hold dear. Your choice.”

I let her go and she immediately tried to hit me, which I parried and stepped away. “I thought you had to have a few functioning brain cells to become a sister–obviously not on current evidence.”

“I’ve got a degree,” she said indignantly.

“That was still an attempt at assault. You’d better apologise quickly or resign. Nursing doesn’t need bullies.”

“I think they’ll believe me against someone with psychotic tendencies.”

“We’ll have to wait and see, won’t we. Just go and write your resignation and you might keep some of your pension.”

“You’re known to be acting strangely–they’ll probably believe me when I say you tried to attack me and I had to hurt you to protect myself–say another head injury.”

“Oh piss off.” I turned and walked away spotting the toilets. She came rushing after me, I simply ducked down and she fell over the top of me hurting her shoulder as she fell. This was going to complicate things but I had to wee and quickly. I ran into the toilet and shut the door. For a moment I couldn’t go–then I managed to and the relief was astonishing. I wiped and washed my hands and went back out to the corridor.

The sister was sitting on the floor with two other nurses with her. “There she is, grab her.”

I just ran for it with one of the nurses in hot pursuit. Not knowing the geography I ended up in a blind alley blocked by the nurse. “Will you call the police please, I wish to prefer charges against that nursing sister for attempted assault.”

The nurse laughed at me. “You wish to prefer charges–she’s the one that got hurt.”

“That’s because my defence was better than her attack.”

“She broken her shoulder.”

“Fine, I’m going after the rest of her through the courts.”

“You are as crazy as they said, aren’t you?”

“If that’s what you think, fine–but crazy or not, I won’t be bullied or assaulted by bullies.”

“You’re lying.”

“She’s not,” an old lady limped her way towards us.

“Go back to bed, Mabel.”

“Sister Gosling attacked her.”

“Had one of your dreams have you, Mabel?” The nurse looked at me and said quietly, “She’s as mad as you are.”

“No I’m not, nor am I deaf,” the old lady continued.

“You’re not in school now, Mabel–and I’m no school girl.”

“It’s a pity, I might have taught you some manners, young woman.”

“Oh, that’s fighting talk, Mabel. One puff of wind and down you’ll go. You don’t wanna break the other hip now do you?”

“I wouldn’t have broken the first one if that horrible woman hadn’t pushed me.”

“What horrible woman?” I asked her, “What Sister Gosling?”

“The very one.”

“Do you have any proof?”

“Just my word against hers–they believed her because I’m old–but I can still do quadratic equations and translate Juvenal.”

The nurse was moving towards the old lady, who limped back a step and nearly fell. I pushed past the nurse and went and helped my ally. It appeared she had the room next to mine–on the way back the energy was flowing through me and into her.

“What are you?” she whispered.

“A friend.”

She let go of me and walked normally. “A good friend–there’s no pain anymore.”

“One good turn deserves another.”

We went back to her room and I helped her into bed, then spotted her mobile phone. “Might I borrow this a moment?”

“Of course,” she said.

Two minutes later, I was explaining to Simon what was happening. “Don’t let them touch you, I’ll be there with the police in twenty minutes.”

“Who was that?”

“My husband–he’s going to bring the cavalry.”

“Oh good-o, I love horses,” she clapped her hands with glee. I grabbed her stick and shoved it through the two door handles of her room. The pounding on the door began.