Part 50

“Oh I’m so exhausted,” I tell Mom. “My feet are killing me.”

Mom smiles at me. “It has been a fairly busy day. So, what do you think of your school and the teachers?”

We have just returned from my new school’s back-to-school night.

“I’m glad Chelsea was there. She’s pretty nice. The teachers seem nice, too–though I’m not thrilled that I have to go to a regular school. I still think I could join some clubs or something and get the socialization skills you and Dad want me to get; I don’t see why I need to get them in high school.”

“Well, your Father and I think it’s important so you’re going. Don’t worry, honey, you made Chelsea as a friend quick enough, you’ll make more just as easily.”

“I hope you’re right.”

“You’ll be just fine, honey. Now what do you want for dinner? It’s just you and I so I thought we’d order in. Ellen and Jack are off together and your Father has your brothers at their martial arts expo thingy.”

“Oh, you know me: I’ll eat just about anything. Thai sounds good to me, though.”

“Okay, Thai it is. I’ll place the order, you check the messages.”

After Mom gets off the phone I say, “Just two messages. Doctor Martin got the MRI report back and wanted to let us know that everything looks normal and will forward the results to Amanda. She also warned me again about pushing myself to get back into shape too fast.

“The other message is from Ellen. She and Jack decided to extend their drive and found a cute little Bed and Breakfast up the coast to stop at. They’ll be back tomorrow. The B and B info is in there too.

“They’re getting real serious. Want to place a bet on when Jack will pop the question?”

“No I don’t. It’s none of our business. Jack is a very nice young man and I think he’s good for your sister.”

“Oh, I couldn’t agree more. It is kind of fun to watch the two of them moon over each other, though.”

“Kind of like you and Robbyn, hmm?”

I blush, Mom chuckles.

“I’m glad Doctor Martin called with the results of the MRI. That is good news. Hopefully Amanda will be able to help you with your memory problems.”

“I hope so, too. It’s so weird to be going along with a thought then–well it’s like suddenly having the lights go out when you’re walking across a room. Suddenly you have no idea where you are. It’s kinda like that.

“Amanda is teaching me some relaxation techniques and I think she’s going to try hypnosis on me soon. Maybe we can find out what’s causing this.”

“I’m sure you will, honey. Now why don’t we go change then how about we see if there’s a good movie on to watch?”

“Sounds like a plan to me.”

A few hours later, Mom and I are curled up on the couch watching the final credits for ‘Breakfast at Tiffany’s’ roll across the screen.

“What a terribly sad movie,” I say. “It had a happy ending, though. I’m glad they found the cat.”

“That’s always been one of my favorite movies. Of course, I love all of Audrey Hepburn’s movies. I can’t think of a bad one she made.”

“She was so beautiful.”

“Yes she was.”

“Mom, can I ask you something?”

“Anything, honey, what’s up?”

“I’m not complaining or anything, but it’s about me and Robbyn. I can’t tell you how nice the reaction you and Dad have to us is, but I don’t really understand it. You know, most parents would freak if they found out their child was in a same sex relationship. You guys didn’t, you barely blinked. I don’t get it.”

“This is kind of coming up a bit late isn’t it? Never mind, let me see if I can answer that for you. I suppose I could say that it’s your life to lead and your Father’s and my jobs are to guide you, not push you along a path of our choosing and that would be true enough. But that’s not completely it. We’ve never really told you how your Father and I met, have we?”

“No, just that you two met over in Ireland.”

“Well, this is going to cover a bit of early family history as well as explain why I’ve told you so many times to protect your friendship with Robbyn above all else. You two have a very special friendship that I hope you never lose.

“So, where to start? I guess it’ll be when I was just sixteen. Your grandfather got transferred to Ireland and we all moved over. It was a grand adventure for me. I was very excited at the prospect.

“Now you’d think I would have been upset to leave my friends but you see I really didn’t have any friends, certainly not anything like what you and Robbyn have. I was terribly shy growing up and we moved just about every other year or so. I soon learned that it was hardly worth making a new friend if we’d be moving away before the friendship could even start.”

“Is that why you and Dad have the ‘no moving while we’re in high school’ rule?”

“Pretty much, yes. So off we go to the Emerald Isle. We knew that this was going to be for at least two years and maybe even longer. I was thinking how nice an adventure this would be.”

At this point the front door opens and my overly loud brothers come charging in followed by my much quieter Dad.

“Mom, mom, you guys should have gone with us,” says Mark.

“It was so cool,” adds Bill.

They then spend the next twenty minutes detailing everything they saw.

“Okay, you guys,” says Mom. “It sounds like you had a ton of fun, but you need to go get your snack then start to get ready for bed.”

They take off to the kitchen and Dad says, “It really was fun. It’s a shame you two had to miss it. I’ve got some work to do so I’ll be in my office.”

“Okay dear. Alex and I are just having some girl time.”

“Well I leave you two alone then.”

Dad leans down and gives Mom a kiss then gives me a quick kiss on top of my head.

“Later, you two.”

After watching the two of them, I start to chuckle.

Mom asks, “What’s so funny?”

“You two. I was just thinking that the two of you look at each other the same way I see Ellen and Jack look at each other. It’s cute.”

“I love your Father very much. Hum, maybe Jack is the one for your sister. Anyway, where were we before the circus hit town?”

“You were just starting your adventure in Ireland.”

“Ah yes. So off we move to Ireland. Your Grandfather worked in Dublin, but we lived just north of there in a place called Swords. We got a nice little house, and I do mean little. Your Grandfather was a tall man and he was constantly hitting his head on things. We used to call the place, ‘The Mouse House’. Mom, your Grandmother, had her garden and was happy. She loved her roses and this place had roses everywhere.

“We got settled and soon met our new neighbors, the Conners.”

“Dad and his family?”

“The same, although I didn’t meet your Father for some time. He was off at University. No, I first met your aunt, his sister Deidre. Your Aunt Dee was fourteen, almost fifteen when we met and for the first time in my life, I felt that I had a true friend. We instantly liked each other and almost from the start we were inseparable. If I wasn’t at her house, she was at mine. After only a few short weeks we even swore blood oaths together.”

Mom shows me a very faint scar on her hand which causes me to look at mine.

“You too?” Mom asks with a smile.

I nod my head and smile back.

“Well, I suppose that kids have been doing that throughout history. As I said, we became fast friends and so did our parents. For us girls, it was like we suddenly had two extra parents. Keep in mind that I still hadn’t met your Father yet. That wouldn’t happen for another year.

“That first year, Dee’s and my friendship grew and grew until we finally–well until we became lovers as well as friends.”

“Wha…you and Aunt Dee?”

“Yes, me and your aunt. We loved each other very much. You and Robbyn remind me so much of that time.”

“What happened?”

“A bit more than a year after we had moved there, I was about to finish up my primary education, high school that is, and was thinking I might even go to Trinity College there in Dublin.

“Mom and Dad, your grandparents were on a drive, taking a little holiday up north. I was to be staying with the Conners for the next week while they were away. Their third night away, we received word that they were in a traffic accident and both had died.

“That time is still a blur in my memory. Now I was in a bit of a predicament, see here I was an American citizen whose parents had just died. Normally I’d be sent off to my next of kin, but the thing is, I didn’t have any. So where was I to go?

“Your grandparents said that they’d take me in. I was close to graduating and was less than a year away from turning eighteen and being legally an adult. After a ton of work on your grandparents’ part, they were able to convince the Embassy to let me stay with them.

“It was also at this time that your Father finally came home from University, having graduated early.”

Mom was very quiet at this point. I could tell she was deep in the past so I kept quiet. After a few minutes, Mom shakes her head and gives me a smile.

“Sorry, got wrapped up in my memories there. Now where was I?”

“Dad came home.”

“Ah yes, your Father. I’ve heard people say that they don’t believe in love at first sight. I can tell you that it really does happen. Now keep in mind that Dee and I were very much in love. To this day I know it truly was love, but when I first saw your Father…

“Dee and I had been out running errands or something and when we went into the house, I noticed someone was in the kitchen talking to your grandparents. Dee immediately shouted out, “Robert!” and ran to him and flung herself into his arms.

“When they finally broke apart and your Father looked up–well when his eyes met mine, I found that I couldn’t breathe. I mean I literally could not breathe. All I did was just fall into those green eyes of his. All the while something inside of me was telling me that this was my missing half, no, not telling me, singing it to me.

“Oh I know this sounds incredible and something out of the movies, but it’s exactly how it happened. Your Father tells me that he felt the same way too. So there I am, staring at him, not breathing, and he comes over to greet me.

“I started to feel light-headed and staggered a bit, your Father caught my arm and suddenly I could breathe again. No one else seemed to notice anything, but your Father and I looked at each other and we both knew that we were meant for each other.

Neither one of us said or did anything about our feelings. In fact, for awhile there I tried to convince myself that I was wrong. Of course that only lasted until the next time I laid eyes on your Father again. Lordy, I was smitten.” Chuckling, Mom adds, “I still am. I still feel the same ‘zing’ every time I look at your Father.

“Your Father, Dee and myself were always together unless something like school forced us apart. I suppose that the time your Father and I spent denying our love for each other actually helped things. Instead of starting out as lovers, we became friends instead.

“We continued like this for some time–until about three months after I graduated school. I remember being very excited that I’d be going to Trinity College and would be close to my new family. My only worry was what was going to happen between Robert and me and between Dee and me. I just didn’t know what to do. I loved them both but I needed to be with your Father. That was the path I felt was for me. I could also tell that denying our feelings for each other was also causing both of us pain.

“It all came to a head one dark and stormy night. Okay, it was the evening and it really wasn’t that stormy but it was raining. See we all had planned to go to the theater to watch a show when I stepped in a hole and sprained my ankle. It swelled up like a balloon and I was confined to the couch.

“Dee and your grandmother really wanted to see the show so your grandfather took them and your Father stayed with me to fetch and carry. Your Father had knelt down next to the couch to place a pillow under my leg. When he looked up, our eyes met and the next thing we knew we were in each other’s arms.

“From that point on, your Father and I could no longer deny how we felt for each other. I talked to your Father about how we should deal with Dee and the relationship we had. It wasn’t easy to confess this to your Father but he had to know. Part of the difficulty was their family being Catholic and homosexuality being a sin in the eyes of the church. But even though your grandparents were very devout, your Father wasn’t so I felt it was safe to tell him. That, and he and Dee loved each other very much.

“We spent the next month or so, sneaking brief bits of time for each other, trying to find the best way to tell Dee so we could fully express our relationship.

It all came to a head one night. Your grandparents went out for a show and Dee had left for something at school, leaving your Father and I alone.

“I suppose we should have known that we wouldn’t be able to keep things secret indefinitely, but we were young. Anyway, your Father and I were, shall I say, concentrating on each other to the exclusion of all else, when Dee walked in on us.

“The shock of seeing us together and in such an intimate way was very hard on Dee and she started yelling and crying. Unknown to any of us, your grandparents came home early as well. They heard the yelling and came to see what was going on. They also heard Dee and I discussing our relationship.

“Well, that brought your grandfather into the argument to the shock of all of us and he blamed me for corrupting Dee, your Father and most of Ireland by the sound of him. Your Father defended me and he and your grandfather had a terrible argument. During all of this, Dee ran away and I was thrown out of the house.

“Dee was shortly found by your grandfather and well, was shipped off to ‘cure’ her of the gay. Your Father refused your grandfather’s demands that he not see me anymore, so he was promptly thrown out too–the damned pigheaded Irishman.

“Your Father and I moved down to Dublin and we married as soon as we could. I had quite a bit of money from my inheritance so we weren’t hurting any. About a year later, we heard that your aunt tried to kill herself, partly I’m sure from the guilt the church and your grandfather in particular placed on her for the relationship she and I had.

“Her attempt though, snapped something in your grandfather. He became quieter, more understanding of your aunt, but even more protective. The incident also allowed your Father and your aunt to reconcile though he and your grandfather haven’t spoken since the night we were thrown out and your aunt still won’t talk to me. My betrayal went too deep, I suppose.”

I look up at Mom from where I am tucked under her arm.

“That’s so sad, Mom. Has she told Dad why she won’t talk to you?”

“No, she refuses to talk about it at all. So, now you know the family secret on how your Father and I met. I hope you see why I’ve been saying to keep your friendship as the primary part of your relationship with Robbyn. Even if one or both of you find someone else, then you’ll still have your friendship.”

“We will, Mom. Does Ellen know all this too?”

“A little bit of the story, not everything. She hasn’t needed to know. I thought you did.”

“Thanks for telling me, Mom. I still don’t get why Aunt Dee won’t talk to you. It’s been such a long time, she can’t still be mad, can she?”

“It’s been almost twenty years and I guess she is.”

I give Mom a big hug. “I’m sorry, Mom. I love you.”

Kissing me on the top of my head, Mom hugs me back and says, “I love you too, baby.”

* * *

The next day I’m sitting at the kitchen table finishing up my lunch and flipping through Dad’s old photo albums that Mom has found.

When Mom and Dad say that I look like Aunt Dee did at my age, they aren’t kidding. If anything they understate it. Looking at pictures of Aunt Dee is like looking at pictures of myself. The one showing Aunt Dee and Mom together is really spooky. It looks like a picture of Ellen and me.

“Hey, whatcha lookin’ at?”

Startled, I look up and there’s Ellen. Having been just concentrating on the picture of Mom and Dee I’m a bit disorientated.

“What?”

“I asked what you were looking at. Are you okay?”

“Oh, I’m fine. Just off in la-la land and looking at some old photos. Here, take a look.” I show her the photo of Mom and Dee.

“Where did we…hey, that’s Mom! Wow, this could be a picture of the two of us.”

“My thoughts exactly. Look at this one of Aunt Dee and tell me we don’t look the same.”

Ellen takes the photo and looks at it, then at me, then back to the photo.

“It’s really uncanny. Your nose is different and you’re a bit different around the mouth, but not by much.”

“Do you remember her?”

“Hmm, not really. I was only about four or so when we moved to Thailand. I kinda have images of Ireland in my head, but not of anyone in particular. Why the sudden interest?”

“Oh, I don’t know. Awhile back I asked Mom if I was adopted ’cause I really don’t look like either her or Dad very much. At the time, Mom couldn’t find these albums but said that I did look like Aunt Dee. I didn’t realize how much until I started going through these. It also got me to thinking that it’d be kinda nice to have some more family.

“I know that Dad and Grandfather had a big fight long ago, but it’s been like forever and family is important. I never really realized how important until, well–since that happened. Do you think we could do something to help patch things up?”

“Gee, sis, I don’t know. I’ve tried to talk about Granddad before and Dad refuses to say anything. As long as this has been going on, I don’t know what we could do. Anything we do may just make things worse.”

“Maybe you’re right. Say, how was your little road trip?”

The look on Ellen’s face almost gets me to laughing. She has such a wistful, faraway look.

Sighing, Ellen says, “It was very nice.”

Getting up, I go around the table and give her a big hug.

“What’s that for?”

“I’m just really happy for you.”

With a confused little chuckle, Ellen says, “Thanks.”

* * *

“Hey, Dad.”

Dad looks up from his work table. “Hello, princess, what’s up?”

“I was wondering if you had the Dempsey’s contact information. I never did update it in my laptop and wanted to send them a note thanking them for coming out here.”

“Sure, just a minute and I’ll get it for you.”

“Oh, you don’t need to get up, if it’s in your address book, I can get it.”

“Okay, I think I’m still logged in.”

“Yup, you are.”

I quickly pull up Dad’s contact list and four clicks of the mouse later, the address information I want prints out. Closing out of the contacts program, I grab the printout.”

“Thanks, Dad. Say, I’m going to the kitchen, do you want anything?”

“No thank you, honey. I’m almost done and will be coming out in a bit.”

“Okay then,” and I take off and run up to my room.

Gee, that went a lot easier than I thought it would. Sitting down at my computer, I start to compose my e-mail:

Dear Aunt Dee,

I hope you don’t just delete this. My name is Alexandra Conners, I’m your niece.

We’ve never met but I’ve heard a lot about you and we seem to be very much alike. I’ve attached a recent picture of me so you can see that at least physically, we are almost twins.

I’d like the opportunity to correspond with you but will understand if you would rather not.

Please write back.

Love,

Alexandra (Alex) Olivia Conners
xxooxxoo

PS: Mom and Dad don’t know I’m writing you.

Well, all I can do now is wait and hope I’m doing the right thing.

* * *

“Ooohh, I don’t feel well.”

Mom comes over and feels my forehead and gives me a good look.

“What’s wrong, honey?”

“I’m sick, I think I need to go back to bed.”

“How are you sick, baby? Could it be ‘first day of school flu’?”

“Can I lie?”

“No.”

“Then I refuse to answer on the grounds it might make me go to school.”

Chuckling, Mom says, “I thought that might be it.”

Putting my head on the table, I ask “Are you sure I can’t stay home? If you let me stay home I’ll give you a dollar.”

“Save your dollar, honey, you’ll need it for lunch.”

“Okay, two dollars but I can’t go much higher than that.”

“Come on, eat your breakfast. Really, honey, you’ll be just fine.”

“I don’t know about that. They have an absolutely horrid custom that Chelsea was telling me about. They make the new kids stand up in morning assembly and point them out to everyone.”

“What’s so wrong with that?”

“Oh, Mother, you know what’s going to happen, they’re going to call my name, I’m going to stand up and either throw up or pass out. With my luck I’ll do both. That’ll be a great first impression. I’m sure I’ll be the most popular girl in school after that.”

Mom just chuckles at me in reply.

“Harrumph.”

Bill pipes up, “Hey, sis, you’ll be fine.”

“Thanks, squirt. Mom, the least they could have done was to let us wear normal clothing instead of this uniform.”

“What’s wrong with the uniform? I think it looks rather cute.”

“Mom, I look like I fell out of some Japanese wet dream comic.”

“No,” says Bill, “the girls in the Manga books have bigger boobs and longer hair.”

“William Conners, watch your language!”

“Oops, sorry, Mom. I’m ah, going to um, see what’s taking Mark so long.”

Bill gets up and practically runs from the room. I can’t hold it back any longer and start laughing.

With a mock glare at me, Mom says, “Stop your laughing young lady and finish your breakfast. We need to get moving if we’re going to get you to school on time.”