Part 49

Journal Entry: August 18^th

The past few nights have been great. Okay, maybe not great, but they’ve been a bunch better. (Try saying that three times quickly).

I’m still having nightmares but they aren’t nearly as bad as they have been and there have even been times that I don’t fully wake up from them. Amanda says that’s a very good sign.

When I first told Amanda about all of this, she was very happy but said it didn’t surprise her that much. See, when I’m sleeping with Robbyn tucked into me, I have the control, or something like that. She tried to explain to me why I keep reliving what happened and why having Robbyn tucked into me helps and why even though I know consciously that I’m safe and at home, the trauma of what I went through is still very much present in my subconscious.

There are things I need to come to terms with regarding my abduction that will allow the past to finally BE the past at all levels. Of course the big trick is finding those things, and then coming to terms with them. That’s why I see Amanda.

I have a feeling that I’m going to be seeing Amanda for a very loooonnnng time. That’s okay: I like her, even when I want to thwack her. For a small Puerto Rican woman, she can play the part of a Chinese Zen master very well.

For instance: yesterday at our appointment, I started whining about how this past year has been the worst year of my life and that I wanted a ‘do over’. Amanda’s response was that even though I’ve had some horrible experiences, this past year also gave me Robbyn, allowed me to discover my true self and has given me opportunities that I couldn’t have imagined a year ago.

All of that is true but I was just wanting some sympathy and to feel sorry for myself for awhile. Amanda is great on the sympathy part but won’t let me get away with a feeling sorry for myself jag for very long. That’s probably a good thing.

I’ll write more later. Mom just called up and said that PJ is stopping by in a little bit. It’ll be great to see her.

Ciao.

End Journal Entry

Robbyn and I are in the kitchen making smoothies when the doorbell rings. Robbyn gives my hand a pat as I cringe.

“That’s not getting any better, is it?”

“Oh, it’s a little better–maybe.”

“Liar. I’ve see you flinch every time that goes off and if the door is unlocked, you rush over to lock it.”

“Okay, so that’s not getting better, but it will, I’m sure of it.”

With a sigh, Robbyn gives me a quick hug then turns back to the blender.

“So what else do you want in this thing?”

“Hmm, let’s add just a dash of cran-apple juice then some ice.”

As we’re mixing the smoothie, Mom and PJ walk into the kitchen.

“PJ!” I yell over the sound of the blender. I rush over and give her a quick hug.

Robbyn shuts off the blender and says, “Hi, PJ. Want a smoothie? We made a lot.”

“Hi, Robbyn. Sure, I’ll have a glass. How are you doing, Alex?”

“Every day is a little bit better than the previous one so I can’t complain too much. Thank you for the flowers by the way, they were lovely. What brings you out here?”

Robbyn and I pass out the smoothies and we all head out onto the back porch.

“I came to ask you if you’d care to do an interview.”

“No. Gee, that was easy. Now to change the subject, I got the July accounting last week for the Nike commercial and all I can say is, ‘Wow’. It’s certainly a bunch more than I thought I’d be getting. Also, I really want to thank Nike for adding my missing person info onto the end of my commercial. Would I send that to Mr. Julian or someone else?”

“You can send it to Alfred, he can pass it along. Now before you answer too quickly on doing the interview, hear me out.”

Mom interrupts, “PJ, on this, there is no debate. If Alex says no, then it’s no.”

“Fine, I respect that, really I do, but I think you need to hear about this.”

Sighing I say, “Okay, PJ, I’ll hear you out, but Dad already talked to the news for that interview and he made it real clear that I didn’t want to talk to anyone.”

“Yes he did. And if you noticed, you haven’t been bugged too much. You’re a fifteen-year-old girl who went through a harrowing experience and they respect that. Even if they didn’t, they’d be torn apart by the public outcry if they violated your wishes. But that may change over time, no scratch that, it will change over time.

“If an interview is to be done, we should do it on our terms where we can control everything about it. It would then make it a null-topic for anyone to pursue and you’d be left alone. Also consider this, you want to thank some people, this will give you the forum to thank everyone on national TV.”

“Oh man, you know how much I hate being the center of attention and this is really not a happy topic for me to discuss. I’d just as soon forget it ever happened and get on with my life.”

“I know, Alex, and believe me I’ve been turning people away. I’m just not sure how much longer some will continue to take no for an answer. That, and this looks like one of the better deals so far.”

“Yuck, okay, let’s hear it. I’m not saying yes, but we might as well hear what you have to say.”

“Okay, this would be a fifteen-minute interview segment on the ‘Ellen Show’. It’s national and they want to do it next week. An interview with them was being discussed even before the abduction to talk about your Parkour and that will still be a big part of the segment.”

“Wow, the ‘Ellen Show’, I love her and isn’t that awful short notice?”

“Not necessarily, but I have been putting them off in this case. We’ll get a copy of all questions prior to the show and can veto any we don’t want. You’ll also be given the opportunity to thank those that you want to thank. So, what do you think?”

“I’m not sure. Mom, what do you think?”

“That the final decision is yours. That being said, I’d just as soon you not have to do an interview, but if you do, this would probably be the best one to have. If you don’t want to do it, fine, we’ll deal with any reporters if and when they show. It has been fairly quiet but we do get phone calls. I’ve just been referring them to PJ.”

“Hmm,” I say then just stare off into space, drinking my smoothie and thinking.

After a few minutes I announce, “I’ll do it. I have a bad feeling about this, but I get bad feelings about just pretty much everything these days. They need to understand that if I don’t want to answer a question, I won’t. If they keep asking I just get up and walk away, okay?”

“I’ll make that very clear. There will also be front row seats for your entire family if everyone wants to come. Robbyn, you’ll be going won’t you?”

“No, dang it. I have to fly back home on Saturday.”

“Aw, that’s too bad.”

“Tell me about it.”

“Anyway, Alex, they were talking about doing this on Wednesday. Could you guys make it?”

“Mom?”

“I don’t see a problem with that. What time do we need to be there?”

“Let me call them right now and finalize things and I’ll get you that information.”

While PJ steps away to make her phone calls, I turn to Mom.

“Mom, am I doing the right thing?”

“I don’t know, honey. It’s a valid point that this might take care of further inquiries. Unfortunately, I can also see it encouraging them. If you don’t want to do this, say so. Your peace of mind is the determining factor here. I don’t want any undue stress for you. Lord knows you don’t need any more.”

“Well as much as I’d like to, I guess I can’t hide forever. PJ is right, I think that this will be the best way to get it over with and to thank people.”

“You may be right, honey, but it has only been a few weeks, don’t push yourself.”

“I won’t, Mom.”

PJ comes back and says, “Okay, if you can be down at the studio by eleven, we’ll grab a quick lunch then get ready for the show. I’ll be there too, I want to make sure everything goes okay.”

“Thank you, PJ,” says Mom. “I hope you’re right and this will put an end to things.”

After PJ leaves, Robbyn and I change into our suits and go out to the pool. Feeling very needy, I practically glue myself to Robbyn’s hip. Thank goodness we have oversized lounge chairs or I’d have been in trouble. Robbyn doesn’t seem to mind.

“You’re upset,” says Robbyn. “Is it this show they want you to do?”

“No, at least not mainly. You’re leaving in just three days. I don’t know what I’m going to do without you here.”

“Oh, Alex, I don’t want to go, either.”

With that, we both hold onto each other’s hands and lean into each other.

After about ten minutes of quality feeling sorry for ourselves, I give myself a shake and say, “Okay, enough of that. I refuse to have the last little bit of my time with you ruined by a black mood, no matter how justified.”

I stand up and pull Robbyn up with me.

“Come on, you.”

A very pouty-faced Robbyn replies, “What, where are we going?”

As soon as we’re right at the edge of the pool, I grab her tight and fall into the pool.

“Just in the pool.”

“Alex, no! Eeeeek!”

That kicks off a laughing, splashing, dunking and tickling bout that leaves us both breathless and feeling much better.

Afterwards, I’m stretched out on the towel next to the pool and Robbyn is rubbing lotion into my back.

“Alex, what kind of lotion is this anyway? This stuff is so thick it’s almost a solid. It’s taking forever to rub it in. I’m not complaining mind you, but I’ve never seen anything like it before.”

“Mmm, that feels nice. It’s a special cream to help my scars to disappear. It also has something like an SPF Gazillion in it too, ’cause scars darken in sunlight. I gotta say my skin’s never felt this soft before.”

“That’s for sure. Hmm, maybe I should get some.”

“Oh god that feels good. You give a good massage, girlfriend.”

“Why thank you, we aim to please. Want to know something?”

“Hmm?”

“You’re hardly twitching while I do it.”

“Hmm. I have a theory, want to hear it?”

“’Bout what?”

“Well I told you that Amanda feels that this is all a subconscious reaction to the trauma I endured, right?”

“Yeah.”

“So my theory is, if negative touching forced my subconscious to react in the way it has, why can’t we teach it the opposite? What if we show that stupid ol’ subconscious that there’s some awful nice touching out there?”

“You mean…?”

“Um, yeah.”

“I’ve been so afraid to…you’ve been so sensitive, that I…”

“I know, but I want to try. You?”

“Oh, yes. Tonight?”

Before I can respond we hear “Cannonball!” immediately followed by both of us getting drenched by what news reports will later call a highly localized tidal wave in the San Mateo area.

Robbyn and I, along with both of our towels are absolutely soaked. Bill and Mark are laughing and saying, “Come on you guys, let’s play!”

“Oh, we’ll play all right,” I say as I shake the water off my face, “but it’s going to be a new game.”

“What is it?”

“It’s called ‘Is there life after death?’ Let’s find out.”

At that, Robbyn and I dive in and chase after the boys.”

* * *

Journal Entry: August 23^rd

Bummer, disappointment, frustration, melancholy, depression. All of these words fail to come close to describing the past two days. You see, Robbyn is back home now and I miss her terribly. We’re constantly on the phone with each other, but that’s hardly a substitute for having her here with me.

There is some good news about all of this. See, Robbyn will be moving out here and real soon too. We still don’t know if her dad will be going to Stanford or UCLA but he will for sure be going to one of them.

Now granted, Stanford is the top choice and we’re all praying that it will come through but even if it’s UCLA, that is still a ton better than having her clear out on the East coast. So…Stanford, Stanford, Stanford, Stanford. Come on, everybody now, let’s keep them positive waves a comin’!

Now for some more good news. My nightmares have noticeably decreased. Now don’t get me wrong, I still get them, they’re just not as powerful as they were and they don’t come as often. I was really worried that they’d really kick back in after Robbyn left but so far, so good. Okay, I’m sleeping with the lights on and the radio going, but at least my sleeping is better. Maybe I’ll have Dad put a dimmer switch in my room and I can slowly start to darken it a bit more each night. Hmm, something to think about at least.

Additionally, I can be touched without having my skin twitching all over the place and even hugs don’t freak me out like they used to.

Before we go out and throw a party over my miraculous recovery, I’m still far from fully cured. I do still get nightmares and though hugs don’t freak me out like they used to, I really can’t stand to be held like before and my nerves are still on a hair trigger, too.

I credit Robbyn and our little experiment for much of the cure. Amanda says that it was natural for things to improve as I accept more and more that I am safe again. She did concede that Robbyn probably DID help if by nothing else accelerating the process a bit. She said that she’ll take progress however it comes. Believe me, I came…ooh I didn’t just say that! Tee-hee, see, I’m not all doom and gloom right now.

On a more serious note, there are more problems popping up here and there. Apparently PTSD can and does manifest itself in everyone differently. For me, it seems that it’s doing something, or has done something to my memory. Now don’t ask me what, because if I knew, then it wouldn’t be a problem. It’s like I have holes in my memory and then it’s like I’ll have memories of things that didn’t happen.

This is causing Amanda a bit of concern and we spent all of our session today working on it. We’re trying to determine if these memory issues are just being discovered or if they are new manifestations. Apparently the difference between the two will determine how worried Amanda–and by extension myself–should get.

One of the things Amanda wants to try is hypnosis. Not sure how much of that I believe in, but if I start walking around clucking like a chicken you’ll know it works.

On a ‘maybe’ lighter note, tomorrow the entire family is driving down to L.A. to be with me when I do the ‘Ellen Show’. I have mixed feelings about doing this interview and am really glad that everyone will be there with me.

When I did the interview after Elizabeth’s rescue, everything did quiet down and that’s what we’re hoping will happen this time. I’ve got to say however, that I do have a bad feeling about this, but lately I get bad feelings about my choice of lunch, so that’s not something to really go by.

Anyway, we’ll all drive down tomorrow and spend the rest of the day relaxing, then on Wednesday I’ll do the show and we’ll drive back home that night.

Well, that’s about it...oh no it isn’t. I almost forgot. Yesterday, Ellen and Jack dragged me out for a walk. Let me tell you I was just a tad nervous but unless my plan is to turn into a hermit, I really need to get out more. Anyway, while we were out, Dad installed a new doorbell. He said he just couldn’t take seeing me jump every time it rang. Isn’t he just the sweetest Dad ever?

Okay, now I’m done. I’ll let you know how the interview goes.

Do Svidaniya (That’s Russian for ‘Bye’. I’m trying to figure out what other language to take. ^_^)

End Journal Entry

“Stop that.”

I look up at PJ and raise my eyebrows in question.

“Stop biting your fingernails.”

I quickly stop and check my polish.

“Sorry. You know I never used to do that. I’m really trying to stop but…” and I shrug my shoulders.

“Nervous?”

“That doesn’t even come close. I hate doing these things.”

“Try to relax. You’ll be fine and this should be an easy interview. If it’s any consolation, your nerves don’t show. Being nervous is fine so long as you don’t let it control you. I wish I could teach some of my other clients how to be or at least to look as calm as you do.”

“I am not calm. I feel like I’m holding on to a live wire.”

“Like I said, it doesn’t show. If it gets too bad, just look up to the audience. All your family will be right there in the first row, they’ll keep you calm. Now then, are any of the questions going to give you a problem?”

“No, they’re fine. I look okay, don’t I?”

“Relax, you look beautiful.”

Everything I’m wearing, Ellen made for me: lovely tailored light-grey wool slacks and a cowl-necked raw silk blouse in light purple and a fitted knit blazer in a deep purple. It really looks great.

There’s a knock at the door, it opens and in walks the production assistant that we met earlier and the star of the show, Ellen.

“Well hello there. I wanted to stop by to say ‘hi’ and see how you’re doing.”

“Oh my god, it’s you!”

“Oh my god, it is me!”

We both laugh a bit at that and she comes over and gives me a hug. Right away she makes me feel like we’re old friends.

“Well, I’ve got to run but Andy here will come get you in just a little bit and we’ll get this done, okay?”

“Okay, Ellen, thank you.”

Ellen leaves then Andy does too after he turns on the monitor so we can see the show.

After they’re gone I turn to PJ and say, “She is such a nice person. I think I’m going to like this after all.”

* * *

“My next guest is an amazing young woman who’s had quite the year. She’s become an Internet sensation when a video of her jumping across the roof tops of buildings went viral, she saved the life of a little girl, started a career in advertising with a very popular national commercial you’ve probably seen, then she was kidnapped and just recently was rescued. Please welcome Alexandra Conners.”

Taking a deep breath, I walk out to the sound of applause. I smile and wave and when I see all of my family sitting in the front row, my smile gets even bigger.

Ellen greets me with a hug and we sit down.

“Wow, you have had an incredible year.”

“Well, you know what they say about idle hands and all that,” I say with a smile.

“Yeah, but I don’t think they had kidnapping in mind to alleviate the idleness.”

“It’s not something I’d recommend, no.”

“I’m sure, but before we talk about that, I wanted to have you on the show when I first saw your Internet video.” Turning to the camera she continues, “If you haven’t seen it, here’s a clip.”

On the monitor they show part of the film that Monkey did. The first part is my jump between the buildings then running along a railing and finally the end when I drop from the top of the parking garage.

The audience claps and I’m kind of blushing.

“So that was really you doing all of that jumping and falling.”

“Yeah, that was me all right.”

“And is there a history of insanity in your family? My word that’s just amazing. Your folks are here, right?”

“Yes, they’re right there in the front row. That’s my Mom, my Dad, both of my brothers, Mark and Bill and my sister, Ellen.”

“Oh, what a beautiful name!”

My family all wave back.

“Now did you know Alex was jumping off buildings and all?”

“Not to that extent,” says Mom.

“I bet.” Then turning back to me, Ellen says, “This isn’t the only footage of you out there, there’s also the footage of you actually rescuing that little girl, isn’t there?”

“Yes, that’s what prompted the guy who filmed me to post his video.”

“So what happened that day?”

“Well, my sister and I were out for a run and we had stopped by the marina to rest when we saw this little girl fall overboard. My sister called 911 while I jumped in and pulled her out.”

“I think it was a bit more than that. Why don’t you take us through what happened? Roll the film.”

The footage of me at the marina comes up on the monitor.

“This is right after I saw Elizabeth, the little girl, fall into the water. I’m running to the dock, yelling as I go. Now they have the entrances to the piers gated and locked so I had to go over.”

“Wow, you just jumped right over that.”

“Yeah, it was pretty easy. Once I was over, I kept running and dove in after her. Luckily I found her right away. It seemed to take a lot longer at the time, though.”

“And she’s all fine now, right?”

“She is. She’s a wonderful little girl.”

“So are you, well not little but you are pretty wonderful. And this led to you doing a commercial, right?”

“Yes it did. Apparently Nike thought my Parkour would show well in a commercial.”

“Parkour is the running and jumping sport you do?”

“Yes it is.”

“Now I understand that it was only recently that you were able to actually see the finished commercial.”

“Yeah, we shot the commercial in June and it was scheduled to be shown for the first time on July Fourth.”

“And that was the day you were grabbed from your home?”

“Yes, I had gone to answer the door, thinking that is was my brothers coming home from camp when I was knocked out and taken.”

“How awful. You must have been absolutely terrified.”

“I was. Just about the only thing that kept me going was the thoughts of my family and hoping that I’d see them again.”

“Can you tell us what happened?”

“Well you might have heard most of it already. I was chained up in the basement of this cabin up in the hills. The crazy lady that took me was trying to convince me to marry her son, who it turns out really wasn’t her son at all but someone else she had kidnapped many years ago. It wasn’t pleasant what she did but fortunately I was rescued before things got too bad.”

“From what I’ve heard they were already bad. She was torturing you daily, wasn’t she?”

“Yeah, yes she was.”

“Now there was a reward set up for you. What can you tell us about that?”

“Well, between what my folks set up and other contributions made, there was a $250,000 reward posted.”

“And what happened to that?”

“So I was rescued and huge ginormous thank you to absolutely everyone who was looking for me and after my rescue, looking after me. Everyone involved has been the greatest. Now, Nike added my missing information to the end of my commercial and there were people from local, state and federal law enforcement involved in the actual rescue.

“Apparently the police received an anonymous tip about me and it turned out to be true and they were able to rescue me. Unfortunately we have not been able to determine who sent the tip, so I told my parents that I’d like to donate some of it.

“We set up a fund so we could help the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children. To date we have collected almost $500,000 for the fund from individuals and corporations.”

“That is amazing,” says Ellen. “I bet you bring a unique perspective to that cause.”

“I do. I was the missing girl on the milk carton. I know what it was like to wonder if I’d ever see my family again. Since the NCMEC was founded back in 1984, they have assisted law-enforcement with more than 168,000 missing child cases, resulting in the recovery of nearly 158,000 children. The hotline, which is 1-800-THE-LOST, averages around 262 service-related calls each day and since they started, the hotline has handled more than 2.5 million calls.

“No one, no child should have to go through what I went through and I was lucky, I was found.”

“You are really an amazing young lady and we have a little surprise for you.”

Ellen unwraps a large piece of cardboard.

“Here’s a check for your fund in the amount of $10,000.”

“Oh my god, that’s so nice,” and I hug Ellen. “Thank you so much.”

“You’re very welcome. That’s not all, look over there.” Ellen points to the audience.

Coming down the stairs towards the stage is a beautiful little blonde-haired girl in a blue dress.

“Elizabeth!”

I’m out of my chair and kneeling as Elizabeth runs into my arms. I don’t even hear when Ellen announces the commercial.