CHAPTER 74
I woke slowly the next morning, taking a while to work out who was snoring with an arm across my chest and a mass of hair in my face.

Bev, of course, as we had put all the kids in with Arris in her mighty extravaganza. Janet was on my other side, and she was bleating. There is no other word for the noise she made in her sleep, a rhythmic but quiet “baaaaa”. I thought of all the Christian parables about sheep, and about Pat, and my warped sense of humour got me giggling, and the fit of giggles reminded me that I had a full bladder, and of course I had a woman either side of me.

I do not know how I managed it, but somehow I disengaged Brown Cow’s forelimb, slid my bag down past my feet (ooh chilly!) and in a pose rather like some Egyptian sky god I climbed over her and out of the tent, barefoot in pyjama bottoms and an Eeyore T-shirt Jim had bought me. Barefoot I padded over the grass and then ooh-ah-eehed barefoot across gravel to the toilets, where I did what was needed. There is a joy that is common to both sexes, and I can speak from experience, and that is what is coyly referred to as ‘easing’.

Or, to put it another way, “Aaaaaaaaaah!!!!!”

I ambled back after the initial gravel, the grass damp and amazingly sensuous under my feet, and quietly started a brew, the stove gentlyhissing as I set the kettle on the flames. There was a very thin mist in the woods outside the camp site, but the sun was already burning it away and with the complete lack of wind I was warm enough. Elaine stuck her head out of her tent and smiled.

“Two, white, no sugar, wench”

I just missed her with the tea bag.

I handed in two mugs a couple of minutes later, and Siá¢n stirred to the sounds of six children trying to be quiet but forgetting that tent walls are not brick walls. I took another mug over to Arris, and of course I then had Anne and Suzy, Ellie and Karen…sod making breakfast. I needed to invest in a bigger bladder, obviously.

I soon had help, though, as Arris’ mothering node took charge and she started the rustling process. We commandeered a small flock of picnic tables and in a remarkably short time six small entities were tucking into cornflakes and then bacon sandwiches.

THAT was the trigger for the vocal duo to emerge from my tent. I have heard vegetarians say that the one thing that tempts them from their path of righteousness is the smell of bacon frying, and it definitely brought forth my lamb and cow pairing. The adult breakfast followed the children’s, as they ran off to the play area exhibiting far too much energy, which would hopefully be boiled off before we packed them back into the cars.

For that was it for the weekend. Four people had to make their way to the far West and most of the rest of us to Kent. Arris had the easiest trip, but then she was in a car on her own with three bundles of joy who were still going to be hyper on fresh air. That thought warmed me. All of our children were well used to camping and the outdoors, and in their company Ian and Kevin seemed to be loving it too. No couch potatoes, no obsessive video gaming; could there be hope for the future?

Janet was groaning. I looked her over, as Bev ambled past humming en route to the ladies’.

“Sore head?”

“No, neck and back. How do you do this so often? Give me a five star hotel room any day!”

“Wimp!”

“No, just older. Sarah, thank you for inviting me. I owe you a lot of thanks, you know”

“Don’t be silly, Janet. What have I done to bring that out?”

“Brought me out, made me a friend, shared your friends and family with me, found me a husband and partner, yeah, nothing much at all!”

She turned more serious. “Tony was almost right, you know, in not trusting me. I didn’t have a clue what I was doing when I accosted you, I could have caused you so much grief, and as for poor Alice…”

“ ‘Poor’? I have never met anyone stronger than Alice. Once she made that decision, she stuck with it, damn the torpedoes. Just look at the way she has bounced back from being technically bloody dead!”

Janet started to chuckle at that, and as she made some joke about zombies and eating brains the elder ones appeared from the pub, clearly just post a professional breakfast. They looked a lot fresher than Janet. She took one look, came to the same conclusion, and groaned again, muttering about hotels.

Bev was back a little later, dressed and abluted, and nattering with Karen and Ellie.

“Sar, Ellie’s doing me a discount, but I’ve got to invite her over to both the wedding and the blessing. Is that fair?”

“Well, it means you get to see more of my family, so that must be a win-win, girl”

Alice and Enid were grinning at that. Alice put a hand on Bev’s shoulder, and in a stage whisper gave her the necessary warnings.

“Say goodbye to bacon sarnies if they get their hooks into you, young woman, it’ll be all seaweed and shellfish”

Karen snorted. “I haven’t eaten laver bread for at least….er. well, I only had it once last week”

As the laughter spread, and she began to go pink, she stupidly kept protesting.

“It’s not all sheep and short dogs, you know, all harps and rain!”

“Not at all” sad Enid, drily, “sometimes there are leeks and daffodils and vowel shortages”

And off we went, teasing and joking. There are things that can cause great offence when heard from strangers, but from a friend are warmth incarnate. The sort of remark about shagging sheep that comes from an obnoxiously racist English prick in a Welsh pub becomes an endearment, almost, when it comes from an English friend with a twinkle in their eye. It’s the intent. I can only compare it with what is now coyly called ‘the N-word’. I worked with a young black man for a while in Swansea, a native of Tiger Bay, and he was always calling me ‘my negro’, or calling me THAT word as an exclamation. The circumstances changed the meaning, but if someone else had called him either he would most probably have punched them, rightly. It was like that with the jokes about Welsh stereotypes, and that was the measure of what was quickly becoming a strong network of friendship. Even my cousins, new to the group, picked up on the mood, and I waved them off later with warmth in my heart that almost matched the feelings I had had when I first went to the Oak, heart in mouth, to negotiate with my family.

Alice and Enid both picked up on my mood. I had wondered at Enid’s sharp sense of humanity since that day I had met her, and each time she showed her depths I saw where the love of my life came from. That brought more smirks, and both old biddies just smiled at me. Alice nodded, as Anne and Suzy joined us.

“Life is good, isn’t it?”

I smiled back. “Even better when your best friends are still here to share it with you”

Anne sighed, and took my hand and Suzy’s in hers. “Sometimes, though, we need a little kick up the rear to show us who our friends are. Sarah has been on my case this weekend, talking a lot of sense. I have a lot to learn here about how to deal with conflicts, and I have to keep reminding myself that my Lord consorted with all sorts of people, from lepers to prostitutes and thieves, and I can surely do no less if am to follow his example”

She paused, to look around at the rest of us with our mouths wide open at her comment. Prostitutes, thieves, fucking lepers….

She was grinning at us as we fumed.

“Gotcha!”

I had created a monster.