CHAPTER 42
Alice drove us home, and I had to remember to be careful going in the front door, as a black and white furball mugged me, whimpering and yelping with excitement.

Tony was making tea while Jim did some homework, in between rolling Pie onto his back and tickling his belly. A number of chewy and squeaky toys littered the floor, which I discovered by the simple process of standing on them.

“Tone, I need a quiet word”

He turned down the pasta he was cooking and followed me into the hall, as Alice popped upstairs to change.

“She’s made a decision. Monday she stops hiding. Her attitude is basically ‘fuck it’, so we need some back up”

“Conveniently passing strangers? I’m sure we can manage something”

“So far I’ve got Janet and Pat lined up, it looks like Andy can get his brother and family to play, and if you can get your Mum to drop down that would be another. And there’s Andy’s girlfriend, of course”

I didn’t have to wait long. “Oh? That sounds rather better than normal, from the way you smiled. Do tell…”

I led him through that morning’s fun and games. He frowned a little. “What’s she like?”

“Well, you know Andy’s usual type? Skinny, arse like an afterthought, all wiggle and strut and tit? Microskirt and cheesewire sandals? Well, for starters, this was fleece, jeans and trainers, and actual curves. She’s what a fashion magazine would call obese, you know, a real woman.

“Tone, when she walks, her hips don’t twitch, they roll. Absolutely comfortable in her body, I hate her!”

He laughed. “So you do like her, then?”

I grinned back. “She seems to like Andy, and Suzy knows her, and---hang on, you don’t think that sneaky cow set the two of them up, so you? Like bloody Arris and us?”

He stepped forward, and kissed me, rather nicely. “If her meddling is half as successful as Arris’, then I say let her carry on”

He went to pull away, so I pulled him back, as I hadn’t finished. “You know, I will be healed soon….”

“Talk to me like that and Jim will have to go without tea, you naughty, naughty woman”

“Naughty, but yours, my love”

I made sure I got another kiss before I let him go. He looked back at me as he went.

“Do you really know how much we both love you? Just don’t judge it by the quality of my cooking!”

At the kitchen door, he stopped again. “I think I would like to set a date, love”

I was crying as I hit our bedroom to change. No, he hadn’t upset me, quite the reverse, it was just the years we had wasted, years we could have made ours. Just as I was about to settle down to another session of ‘Joe that bastard’ there was a yapping from downstairs.

No Joe, no separation. No separation, no Jim. Don’t get me wrong, I still hated that shit, but I realised that this particular silver lining was beyond price. That was Tony’s message, how much they both loved me. My life was wonderful, Andy’s was starting, it seemed, even Pat and Janet seemed to be making their own little world together. Time for Alice to get some.

Fuck it. I left my work clothes on, and grabbed some walking shoes, calling down the stairs.

“Tone, how long will tea take?”

“Five minutes”

“Family dog walk to Connaught Park after?”

“Yay!” from Jim. So we did, after tea, Alice as herself, Jim in a new winter jacket and Pie as a fluffy tractor trying to pull his boy along the footpath. He sniffed everything, some of which sniffed back, and I made Jim do the plastic bag routine when the inevitable happened. This was what I had dreamt of as a young unboy, this was living.

Pie was in his bed and snoring almost as soon as we got back. Jim was lying on the floor next to him. “Mum, Dad, thank you for Pie”

I had noticed that, the change. ‘Mum, Dad’, our boy was growing.

I spent the rest of the week in a rush. Each evening, there would be a Pie walk, every lunch time a council of war. As the weekend approached, I gathered people round for timing their ‘random’ visits, and then Enid was at the door.

“Hi Jim, is that Pie?”

“No, Nana, it’s a hippopotamus! He sleeps in the bath!”

“Well, let him come and say hello”

Puppies are like that. Every new person is a wonder and a delight that they have to lick and greet, and try to climb on, little back legs scrabbling for grip as they are picked up, tongue out and tasting. Eventually, Enid was sat in an armchair with tea in hand and black and white fluff upside down in her lap. She fixed Alice with a mock glare.

“Well? Explain!”

“Enid, it’s time. I mean, it’s the right time, and I mean time is ticking on, and I just need to have what I can of this life”

“No second thoughts, my dear?”

“Of course I have, loads, but I would be mad if I didn’t have them. Do it, get it out, move on.”

I felt a twinge from down there, and I had to ask myself the obvious question How far did she need to go to be happy? Did she want what I had just been given? Oh, don’t be so stupid, of course she would want it, but would she need it? Would she need that to be happy?

Stick to the moment, the immediate.

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I rode in with Alice half an hour early that day. She had acquired a uniform, and Enid had spent some time getting her just so. We opened up the safe room and offices, and Alice hung back as Sales staff started to filter in. Two girls were putting their cash trays into their tills as she brought me out a coffee. One nudged the other.

“Kinnell, Chelse, look!”

“So he’s like a tranny then. Kewl! Whatchoo like doin’ wiv Wayne tomorrer?”

I walked across. “Chelsey, Aleishya, the word is ‘transsexual’. She is now Ms Hill, Any problems with that? “

“Na, Ms Powell, iss like tha’ Nadja from Big Bruvver, innit, bu’ is she still Alan?”

“Alice.”

“Kewl.”

Back to Wayne. I started to walk off, and whichever misspelled name it was called after me. “’Ere, you ‘avin’ a hen night?”

I grinned. They actually missed nothing, those girls. “Might be. I’ll, like, let you know. Like.”

Andy was in next, quickly followed by Suzy. Andy whispered to me “Bev’s outside, just needs the word whenever you want her”

“She’s come in with you? First thing in the morning, Mr Watson?”

I realised Suzy was standing behind me. I kept pushing. “Something you want to tell us, Andrew?”

Dear gods he was blushing. “Sarah, Suzy, please, don’t fuck this up for me!”

I hugged him. Suzy joined me, and I murmured “Just be happy, mate”

Anne breezed in, and once more she had Passchendaele quality perfume on. I waved, “Morning, Anne!”

“Morning Sarah, Andy, Suze, Jesus Mary and fucking Joseph!”

Alice smiled. “Coffee, Anne?”