CHAPTER 26
I went down the High Street an hour later and called in at Borders, who happened to have a copy of “Conundrum” on their shelves. I had a stroke of luck, too, as they actually had one of Caroline Cossey’s autobiographies in stock, the second one, ”My Story”
No, I don’t spend my time looking for others like me, but every time I undressed I was reminded forcefully of exactly what I was, and you can’t help but be aware of someone that fought so hard for the law to be changed. At some point I would be marrying my hair bear, and I assumed legally adopting Jim. That I could do that was largely a result of the shitstorm she had kicked up. I mean, she was a tarty bit of fluff, all tits and legs, not my type at all, and no way was I jealous. But at least my tits were all my own.
It took nearly a week before anyone noticed what I was reading. Christmas was nearly on us, and I can only assume that the crew were preoccupied. But it was Andy who first noticed. Sod’s law.
“Isn’t that the bit on the old Smirnoff posters?”
“Yes, Andrew, it is the girl from the vodka advert”
“She’s the one who had the old nip and tuck, isn’t she?”
Spare me from the subtle ones…but it had to be done. He was in full flow by then.
“Yeah, that’s the one, she was a Bond girl! Then the News of the Screws fucked her over, didn’t they? Bastards”
Hang on, rewind, was I hearing some sympathy here?
“What do you mean, Andy?”
“Wasn’t she getting married or something and they dropped her in it?”
“Yeah, they did. She went to the European Court and won, but then our government won on appeal”
“Why would they do that? I mean, why appeal? What was wrong with what she wanted?”
This was surreal. Andy must have caught my expression.
“I know you think I’m a twat, Sar, and I might be in your eyes, but I’m not a complete arsehole. Look, it’s like this….and don’t get all hoity-toity with me, I like my bits, right? Lots of women like my bits as well, he adds modestly, and the thought of having them sliced off makes me shit myself, OK? To be in such a state that you actually WANT them lopped off, that fries my brain!
“That means they must have a really shitty life, and to have some cunt–sorry–of a gutter journo come splashing you all over the front page, it’s just not right”
“Yes, Andy, but how would you feel if you met one in the flesh?"
“Well, if it was her, say no more!”
“Most” of us “don’t look like her, Andy, she has a genetic problem”
“I wouldn’t call it bad genetics to look like that, Sar! I hasten to add that that is not me saying I would want to look like her, just look AT her!”
He turned thoughtful. “You know something, Sar? I think we must have at least one on our books.”
Oh fuck. “What do you mean, Andy? How do you work that out?”
“Well, look at the stock we go through. The stuff for them would be much the same as we give out in HRT, right? I mean, it IS HRT, isn’t it? Now, I think we stock, and use, more of the HRT stuff than is explained by little old ladies with hot flushes or wrinkly tarts off to grab-a-granny nights. So, I make it that we have at least one getting a regular scrip filled here.”
Yes, me, you rather too clever dickhead.
“Any ideas who?”
“Nope, not spotted any obvious gender benders, nor would I want to. They’ve got enough shit on their plate without being stared at”
I was really bowled over by him. There was a lot more to Mr Rent a Cock than I thought.
“So you wouldn’t feel the need to get into a nice little frock, then, Andy? Just for a thrill?”
“Nah, that’s different, innit? We’re not talking about trannies, are we, we’re talking about people who’ve been fucked up”
Not quite so understanding then…
“I mean, it’s like they’ve come down with cancer or something. It’s not their fault, but they still get shit. Look, Sar, this s a bit of a heavy discussion for a break time, but look at it this way. You being a sheepshagger won’t understand this, but I’m English, and proud of it. We believe in a bit of fair play, right? You don’t crap on somebody just because you can. It’s like that Aussie thing, the ‘fair go’. Give someone a chance, and if they fuck up it’s up to them, but give them that fair go first. It’s only right”
“I’ll give head office a ring and tell them our next staff member should be a transsexual, then?”
He laughed. “Sar, I only ever ask two things about a workmate. Can they do their job, and do they get on with people. Of course, if they are women, they should have nice arses, and no dykes of course”
That was out of the blue. “What do you have against lesbians, Andy?”
He roared with laughter. “Got nothing against rugmunchers! Could watch them all day! It’s just that I’m greedy, and that’s two women who are unavailable! Course, if they are hounds, it doesn’t matter”
I had to laugh back. “You really are a sexist tosser, aren’t you, Andy?”
He grinned. “Yeah, but I have a certain perverse charm. Pity you never fell for it”
“I am spoken for, you know”
His whole manner changed. “Sar, I know, and I know I haven’t really said this before, but I like you, as well as fancying you, of course, but I like you. To see how happy you have been since you got together with your knuckle dragger does me proud. I don’t know if I will ever do that, settle down I mean. I like my fun too much, me. But I am happy for you, it suits you, especially being a mum.
“Why the hell are we having this discussion, anyway? Work to do, women to shag. So many, so little time”
“Well, from what I hear, it takes you so little time you have an advantage there!”
“Oh you bitch!”
Off he went, laughing. I realised Suzy was standing by the door.
“Did I just hear Randy Andy being a decent human being for three seconds, Sar?”
“Indeed, Suze, shocking, wasn’t it? He was actually talking sense!”
Anne joined us. “Bits of it, but I can’t agree about the gender benders. I mean, what’s that all about? Creeps me out, that does. Why are you reading that, anyway?”
“Cause it’s interesting, Anne. The way the papers screwed her is very enlightening”
“Yeah, but look at her, she gets her tits out in the papers, and everything else out in Playboy, and then complains about being in the press? It isn’t natural. If God had meant them to be girls, he would have made them girls.”
“I didn’t realise you were so religious, Anne”
“Well, I don’t bring it to work, do I? “
That was a real surprise. I had been braced for a collision with Andy, and it looked more like Anne who would be the problem. Don’t make assumptions, Sarah. I ran the conversation past Tony and Alice that night. Alice was philosophical.
“Well, we knew it wouldn’t be plain sailing forever”
Tony chuckled. “Did you hear what you said just then? ‘We’ “
Alice smiled back. “Quite deliberate, Tone, I am rather good at spotting who my friends are. Now, I have a bit of an idea, but I want to do some sounding out before I bring you in on it. Can you please leave it with me?”
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Comments
What an interesting take ...
... on Sarah's workmates. I've had similarly surprising experiences with people's opinions, though not on this particular topic. One cycling friend shocked me with his racism (and BNP supporting) just a few months ago - particularly when mutual cycling friends have a black son-in-law. Then someone else surprised me with a prudish opinion on streaking which was prevalent at the time (I just thought it was a bit of a harmless,though foolish, prank)
Andy's objection to lesbians, for instance, is perfectly understandable and not for reasons of homophobia. Then the unexpected attitude Anne demonstrates is equally interesting. In fact I'm slightly annoyed that I didn't think of using the idea myself :)
Now what is Alice's idea? And how astute of Andy to spot the high dispensing rate of female hormones and yet never mention it.
Robi
Doing my best
To make some depth to my supporting cast's characters!
Surprise, Surprise
So, the sexist pig turns out not to be a homophobe at all, and other than his little borderline dance with sexual harrassment of his coworkers, turns out to be quite a decent human being after all.
And, of course, someone else turns out to be the problem. Still, Anne has been there for years, and has worked with Sarah and Alan all that time. Whether Sarah is going to come out as TS is doubtful, and ill-advised, but it's often true that an opinion-in-general, such as Anne's strong bias against transsexuals, doesn't always stand up when dealing with actual individuals who one knows.
Definitely looking forward to see how you handle it!
___________________
If a picture is worth 1000 words, this is at least part of my story.
Bigotry
One opinion I hold is that bigotry is a slippery beast. When in the presence of its target, unless in a position of strength, it hides away. When its target is not seen to be around, it often goes unnoticed. Thus, in this world where gay folk are out, proud and visible, bigotry can be seen, as can hypocrisy. When it comes to transfolk, who are not something as often encountered knowingly, any bigotry can lie hidden purely because the opportunity, the reason to express it is not there.
I remember reading a cycling blog, where an old German ex-POW was chatting about the past, in the Yorkshire accent he had picked up in his prison camp. Nice, sweet old man, who suddenly declared thatif that bastard Churchill had just left Germany alone everything would have been sweetness and light.
It hides and it festers, does prejudice.
Cold Feet 26
Like how Alice is handling things.
May Your Light Forever Shine
May Your Light Forever Shine
Never Judge a wine by it's bottle.
Nuff Said!
Bev
Andy/Anne
interesting. The person she thought she would have problems with, turns out to be okay, and someone she thought might be more sympathetic turns out to have religious objections.
A Predator Of A Pig
Or a pig of a predator? An absolutely brilliant exposition of Andy's philosophy....if one can dignify it by that name!
While you surprised us with Anne, having led us by the nose towards Andy, I am not actually surprised that a woman should be more prejudiced. In my experience some women harbour a greater degree of resentment to the transgendered than men. Maybe they actually feel more threatened because transgirls try harder, or maybe they are more easily indoctrinated in the face of religious bigotry.
I've complained (not really complaining) before about not being able to keep up. So you miss out on a comment. I'm sure you lose lots of sleep over that. In the previous chapter the exchanges with Queen-Bitch were wonderful,
Joanne