CHAPTER 32
Christmas was on us far too soon. Arris and Steve were doing the full extended family thing in Reading, so we had plenty of room for once. This was going to be a big one.

I had asked Mam and Dad to come over, as well as Elaine and Siá¢n. With Enid and Alice, we were straining the capacity of the house, so it was out with the sofa bed, and Jim got to do his ‘fun’ thing with a mat and a sleeping bag.

To my surprise, if only a slight one, Enid suggested that she and Alice share a bed.

“No, dear, it’s nothing like that, it’s just nice to have some company and if we don’t you’re going to run out of space! It’s important to get your parents over. They need to meet us all at some point, and before the wedding is probably a good time”

That left Jim. Where to put him? It would have been with Enid, but with Alice there it raised all sorts of issues. In the end, I made some space in the little utility room under the stairs. Yes, I put my little boy in a broom cupboard!

We had some fun hanging it with sheets so that he was in his own little cocoon of make believe, and I ‘accidentally’ left some Dr Dolittle and a torch next to his bedding. Let him play, let him have his little patch of fantasy and magic..

We had his presents wrapped and hidden in the garage, and his stocking went up on the latch of the cupboard. That was the moment I realised how long it was since I had had a proper Christmas. I had simply avoided going home for years, sat in front of the telly, and drank. This was one I wanted to get right.

Enid was first down, greeting her best friend with a hug before fussing over Jim. Elaine hammered on the door a little later, and I opened it to find her, her wife and my parents. This was it, finally I was making Tony part of my family as he had made me part of his.

“Mam, tad, croeso! Der I mewn! Sut wyt ti wedi cadw, Siá¢n? Elaine, mae te yn y bot ”

I brought them into the living room and made the introductions. “Everyone, this is Twm and Sioned, my parents. Mam, dad, this my fiancé, Tony, his little boy Jim, Tony’s mother Enid and our good friend Jim’s Aunty Alice.

We had spent a huge amount of time arguing, but Alice had been insistent. This was to be her test of acceptability.

Dad shook Tony’s hand warmly, which was my first anticipated hurdle.

“I’ve heard a lot about you, son. Both of my daughters have sung your praises, so I am glad to finally meet the lad who has brought the smiles back.”

‘Daughters’. It still warmed me when he said that. Diolch yn fawr iawn i ti, fy nhad. I went to help pour the tea just as Mam gave Tony a kiss on the cheek, and then settled into old-lady-speak with Enid and Alice. Dad joined us.

“That Alice. She’s another one, isn’t she? Can she understand us?”

“No, Dad, she only speaks English and some French”

“Good. Then if I put my foot in it you can warn me off.”

There have been moments in my life when I have been struck with an almost physical blow in realising the depth of the mutual love between my parents and me, and it can hurt dreadfully as it reminds me that I can never be one myself, not in reality. This was one of those moments. He had come all the way to Dover on Christmas Eve for only a few days, to a place where they spoke a foreign language, and been presented with an elderly transvestite. And all he was concerned about was not hurting her. I flung my arms around his neck and kissed his cheek.

“What was that for?”

“Being my dad”

We took the tea out, and Jim was in full flow about Australia. I noticed he was already calling Mam “Nana Sioned”, but Dad was just “Granddad” . Enid looked wistful at that. She was clearly thinking about Tony the elder, dead before he could have seen Jim. Christmas is like that; the past is ever there.

He took Granddad to see his secret cave, and we got the rest of the crew stowed away. We were having a cold supper that evening, salads and meats and stuff, and Mam had brought some bara brith and my favourite mackerel with peppercorns to go with it, and we ended up spread round the living room in what can only be described as comfortable cuddles, Jim squeezed between Enid and Alice so that he could have them both. I was, of course, nagged to do the photos thing again, and after the food had had a chance to settle we opened some wine, with some beers for the older boys. Mam produced a flat wrapped package for Jim, which turned out to a chocolate selection box.

“One only, Jim!” I warned, “and it doesn’t go to bed with you. I still remember those muffins”

Dad started laughing, and was joined by Elaine.

“What did I say?”

Elaine looked at our parents. “Chwaer, you sounded so much like Mam just then!”

And the three of them were off.

We got Jim to bed after whatever silly film they were showing on the BBC, and I lay on the hall carpet next to his little cave.

“Do you want me to read you some more of Dr Dolittle, love?”

“Could Granddad do it for me, Mum?”

“You wait, I’ll go and ask him. He might be tired”

I popped my head around the door. “Dad, he is asking if you can give him his story. Do you mind?”

He hauled himself out of the settee and stretched out where I had been, and I showed him the place in the book. “ ‘Good morning, Doctor’ said Gub-Gub…”

Twenty minutes later he was back, and with a shock that swept me back years, to an evening with Elaine, at home after a dreadful funeral, I saw his eyes wet. Mam saw, and took his hand as he passed, but he remained standing.

“I need to say something, here and now. Years ago our lives took a blow I thought we would never recover from. My daughter came home, and told me she was a homosexual. That hurt me, but it hurt Sioned more. She couldn’t see where she had gone wrong, that her daughter had turned out queer. Yes, that was our word. What had Sioned done? She obviously hadn’t been enough of a mother, enough of a woman, for our daughter.

“Then Elaine brought our son to us, in a dress, and it was my turn to feel what she did. How could I have been a good father if he wasn’t just turning his back on acting as a man should but on the actual fact of BEING a man? It was Elaine that banged our heads together, and I remember what I said that evening.

“I have two pretty daughters, I said, and Sioned and I decided that we would do our best to be proud of them. They were, they are, our flesh. Then that bastard nearly destroyed our pretty little girl”

He stared hard at Tony, then. “Someone did the world a service a little while later, didn’t they?”

Tony looked away at that point.

“There has remained, however, one sadness in our lives. Elaine and her lovely wife seem to have decided not to go down that path, and obviously my little girl cannot”

Mam passed him a hanky. He wiped his eyes, and continued. “Tonight, however, it seems we have become grandparents, assuming your approval, Tony.”

“Of course, Twm. It’s what we would want, and Jim seems happy”

He stood, and two big, hard men hugged. I gave Tony his own tissue.

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A small meteorite landed on our bed at some bloody stupid hour of the morning.

“Morning Jim” groaned Tony, “has Santa been then?”

Jim wriggled his way under the duvet between us. Shit, his feet were cold.

“I love my new bike! And the Dennis the Menace real bike shirt!”

…and more, in the same vein. “But there was no puppy, Mummy”

“Be sensible, son. Do puppies come in boxes?”

“No….”

“Well, what we thought we would do is to have a look around some places after Christmas. We have to get just the right puppy, haven’t we?”

Bounce, bounce, bounce. Please ,just another half hour of sleep….

Mam brought in a cuppa for each of us, and after I had dragged myself to the toilet and back, I joined the sewing circle. Three old ladies, but out of the lavatory. The double act was clearly just about to hit the punch line about the first visit to the doctor, and Mam was laughing, so I sat down with Jim, who was wearing his cycling top over his pyjamas, and showed him how the gears worked.

Tony had shaken the happy couple awake, and the three of them rustled up the breakfast as we all did our morning rituals. Thank god for two toilets. I finished my last piece of toast.

“I start work on dinner at eleven. What do people want to do?”

I had a moment of inspiration. “How about Capel, and the memorial there? There’s not enough time for much else, and some fresh air will give us all an appetite.”

It is a well-thought out place, a few minutes along the coast from Dover. Paths laid out in the shape of a propeller radiate from a hub on which a more-than-life-size statue looks over the cliff edge towards France. Jim insisted on wearing his cycle top, though I drew the line at his shorts, and made sure he had a warm jacket over the top of everything. I also made him put his sweets into the fridge.

“Dinner later, not chocolate now! Not unless you don’t want Christmas pud and custard!”

I caught Mam grinning at me then. “Elaine was right, cariad! You are just like me!”

I linked arms as we walked out to the cars.

“See, Mam, you were a good role model after all”

http://medwayphotos.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/Battle%20of%20Brita.... ‘The Waiting Pilot’, Battle of Britain memorial, Capel le Ferne.

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2027/2450653160_dc5400cf25.jpg weathervane, same place.