CHAPTER 75
Back to the grind it was for a week, and then we were off to the Registry Office for the first wedding.

As blunt as that, it was, and of course by ‘first wedding’ I mean the first for Bev and Andy before their blessing, as well as the first of the string I had to attend. And, of course, ‘first’ only if you ignore my own…and so on.

It was an awful lot simpler than ours, of course, and rather than gowns we were in suits. Ellie had come through with her promise for Bev, and I rather suspected that she wasn’t so much giving a discount as carrying a loss, as the table pieces and bouquet were stunning. Sometimes, when family is involved, you lose sight of their talents, and each time I saw her work I realised how talented my cousin was as both a businesswoman and an artist. Clearly, the stupidest person in my family was myself, wasting so many years away from both friends and that family I prized.

Andy stood at the front with his brother beside him, clearly trying not to crane his neck to spot his bride, who entered on the arm of her father, Eddy. She was wearing a cream silk suit, her dark curls loose and crowned with a circlet of Ellie’s flowers. As is traditional, she looked gorgeous, but she was pulling that trick off rather well. No stick-thin glamour model, our Bev, but a solidly built Earth mother, all hips and comforting softness. She was a woman made for maternity, but more than that she was made for Andy, As she arrived beside him, they looked at each other, and her grin matched his. Her father stepped back, positively glowing with pride, and joined her mother.

The Registrar, a woman, went through the “Do yous” and “Will yous”, and asked for the rings. Kevin, the brother not the nephew, of course, dug into his jacket pocket for the box and promptly dropped it on the floor. Blushing, he recovered it and with a murmured apology handed it to the groom. Rings in place, the Registrar asked if they had anything they would like to say. Bev spoke first.

“I just want to say that after years of hard work, soliciting strange men in some very odd places, and sometimes with even odder personal habits, I have finally found one who didn’t run away. Andy, I love you more than I ever thought I could ever have believed possible, and I can’t think of anyone who could make a better father. Apart from my own dad, of course, but that’s apparently illegal, and I should know, being in the trade and all.”

She paused for the laughter to die down. “I am serious in that statement. I have found a man not only with whom to make a new life, but with whom to make new life. Andy, I love you, I can’t say that too often, and you honour me by taking me as your wife”

Eddy muttered, a little too loudly, “Follow that, son”, and blushed when he realised he had been overheard. Andy just smiled.

“I can’t really beat the words my soon-to-be wife has just uttered. So, all I will say is that I love you, I love you more than life, which is odd, because for me, Bev, you are my life, one I never dreamt I could have, and, well, there is nothing that needs adding”

He turned to the Registrar, who smiled, and after the last ritual request for objectors, made the pronouncement.

We took the usual pictures of the signing of the register, and as the certificate was presented to Bev the Registrar said “I always give it to the wife, as she can use it to blackmail hubby if necessary”. More pictures, inside and outside, and then Bev threw her bouquet, which was hilarious. Instead of tossing it backwards over her head, she spun-passed it directly into Alice’s hands, which caused her to drop her walking stick.

Modern digital cameras with video capacity are perfect for times like that.

The reception was quirky, at a restaurant with a French name that did Mexican food, but that was in keeping with the new pairing’s sense of humour. ‘Brown Cow’, I ask you. I thought of that nickname when saw the menu: beef in chocolate sauce–what the fuck?

Small boys and girls did what they do, and big boys and girls what they did, apart from a repeat of Suzy’s performance in the sports club in June. As is traditional, and natural, the guests and celebrants had coagulated into little groups and pairs of mutual interest or attraction, my sisters and cousins ensconced with Suzy and Hywel, Arwel off with Tony, Steve, Eddy, Kevin and Pat, and Janet deep in conversation with two mothers, Enid and, of course, Alice. A small number of random relatives escaped my ability to remember who they were, or why they were there, and I just concentrated on staying absolutely sober as I had the driving duties.

The group dynamics were fascinating. Alice was in full matron mode, gelling seamlessly with the other women of a certain age, as was Janet, while Pat and Arwel did their bloke thing interspersed with little visits to check on their respective… friends. Hywel, on the other hand, seemed joined at the hip to Suzy, just as my sis was to her own partner, both showing the sort of casual contact and affectionate disregard that a deep relationship brings. That stage in life where you no longer have a need to gaze at your beloved, nor to check where they are, because wherever they are you will be, in fact or in spirit, beside them or on your way there, where you reach out a hand and find one already there for you to catch. That was clearly the case with the two girls, but it looked very much as if Suzy and Hywel were getting there too.

Anne was the one I was watching most closely. There was a slim man with her, dark-haired and wearing glasses, that I assumed must be Jon. If he had accompanied her to the wedding, she must have gone some way to sorting out their differences. I joined them, just as Tony let loose a roar of laughter at some bloke thing. I love men, I fancy men, I am in love with two of them, but despite my sort of shared early life, I really don’t understand a lot of what gets them going.

Anne was deep in a two-way chat with Jon when I approached, but she turned from him to smile at me. Resting her hand on his forearm, she said “Jon, this is Sarah my colleague”

He sighed, theatrically. “I was at her wedding, Anne. They covered observation and stuff in my training, you know”

She slapped his arm lightly. “You know exactly what I meant, so behave”

Turning to me, she smiled again. “He agreed to come along to this as long as he was guaranteed a free meal, and then the menu is, well, odd. Chocolate? Are they serious?”

I laughed. “I am ALWAYS serious about chocolate, but I will have it after my steak, thank you”

Jon smiled. “They do do a rather nice-sounding steak with jalapeá±o sauce, you know. You are Pat’s friend, aren’t you?”

“Yes, I am”

“Such a pity he has left his avocation, a great loss to the Church”

He clearly caught something in my expression, as he looked a little embarrassed.

“Sorry, I put my foot in things a lot. Pat is a good man, and I am really happy that he has found someone to love and make a life with, but it is such a pity that the Church has to lose an asset like him”

“I don’t believe it is, Jon, he is staying with the church. If they could accept marriage among their priests, as certain other churches do, there would be no problem.”

He started to protest but I cut him short. “When married priests from other churches decide to become Roman Catholics, to jump ship, they are allowed to keep their wives and yet still be priests. Why not Pat?”

“I have no answer to that one. I suppose, in theory, he could leave, get married, and come back. But I don’t think he would do that, he is very serious about his vows. He would see it as cheating.”

I considered that for a bit. Jon was clearly not just spouting doctrine, he had thought about it, and more than that he clearly cared about Pat. I could see what drew Anne to him. This was something I wanted to explore further, but we were interrupted by a call from Eddy.

“Ladies and gentlemen, your attention please! We have fed and watered, and celebrated my daughter’s wedding to this good and modest man. It is now time to let your hair down. To that end, I have just been informed that your good friend Tony has made a few telephone calls, and his local sports club has not only been persuaded to open a room for us, but to run a disco for those of you with too much energy and not enough of the aforementioned modesty. It is not quite what we planned, but I am sure there will be no complaints! If those driving can fit as many in as possible, I will arrange and pay for taxis for the remainder. To Dover!”

Tony appeared at my side, grinning. “You get predatory when you are sober, love, and I think Jon needed saving. I also think you need to let some steam off”

He looked at the others. “One of the perks of having a wife with a nice bum is dancing with her. Another is sitting quietly with a pint and watching said bottom dance”

I slapped his arm, much like Anne had done. “You will pay for that later, you sod”

He kissed the palm of my hand. “I bloody well hope so, my love!”