CHAPTER 25
Alice wanted to go charging into work, fully frocked, fired with the determination to finally do something with her real life. I told her not to be so daft.

She was on such a high, buzzing with the idea that the world was full of nice people, who would all be fluffy if you just let them. She was like a Guardian journalist, unable to understand that just because you think well of others, they don’t necessarily think, or want to think, nicely of you.

“Alice, I need to get you a Becky pause button installed. Come here, I have something to show you”

I was being particularly cruel to her. I had trawled the internet for cases of transphobia, particularly ‘orrible murder, to try and ram the point home that she needed, really needed, to be careful.

It is an odd thing, but older men are often able to pass reasonably well as older women, as the coarser skin and wrinkling fits the image. It’s when the less feminine crossdresser or transwoman tries to hang onto glamour and youth that, just like genetic women, they start to look silly, or worse: obvious. I didn’t know what the solution was. Fortunately, a big chain chemist in a tourist-trap city centre is not the place to have regular customers, so that was one hurdle down. The head office, as I knew intimately, had a very strong ‘diversity’ policy, so that was another. Alice’s home and family now, effectively, being us, was one of the biggest advantages.

That left two potential minefields: the street, and work. There was nothing I could do personally about the street, but I thought I would at least try and sound out work. The general floor drones were no real problem, as any lip and they would be out. That sounds callous, but it was fully in accordance with their contracts as well as national employment law, and to be honest, I had no time for arseholes.

First, with Alice’s permission, I called up an old ally from work.

“Margaret Price-Thomas speaking”

Queen bitch.

“Mrs Price-Thomas, I don’t know if you remember me, it’s Sarah Powell. I was in Swansea, but now n Canterbury”

“Of course I remember you, dear girl, how could I forget my brave little all-new woman? Call me Margaret, for god’s sake!”

Her voce took on a harder tone. “Not more trouble like that little shit who had the. accident?”

I laughed at that. “Margaret, I have my operation in January, I am engaged to be married, and I am a mum! That should answer all the questions you need to ask!”

“Well, all except three. Firstly, are you happy now?”

“Blissfully. He is a truly wonderful man. He’s called Tony”

“Secondly, how the hell did you become a mother?”

I explained it all, the meeting after years apart, little Jim, how he decided that calling me ‘mummy’ was the right and proper thing. Margaret filled in the gaps with little questions, which I assumed did not count towards her total of three.

“Finally, Sarah, I am delighted that you have contacted me, and it is wonderful and personally warming to hear your news, but…why have you called me?”

“Em, Margaret, all I can say is sort of ‘Houston, we have a problem. It’s Alan, my manager.. Well, not really manager, he’s” (concentrate on the pronouns) “part-time now, so I am effectively La Suprema”

“Yes, Sarah, I know all that, it goes with my job. Is he causing you problems?”

“In a manner of speaking, Margaret. I don’t know quite how to put this….”

How to tell her? Not an easy task, but she had proven herself the hard way to be an honest and open-minded person, at least where transgender issues were concerned. I decided to use her own words.

“Margaret, you called me an ‘all-new’ woman. Well, Alan is a sort of older all-new woman”

There was silence at the other end. I waited, then broke it.

“Her name is Alice”

Margaret drew a deep and clearly audible breath. “I have to ask, Sarah, is this any of your doing or resulting in any way from your influence?”

“No, Margaret, it is something that Alice has always felt. It is one of the reasons she was so supportive of me. I just put her life into perspective. She has decided it is time to stop pretending.”

I outlined the hurdles I had identified, and could almost hear Margaret nodding at the other end of the line. “Yes….I can move things as necessary at this end, and a name change can be easily dealt with. You are also right about the shop floor staff, they are hardly there for a career, are they? Now, talk me through the pharmacy crew. Are any of them apart from Alan, I mean Alice, aware of your own situation?”

“No”

“Do not tell them. That would inspire people of s certain…temperament to lodge a reverse discrimination case”

“Well, we have three fixed staff members. There are two girls, Anne Wetherby and Suzy Jameson. I have reasonable expectations that they will be easily brought on-side, just need to sound them out a little”

“Here is a suggestion. Either take a book to work, and I would suggest the Jan Morris autobiography, and leave it lying around, or find a current news story to just happen to discuss. The press love gender bender stories, there will always be one somewhere. Do not just raise the issue out of the blue. Who is the other one?”

“Andrew Watson. He’s a bit–“

“Of a shagger, I know, his reputation precedes him on every seminar and training course. All you can do is treat him like the rest. He will either come on side, or he won’t. And f he causes waves, he is in a boat with very little freeboard”

Just as hard as I remembered.

“May I have a word with Ms Hill now, please, Sarah?”

I called Alice into the office and went to leave, but she waved me to stay. Needless to say, I only got half of the conversation.

“Alice Hill…”

“Yes, Margaret, I didn’t see the point of saying ‘Alan’”

“All my life, Margaret, since I was old enough to know the difference”

“No, not at all! She simply put things into perspective for me. Made me decide, made me realise I needed to do something or just collapse”

“Yes, Margaret. Many times. More times than I can remember. To be honest, a few years ago I spent several hours on Shakespeare Cliff”

Oh shit, she had never mentioned that to me!

“No, I am too much of a coward. Yes, she’s still here, I have no secrets from her”

Yes you fucking well do!

“She has been more than supportive, the whole family and their friends are behind me”

She laughed “I am now officially Aunty Alice. Jim asks if I can always be Aunty and not the other one”

“Well, I have a very good friend who is going with me”

“Yes, I have a charming lady therapist called Astrid, and she agrees with me, sensible girl”

“Well, Sarah wants me to slow down, but I need to get this moving”

“Yes, I know she is”

Margaret seemed to talk to him for a considerable period, and all Alice did was make place-keeping comments like “aha” and "of course”

“Yes, the girls I think will be fine, it is young Watson I am a little concerned about”

“That’s right, a little concerned. I have my family round me now”

“Yes, that is how I see them, and I believe that is how they see me”

She looked at me and smiled as she said that. I nodded emphatically, and took her hand.

“No, Margaret, I am not going to ‘swan in wearing a twin set and pearls’. We have a uniform code”

“Sarah has already told me I can’t and shouldn’t. It makes sense to me”

“Yes, that sounds like a good plan”

“No, seriously, she is gorgeous, though she could do something with her hair. I look like an ugly sister.”

“That is an excellent idea! Thank you, Margaret! I will await your mail.”

“Yes, she is still here”

Alice passed me the phone. “Yes, Margaret”

“We will go with the hint-dropping plan for now, and see how people react. I have an old friend who works at the Marlowe Theatre, and she may have some ideas on presentation. I am sending Alice her contact details, and I assume you will be open with her.

“Now, Ms Powell I am trusting you to be careful with your new family member. Don’t drop her, she may break”

Alice was on her way.