CHAPTER 70
Margaret had sorted authority for compassionate paid leave for us, but I knew the shop had to be sorted in the end, so I made the trek back to Canterbury the day after my talk with Arwel.

Do I need to go into detail about the difference between sitting on the Kwak saddle and on a Brooks, post Tony? No, I don’t think so. I stripped out of my leathers in the ladies’ just as Anne came in.

“How is she?”

“Not bad, she has a complete entourage to see to her every whim”

“You make me jealous, Sar, you have such a strong family. Do you ever rent them out?”

I laughed. “What’s Jon’s family like?”

She sighed. “I don’t know, I haven’t met them”

Shit. Extract foot from mouth. “Problems, Anne?”

“I don’t know, I don’t want to push it….”

“Anne, some advice. There are things people make assumptions about, and only sometimes are they right. Don’t assume that he thinks you are the square peg, it might be them. You do know his family are all Hell’s Angels and on heroin, don’t you?”

She looked pensive. “It would be nice if that was the reason. I rather suspect that it’s me, Sar. I try to live my life as my faith teaches me, and some people aren’t comfortable with that”

No shit, Sherlock. Perhaps she was right. “But isn’t Jon strong in the faith, too?”

“Oh, yes”

“Then there are a number of possibilities, not least what I said, that he doesn’t think his family are faithful enough for you. Here’s a suggestion, Anne. It’s really simple….talk to him. Tell me, you know my views on religion are not exactly in tune with yours, so how does that make you feel about me?”

“I pity you.”

Thanks, girl. “Do you hate me?”

“Oh, no, how could I ever hate you?”

“No, Anne, forget me, and thanks for that, but do you hate people without faith?”

“That would be against Scripture. No, I pity them, I just wish they realised what they are rejecting and how vital it is that they repent.”

“So…if his family were worshippers of Dawkins you wouldn’t hate them?”

“Of course not!”

“Then, girl, why are you telling me all this and not him? Don’t push it, though, you might scare him off. Remember, too, that some folk like to keep their lives in compartments. It might just be that….and one other thing you have to remember”

“What’s that?”

“He’s not going to have wonderful social skills, is he? He’s a bloke!”

That broke the tension, and she laughed, much more happily. After locking up, I made my way back to Alice’s with a few basics such as milk, and then back home. Dad and Jim were out for yet another dog walk, so Mam and I had the house to ourselves , which was bliss. Up until the banging, tramping and barking that announced their return, of course. Pie welcomed me home in that particularly canine way of ramming a hard snout straight into my still-sensitive areas, but I forgave him as I fussed with his ears. Dad sat with a fresh cup.

“That priest called by, said he’d drop in after tea”

“Pat? Did he say what he wanted?”

“Na, he said nothing big, and he’d tell you when he saw you”

Well, that was a non-message. True to his word, as Jim helped Mam with the dishes, there was a knock, and in came Pat and Janet. He was in civvies, which came as a surprise. I hadn’t realised how quickly things were moving for him.

“You’ve clocked the collar, then? That’s one thing I wanted to let yez all know about. Tony’s on lates, is he?”

“Yes, last one”

“Well, if you cast your eyes about, you might notice I’m not the only one who has changed their dress in a small way”

I couldn’t work out what he was on about for all of five seconds, till Janet waggled her hand. I have to admit I squealed like a teenager, but then so did Mam when she saw the ring. Pat grinned.

“Fu–bloody typical, I get released from one set of vows and immediately set about tying meself down with another lot. I should know better at my age! Now, I know these two are not exactly lifelong fans of His Holiness, but if you would all, as a family, like to do me and Janet the honour of attending a little ceremony at what was my place till yesterday, we would be delighted”

“We do have Andy and Bev’s soon, Pat! This is turning into a rather full calendar”

“Ach, it won’t be till next year, I have to get used to being defrocked first.”

He started to chuckle, but when I asked what was funny he just shook his head. “Tell you later, Sarah”

Janet smiled at that, and I assumed she knew what had amused him. “One thing we do remember, and that is the complaints made by some silly old woman about not being a bridesmaid, so I am sticking with two only, and that’s Alice and yourself, if you want to do me the honour. Which brings us to the problem”

Pat grinned again. “She does make things awkward, you know. She would have been my choice as best man, even in a dress, but she wants to be a bridesmaid, so who am I to argue? Just the f–bloody groom. So, we were wondering, seeing as he is the best man in your eyes already, whether your husband might do me the honour of standing beside me. I was hoping to catch him here to ask him directly, but at least this way he gets some notice.

“I can’t think of many better men, Sarah, as I’m sure you’d agree–and I can see your parents nodding, too, so I’m not alone in that. And as he’s out, I can say those things without expanding the bugger’s head too much”

Janet put her hand on his arm. “Enough, pet. We’re looking at some time in Spring, if that suits.”

I looked at Pat. “This is what you really want, isn’t it?”

He took her hand, and they both smiled. “Oh yes, most definitely”

I saw them to the door, and once out of earshot of my parents, I pushed him to tell me what had amused him.

“Oh. it’s just me being silly, here’s a woman who used to wear trousers getting hitched to a bloke who used to wear a dress! Tickles my sense of symmetry!”

And off they went, just like any other ordinary couple. I just had to keep reminding myself that Janet would never be fully out of her closet without some very serious consequences. Her transition may have been easier, but the other side of her tactics had left her living a different sort of lie. Perhaps, just perhaps, when she retired…no, best not to worry about that.

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Tony woke me when he came to bed, stealing the warm place under the duvet. I ran him through Pat’s news, and he grunted.

“Best look into selling Jim for body parts, then, it’s the only way we'll be able to afford all these new dresses”

You can go off people, sometimes.