I was going to save this till tomorrow, but hey....

CHAPTER 55
Saturday morning, eight o’clock, and I had been sitting awake in my dressing gown since five. Mam and Arris had tried to tempt me with breakfast, but some toast and a gallon of tea was all I could face. Then, of course, I started to worry about needing to have a pee in the church. Arse.

It was all laid out in the bedroom. An ivory gown, boned bodice to support my saggy bits, lace to throat and wrist, skirt gently flaring to the front so I could walk, and long behind to give the two boys something to carry, the veil a pre-Raphaelite affair of a circlet of flowers to hold the slightly stiff material in place. Matching satin court shoes with a three inch heel, low enough to dance in but giving enough of a strut to make the gown move as I walked, and …suitable underwear and stockings. My mother had donated a single strand of pearls, and a small sapphire pendant to complete the rhyme, and the two girls had already done my hair in a French plait to allow the simple veil and circlet to sit on my head.

Sod it. The problem was that while I had no doubts whatsoever about Tony, and how I felt, there was a teenaged boy sitting in the back of my mind yelling “Fake!” Joe was there too, as were the two coppers, and I was just starting to get the shakes. How could I do this to Tony? He deserved a real woman. I had till one o’clock, but I doubted I could make it to five past eight without breaking down.

It was Dad who came to check on me, and when he saw my trembling he sat down by me on the edge of the bed and laid his arm across my shoulder, drawing my head down to his. He kissed the top of my head, and I felt the strength still there in his arms.

“Beth sy’n bod, Sar, fy nghariad?”

How could I tell this man who had done so much for me over so many years that I was feeling a fake? “Just nerves, Dad, just stage fright”

“More than that, I think, love. You may be a girl, but you are still like your Dad. You don’t think you deserve that man of yours, do you?”

“Dad, are you some sort of mind reader?”

He laughed gently. “I was the same, my love. I was marrying the most beautiful girl I had ever known, ever seen, and I was just a dock worker, someone who fought too much and wasted his money. How could I load that onto the shoulders of the angel who had agreed to marry me? My own dad had words, he could see where I was going, and he just reminded me that I would have to live the rest of my life knowing I had thrown it all away, or….or just accept that if she loved me I must have some value above what I could see in myself.

“He took me to the Chapel himself, and he stood by me, and your Mam came in and I fell in love all over again, and he was right, and we have never been out of love since. Now, I am a covetous man, despite the Commandment, and I covet a new son, a very good man I am sure will be the son I never really had but always wanted.

“I lost a son, but I gained the most beautiful, wonderful daughter any man could dream of. She is so wonderful that she has found me a new son of my own. All she has to do is walk into a Church today and say ‘I do’. Can she do that for an old man who loves her?”

Alice had knitted his cardigan. It was very absorbent. After I washed my face again, we set to work. At quarter to one, the cars were there, along with Ellie and the flowers and four children. Steve, having followed our suggestion about his Scottish connections, had chosen to appear in the full rig, and therefore little Stevie and Jim were fitted out in their own little kilts, which would be the only time I would see Jim in a skirt, he had told me. The two little flower girls Suzy and Ali were in miniature versions of the bridesmaids’ dresses, and my heart was somewhere between my ears. For one mad instant I wanted to pop back indoors and get my heart-rate training monitor to see if I hit max during the ceremony, but Dad had my arm and we climbed in.

Mam went in, and we waited for ‘our tune’. Dad stood at the door with me, in front of our little cortege, and as the organist started he walked me down the aisle. I caught odd glimpses to the sides: uniforms galore; Hywel and Arwel with new haircuts; Alice and Enid, separated by the aisle, in tears. In front of me Pat stood smiling, and with their backs to me were one big man, and one bigger Highland warrior. Dad left me next to my lover, raised my veil and stepped back to take his seat. Pat didn’t just smile, his whole face lit up.

“It is customary to start this ceremony, this holy sacrament, with the words ‘dearly beloved’, but never before today have I felt those words to be so true. You people here today are indeed, my beloved friends, as you are loved by our Lord above, who I am sure is smiling in perfect happiness to see two such miracles of His creation join together as one.

“For that is what marriage is, a completion, where two individuals, with all their failings and mortal weaknesses come together for mutual love, and support, and greater strength. And joy, let us not forget joy. The apostle wrote that there were three great things, and while the translations differ, they are Faith, which I will leave for another day, and Hope, and what has been rendered as both ‘Love’ and ‘Charity’. Both are fair words for the concept, where charity is not that ritual dropping of a coin in a tin but the true understanding of a common humanity, a love for your neighbour, your enemy, your partner in life. From true love comes true charity, and from both comes the greatest of joys, that of being loved oneself.

“Before me I see two people I know well, and two people whom I love deeply as friends. They are also two people who love each other, and today we will manifest and celebrate that love in the greatest sacrament God has given us, that of the union of two of His souls in matrimony

“Tony, please repeat after me. I Anthony George Hall”

“I Anthony George Hall”

“Take thee, Sarah Marie Rebecca Joanne Powell”

“Take thee, Sarah Marie Rebecca Joanne Powell”

“As my lawful wedded wife, to have and to hold, to love and to honour, for richer and for poorer, for better and for worse, in sickness and in health, forsaking all others and cleaving only unto thee, till death us do part”

And Tony repeated, and I did the same, and then Pat asked for the rings. Steve grinned and, took them out of his sporran. Then each of us said that wonderful phrase

“With this ring, I thee wed; with my body, I thee worship”

I swear Pat was a little moist in the eyes by this time.

“Now, I have two more things to do before I kiss the bride. Firstly, if there is anyone here who knows of any just cause or impediment for which reason this marriage cannot take place, let them speak now or forever hold their peace!

“No? Good! Then I now pronounce you man and wife in the eyes of God and the world. You may kiss the bride”

So Tony did as he was told, and Pat took his turn, and we proceeded back out to the front of the church past grinning men, and sobbing women, and, indeed, one or two sobbing men, my father for one. Even Uncle Arwel was wiping a tear. As I left, I spotted a stranger by the church door, clapping softly. Queen bitch, Margaret Price-Thomas. As I recognised her, she just mouthed “Alice invited me” and smiled warmly.

We had the photographs, and threw the rice, and then it was into the cars for the short trip to the reception at the Sports Club, for the speeches and the drinking, and possibly the ritual punch up and knee trembler behind the back door.

Oh, yes, Janet successfully fought off Bev for the bouquet.

The food was good, the wine was flowing, and then Thor stood up to make the obligatory allegedly humorous speech.

“Ladies and gentlemen, this is a day exceptionally long in the making, as I know from being there right at the start. Once upon a time, two young men ventured to the far West, where strange food and stranger people in beautiful lands tempted them with alcohol, music and bloody good biking roads. Once there, like Odysseus, they were ensnared by beautiful sirens, one of whom is sitting over there with our three kids. You see, unlike that Greek so and so, I didn’t manage to escape.

“Time passed, and both of my dear friends now joined together had tragedy enter their lives. They suffered more than anyone should ever have to, but nevertheless there was still a spark that Alison and I could see in each of them. Two badly-broken people still managed to outshine almost everyone else we knew. So, one night, we decided to see if we could give Fate a bit of a slap in the chops

“It nearly didn’t come off, because as anyone who knows her can testify, our brand new Mrs Hall is no push over. But, with some patience, and a lot of love, we seem to have got our friends back on course. Then again, we had to. Alison and I had run out of groceries, so this is the only way we could afford to feed ourselves and our brood this weekend

“Ladies, gents, please raise your glasses. I give you Mr and Mrs Hall, Sarah and Tony!”