CHAPTER 15
The Friday evening was a good one. The children all knew each other well, so they were more than relaxed, and the boy-girl balance left them bouncing happily off each other in the best way.

It was so sweet to be out again in the foursome of old, each now with so many shared stories. Time had dulled our urge to drink ourselves stupid, and the presence of four happy little rug rats confirmed that, so we alternated between sitting in a corner and chilling, and getting up to shake those bits that were getting wobblier. I started to laugh at that point, and Tone asked why.

“Look, this is bloody weird, here I am worried about saggy tits, and I’ve still got you know what down there!”

He gave me a surreptitious squeeze. ”Nothing saggy there, love”

“Don’t touch what you haven’t paid for”

“And what’s the price?”

“A kiss for starters….”

Radar Arris was on full strength and I just caught the flash of her camera. Sod.

I raved out a bit to the rock disco, as did the girls and ,to my surprise, Jim, who was doing his best to strut his stuff to a mean air guitar…and then…

There is a band, whose music I have never, ever owned. I have seen them live once, at a rock festival, and they were great fun to bop to, but the temptation to go shopping still slept. There is one track, though, that I just have to get up and get down to. The getting down HAS to be ace dancing, that odd thing where you stand wide legged, thumbs tucked into belt, the dancing consisting entirely of dropping alternate shoulders forward while hair flies.

Here is my shameful admission. The track is ‘Caroline’, by, er, um, status quo…..nothing to see here, please move along and forget I said that.

It came on. I got up, and after ten or twenty seconds I had all the kids round me as we aced our way through the music. Jim was developing a real swagger, and I realised he would be a great dancer when older, or maybe a climber. He had that same innate balance and sense of position that his dad showed on the rugby pitch, not effeminate in any way, just graceful, and I saw that the little man, far more than the other three, was seriously into the music. There was a lot going on behind his eyes, I realised.

I also realised that if he was as bright and perceptive as he seemed he could be easily hurt, so I had better be absolutely spot on in what I did. Arris was so right, this was a chance for so many people to get it right, and it was me that was the pivot.

We hit the sack early that night, in deference to four little people and a long day ,as yet another plane droned in en route to the nearby airport. We adults sat out under the clear night sky to share a bottle of wine before sleep. Steve stroked my cheek softly.

“It is so good to see you again, girl. And better still to see you smiling at last.”

“I can’t say how good this is for me, Steve, the only words I have are ‘thank you all’ “

I paused, but this needed saying. “We are all here for the first time since…things. I am not going to be specific, because there may still be little ears about, but I know what you did for me, and, Tony, I know you would have. Steve was right to keep you out”

“He said I wouldn’t know when to stop”

Steve chuckled. “I stopped too soon, he still has one working”

Gallows humour…”The past is the past” I sighed, “but we are all here now, so can I propose a toast? I have a long way to go. There is surgery ahead, and a lot of baggage to discard, for both Tone and myself, and above all there is a little man to think of. So…to the future?”

We drank to that, and it was finally becoming visible to me.

Into the tents at last, and there was Peter in his sleeping bag cuddled up to Jim, and I realised that I would have Tony between me and Jim, and for a moment I worried that he would get cold on the outside, but Tony laid his fleece over the little form, and I realised that the sneaky bloke had zipped our two bags together. So, my first night on the rally was spent sleeping nearly naked cuddled up to a fully naked man I had no complaints, especially as I had brought my little foam ear plugs.

No sex, just love.

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We had a decent breakfast over at the pub in the morning, and the kids were clamouring for two things: to see the aeroplanes, and to go to the seaside. Jim was smug at that, as he lived by the sea, but the other three were insistent. I had an idea.

“There’s free bike parking at the airport, and a station. If we run the kids up with the chair, then bring it back here, Tone can go pillion with Steve to get back to the rest of us.”

So we did. There was a pub overlooking the apron, so we took a seat there, with a pot of tea and some cokes for the kids, and they were enthralled by the activity outside the windows. As that wound down, we made our way through a concourse seemingly filled with the pinkly obese. Trains to Brighton were regular and frequent, and we were soon walking down the busy road that leads to the remaining pier.

We negotiated a treaty in advance: three rides or games each, and that would be all. No begging, no pleading, or no pier, and a fish dinner would depend on good behaviour. Kids are easy. Just threaten them with extreme violence, such as refusing access to candy floss, and you have them.

There is a change in attitude that comes with parenthood, even if it is surrogate, where the rides and activities that thrilled you when young are experienced again through the eyes of today’s child. That was how it was, four screamingly happy juniors under the gaze of two couples of handholding adults.

That was something that always endeared Arris to me. I know, there are so many things that do that, but she never, ever seemed to fall out of the first flush of love with Steve. Looking at them, no stranger could ever doubt how they felt, and I just hoped that in the years to come Tony and I would…..slow down, Sarah.

Happy times, screaming children, swooping rides, and a fish and chips dinner with mushy peas and buttered bread to make the obligatory chip sandwiches, and then we took a ride on Volks Electric Railway out to the Marina and back. It’s not an exciting ride, but there were four little kids, and two big ones.

We returned to the airport after a full day, and the boys shot off to collect the chair as we watched some more aeroplanes. Back to the site, and the first beers of the day for the boys as we girls had drawn kidwatch duty. It really was a family friendly rally, with a lot of kids running around with no fear or nerves at all, it seemed, and no adults yelling at them to stop. Happy children, around people who understood the concept of play and fun, I felt I had returned home.

The evening had a couple of sessions by a decent covers band I had never heard of, but time flashed back for me as I stood in front of Tony, his hands on my hips, and a hardness in his trousers, as so many years ago. Arris noticed my look, and had a little chat with Jim.

“Tony, Sarah, would you mind if Jim had a sleepover with our three? It would be fun, if we can stop them giggling all night”

Bless you, girl, I was randy as anything, and as I was leaning back against Tone I pressed my bum against him and ground it ever so slightly. He seemed to have difficulty in speaking, but managed to get his agreement out.

We had a very pleasant night, discussing poetry and knitting. As you do. And all that knit one, purl one, cast one led to something I had never experienced before, but definitely loved, and that was my first ever orgasm.

Arris tells me I am very loud.