I haven't had a lot of spoons for writing for a while, mostly due to not being able to get a full night's sleep with my mom having paranoid delusions every night.
But I still have hopes to have something by the first week of December.
There will be at least one openly trans official at the Tokyo games, a trans woman named Kimberly Daniels will be one of the judges of canoe slalom, while her daughter will be one of the first women competing in the sport.
What's really cool to me at least is that both are Canadians.
I wanted to give everybody an update, because its been a busy time since I last blogged.
First, we have a therapist in our house. My brother and sister in law's cat Blanka somehow sensed I was having a tough time, and did something she doesn't normally do - jump into my bed and purr in my ear. That pushed Mr. Nasty away, and thank God.
Second, we were able to get my mom to see her doctor, and he's arranging an appointment with a specialist to help us figure out why she's having these episodes in the early morning.
In the aftermath of my blog here yesterday, I was talking with Drea, and came to a startling and sad realization.
That there has been a part of me that hoped the trans stuff was caused by my rapes. Because then if I got over the rapes, I'd get over the trans stuff too.
I was thrown by this, but thanks to people on the BC discord page, I worked through it.
So I guess Dorothy isn't going anywhere, and that's okay.
Okay so last night I had another dream where I was at school (this time it was university, but still) and lost.
Except this time I ran across a really bubbly young woman, who seeing me looking confused took my arm, and when I told her were I wanted to go, she found us a rather round-about route.
I was watching a video about the "Make a Wish" foundation, who give kids with serious health issues a chance to do something they always wanted to, and it occurred to me, this might make an interesting premise for a story here, like a trans kid uses their wish to spend a day as their true selves, or something.
Sadly, right now my writing spoons are missing, so I cant run with the idea, but maybe someone else would like a crack at it.
There has been a split in my extended family for most of my life, with many of my uncles and aunts refusing to having anything to do with my mom or my brother or I.
Now, two of those uncles are apparently having serious medical problems, and there's every chance I wont know anything unless they die.
Despite this, I'm finding myself wishing I could see them one last time.
so because we needed more stress, apparently, I got word that two of my uncles are dealing with serious medical issues, and thanks to family stupidity I don't even know what hospital they were taken to, or anything.
my mom accidently called me "Dorothy" in front of my ex, and she threw a fit saying she didn't know anybody named Dorothy, that my birth name was the name given me by God, and I came really close to stopping the car and telling her to walk to the grocery store.
so here is my chronicle of my adventures in endoscopy:
after repeatedly telling the nurses and then the doctor about my PTSD and gag reflex, they gave me the normal amount of sedative and then had me clench this plastic tube between my teeth.
10 seconds later I'm gagging and they had to take it out and knock me all the way out to do the procedure.
I am going for an endoscopy tomorrow, and I'm already struggling with anxiety.
Thanks to my PTSD, I have a gag reflex like nobody's business, and therefore the prospect of having a tube shoved down my throat doesn't exactly fill me with happiness.
Checks can be made out & sent to:
Joyce Melton
1001 Third St.
Space 80
Calimesa, CA 92320
USA
Note: $6000 is the operating, maintenance and upgrade budget. Amounts received in excess of the $6000 will be applied to long term debt accrued over the last 19 years.
