The final chapter of "E-Girl: the Gift" is up. I hope people enjoy it.

https://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/fiction/75073/e-girl-gift-cha...

Birthdays have always been a bit strange for me. Growing up, it never worked out for people to be available on the actual day, so if I wanted a party, it would always have to happen a couple of days later, to the point I started joking about "unbirthdays" like in the cartoon version of Alice in Wonderland.

Usually the actual day of my birthday was a quiet one spent alone, and this year is no exception.

I dont mind so much now, especially since I do get nice messages online from friends to keep me company.

Oh, if you havent guessed, today is my birthday ...

I was having a conversation with my brother today and was talking about "life without people" which is this fascinating show, and then I apologized for going on about it.

Now, I'm wondering why I was apologizing.

Who taught me that my interests weren't important enough to share?

Sighs ...

Father's day is always kinda weird for me.

I lost my dad so young I dont remember him, and my stepdad was a horrible abusive person I could never call "dad".

But my mom did her best for me, my brother protected me, and my grandfather gave me a positive role model for men.

Then there is the fact that I am a father, even though I have felt more like a girl than a boy for 90 % of my life, and have finally embraced and integrated that girl into myself and let her become the woman she should have always had been.

Like I said, Father's day is weird for me ...

Just wanted to give a shout-out to Bailey Summers' "Snakes and Ladders".

Its an unapologetically romantic story, originally started in honor of one of our late writers here, Wren Phoenix. It has a few references to sexual abuse in one of the early chapters, but otherwise, its been a sweet story with elves, dragons, and much more.

here is a link to the title page, should you wish to try it out:

https://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/book/21927/snakes-and-ladders

Well, my mom and I went to my daughter Samantha's graduation ceremony tonight, and it was pretty good. Sam is recovering nicely from her surgery, and looked very beautiful in her grad dress.

But, Sharon decided to introduce me to the other parents at our table as "Sam's Dad. He wears women's clothes, but is a good person anyway."

I believe my response showed my level of sophistication and maturity.

I stuck my tongue out at her.

Ah well, it was a good night regardless.

My life the roller-coaster.

Went from the amazing high of seeing Weird Al in concert (Thanks to Mike and Carol) to literally holding a stuffie against my mouth so no one would hear me scream as one of the worst waves of dysphoria I have had in a very long time kicked my butt.

Sighs ..

The final chapter of By the rivers of Babylon is up. wish it was a little better ...

https://bigclosetr.us/…/fict…/74609/rivers-babylon-chapter-3

last couple of days my brother and I have been trying to do yardwork, pulling out the dandelions so then we can trim the grass. Its sad, but my brother who had knee surgery not that long ago, is still on street drug levels of painkillers, and has little or no cartilage in any of his joints, is actually in better shape than I am.

I'm in pain, exhausted but unable to sleep, and its setting off PTSD, dysphoria, and depression.

Sighs ... this too shall pass, I suppose ...

So not one of my better days yesterday. After dealing with 30 degree Celsius heat, I went to go on the chat site only to be given some error message. After panicking and leaving a message here, i eventually tried the obvious -reboot and log back in, and it worked. With that little problem solved, I decided I needed to go see a movie, and went to Deadpool 2.

Well, I am probably going to be at the hospital all day today, as my daughter Samantha is going in for surgery.

Wish us all good luck.

Okay, so I've had bad dreams, and sad dreams, and searching dreams, but I dont think I have ever had a dream quite like the dream I had last night.

I was with my brother at a mall, when I suddenly caught a look at my own reflection.

And there was a beautiful woman in the mirror.

I mean she was fantastic looking!

I wasnt sure if I should say something or not, I just kept finding reasons to look for reflective surfaces to try and confirm what I was seeing.

Make of this what you will ...

I was looking at my account info here, and discovered that my 9th anniversary of being on this site had come and gone without me noticing.

Ah, well, belated happy anniversary to me.

You guys are still the best bunch of crazies I've found yet ...

okay, so anyone following this blog knows the last while has not been very good for me.

Today kinda made up for it.

First, it was a hot day, so I decided to break out a skirt for the first time this year, and while I was out walking the dog, an elderly lady complimented me on my outfit, making me blush.

Then, tonight, I took Sharon and Samantha to a pizza place for supper, and as I got out of the car, Samantha remarked on the skirt, suggesting that I might want shorts under it in case a breeze blew it up, and Sharon agreed.

I am in a frustrating place in terms of my writing. I can visualize the final chapter of "By the rivers of Babylon", but when it comes to actually writing words ... I seem to be stuck.

sighs, I really wanted to try and finish that story so I could move on to other things ...

Well, after spending the last five days in a massive depression, I seem to slowly getting back up. Still, if anybody wants to send hugs or anything, I'll be glad to take them ...

Just when I thought my muse had decided to go find a more fun host, she brought me a new story to share with you all ...

https://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/fiction/74072/pathfinder-trio...

Do you guys remember the dancing frog from the Warner Brother's cartoons?

Well, I've been having blood pressure spikes that seem to be doing the same thing - I see it at home, but they disappear as soon as my doctor checks me.

So my doctor has ordered a special bp test, to see if we can figure out what the heck is going on ...

The last few days have been really tough, as I have dealt with first a massive panic attack on Thursday, and since then have had a couple of flashbacks leaving me feeling very ... soiled.

Hugs appreciated ...

For my fans (I still have fans, I think), just to let you know that it still will be awhile before I have more for you guys to read, as real life is eating into my writing spoons.

But I will still check in and leave kudos and comments as I can ...

So I just had a flashback, and it has left me feeling broken, and soiled.

Sighs ...

great news, my brother isnt going to need more surgery on his knee. Still a long road to full recovery, but still, its a big relief.