Well, I went today for an intake interview to get handicapped support help, and in one of those little coincidences that makes me think God has a weird sense of humor, the person who did my intake has a trans son.

I guess Disney was right. It really is a small world after all ...

I need a bit of a favor. I need a teacher or other authority figure from Whately to talk sense to Brand. But I am not as experienced in who's who at Whately as some here, so I'm open to suggestions.

Got any?

I am on the chat site quite often, and last night I was chatting with a fellow author here, Arwen, and promised I would re-read her stuff.

Its really quite good, and if you havent read any, you should give it a try.

Here is a link:

https://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/book/19524/arwens-tears

I am facing the loss of my days as a writer.

This isnt about my muse, i still get ideas, but my ability to communicate them seems to be gone.

I tried to write a little story for the Christmas contest, and despite having what I thought was a decent idea, what I produced looked more like a series of bullet points on Twitter.

It probably doesnt help that I'm grieving and fighting depression, but I am seriously worried this is the end.

To anybody who has actually read anything I've written and hoped for more, I'm sorry.

My brain is weird.

I cant even have anxiety like a normal person.

Instead of the usual symptoms, heart racing, whatever, my brain has come up with a different idea.

It finds something else for me to focus on, and goes "hey look, over here, a shiny!"

The result is I can go a long time without even realizing something is making me anxious.

I had a sad dream last night.

I dreamed that I was visiting a school, and had promised a kid I would see him in his class, only I got lost, lost my copy of Lord of the Rings which I had been carrying with me, and eventually left the school after all the classes were done and I had been told I had disappointed the kid, and then I tried to go home but found a gigantic hill behind the school that I tried to climb and failed.

My brother and sister in law made a very nice 80th birthday party for my mom, including a giant "80" made out of pictures from her life.

Hope to be able to post pics at some point ...

I am trying to track down a story, and could use some help.

The story featured "fey" like creatures who put people into the past in different bodies, among other things. The story focused on one guy who found himself in the body of a mute girl being hunted by these creatures, and Peter Pan was involved, as were aliens.

Anybody remember this story?

Got some bad news.

Sam had an allergy attack last week, and we just got back the blood tests. It turns out its her cats, and Sam is heartbroken.

She's been given a week to find a home for the 3 kittens, and I really hope we can find them loving homes.

Sighs ...

Well, I beat my anxiety, and got stuff accomplished today. I got my blood work done, got some questions answered about Canada Pension, and best of all, got my report for October done for emergency financial aid, which has been beating me silly all week.

Yay !!!!!

I had a "I cant believe I was that stupid" moment today.

I had been fighting depression and being sick for the last week, so I hadnt shaved.

So I thought I would use nair to get the hair down to the point where I could get a blade through it.

unfortunately, I messed up, got some on my cheek, and burned myself.

sighs ...

my life is hard enough, I really should stop trying to make it harder ...

okay, just for fun, I want to talk about making an unlikable protagonist.

Now, most stories dont do this. After all, the protagonist is usually supposed to be someone the audience cheers for.

But some stories do have an unlikable protagonist, so lets see if we can find out how that can work.

I have volunteered with The University of Alberta department of Medicine as a "human book" - basically a way for medical students a chance to meet some real people who might be their patients in a few years, and in this case help them understand the needs of the LGBT community.

I went to the orientation today, and tomorrow morning I will be available for the students to speak

Wish me luck ...

I had a major accomplishment today.

I was able to go to my bank and get a direct deposit form filled out and a printout of my account history for the last three months, - both of which I need for my application for emergency assistance.

Why is that a major accomplishment?

Because for the three days prior to today, I have been planning to do this, only to be foiled by massive levels of anxiety.

So despite still having that anxiety today, the fact I was able to get this done is a major thing.

I dont how many of you have suffered from writer's block, but if you have, and found a way to get your muse in gear again, I'd love to get some advice .

Well, today is been kinda a good news/bad news day.

First, the good news is I saw my psychologist and got both a letter for Welfare and his promise to complete forms for my application for handicapped assistance and send it in for me.

On the bad news, we had to go over some of the more painful parts of my history, and so i am slightly shaky, and its snowing, which is activating my arthritis.

Ah, well.

I am re-reading Somewhere Else Entirely by Penny Lane, and I can highly recommend it if you havent read it (or even if you have). Its a long story, so be prepared to get hooked for some time, though.

Here is a link:

https://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/book/24164/somewhere-else-ent...

A dream I had last night has left me shaken.

In the dream, I was back in elementary school (although I seemed to be the age I am now), and while I found some of the material far too easy, I was struggling in the class because the teachers and students seemed to be speaking in a kind of code that left me isolated, confused, and increasingly angry.

Said that way, it sounds a LOT like my real elementary school experience.

About the only good thing about the dream was people called me Dorothy, but still, I find myself being very upset about it.

Its been a bad year (or two) for disasters. Locally, last year we had a massive fire in Fort McMurry, and this year its British Colombia's turn to have terrible fires. In the states, California is also fighting fires, while Texas is just beginning the cleanup from hurricane Harvey, and apparently there is another hurricane building that is expected to hit Florida.

That's not even counting disasters elsewhere in the world.

I really hate the fact that my automatic response to being complimented is to try and downplay it.

Why cant I accept that someone said something nice about me?

Grr ... stupid brain ...