okay, just for fun, I want to talk about making an unlikable protagonist.

Now, most stories dont do this. After all, the protagonist is usually supposed to be someone the audience cheers for.

But some stories do have an unlikable protagonist, so lets see if we can find out how that can work.

I have volunteered with The University of Alberta department of Medicine as a "human book" - basically a way for medical students a chance to meet some real people who might be their patients in a few years, and in this case help them understand the needs of the LGBT community.

I went to the orientation today, and tomorrow morning I will be available for the students to speak

Wish me luck ...

I had a major accomplishment today.

I was able to go to my bank and get a direct deposit form filled out and a printout of my account history for the last three months, - both of which I need for my application for emergency assistance.

Why is that a major accomplishment?

Because for the three days prior to today, I have been planning to do this, only to be foiled by massive levels of anxiety.

So despite still having that anxiety today, the fact I was able to get this done is a major thing.

I dont how many of you have suffered from writer's block, but if you have, and found a way to get your muse in gear again, I'd love to get some advice .

Well, today is been kinda a good news/bad news day.

First, the good news is I saw my psychologist and got both a letter for Welfare and his promise to complete forms for my application for handicapped assistance and send it in for me.

On the bad news, we had to go over some of the more painful parts of my history, and so i am slightly shaky, and its snowing, which is activating my arthritis.

Ah, well.

I am re-reading Somewhere Else Entirely by Penny Lane, and I can highly recommend it if you havent read it (or even if you have). Its a long story, so be prepared to get hooked for some time, though.

Here is a link:

https://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/book/24164/somewhere-else-ent...

A dream I had last night has left me shaken.

In the dream, I was back in elementary school (although I seemed to be the age I am now), and while I found some of the material far too easy, I was struggling in the class because the teachers and students seemed to be speaking in a kind of code that left me isolated, confused, and increasingly angry.

Said that way, it sounds a LOT like my real elementary school experience.

About the only good thing about the dream was people called me Dorothy, but still, I find myself being very upset about it.

Its been a bad year (or two) for disasters. Locally, last year we had a massive fire in Fort McMurry, and this year its British Colombia's turn to have terrible fires. In the states, California is also fighting fires, while Texas is just beginning the cleanup from hurricane Harvey, and apparently there is another hurricane building that is expected to hit Florida.

That's not even counting disasters elsewhere in the world.

I really hate the fact that my automatic response to being complimented is to try and downplay it.

Why cant I accept that someone said something nice about me?

Grr ... stupid brain ...

Is there somebody willing to take a sneak peek at something I've written, and give me some feedback?

Let me know!

well, in case I didn't have enough stress, my car is now in the shop being repaired, which will wipe out what little of my bank account I have left. The anxiety over this has caused my muse to go hiding, so I cant say when or even if I'll have something new for you guys, and I'm sorry.

Anybody got a hug or two they can spare?

Well, a day that was supposed to be a triumph for me quickly turned into a near disaster, with me ending up struggling with suicidal thoughts.

I went down to the Canadian government office with my name change document and got the change done, but unfortunately, they dont deal with taxes, and told me I will have to contact Revenue Canada myself.

Then I went to the bank that has my car loan to give them my change of name, and went into my purse for the document ... only to discover it was missing.

what would you do if a dream told you you were a bad person?

This happened to me last night.

It started as what would make an interesting story on Big Closet, with me as a worker in a palace who switches bodies with a princess.

But then things got dark.

the switch is undone, but the result was that the princess got to know the real me, and didn't like what she saw, and showed me the darkness I try to keep hidden.

As Marvin the Martian would say, "Delays, delays"

In my case, this refers to a new chapter in the MYTH series. A bad combination of "trying to do real life stuff while in pain", and "Muse on vacation" has meant I am no closer to finishing chapter 3 than i have been for a bit.

My apologies. At least some of the other writers who have expressed interest are coming up with interesting ideas ...

Chester Bennington, lead singer of the group Lincon park, has died.

http://www.cnn.com/2017/07/20/entertainment/chester-benningt...

Excuse me while I cry ...

Sometimes, I get fragments of an idea that I cant turn into a story.

I have one of those at the moment, so I am giving it away to any who may want it:

It goes like this:

Alien (watching a woman paint her toenails): "What is the significance of that action?"

Woman: "What action?"

Alien: "Painting your hind claws like that."

And there you go. If you can make something of this, you're welcome to it.

If you happen to be attending M.Y.T.H., be advised. It is not wise to cross the headmistress, Victoria Regina Drakae.

Because you are crunchy and good with ketchup ...

I have just published the first chapter of "the secret of M.Y.T.H.", and I hope everybody likes it, but I hope other writers will want to join crazypagangirl and myself in playing in this sandbox.

If you have an idea you think might work, let me know, okay?

I am looking for a beta reader for the first chapter of my sequel to "Help! My girlfriend is a Unicorn!".

I need someone who feels comfortable reading what I have so far, and making comments, suggestions, questions, or whatever that will help make the piece as good as it can be.

So, any takers?

I have been given an opportunity to participate in a writer's "bootcamp" this weekend. Even if I doubt very much I could make a living as an author, I want to at least try this bootcamp and see what happens.

Among other things, I am very nervous about what to wear. They said "business casual", but I dont really know what that means for a woman.

hugs and encouragement appreciated.

I am scared I might be done as a writer.

See, almost all of my writing came out of the struggles I have had with PTSD and my gender.

Now, I have just had the biggest success in dealing with my gender issues by getting my name legally changed, and I'm scared that without that struggle my muse has nothing to feed on anymore.

Do I need to be tormented to write?

And what do I do if my muse doesnt come back?

Sighs ... I could use some huggles ...