Comedy

Healing Mishap -15-

Healing Mishap -15-
By Lanzaq

Arric brushed himself off. “Hello earth to Kate! You just teleported a 10 ton giant golem four miles into the air! You need to heal everyone so we can get out of here, like now!”

Kate sniffled brushing tears from her eyes. “ I-its fine, even if the golem had strong enough magic to hold itself together there is no way that it could actually hit us.”

“well whatever if you say we are alright, however wrong I feel this will be, I guess we are safe.” Arric said. “But still it does our friends no good to lie there unconscious.”

Healing Mishap -14-

Healing Mishap -14-
By Lanzaq
“I heard from a very reliable-”

“And drunk.”

“source that one of the last few remaining artifacts are located in this ruin.” Arric said with a small interjection from Raleigh. “And that it is only guarded by two golems and a gargoyle.”

“Stone creatures...ew.” Ash said feeling the blades on her sword. “Stone isn't nice to blades.”

“Gargoyle?” Kate said half lost in cloud-observation. “Its like a stone dragon right?”

Gaby - Changes taster

As it's Drew/Gaby's birthday on February 25th I thought I'd give you a little something to read.Originally released to attendees of the 2010 Gabycon in Dorset this is a short extract from the new Gaby book I'm currently working on Changes. I hope you all enjoy this little taster and I'm all fired up and I'll be scribbling away with fervour for the next few weeks! For now though I'll leave you to enjoy this short extract.

title

”­“”¬You seen this Drew”­?” ”¬Anna waved a bit of paper at him.

”­“”¬Dunno,”­ ”¬what is it,”­ ”¬hold it still I can’t read it flapping about.”­”

“There’s a big RPG and Manga convention at Ká¶ln Messe next month.”­”

She passed the flyer across the table to him.

”­“”¬Looks cool huh”­?”

“Gis a chance.”­”

It certainly looked like somewhere to visit”­; ”¬four huge halls full of gaming,”­ ”¬costuming and a fair bit more besides.

Valentine Walnut

How does a smitten junior-high jock get on the close side of a cold embittered lad who's the splitting-image of his stunning classic tween star heart-throb?

This Valentine's Day quickie was 60% inspired by a middle school incident which I might expand on in a larger story. Please excuse this draft's grammar; I was scurrying to get this out on the appropriate day!

Take care!

Barbie Doll at the Station Newsagents

Barbie was the kind of doll that every boy would want to play with. I certainly did, that first time I saw her on display in the station newsagents. But boys should remember that playing with dolls may lead them in unusual directions!

Susie and Jeffrey 79 - 94

Rugby Boys


A Susie and Jeffrey Novel


After some minor skirmishes, Susie and Jeffrey go from Wags to pitches and win a major battle on the playing fields of Heighton.

"Oh, Susie, that will be even worse - I can't be two people at once."

"I'm three steps ahead of you, Jeffrey. It won't matter if you're half-and-half this afternoon, because it's all taken care of by my master plan."

"I don't like the sound of this, Susie, your ideas are liable to have unintended consequences. You always make things more complicated than they need be."

"I've learned my lesson; this is genius in its simplicity," she smirked. "You won't be the odd one out, because I'll be on the pitch rugbying with you."

"What!"

"You heard, Jeffrey - we'll be as peas in a pod."

"Nuts in a fruitcake, more like - our double act will call for an even more convoluted explanation."

Susie and Jeffrey 79 - 94 by Jamie Hayworth

The Lucky One (Part 3)

Authors note: because it has been a while since I posted the last episode, and before I hand things over to Our Lady of Perpetual Ego, I feel I should point out something about this adventure. This is NOT an objective account. It is seen through our heroine's eyes, and she has a certain.... bias, that must be taken into account when reading, and it is wise to take what she says with a large truck full of salt. If you have read the first two episodes, you are probably saying something like “Duh!” but I thought I should pass on the warning Enjoy!

It Was Only A Winters Tale

"Come on kids, time for bed."

"Mu-um!" Amy whined.

"Do we have to?" her sister Zoá« chimed in.

"Yes you do, now scoot; I’ll come and tuck you up in five minutes."

"Can Auntie Maddy do it?" Zoá« pleaded, "Please?"

"Mad?" Helen looked across to her friend for confirmation.

"Okay girls, I’ll be up in five minutes."

Preparations: The Quest for the Perfect Cosplay!

Follow along with our hero as he tells the story of a guy (himself) who was brought along for the ride in his girlfriend's mad quest for perfection in costuming in preparation for the masquerade at an anime convention called Otakon. There is humor, a tiny bit of romance, and an experience he will never forget! It's set slightly in the future, and is told as a series of blog entries.

An Unexpected Engagement for Christmas


An Unexpected Engagement for Christmas
by Charlotte Dickles

Synopsis: He thought it was simply a case of helping a friend out of difficulty over Christmas, at the same time solving his own problem with a faulty central heating boiler. OK, when Bob was told what he had to do, he was both terrified and exhilarated by the prospect, but no one could have forecast how it was going to turn out.

In the Freezer - Part 3

SYNOPSIS: Nigel, and his wife, Angela, are happy to offer a temporary UK home to Nigel's Aunt Nancy, following the death of her rich husband Frank in Australia. On their first evening together, they are absolutely delighted when Nancy signs her will leaving all her fortunes to them when she dies. But wills have to be properly witnessed, and with Nancy's premature departure, someone has to witness her signature. Although the family resemblance is fortuitous, Nigel has reservations about the whole scheme. With just cause, it would appear.

In the Freezer

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IN THE FREEZER
by Charlotte Dickles

SYNOPSIS: Nigel, and his wife, Angela, are happy to offer a temporary UK home to Nigel's Aunt Nancy, following the death of her rich husband Frank, in Australia. On their first evening together, they are absolutely delighted when Nancy signs her will leaving all her fortunes to them when she dies. But wills have to be properly witnessed, and with Nancy's premature departure, someone has to witness her signature. Although the family resemblance is fortuitous, Nigel has reservations about the whole scheme. With just cause, it would appear.

This story is complete but will be released in three parts at daily intervals.

In the Freezer - Part 2

SYNOPSIS: Nigel, and his wife, Angela, are happy to offer a temporary UK home to Nigel's Aunt Nancy, following the death of her rich husband Frank in Australia. On their first evening together, they are absolutely delighted when Nancy signs her will leaving all her fortunes to them when she dies. But wills have to be properly witnessed, and with Nancy's premature departure, someone has to witness her signature. Although the family resemblance is fortuitous, Nigel has reservations about the whole scheme. With just cause, it would appear.

This story is complete but will be released in three parts at daily intervals.

In the Freezer - Part 1

IN THE FREEZER - PART 1
by Charlotte Dickles

SYNOPSIS: Nigel, and his wife, Angela, are happy to offer a temporary UK home to Nigel's Aunt Nancy, following the death of her rich husband Frank, in Australia. On their first evening together, they are absolutely delighted when Nancy signs her will leaving all her fortunes to them when she dies. But wills have to be properly witnessed, and with Nancy's premature departure, someone has to witness her signature. Although the family resemblance is fortuitous, Nigel has reservations about the whole scheme. With just cause, it would appear.

This story is complete but will be released in three parts at daily intervals.

Unexpectedly Mary Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Day three, or is it four, depends how you count I suppose, duly arrived and started much the same as the previous one. After the usual morning routine he dressed in his cycling togs before going to once again partake of breakfast. By the time the tent was down and the bags packed and installed on the bike it was heading on towards nine and strangely the intrepid explorer was feeling both excitement and trepidation at the prospect of leaving Detwang. It may have only been two nights but he was already feeling some attachment to the place. Well he'd get a last look at the place on the way out, the computer clicked on as he moved off and the next step of the adventure was underway.

The Unplanned Adventures Part N/A - Unwise Conjugation

Unwise Conjugation
A vignette in the UG series which may or may not have ever happened.

By Paul Calhoun

Dear reader: The events of the next story will show that this short (which was de-canoned even as I thought of it) could not occur before at least two years from the one previous to it. Much like Unexpected Good's epilogue, this is more of a vague possibility than anything else. For reference, the two following images which don't belong to me were the catalyst if not inspiration for this story:

The Unplanned Adventures Part 4 - Uncertain Collaboration

Uncertain Collaboration

By Paul Calhoun

Dear reader: Things go in the predictable manner and we have our heroes making good on their previous decision. Not much else to say except that I've recently been told I ought to use paragraphs, and I can reveal that in two more sections, I'll post the PDF, which has all these problems that my poor understanding of HTML (would you believe I moonlight as a pro web designer?) cannot fix, like indentation and the abysmal leading you get on these things.

Unexpectedly Mary Chapter 2

Unexpectedly Mary

I'm not intending to do weekly postings of it, it may take many, many months before you see anymore on here, the best way to read the whole thing - complete with pictures, is to get yourselves a copy of the book in either paper or digi format by heading to Scaramouch Books. As an incentive you can currently save 25% off the list price of the print version making it a great gift option for the forthcoming season!

Chapter 2

Luckily the drying room was empty and I was soon back at the
tent. What now? I'm sat here wearing a mini skirt and girl's pants and
I'm starving! Well I guess that woman didn't notice anything odd,
maybe... Nah that's stupid. I settled into writing my journal, moving
onto the ass in front of my tent to take advantage of the evening sun.
I'd actually been sat there for nearly fifteen minutes before it
occurred to me that I was just sitting about in a skirt. I was still
hungry maybe I could get away with it, there's a restaurant on the
site, I could go there, maybe?

One of My Teachers

One of My Teachers
By BillieBob
audrey-hepburn_1.jpg
Ever get a crush on one of your teachers in school?
If you’re lucky, you only make a fool of yourself!
Another tale that’s a ‘little different’. Like me.

Healing Mishap -13-

Healing Mishap -13-
By Lanzaq

The group stayed as quiet as possible as they trudged quietly down the path and eventually they came upon a landmark, however it shocked everyone, instead of a rock, or a tree or even an odd animal it was a town. Hands flew up in both excitement and horror. “A town! Yay!” Kate cried pulling the robe out and handing it to Cael before sprinting toward the town at full steam.

La Suite Danse Macabre 2

La Suite Danse Macabre


Mrs. Torre, Erica, and Vanessa give Danny a ride to school. The girls plan to tease him gently about Danielle’s début the previous year, but discover that his memories of the ensuing events are still painful.

La Suite Danse Macabre 1

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La Suite Danse Macabre

Danny Wiseborough is Vanessa Torre’s boyfriend and a gifted violinist. Although his technique and talent are a quantum leap beyond those of everyone else, he tends to suffer from very serious stagefright. Unfortunately, Danny has not been able to overcome his performance anxiety by any conventional therapy. However, the “treatment” that has twice helped him to face it, has not been entirely to his liking.

Demon of the Fallen Angels

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Demon of the Fallen Angels
by Charlotte Dickles

Copyright  © 2010 Charlotte Dickles
All Rights Reserved.

Why did most people stay away from Great-Aunt Selma's funeral? Was she a witch - or worse? Could her soul have taken over the virginal Hayley? Of course not - such things don't happen in real life. Unless it's Halloween!

 

Quillian -Book 1- Teenager from Hell -Page 39- Beasts, Do Your Stuff!

Ydde can't escape, can he? Q and I seem to have him -- right where he wants to be!
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Jamie and the Peach - 16

jatptitle.jpg

 
This is a new occasional series that takes its basis and some of its storyline from the cancelled Tokyopop Manga, Yubisaki Milk Tea by Tomochika Miyano. It’s a great series and well worth looking out, it’s a mystery why they cancelled it. For my version I’ve changed the setting from Japan to England and of course the names, then I’ve added some new characters and situations to produce Jamie and the Peach. The original series was cancelled before completion but I intend to take my version somewhat further!

Maddy Bell, September 2010

Jamie and the Peach

Chapter 16

by Maddy Bell
Copyright © 2010 Maddy Bell
All Rights Reserved.

Aliens at Roswell: A Cosmetic Conspiracy

Roswell, New Mexico, July 1947: Did a flying saucer crash there? Were aliens, live and dead, found? Would you want your son to marry an alien? What was the government covering up? I know that I swore off conspiracy theories, but as the world’s most infamous TG investigative reporter I have a duty to publish the Truth about Roswell (which I discovered by accident). Why? Because my findings have Universal (or Cosmetic) implications for our understanding of gender.

Jamie and the Peach - 15

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This is a new occasional series that takes its basis and some of its storyline from the cancelled Tokyopop Manga, Yubisaki Milk Tea by Tomochika Miyano. It’s a great series and well worth looking out, it’s a mystery why they cancelled it. For my version I’ve changed the setting from Japan to England and of course the names, then I’ve added some new characters and situations to produce Jamie and the Peach. The original series was cancelled before completion but I intend to take my version somewhat further!

Maddy Bell, September 2010

Jamie and the Peach

Chapter 15

by Maddy Bell
Copyright © 2010 Maddy Bell
All Rights Reserved.

Healing Mishap -12-

Healing Mishap
By LanzaQ

Klaus pointed at the angry red glowing runes etched above the door. “whom ever enters this portal without permission cannot leave without permission.” Klaus read aloud. “So until I say you can go, you are kind of stuck.”

Jolly Hockey Sticks


JOLLY HOCKEY STICKS
by Charlotte Dickles

The problem was there weren't enough girls prepared to play the so-called friendly hockey match against the brutes at Seacombe School. So what could Fiona, the captain of the team, possibly do?

Jamie and the Peach - 14

jatptitle.jpg

 
This is a new occasional series that takes its basis and some of its storyline from the cancelled Tokyopop Manga, Yubisaki Milk Tea by Tomochika Miyano. It’s a great series and well worth looking out, it’s a mystery why they cancelled it. For my version I’ve changed the setting from Japan to England and of course the names, then I’ve added some new characters and situations to produce Jamie and the Peach. The original series was cancelled before completion but I intend to take my version somewhat further!

Maddy Bell, June 2010

Jamie and the Peach

Chapter 14

by Maddy Bell
Copyright © 2010 Maddy Bell
All Rights Reserved.

Quillian -Book 1- Teenager from Hell -Page 34- Ambush!

Quentin returns to the school to try to get the goods on Professor Ydde.
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What could possibly go wrong with this plan?

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Emerging from the Bushes: The first 'female' president of the USA?

Another, earthshaking scoop about US politics (a 2.5 tremor on the Rorschach scale occurred as Somer wrote this). Here you will learn about a secret society that created the Bush political dynasty, and about its plan to elect a third Bush as President in 2016 (or 2020) by countering the generalized feeling that the first two Bushes were too macho for the job.

Emerging from the Bushes: The first ‘female’ president of the USA?
By: Somer Knight

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