In the near future, the real world is dying.

Every geek’s fantasy is coming true. Superheroes, dragons, spaceships, giant robots, zombies, scantily clad French maids…they have all become real. It is miraculous that civilization has not plunged into total chaos.

Struggling to adapt to their new bodies, Dirk, Mike, and Steve soon find themselves forced to use their supernatural powers to defend against horrifying monstrosities that belongeth not in the world of light...

No, I'm not talking about Comic-Con attendees.

BEMUSED

by OtteryLexa

A silly little sub-drabble I just wrote during a conversation in the chat-room.

Vampwitch Chronicles: Part 3

"OK, Osbert. When are you going to admit it?"

"Where are we being admitted? Do I need a ticket?"

"Darling, you are an exasperating bastard, but I love you. When will you abandon your male ego and admit you are lost?"

"When I'm lost, I suppose. Is there a reason for this conversation?"

"Only that we have been driving through the same landscape for half of eternity by now. If we have a destination shouldn't we have found our destiny by this time?"

"I suppose it must be your circumscribed upbringing that's at fault."

"You know what, Jeffrey, I'm beginning to believe in miracles."

"Don't get carried away, Susie, they're not so rare. A person can expect to experience an exceptional event of special significance every thirty-five days."

"Is this one of your scientific facts or did you read it on a sauce bottle?"

"It's Littlewood's law - he's what you would describe as an impeccable authority."

"I'll take your word for that, but it still doesn't come anywhere near explaining our run of luck, Jeffrey."

"Someone has to win the lottery, Susie."

Susie and Jeffrey 59 - 69 by Jamie Hayworth

Alis, the King and Queen’s personal healer examined Deirdre with a slight smile on her face while watching other disrobe. “You have changed a lot, Your Grace, since I last examined you.”

“True enough.” Deirdre agreed with a hint of resignation in her voice, but suddenly smiled. “But it has put me together with my soulmate, so I suppose I shouldn’t complain, should I?”

“Then we strike while they’re at sea.” The leader of the group announced. “And so throw the succession in Jhalmar into the chaos that suits our plans and will help us achieve our goals. Make sure our ships’ captains understand they are to take no prisoners and to leave nothing but flaming wreckage behind them.”

In which a toaster gets the sort of owner it wants.
For Erin without whom all this would be impossible.
And for Grant Naylor who is something of a demi god among toasters...

"Just for tonight, Jeffrey, suppress your ego and behave like an average fourteen year old schoolgirl."

"I can't, Susie - if I went missing it would make Denise dense."

Susie and Jeffrey 53 - 58 by Jamie Hayworth

Synopsis: Lexi wants to know how, Terri wants to know Why, but neither of them really wants to listen to what the other has to say. But in the end, something good will come of all this.
 

As I walked up the garden path towards my own front door, my next-door neighbour called to me through her open front window. "Jim!"

The sequel-continuation of Thomas the Tame's "Book of Changes" where ruthless businessman and delinquent father Alex gets his comeuppance when his cunning ex-wife uses his heirloom book of magic against him by stamping out his memory in the body of the pretty little girl which he assumed to steal it back from her possession. Now grown as Alex's ex-wife's teen temptress daughter, Miranda wants to permanently erase what lingering memories of her male past with a new spell so they'll no longer bother a girl who just wants to have fun.

Darkness. I wonder what time it is. Time to stretch and roll over.

Hey! What gives? I can’t move.

"This is pretty captivating, but give over, before someone throws a bucket of water over us."

"All right, but I am full of animal magnetism, aren't I, Jeffrey?"

"There's no doubt about it, Susie," I purred. "Don't be surprised if, one morning, you wake up and find a squirrel stuck to your forehead."

Susie and Jeffrey 48 - 52 by Jamie Hayworth

You know like the Christmas Carol story renoun,'Scrooge'! Remember the three spirits ,his back from the dead business partner § the first to visit before bedtime? The three spirits of Christmas pastΔ, presentâ„—, and futureΩ.

As I live I know death and I know life ,I know both as one and the other, I know them. Its a horrable thing when your called to die and you can't escape it. You don't remember anything about the instruction given before going to earth or even your family in heaven.

"Well, think again, Jeffrey - eating a Penguin bar is the closest I've come to killing an albatross."

"Funny you should say that, Susie, because their chicks are a delicacy; you scoff the lot - bones and all."

"What about the beak and feet?"

"Obviously not, but everything else - apart from the feathers."

"I've never seen them down Tesco's, Jeffrey."

Susie and Jeffrey 44 - 47 by Jamie Hayworth

Midway through his contract to guard Maude the Seamstrist, as she travels the Land Beyond creating beautiful clothes, Manny daily found himself wishing he had never crossed the bridge and accepted her offer. Admittedly, he had grown to like the talkative witch; however, strange things happened around her. Worse, those strange things seemed to happen too him. First trapping him in the body of Maude’s daughter, Lirial, then as a gorgeous, amazonian sized pixie. He could definitely use a quiet day off by himself. But will the most dastardly band of villains (on a skill testing exam, the only band of villains would also be acceptable) in the mountains have different ideas.

Dun-dun-dunnnn.

 
I was having great fun with the cheerleaders. “Look at my pom poms, not my breasts! Yaaaaay breasts! I mean pom poms! Watch me kick and show my panties! Yaaaaaaay PANTIES!” You can tell a number of things from this. First, I had (and have) an odd sense of humor. Second, I was perhaps not as sexually mature as other boys my age.

Okay, it's been awhile and I apologize for the wait. I know this is a short chapter, but I wanted to get it out there so hope on the story wasn't given up...

In this chapter plans are laid, some are nixed, and in general, the mayhem continues.