Vic and Chuck are back ~ With a Special Halloween adventure!

* REMEMBER - DRUGS ARE NOT COOL! DON'T DO DRUGS AND DON'T READ THIS STORY IF YOU'RE UNDER 18! THIS STORY FEATURES DRUG USE BUT DOES NOT PROMOTE IT IN ANY WAY, SHAPE OR FORM! *

~o~O~o~

"Trick or treat!"

"Trick or what now?"

"Trick or... treat!"

"Ummmmm... ok, what's with the costumes?"

"It's Halloween...?"

"It's Hallo- what now?"

"Halloween dumbass, now are you going to give us some candy or what?"

"Now why would I do that? This delicious candy belongs to me, not some lingering wannabee monsters."

"Ah screw it, let's just come back later and egg the place."

"Hey, these eggs are mine too! Stop trying to steal my food!"

---

Now when you're stoned out of your senses, Halloween can understandably be a pretty confusing day.

"Why was that kid dressed as a vampire, Vic?"

"Dude I have no idea."

"Oh shit, it's not the premier of Twilight: New Moon is it!"

"I'm pretty sure it isn't Chuck.."

"Oh poo!"

"And even if it was..... no, just no."

"Dude that movie is cool it's got vampires and...."

"Oh no, Chuck..."

"...Yeah?"

"What's the date today?"

"Why it's the 31st of Oc...tober.."

The two teens stared at eachother with increasingly widened eyes.

"It's Halloween isn't it Chuck?"

"Yessum."

5 minutes later, and Vic and Chuck's apartment was infested with discarded Halloween costumes; some tossed, some torn, and some stained with mysterious sticky fluids.

"I think I might go as a Pumpkin." Chuck thought aloud.

"How can you go as a pumpkin? You'd have to be round too..."

"Are you calling me fat, Vic?" Chuck's chubby face turned serious, as he pinned his buddy to the wall.

"Yeah man."

"Fair enough." Chuck retreated, "What are you going as then?"

"Apollo 13."

"Oh yeah, that's cool an-HEEEEEEY WAIT A MINUTE! HOW THE HELL ARE YOU GOING OT PULL THAT OFF!?"

"Simple!" Vic folded his arms chuffly.

"Dude..." Chuck stared at Vic as the pair wandered the city at night, "I dunno how you pulled it off, but you did."

Vic grinned, "And you are looking very pumpkinesque my good friend."

"Thankyou sir."

"Oh, let's try this house!" Vic said after he had begun galloping through the gate of a small house.

"Right on Vicster!" Chuck waddled after his friend, as he pushed the doorbell excitedly.

"Trick or treat!" The pair exclaimed.

"Trick or what now?"

Vic and Chuck turned towards eachother with shocked yet smiling faces.

Vic creeped through the doorway, "You're high ain't ya?"

"Are you the police or something?"

"No, no we are not. Sir, we would like to purchase some of your substances if you care to oblige?"

"You what?"

Vic sighed, "Dude can we have some weed?"

"Oh yeah sure man, here take whatever you want."

Vic and Chuck scooped multiple handfuls of the green substance into their candy bags whilst giggling.

The man turned to Chuck, with a confused expression "Hey, what's with the goofy costumes by the way?"

"Oh it's Halloween" Chuck said cheerfully.

"It's....? Oh my god! BRAAAAAAAAD!" The man shouted up the stairs to his roommate, "We forgot it's Halloween again!"

"SHIIIIIIIIIT! I'll go get my Apollo 12 costume ready!" Came the reply.

"Damn," Vic looked down at the carpet distraught, "Now I wont be the only spaceship in town."

---

Chuck looked around puzzled as they left the house, returning to the cool night air, "Where are you people even getting these Apollo costumes from anyway?"

The pair went from house to house stocking up on candy and weed.
They received the common comments; "Aren't you 2 a little old to be trick or treating?" and "Trick or what now?", before coming to a halt at the end of the cul-de-sac.

"Wait..." Chuck turned towards Vic, "Aren't we a little to old to be trick or treating?"

Vic's eyes widened, "Yeah... shouldn't we be partying or something?"

Chuck stepped back, "Woah! I don't like parties!"

"WHAT!? WHY DON'T YOU LIKE PARTIES!?"

"They're too much fun."

Vic raised an eyebrow, "...Fair enough."

"So here we are," Vic held out his arms, "Tracy Mulligan's Halloween Party!"

"Arr hell yeah! I love parties!" Chuck screamed while clapping his hands together.

"I thought you.... Ah screw it, let's goooooo!"

20 minutes later....

"Wow that party sucked man."

"Yeah I preferred Trick Or Treating" Chuck replied solemnly.

"Oh, you know where has the best treats in town!" Vic shouted.

"Willy Wonka's Magical Chocolate Factory?"

"No, I'm talking about the real world Chuck..."

"Oh... that place, sigh."

"THE HOSPITAL DUDE!"

Chuck zoomed out of his solemn state and started dancing on the spot.

In unison the pair shouted at the top of their voice, those two magical words....

"HOSPITAL PUDDING!"

"I. Can't. Belieeeve. It."

Chuck was in fits of tears, "How could they not have any pudding?!"

"The world I grew up in is gone, Chuck." Vic spoke whilst shaking his head miserably.

"I can't believe all they had was...." Chuck gulped, "Fruit bowls."

"It's a disgrace that's what it is."

"An outrage."

"I have lost all faith in humanity."

"Wanna go to a party?"

"Sure!"

"Well here we are..." Vic once again held out his arms proudly, "Lisa Silverspoon's party!"

Chuck nodded, "The popular kids certainly have cool names."

"That they do, Chuckie, that they do." Vic nodded thoughtfully.

"Ummm hey... guys?" Lisa approached and spoke unsurely, with her long brown hair dancing around her shoulders "What are you doing here?"

"We're here to PARTAAAAY!" Chuck shouted in the poor girl's ear.

"Guys, you weren't invited?"

"Well why the devil not?" Vic placed his hands on his hips angrily.

"Because..... just, because...."

"Ah, say no more," Vic backed away, "We no when we're not welcome."

"Okay, seeya guys!" Lisa smiled awkwardly, before walking back into the house - boasting her sexy legs and firm buttocks.
Yep, Vic seemed to have developed more than just a little crush on the girl....

"So...."

"This is nice beer" Vic pointed out.

"Yes it has a hint of alcohol to it, I like that." Chuck said whilst nodding at his plastic cup.

"Guys?" Lisa approached the awkwardly stanced pair, "What are you doing here?"

"Oh... we... are... here to partay!" Vic grinned hopefully.

"I told you you're not welcome here.." Lisa spoke through gritted teeth and with clenched fists.

"Yettt..." Vic paused and shrugged, "Here we are!"

Lisa's eyes darted from one stoner to the other, she whistled over her shoulder ushering over 4 of her female friends.

"Oh this can't be good" Chuck sweated.

"Unless it's a sevensome.... Ladies, is this a sevensome?"

"No." Lisa replied bluntly.

Vic turned to his orange friend, "Yeah.. this is only gonna end badly for us."

"So, Chuck, these five girls just so happen to be witches with a secret dungeon in their basement..... and this is how we've ended up where we are, chained up in this cell."

"All rather convenient if you ask me, Vic. I reckon if anyone happened to be writing a short novel about this particular experience of ours it must be working out alright for them."

"Indeed, Chuck."

"I wonder what they're going too do with us?" Chuck spoke timidly.

"Sevensome!?"

"Makes sense to me!" The pair laughed and imagined the group of girls making love to them.

Seconds turned into minutes, minutes turned into hours, and hours turned back into minutes. (Ten minutes later the 5 witches approached Vic and Chuck)

"So... you boys thought you could just sneak into our party did you?"

"Yes, yes we did." Chuck instantly replied.

Lisa's eyes burned with rage, "Oh you are so dead!"

"No, no, no ignore my friend, he's an idiot. I'm sorry ladies, we had no idea you were witches!" Vic pleaded.

Chuck raised his hand, "I had an inkling."

Vic sighed, "Idiot" he grunted.

"So..." One of the other witches stepped forward, "You like Pumpkins do you?"

"Yeah they're delicious my momma always used to-"

"SILENCE!"

"Yessum"

"Well, FATTY, let's see how you like being one then!"

A clique lighting bolt hit Chuck with heavy impact.

Vic gawped as he watched his friend shrink into a round ball, "You just turned my friend into a vegetable!?"

"Actually, technically speaking, he's a fruit."

"No, he's a vegetable because he cannot move. But yes, he is also a fruit genetically."

"So he's a fruity vegetable?"

"CHUCK IS NOT GAY, OK?" Vic rose from his seated position in anger.

"Woah, woah, woah," Another witch positioned herself at the front of the pack, "No need to get angry Apollo 11!"

"It's Apollo 13, ACTUALLY!" Vic snarled.

"Yeah.... whatever, what shall we do with this one ladies?"

Lisa walked over to the chained up teen, "You know I actually quite like this one, I think he's kind of cute..."

Vic blushed.

"So here's the plan...." Lisa walked over to her gang and spoke quietly to them all.

"Oh that's genius, Lisa!" The girls all giggled and turned towards the frightened Vic, as Lisa swaggered over to him.

She knelt down, french kissed him for what seemed like an eternity, and then whispered seductively into his ear.

Vic's eyes grew wide, wider than ever, wider than that time he smoked an actual living toad.

Lisa walked back up to the party as Vic vomited on the ground she left behind her. The remaining witches gathered around him and began to smother him with makeup, dresses, and wigs before placing him on a metal chair.

"Now..." one of the witches spoke for the crowd, "You will read everything on this script accordingly."

"NO! NO! NO! I WON'T DO IT!"

"But you must, if you are to bring your friend back."

"Plus, you already know you did it, because it's all already happened.... Lisa."

Vic looked at his reflection on the side of the metal chair, and sure enough the beautiful Lisa was looking back at him.

"Now, Lisa, this chair will send you back in time to the start of the party, YOU WILL REENACT EVERY LAST DETAIL OK?"

Lisa nodded.

Now, readers, time to blow your minds. Go back to the start of Lisa Silverspoon's party, and imagine future Vic (dressed as Lisa) doing all that stuff with present Vic. WOOOOOOOOOOOOW! NOW THAT'S WHAT I CALL A HALLOWEEN PARADOX! (A pretty messed up one too!)

Friday the 4th November...

"Dude, pass me the bong."

"There you go, Chuckie." Vic grinned dozily.

"You know...." Chuck paused to inhale a mouthful of smoke, "I was once a pumpkin for a short period of time."

"Oh really?" Vic reached over for the bong, "Well... I once made out with myself."

~o~O~o~

NOTE: Okay, so maybe there might be a flaw or two in the paradox, but it was really confusing to write so sorry if there is!
Also, I gather the paradox is a little messed up in that he french kisses himself, but yeah.. that should put you off taking drugs shouldn't it! x