This story contains strong language, sexual content and boys acting like jerks. (A little different for me) So you have been warned.
This story doesn't flow in a straight forward way, it is fairly scattered with headings for where/when each separate sequence is located - you should be able to pick up the whole storyline as you go along.
This story is just a little fun really; a silly little teen story, don't take anything in this piece at all seriously.
Enjoy. (Or at least try to!)
The Morning After
"Last night was amazing." Bill said, holding Samantha in his arms, who was still asleep.
"I was so drunk last night, but you are by far the best drunken mistake I have EVER made." He continued talking to her, despite the fact she couldn't hear him.
He smiled as he brushed her hair back behind her ear, "You're even more beautiful than you were last night." He smiled and held her closer to his chest, "I just want to stay locked in your embrace forever and ever."
Bill shuffled around for a little before pushing her away from him, "Buuuuuut it's breakfast time." He got up and walked towards the door, "I'll be back soon... my love."
The Bathroom (Part 1)
Max kicked his friend who layed perfectly still on the bathroom floor. "Dude he is passed the fuck out."
"I always knew he'd be a lightweight." Said Niall, sipping on a lager.
"We're only a couple of hours into the party as well," said Max whilst eying up his shiny new watch, "what should we do about him then?"
"Well... it's better we, his best friends, 'take care of him' before some heartless bastards take advantage of him."
"Agreed." Max nodded.
"Right, I'll need felt tip pens and a shaver - pronto!"
"I'm on it!" Max screamed in excitement, "DON'T let him out of your sight though!"
"Aye aye cap'n!"
Niall continued to guzzle down his beverage whilst shaking his head at the ungracefuly 'fucked up' teen on the floor, "Oh Keith, why oh why did you have that virgin cocktail?" he smirked. "Max better hurry up with those pens and shaver, my attention span is incredibly shor... SAMANTHA! Let's discuss me taking your virginity shall we?"
Niall waddled down the hallway, half drunk, towards a girl rolling her eyes.
The Downstairs
Niall barged into a large circle of people chatting in the kitchen, "Have you seen this guy anywhere?" He asked, pointing at a picture of Keith.
The group all grunted before dispersing.
"You carry a picture of Keith around in your pocket?" Max questioned.
"Well yeah." Niall shrugged, "I've also got you, my Spanish teacher, and Justin Timberlake."
"Seek help."
"Hey Bill." Max spoke awkwardly whilst approaching the host of the party who sat smugly on his chair as if it were a throne. "Have you seen Keith around anywhere?"
"Who?"
"Keith."
"Who?"
"This guy." Niall interrupted, showing the jock the random picture of the 16 year old.
"No I haven't fellas, why are you looking for him anyway?"
"He kind of passed out and well..."
"You wanted to write 'penis' on his forehead and shave off his pubes?" Bill asked.
"Yeah..." Max and Niall sighed in unison.
"Yeah boys, that's the dream." Bill stood up and put his arms around each of the guys' shoulders. "I'll tell you what I'll help you fi-"
An eerie silence spread across the room as the needle conveniently scratched on the record player causing the music to stop.
"Is that my sandwich?" Bill looked furiously down at the half eaten snack in Niall's hand.
"Oh I.... Max, where did you get this sandwich from?"
Max looked down at the ground awkwardly.
"YOU BASTARDS!" Bill reached behind the sofa.
"Holy shit dude he's got a gun!" Max screamed.
"RUUUUUUN!"
Bill legged it after the two fleeing boys but failed to catch them due to the added weight of his mother's bazooka.
The Hallway
"SAMANTHA! Let's discuss me taking your virginity shall we?"
"Great." SamaNtha rolled her eyes, "This guy again..."
"Oh come on baby, we both know there's something between us!" Niall grinned whilst downing his 3rd pint.
SamaNtha simply sighed and walked towards the staircase, making sure to nudge him on her way leaving Niall only able to frown at her departing behind.
"Don't be disheartened." A girl approached Niall whilst smiling reassuringly. "Samantha really likes you, though she does hide it well." She smiled in an apologetic way.
"Really?"
"Yeah I mean, EVERYONE knows there's something between you two."
"That's what I've been saying all this time!"
The girl smiled, "Soooo.... she wanted me to ask you something."
"And what's that?" Niall grinned, already knowing what to expect.
"She said, errrr.... 'meet me in Bill's bedroom asap'."
"HELL YEAH!" Niall fisted the air, before considering Samamtha's friends presence, "I mean ummm.... yeah ok, I'm sure she just wants to talk or something...." Niall's grin grew.
The Living Room
"Yeah so my Mum owns this sweet gun shop, she brings all sorts of cool shit home for me." Bill boasted to the tens of girls surrounding him on his throne.
"Wooooow your family's sooooo cooooool!"
"Yeah, the Stone family are the history of cool." Bill nodded as his ego inflated, "There are said to be cave paintings of my ancestors in Australia partying on down."
"Woooooooooow!" the random sluts all exclaimed in unison.
"Now, who wants to make Daddy a sandwich?"
Max walked past the pack of sluts and Bill muttering to himself, "Felt tips, felt tips, felt tips...."
"Everything alright there?" Bill shouted over to the puzzled Max.
"Yeah I'm just... OOOOOH CRAYONS!"
Bill watched him frollock off into his father's office before welcoming back the snack-bearing slut. "Thanks love, I'll have it in a sec, just got to go take a leak."
Max once again waddled past the pack, sniffing around a little.
The sluts all watched him in confused amazement as he followed a scent around in circles for a while.
"Ummmm can we help you?" One of them finally spoke.
"No I just.... OOOOOOH A SANDWICH!"
The Alley
Max and Niall continued to run into the night until they eventually reached a darkened alley.
"Holy shit dude." Max panted, "that was a close one, why does Bill's Mum even own a bazooka anyway?"
"No fucking idea. What are we gonna do about Keith?"
"Well we ain't welcome back there again, we'll just have to leave him, I'm sure he'll be alright."
Niall nodded and sat back against a grotty wall, "Dude I've got to be honest with you, I didn't actually take Samantha's virginity in the end."
"Oh."
"Yeah just a little anal instead." Niall winked.
"MY MAN!" Max exclaimed as the pair high-fived.
The Staircase
"Fucking hell I need a piss so fucking bad I could just bur-HEEEEEEELLO!" Bill halted and turned his attention to the hotty on the staircase. "And what would your name be?"
"Samantha..."
"Beautiful, just such a beautiful name. Hey Samantha?"
"Yes..." She sighed.
"Wanna have sex?"
"Piss off."
"Actually now you mention it..." Bill squeezed his bladder tightly, "We'll continue this conversation momentarily."
Samantha shook her head as she watched the host dash off up the stairs. She then started to overhear Niall boasting about their little 'get together' and started smiling herself before thinking it best to cover it with a frown to save herself a little dignity from any listener's-in.
She could feel his finger pointing over at her, oh the things he did with that finger in the bedroom only minutes ago...
She proceeded to watch the pair of numbskulls walk right past her before deciding to return to the bedroom for 'Round 2'. She nodded to her friend and pointed to the closed bathroom door before entering the darkened 'love chamber'.
Bill returned sometime later following on from the piss that seemed to never end, "Okay honey Daddy's ba- Hey, where did she go?" He starting looking up and down the staircase before hearing a quiet cough from behind him, he turned around to find a fairly attractive young girl staring at him.
"Well hello beautiful!" Bill shouted, whilst scanning her body.
"Ummmmm hey, I'm Samamtha's friend - Vicky."
"Nice to meet you." Bill smirked.
"Listen, Samamtha told me to tell you ummmm.... to meet her in Bill's, your bill right?-"
Bill nodded in anticipating.
"Okay to ummmmm meet her in your bedroom."
Bill let out a huge testosterone fueled YEEEEEEEEEAH as he patted the girl's ass on his way to the bedroom excitedly.
The Bathroom (Part 2)
"Oh my god!"
"He is so totally passed out!"
The two girls stood looking at the collapsed boy in the middle of the bathroom.
"What shall we do with him?"
Vicky looked over to her friend Samamtha who was being hassled by that Niall asshole again. "Hmmm.... I have an idea."
"What is it? Writing 'penis' on his forehead and shaving his pubes off?"
Vicky simply smiled, "Just help me drag him to the bedroom."
"Hey Sammy!" She screamed over to the staircase, "Follow us, and ask no questions until we're in the bedroom..."
"Hey Niall I couldn't find what you wanted so I got some crayons and a sandwich an... hey, where'd they go?" Max looked around the empty bathroom in confusion. "GOD DAMN IT NIALL!"
"What?!" pleaded Niall, as he grabbed the sandwich and dipped it in his 4th pint.
"Where the fuck is Keith?"
"Ohhh yeah right, Keith..."
Max sniffed the air a little, "You smell like spunk and adolescent guilt?"
Niall nodded chuffly before pointing to a frowning Samantha sitting on the staircase.
"Sweeeeeet. Let's go check downstairs for him." Max ushered towards the stairs while Niall followed, who was about to say something to Samantha but was stopped from doing so by someone dashing towards the toilet.
"ARRRRRRRRRRRRRR!" Bill watched as a never-ending flow of piss came out of his little friend. "I reeeeeeally have to stop drinking so much!"
The Bedroom
"Okay what's going on? And what's with the passed out boy?"
"We've got a plan to help you punish that Niall dickhead." Vicky answered spitefuly.
"And any other boys who trouble you!" The other girl, Annie, added. "It's just not fair how they treat you like an object just because you're so pretty!"
"And a virgin..." Vicky muttered.
Samantha sighed, "I'd do anything to get back at Niall, he's been hassling me ever since I hit puberty."
"Vicky clapped her hands together, "Then here's the plan..."
"I can't believe we're actually doing this!" Samantha said in disbelief.
"Okay I've shaved him and given him a little makeup, now we'll just wait for Annie to come back from Mrs. Stone's room with the clothes and wig."
"How do you know Mrs. Stone wears a wig?" Asked Samantha.
"Oh please," Vicky flapped her hand, "It's so obvious."
At that moment, Annie creeped in; "Okay I've got the stuff. That woman sure has a lot of guns..."
"Is Niall still out there?"
"Yeah he's moping around in the hallway."
"Excellent. Okay, start putting the accessories on this guy and I'll go and tempt Niall in."
"And when he enters..." Samantha interrupted.
"You start talking all sexily about him giving you anal whilst hiding underneath the bed."
"But wont he notice that it clearly isn't coming from the he-she in the bed?"
"It'll be dark, and besides when a guy's offered anal he wont pay attention to any details like that, okay?"
"Okay." Samantha repeated anxiously.
"Great."
"You know this guy actually makes a really cute girl." Annie said as she finished placing the wig on the unconscious Keith's head.
"Isn't this a little harsh on him though?" Samantha asked whilst also admiring her imposter.
Vicky once again flapped her hand, "Oh he won't remember a thing, as long as we get him out and undressed by morning. Now; can we please get going with this before Niall moves on to another vulnerable girl?"
Annie and Samantha struggled to hold in their giggles as Niall left the room following a solid 10 minutes of nastiness with a boy in a wig.
"I can't believe it!" Samantha snickered, "He actually did it! It actually worked!"
Vicky poked her head in and joined in the laughter, "Just give us a nod and point to any other guys you want us to mess with okay?" she giggled.
Monday Morning
"Good weekend?" Max asked whilst rushing his homework.
"Yeah I just spent it getting over my hangover and remembering that sweet, sweet 10 minutes with Samantha."
"That was some party." Max grinned.
"Sure was! I wonder what happened to..."
"KEITH!" Max shouted, as their estranged friend plodded over.
"Hey fellas!" Keith waved.
"What happened to you man?" Niall asked whilst he had started to copy Max's rushed homework.
"I dunno, I can only remember drinking that virgin cocktail and then waking up Saturday Morning at the Bus Station."
"Shit dude." Max laughed at his friends antics, "Oh hey there's Bill - HEY BILL!"
Bill looked over to the trio solemnly.
"What's up with you?" Niall asked.
"The love of my life was taken away from me this weekend fellas. After an amazing night, I went to make breakfast and when I got back..." tears had started falling down his cheek, "she was gone!"
"Sorry to hear buddy." Max said, only half-sympathetically.
"Who's this?" Bill asked.
"Oh this is Keith."
"Oh right, cool, I think we might have met before actually..."
Keith offered a weak smile.
"Well I best be off, that girl must be somewhere at this school; if only I could remember her name, damn it drunk Bill!"
The trio loitered around a little before also walking to classes, "You alright mate?" Niall asked Keith. "You're walking really strange."
"I dunno." Keith replied. "My ass just really fucking hurts."
Comments
Hilariously funny. I almost split my sides I laughed so hard.
This story seemed to be written by somebody with a very heavy hangover and couldn't decide in what order to put everything, but it was hilarious. I laughed so hard I actually cried. Good, very good story.
"With confidence and forbearance, we will have the strength to move forward."
Love & hugs,
Barbara
"If I have to be this girl in me, Then I have the right to be."
Where Did We Put Keith?
If Keith only knew why. But why the switch? Who sent him away as that girl?
May Your Light Forever Shine
Insane.
But fun. I was in tears through parts of this one I was laughing so hard.
Poor Keith, but at least he doesn't remember...
Very funny story.
Maggie
There is nothing funny...
...about rape. I once had an argument with my sister who swore up and down that a girl could not rape a guy. Tell that to the average male divorcee who I would surmise feels pretty much fucked.
Just fun!?!
I like fun as much as the next person so when you use the word fun as both a hook and an apology then you get my opinion. I'd say the guys were not the only jerks in this story. The girls committed a crime! Facilitated rape is a crime! And there is not a damn thing funny about it! Being a male is not a disqualifier of humane consideration. I won't let it pass without mention. Just fun! At best literary irony but labelling such as just fun leads me to wonder what in the authors mind is fun?