I am near the end of my Junior year in high school, getting ready for the prom, and I am living twenty-four/seven as Caryn getting ready for Cousin Megan’s wedding. It will be good to soon get away and be with Megan.

I have chosen a slender gown to compliment Jennifer’s fuller prom dress. We have been dating and getting to know each other better. I find it interesting that Jennifer and I find it easy to talk about fashion, and we both like going together on a different bike and walking trails. Like myself, she’s interested in environmental science issues. Jennifer’s mom likes me, but she won’t allow me to be alone with Jenn in her room.

I mentioned our previous sleepover at Hope’s and Mrs. Hanz lightly laughed. My brother’s family is laxer than we are. If Hope and Jenni weren’t both going to be there, that would never have happened. But don’t get me wrong, I am happy for Jenn and excited the two of you are going to the prom.

Cousin Megan had stopped during Easter/spring break to check on Katie and me. She commented on how she noticed changes in my personality. Katie had told her it was due to my mentor Megan Devin from school. “My opinion is that she’s done you a big favor in liberating you. Between her and your relationship with Sarai being strained; you’re developing more as your own person. I am glad you for you Caryn.”

Cousin Megan and I were both pleased that I was filling out the bridesmaid dress better than at my first fitting. Wearing four-inch heel shoes with a narrow heel, showed that I had some practice walking to do. The further I move along in being a girl; I am enjoying such times. Jenni and I went to a dance studio twice to get tips on leading one another in dancing.

Once, walking to our car as we came out, we literally bumped into Sarai and Ashley. Sarai said, “You know Caryn I am sorry that I hurt your feelings the way I did. I am glad that you and Jenni are able to go to the prom. I hope we can be friends again, I still have strong feelings for you.”

I said, “Maybe we should talk again. But right now this is my time we Jenni. Ashley and Sarai, you two are looking good. As you know I’ve stopped running track while my body is dramatically changing. From the sounds of things from my doctors, I’ll have to do a lot of training if I am going to run with your speed and endurance in the fall.”

Ashley thought I was jesting since I had already outrun Sarai. But Sarai asked, “Have your muscles and legs changed that much?”

“I’m sorry,” I said, “But Jenni and I are together. I don’t think she particularly cares to hear about this.”

Jenni speaks up, “I most certainly want to hear about you and your beautiful legs. I saw you running yesterday, but I don’t know enough to say how well you did.”

I look to the three of them and I say, “I’m just starting to stretch my legs and test my stamina. I haven’t timed myself, but I felt good. I’m hopeful. Most of all I was enjoying myself when I ran.”

Sarai sincerely said, “Congratulations, that is the first hurdle.”

I smile, “And how about you, did Auggie like hearing you’re the fastest girl in the two-mile run?”

We soon went our separate ways, for which I was thankful. I still have strong feelings for Sarai, and those feelings were welling up inside of me. I either needed a cold shower or to get away from Sarai.

The following week Megan Devin, my mentor, and I were presenting our report to Ms. Jacobi. Megan had indeed liberated my thinking. Though all the while I was physically and emotionally becoming more of a woman. We had covenanted six extra weeks for our project. Ms. Jacobi reminded me that she thought I might.

I confessed, “I didn’t think it was a good idea and I was sure Megan and I were too different to click and work together. Megan was sly in getting me to realize as you said, that I was assuming I knew more than I did. However, her shaking my perceptions caused me to learn of new possibilities and to embrace what I liked. I wish her genius could have rubbed off on me.”

Ms. Jacobi responded, “If some of her genius hasn’t rubbed off on you; what do you credit being a better student too?”

I said, “You knew quite well that I’d be challenged and either sink or learn to swim better. I’m not only a better student, I’m a better woman.”

“Did you know I stayed overnight at her house? But her younger cousins were there and she got me involved in playing house with them. I was expecting things along a different line.”

Ms. Jacobi said, “It sounds like she wanted you in experiencing somethings you have already missed as a girl?”

“She gave me so many experiences,” I said, “that I feel like a new Caryn.” Ms. Jacobi smiled which indicated she was happy to hear my response.

Jenni Hanz and I were together for an evening with her cousin Hope and Monica. Hope would be going to the same salon as us tomorrow. All three girls indicated they had taken the proper precautions to be intimate after the prom. I stared at Jenn and we talk in private. She said being that intimate wasn’t needed, but she was hoping we might. “I’m willing to help you with the solvent and to secure your gaff if you’re willing?”

She gave me a passionate kiss, and at the end said, “Please.” There was no doubt that I’d like to be intimate, but I didn’t promise anything. I don’t love Jenni as much as I still love Sarai. She said, “I’d even bring a dildo if you’d like a girl experience.”

The latter experience is in some ways more desirable, but it would include the other beforehand. I shake my eyes as I’m amused. Gary wouldn’t have both possibilities without Caryn.

Katie was awake just after me; she had a morning salon appointment. She and I talked and were happy the prom was finally here. Mom was pressing me to go to school for half a day. Thankfully my sister told our Mom that I need to shower and pamper myself before my appointment. “Mom, she still has episodes of smelling like a boy. Today of all days that should not be.”

It wasn’t until after Katie left for her appointment that Mom told me to relax and take a bubble bath with some oil soap capsules.

Jenni and I chatted over a video call. We showed off our gowns one more time and talked about jewelry and shoes. Jenni was insisting we both wore stockings as opposed to pantyhose. That was for reasons I wouldn’t have thought of.

I took my bubble bath at 10:00 a.m. Mom waited until I was properly hidden in the water before she came in. I guess mom had enjoyed washing Kate’s back now and then. She remarked as she saw how much my breasts had started to develop. She asked, “Are your breasts becoming sensitive?” …“Wow, that is sooner than I expected. You remind me more and more of Katie when she was younger.”

Having someone sponge wash one’s back feels absolutely delightful. Mom says, “I can see your waist and hips are just beginning to change as well.”

I complained, “But I’m never going to look exactly like you or Katie.” I wanted my mother to tell me I was wrong.

Instead, she said, “But your transformation is going very well. You might need to settle on being an eight instead of a ten. You will never have a monthly visitor that is not a bad trade-off.” Mom left me alone until I was dried off and back into my room ready for my appliances applied.

Mom left the solution and the glue without any immediate comment but the message of quiet consent was obvious along with the leaving of condoms. I was dressed in a fresh pair of warm-up clothes. I wore a bulkier top that opened in the front.

I was at the Salon by ten of noon. Jennie arrived just after me. I’m to have Julie as my stylist beautician. I suspect she’s a young thirty, hopefully, she’s young enough to know my excitement and give me an age-appropriate style. Jenni and I had already chosen complimenting styles. Hers was more of a perm with curls going higher on her head. My hair would be with bigger curlers giving me wavier hair. The good news for me was that it was long enough to flow upon my shoulders.”

I was halfway through my appointment when Matt’s Pam came over. She had just finished her appointment. “I’m impressed Caryn, you’re a lovely girl. Who are you going to the prom with?”

I mentioned, “Jenni Hanz, she’s two chairs over.” And I complimented her, “Look how beautiful your hair is styled. I look forward to seeing you and Matt together.”

“Our being together, almost didn’t happen. Matt’s upset that I’m not following him to his university.” I gathered that college might include a parting of ways. She said, “You probably can appreciate the quandary with Sarai choosing a college so far away.”

I guess my eyes saddened when she mentioned Sarai. She whispers, “I guess Matt is correct that you still have feelings for her.” I simply made no comment. Pam squeezed my hand and left.

Lea was the one doing my pedicure and manicure. This was my third time for a pedicure. My nails would be a soft pink and my fingernails were decorated with white balloons. It was the first time for me wearing 3/4” long nails, luckily I would have a few hours to get used to them. Once done, Jenni came over with her phone, asking, “Do you remember the night we were over Hope’s for the sleepover? Here’s a picture of your feet then, and look at them now?” I almost cried as I now had the feet of a girl.

I loved the feel and look that came as Julie took out my rollers and brushed out my hair.

It also brought back a memory of when I was five or so and my mother took me to see her younger cousin. I guess she was ready to go to a prom and we saw her first at a salon and then at her home. She’s Aunt Tiffany to me, but I remember that time and my yearning wish to be a girl so I could be as beautiful as her.

I never did wish to be a prince or some male hero, especially if it meant running over others or killing people.

Here I was leaving the salon able to see myself as a princess with my hair and makeup pretty well done.

Next at home came the body shaper and getting dressed. What made the body shaper feel great was knowing how it trimmed my body. I coveted the feeling of the slender gown going down my body.

Katie was being picked up by her boyfriend Josh and I was allowed to use Great Grams’ car again. I joyfully stopped by Grams to show off my gown and how I looked. Three of her friends, including her best friend Doris were tickled to see me. My picture was the seventh taken and put up on their entrance board.

I picked up Jenni and her parents took pictures there. Her father Jim was not happy but didn’t get nasty while I was there. My Mom and Dad would get pictures at the school’s promenade of Katie, myself with our dates. Jenni and I got bumped so that three couples were allowed to go in before us. Finally, Jenni and I refused to step out of line. Out introduction, however, was short and not so sweet.

I apologized to Jenni; she responded they jealous because were the most beautiful couple in the bunch. That could have been debated as Staci Briggs, a senior, brought Melanie Scott a classmate of ours made a couple as well. It was a comfort to the four of us that it wasn’t just one couple.

Hope, Monica, Jenni, and I were together as three couples. Travis with Hope and Jerry with Monica did walk off at times to be with other friends. Travis openly said we had too much estrogen in our group.

While we saw Katie, Sarai, and Ashley, I made an effort to stay away from them. Yet Jenni was not fully comfortable being with me when I was with Staci and Melanie. The truth was Staci asked Jenni for a dance and I danced with Melanie two times.

It was 11:30 when Jenni coaxed me into leaving and us finding a parking spot out on old river road…

To be continued…