Then one day as I was leaving home to go for my walk, Amy saw me, and yelled, “Hey Tommy. Wait up.”

I stopped, looked at her, she ran over to me, and asked, “Where you goin'?”

“For a walk.”, I replied. “I’m trying to build up the strength in my broken leg.”

“Oh. Can I go with you?”

“Sure. But, I walk a long way.”

“Where we going?”

“To the park.”, I replied. “I like to walk the trails.”

“That sounds like fun. Let me tell my mom where I'm going.” And she ran to her house and was back quickly.

We started walking at a reasonably brisk pace towards the park, and she did an excellent job of keeping up with me. I did take it a little easy for her, but maybe I didn't need to. We made it to the park and started walking one of my favorite trails. It was a trail that led to a lake, then went around the lake, and further into the park. About halfway around the lake, we came across one of the benches, and Amy asked, “Could we sit for a minute?”

“Sure.”, I replied. “Am I walking too fast?”

“No. It’s just so pretty here. I just want to enjoy it for a few minutes.”

“It is pretty here. Isn’t it?”

“Uh huh.”

We sat and watched the ducks and geese swimming on the lake. Then we saw something cool. I knew that there was an Eagle’s nest somewhere in the park, but I didn’t know where.

A shadow flashed over us. It was a shadow of a large bird. I looked up and saw one of the Eagles circling the lake. The ducks just disappeared. I pointed the Eagle out to Amy, and we watched as the Eagle circled a few times. Then the Eagle dove down and picked a fish right out of the lake, and flew away with it.

When the Eagle picked the fish out of the lake, Amy gave a little squeal and grabbed my hand, and said, “That poor fish.”

I looked at her, smiled, and said, “The Eagle has to eat.”

“I guess.”

We watched the Eagle fly off. Then I think that Amy realized that she was still holding my hand, as she let go of it like it was on fire, she said, “I’m sorry.”

“For what?”, I asked.

“Grabbing your hand.”

“It was okay. I kind of liked it.”

“You did.”

“Yeah.”

She looked at me and smiled. I smiled back.

We sat there for another few minutes, then looking at the ground, she said, “Do you remember that your mother showed me the pictures. Don’t you?”

I did remember, but I asked, “What pictures?”

“The ones ... the ones of you dressed as a girl.”

“Yeah. What about 'em.” And I thought, ‘Where is she going with this?’

“I ... I ... I really did think that you were cute.”

“Cute?”

“Uh huh. You looked just like a teenaged girl.”

“I guess.”

“No. You did. The poodle skirt and all was really nice.”

“My mother and aunt came up with all of that.”

And I gave Amy an abbreviated story about that week. Then she asked, “Your mother really understands your curiosity about things. Doesn’t she?”

“Yes, she does.”

“Did you like doing it?”

“Doing it?”

“Dressing in girls clothes.”

“Yeah. It was interesting and fun.”

“Ever do it again?”

I didn’t want anyone, even Amy, to know that I was still dressing, so I lied to Amy when I said, “No, I haven’t.”

I felt terrible about lying to Amy.

Just before we were back at our houses, Amy asked, “Would you mind if I walked with you again?”

“Of course not.”, I replied. “It’s always nice to have company.”

We finished our walk and said goodbye as we walked up my driveway, and she went through the gate between our yards. Over the next few weeks, I had company on most of my walks.

One day my mother was off from work, and I asked her, “Mom. Could we go shopping.”

“Sure honey.”, she replied. “What do you need.”

“Ah. Not me. Tammy.”

“Oh? What does she need?”

“Tammy has visited a few times, and she's always wearing one of the two outfits that you bought her. I think she needs something new.”

“You think she’s going to be here a lot?”

“I don’t know if it’s going to be a lot. It's just fun to do. I've even read some of Aunt Linda and Mary's magazines when I've been over there, and I love the fashions.”

“I see. So, you think Tammy needs some new outfits?”

“Yeah. It would be nice.”

“So, you want to go shopping?”

“That could be fun.”

“As Tommy or Tammy?”

“Ah. I’d be afraid of doing it as Tammy.”

“Honey. Why?”

“Someone that knows me might see me.”

“I’ll bet we can make you look good and go someplace where they probably won’t know you.”

An hour later we, mom and Tammy, were walking out the door to go shopping. As we opened the door, there stood Amy getting ready to knock on the door. She stared for a few seconds, and while staring at me, she asked my mother, “Hi Mrs. Young. Is Tommy home?”

I wanted to run away and hide. But I couldn’t move.

My mother looked at Amy, and said, “Hi Amy. Well, Tommy isn't here right now.”

Amy said, “Okay, Mrs. Young.” And, she just kept staring at me.

Finally, I said, “Hi ... Hi, Amy.”

“Tommy!”, she said. “I ... I thought you told me that you never dressed like this again.”

“I ... I ... I ... “

“You lied to me! Didn’t you?” And I saw tears in her eyes.

“I’m ... I’m ... I’m sorry.”

As she turned and started to run away, she stopped, turned back, and said, “I never want to see you again!”

I stood there just staring at her as she ran back to her house. My mother and I then just looked at each other. I felt the tears start to run down my cheeks. I turned and ran back to my room, and tore all of my clothes off, then lay on my bed and cried.

I heard my mother walk into the room and then felt my bed move as she sat on it. Her hand touched my back, and she said, “Honey. What happened?”

I couldn't answer her and just continued to cry. She sat with me until I calmed down enough to tell her.

Between sobs, I said, “I lied to Amy. She’d asked me if I was still dressing like a … a ... girl and I told her that I wasn’t.”

“Why did you tell her that?”

“I didn’t want anyone knowing that I was still doing it.”

“Honey.”, my mother said, “It’ll be all right.”

“No, it won't! She hates me.”

“No, she doesn't.”

“Yes, she does. I lied to her. And I should never have done that. She'll never believe me again.”

“Honey. Go and talk to her. I think she’ll understand.”

“No, she won't. She hates me.”

“Honey. Just go talk to her.”

“Please. Just leave me alone.”

“Okay honey.” My mother stood up and walked out of my room.

I laid there for a really long time. Finally, I sat on the edge of my bed for a minute, stood up, and removed all of Tammy’s clothes that I was still wearing. I then tossed all of them in the corner of my room along with the wig and glasses. Then, I put on my clothes, went to the bathroom, and washed my face.

I walked to the den, found the book I was reading, sat, and tried to read. In the whole time that I sat there, I don't think I read one page. I was thinking about lying to Amy. My mother finally walked into the den, and asked, “Honey. Are you all right?”

“No.”, I replied.

“Honey. Go talk to her and tell her why you didn’t tell her.”

“You think?”

“Yes, honey. Amy likes you, and I think she may understand if you explain it to her.”

“I guess.”

“It won’t hurt to try.”

I put my book down and walked out the back door of the house. I looked over to see if Amy was outside, and no such luck. So, I walked over to the gate between our yards, stood there for a minute, then I opened the gate, walked through it, and closed it. I walked over to the Grant's back door and stood there for a minute trying to get the courage to knock on it.

I didn’t need to knock, Mrs. Grant looked through the window and saw me standing there. She opened the door, and said, “Hi Tommy.”

“Oh. Hi, Mrs. Grant. Is Amy here?”, I asked.

“Ah. I’m sorry Tommy. She told me that she didn’t want to talk to you.”

In a very dejected way, I said, “Oh. Okay.”

I turned and walked back to my house. I walked into the kitchen door, and I think that my mom could tell by the look on my face that nothing good had happened. She asked, “Honey. What happened?”

Between sobs, I said, “Mrs. Grant told me that Amy didn’t want to talk to me.”

“Honey, I’m so sorry.”

I looked at her and ran back to my room. And, I was so upset that I missed dinner.

The next day, as I started my walk, I looked over at Amy's house and waited for her to join me. She never did. I started my walk, but only made it a few blocks, before my feelings made themselves felt, and I just headed back to my house.

The day after that, as I started my walk, I stopped and looked at Amy's house. Still no Amy. I didn't bother to go any further. I just went back into the house. My mother was home, and she saw me, and asked, “What's wrong?”

“I miss walking with Amy.”, I replied. “No. Actually. I just miss Amy.”

The following day, was a rainy day. I’d usually change into Tammy’s clothes, spend the day doing things my mother had asked to do, and maybe read or watch television. I just stood there looking in my closet at Tammy’s things, and thinking, ‘No. I can’t do this. You caused the problem with Amy. No. No. It wasn’t your fault. It was my stupidity for lying to her.’ And I just moped around the house all day.

From then on, on the rainy days, I asked my mother to take me over to my Aunt’s house.

A few weeks later school started. We were starting our last year in junior high school, and next year we would be in high school. And before this whole mess with Amy, I'd figured that she and I would walk to school together every day, but it didn't happen.

I’d see Amy at school, and she would just ignore me. We still had the same friends, but she wasn’t around them when I was. I was also getting a feeling that our friends were starting to pick sides, and that wasn’t good. All of us had been friends for a long time.

On a Thursday, after we’d been back in school for about three weeks, my friends Jim and Maria found me during lunch. I was sitting by myself, and feeling down. Very down. Maria said, “Tom. I don’t know what happened between you and Amy. But, this being mad at each other just has to stop. It’s not good for the two of you or our group of friends. And both of you have been really down.

“You two need to sit down and talk this out.”

I started to say, “I tried ... “

Jim stopped me with, “Tom. Don’t say a word! Hear Maria out.”

Maria continued with, “No one knows what happened between you two, and neither of you will tell us. And, the group hates seeing you this way, so we’ve decided that you two are going to sit down and talk this through.

“But ... ”, I said.

“No buts!”, Jim said. “You are going to do this or lose a bunch of friends. And we don't want to lose either of you as friends.”

“We’ve already had this talk with Amy.”, Maria said. “And we told her the same thing. I’m going to take Amy someplace that you two can talk. And Jim is going to take you.”

I just sat there and looked at the two of them, then asked, “Amy agreed to this?”

“Yes. She’ll be there.”

I took a deep breath, and said, “Okay. I’ll go.”

“And you two had better come to some kind of understanding.”

“I’ll try.”

You know how they say, that when you're waiting for something to happen, it makes time drag. Well, my afternoon classes did just that.

Right after school, I met up with Jim, and we started walking towards the park. We were going to a different area, a picnic area, of the same park that Amy and I had walked in. As we walked up to the picnic area, I noticed that there was no one around.

We walked over to a picnic table, and Jim told me to sit and wait. Which I did, and he waited with me. After a few minutes, I began to worry that Amy wasn’t coming. About five minutes after Jim and I had made it there, I watched as Maria and Amy walked up.

When Maria and Amy walked up to us, Maria said to Amy, “Sit down.” Amy sat down across from me. Then Maria said to the two of us, “And before you two leave here, I want you two to come to some kind understanding. If it turns out that you can no longer be friends, then we’ll live with it. If you two can be friends again, then you will have a bunch of happy friends. And I think that you two will also be happy again.”

Maria and Jim just walked away without looking back.

Amy sat across from me on the picnic table, neither of us saying a word. Finally, she said, “Tom. I guess we need to talk.”

“I’ve wanted to talk since that day.”, I replied. “But you wouldn’t.”

“I was just so mad and hurt that I just couldn’t bring myself to talk to you.”

“So you were willing to let our friendship go?”

“I ... I didn’t want to. But Tom you’d lied to me. You don’t know how much that hurt me.”

“Amy. I’m ... I’m so sorry that I lied to you. I should have never done that. I tried to apologize that day, but you wouldn’t talk to me.”

“I thought we were best friends. And best friends should never lie to each other.”

“I know. I know. I felt terrible when I did it. I should have just been honest with you.”

“So, why weren’t you?”

“I ... I just didn’t want anyone to know.”

“To know what?”

“You know. ... That ... That I was still dressing in girl’s clothes. And, that maybe I was strange or something.” I felt the tears start.

“Tommy. Don’t cry. You’re going to make me cry.”

As I wiped my tears away, I said, “Sorry.”

“Tommy. I don’t think that you’re strange. I think that you’re a very sweet person. I think that you found something that you like, and you want to explore it some more.”

“Isn’t a boy dressing in girl’s clothes weird. I shouldn’t like things like that.”

“Maybe different, but it’s not that strange to me. You have always been the most curious of our friends, not afraid to try things. And you are also the sweetest and nicest one of my friends.

“You know. That day, while you were in the hospital, that I stopped at your house to talk to your mom, and she showed me the pictures. I also asked her why you had dressed as a girl. She told me that it was you being curious. But not to be surprised if you did it again.

“I asked her why you would do it again? And she told me that it just might be something that was part of you. I guess the look on my face said that I wasn’t sure what she was telling me. So, she explained it to me.

“And you know. I don’t know why, but when your mom told me that, it didn’t bother me. It was like it was a just another part of you.

“So, I wasn’t surprised to see you standing there in a dress, but at first I wasn’t sure it was you. If you hadn’t said hello, I don’t think I would have known.”

“You stared at me like you knew it was me.”

“At first I didn’t. I was trying to figure out where I knew this girl from, then when you said hello, and I knew it was you. Otherwise, I would have never known.”

“Really?”

“Tommy, when you're dressed that way, you don’t look like you.”

“Amy can ... can you please forgive me for lying to you?”

“Just promise me that you will never lie to me again.”

As I crossed my heart, I said, “Amy. Cross my heart and hope to die. I promise to never lie to you again.”

Finally, she smiled that contagious smile of hers as she said, “Tommy. Yes, I can forgive you.”

I was finally able to relax, sit back, and smile. And I asked, “Are we still friends?”

With a bigger smile, she replied, “No. We’re still best friends.”

“Really?”

“Uh huh.”

I moved to her side of the picnic table, sat down next to her, and hugged her. And she hugged me back. I never thought something could feel this good.

Then Amy whispered, “I missed you so much.”

I felt her hug get stronger, as I whispered, “I missed you too.”

Finally, we stood up and started walking towards our homes. As we were walking, our hands brushed each other, Amy took my hand in hers, and we started walking hand in hand.

As we were walking through another area of the park, we saw a few of our friends, including Maria and Jim, sitting at another picnic table. Amy whispered, “I'm not surprised that they were spying on us. Let's just ignore them.”

“Fine by me.”, I whispered back.

I think we both noticed that all of them were watching us, and smiling.

When we arrived at our houses, I said, “I’m happy that you could forgive me.”

With her cute smile, she asked, “Why?”

“I missed our walks, and just being with you.”

“I missed it too.”

Then she did something entirely out of character. She gave me a quick kiss on the cheek, then ran up the steps to her back door, turned to look at me, and said, “See you tomorrow morning Tommy.”

As I touched the cheek that she had just kissed, I said, “Uh huh. See you tomorrow Amy.”

My mother was working on dinner when I walked into my house, she looked, and said, “I haven’t seen that smile for weeks.”

“I know.”, I replied.

“Want to tell me?”

“Sure. Amy and I made up.”

“That explains the lipstick on your cheek.”

As I put my hand to my cheek, I said, “Huh?”

“Go look in the mirror.”

I walked to the bathroom, looked in the mirror, and didn’t see any lipstick. I walked back to the kitchen, and said, “Mom. There’s no lipstick on my cheek.”

With a grin, my mother said, “I know. I saw her kiss your cheek, and just had to say something.”

“Mother!”

The next morning, Amy was waiting for me as I was leaving for school. I walked up to her, returned her smile, and said, “Good morning.”

Her smile became bigger, as she said, “Good morning Tommy.”

We walked the first block in silence. Then Amy said, “I missed our walks in the park.”

“Me too.”, I replied.

“This is nice. To be walking with you to school.”

“I know. The first couple of days after we had our problem, I started going for my walk. It just wasn’t the same. So, I didn’t go.”

“I know. I was watching you.”

“You should have joined me.”

“I know. I just couldn’t.”

“That’s all right. That’s all over with now. I’m planning on going for a walk tomorrow morning, and you can come with me. If you want to.”

“I wouldn’t miss it.”

As we walked up to the school, we saw our friends gathered where we usually meet before school, and we walked up to them. Maria was the first to see us, and as she put her hands on her hips, she said, “Now that looks a lot better.”

Everyone looked at us, and I saw a lot of smiles. My friend Larry said, “It’s about time you two.”

That Saturday started our regular walks in the park again. Plus, we walked to and from school every day, unless it was raining and then either my mom or Amy’s gave us a ride to school.

Don't get me wrong, Amy and I didn't do everything together. The guys and I did things without any of the girls around. I know Amy did stuff with her girlfriends. And of course, our group of friends did things as a group.

It had been a long time since I’d dressed up as Tammy. Like since the day that Amy saw me. But Tammy had always been in the back of my mind. Mom and I had never gone shopping.

Winter was coming, and it was starting to get colder and the days were getting shorter. But Amy and I still took our Saturday morning walks in the park.

On one of those walks, we were walking the trail that took us past the lake where we’d stopped on our first walk together. As we walked passed the bench, Amy asked, “Could we sit?”

“Sure.”, I replied.

“Maybe we’ll see the Eagle again?”

“We just might.”

We sat there quietly for a few minutes, then she, in almost a whisper, asked, “Tommy. Could ... Could I meet Tammy?”

I looked at her in a puzzled way, and could only say, “Ah.”

“I’m sorry. I know you don’t want anyone seeing you dressed that way.”

“It’s okay. But why?”

“I guess. ... If she’s anything like you, she would be nice. I know she’s cute. And I’d like to get to know her.”

I thought, ‘Tammy almost came between us. Now, Amy wants to meet her. Can I do this?’

“Tommy. What’s wrong?”, Amy finally asked.

“I’m ... I’m just not sure.”

“I’m sorry I asked.”

“No. Don’t be. It’s that she was the cause of our problem.”

“And you think that she might cause another problem?”

“Kind of.”

“Don’t be. She’s part of you. And I’d like to know that part.”

“Can I think about it?”

“Sure.”

We sat there another minute or so, and Amy said, “I’m cold. Hold me.”

I hadn't held her, in any way, since we had the talk. I put my arm around her, and she cuddled close. And I thought, ‘This is nice.'

After we’d been there a few minutes, I whispered to her, “Want to have lunch at my house? I’ll bet mom would make us some soup and toasted cheese sandwiches.”

As we were sitting and eating, I said, “Mom. Amy wants to meet Tammy.”

My mother looked at Amy, and said, “Amy. You do?”

“Yes. Mrs. Young.”, Amy replied. “I would.”

“You don’t have a problem with Tommy doing this?”

“No, ma'am. I just think he's curious about this part of himself. And it might be fun to do it with him.”

My mother looked at me, and said, “Tommy. How do you feel about this?”

“I’m not really sure.”, I replied. “Amy has seen the pictures, we’ve talked about it, and then there was the time she saw Tammy.”

Then looking at Amy, I said, “Amy. If I did this. ... You would have to promise me that you’d never tell anyone.”

Amy smiled at me, and as she crossed her heart, she said, “Tommy. Cross my heart. I’ll never tell anyone about Tammy.”

Then my mother said, “Amy. Please keep that promise, or Tommy would be very hurt.”

“I know. Mrs. Young.”, Amy replied. “I’d never do that to him.”

“What would your parents think?”

“My parents know that Tommy dressed that one time. And, like a lot of people that know him, just figured that it was Tommy being his curious self.”

“What about now, with him still dressing?”

“I don’t know. But we could just keep it between us.”

“I see. Why are you so interested in Tommy dressing as a girl?

“Mrs. Young. I really do see this as a part of him. He’s really a nice friend, and he’s smart.” Then, looking at me and getting a little flushed, she added, “And ... And I really like him, and just want to share this with him.”

With a knowing smile, my mother said, “I see.” Then she stood and walked out of the kitchen.

After my mother had left the kitchen, Amy asked, “Where were you and your mother going that morning?”

“Ah.”, I replied. “Nowhere.”

“Tommy. Remember. We aren't supposed to lie to each other. Besides the two of you were dressed up.”

“Sorry. We were going shopping.”

“Shopping. Well, you were dressed too nicely for grocery shopping.”

“We ... We were going clothes shopping.”

“That’s always fun. Was it for Tammy?”

I really thought she knew, but I said, “Getting nosy. Aren’t we?”

She frowned at me.

I grinned as I said, “Yes.”

She play punched me in the arm, as she said, “You’re so bad.”

My mother walked back into the kitchen, and said, “Kids. I don’t want you to be mad at me, but we need to talk. And I invited Amy’s mother to join us.”