On Saturday, we gave our parents the royal tour of the house and hogan. Then after lunch, we picked up their motor home. We talked about a trip to visit the Eagles on Sunday morning. Then there was a talk about the spirits, and Amy and me.

A trip to Nunzio's was called for and then a drive up to the Crest. And after a relaxing time out on the courtyard star watching, it was off to bed.

When I was up on Sunday morning, I found my mother and mother-in-law watching television. I stopped and said, good morning. Then I found our fathers sitting in the courtyard and drinking coffee. When I walked out to the courtyard, my father-in-law said, “Kai, I was up before anyone else, and I wandered out here and then out into the backyard, and I now know why you love it out here. It’s so peaceful. There’s no traffic noise.”

“I know dad.”, I replied. “This is what we wanted.”

“Kai.”, my dad said. “We’ll help you pull those wires later today. If you want?”

“Thanks, I’d appreciate it.”

I looked into the kitchen, and I noticed that Amy and our mothers were working on something. So I wandered into the kitchen and asked, “What’s cooking.”

“French toast, bacon, juice, and a surprise.”, Amy said.

My mother-in-law said, “Better tell the men to come in and make the coffee.”

I walked back out to the courtyard and said, “Breakfast is almost ready. And they said to come in and make the coffee.”

After my dad had made coffee, we all sat at the table, and I saw it, the surprise. A jug of maple syrup. And I said, “Where did that come from?”

“We just thought that you’d like some good Ohio Maple Syrup.”, my mother said.

“Like! It’s more like love.”

We enjoyed a good breakfast. As we were cleaning up, Amy said, “Our moms want me to take them to the grocery store to get things for the motor home. And we’re going after we get back from seeing the Eagles.”

“Okay.”, I said. “And while your gone, we can pull the wires through the conduit.”

“What for, honey?”, my mother asked.

“We want to put a telephone extension out in the courtyard.”

“Oh. Okay. That won’t take long. Will it?”

“We should be done well before you get back.”

After we’d cleaned the kitchen, I called Iz and told him that we should be at the reservoir in about thirty to forty-five minutes. All six of us got into the ‘68 Chevy, and we headed for the reservoir. A little more than thirty minutes later, we pulled up to a barricade that had a sign on it that said “This area closed by order of the Santa Ana Pueblo Council. No trespassing. Violators will be prosecuted.”

“Well, it doesn’t look like we’ll be able to see the Eagles today.”, my dad said.

As I got out of the car, I said, “No problem.”

I walked up to the barricade and moved it. Then I walked back to the car, got in, drove past where the barricade was, stopped, went back, and moved the barricade back. As I got back into the car, my dad said, “Kai, you’re going to get us arrested!”

“No dad.”, Amy said. “We have permission to be here. Besides, we know the Governor of the Pueblo and the head of the parks department. And they should be here shortly.”

We drove to the parking lot and waited for Iz and his wife, Nita. We all got out of the car and stood waiting for Iz. And it wasn’t long until we watched his pickup truck come up the road, and he did what I had done with the barricade. As they pulled up and parked, Nita rolled her window down, pointed, and said, “Look!”

The six of us turned and looked in the direction that she was pointing, and we saw all five Eagles soaring over the reservoir. No one said a word for a minute. I sensed Iz and Nita walk up next to us. And Nita said, “That is so wonderful!”

“Yes, it is.”, my mother replied.

We watched the Eagles for a little while, and then we introduced everyone. Then we walked down the trail and to where the Eagle’s nest was. As we walked, our parents got acquainted with Iz and Nita.

When we were at the nest site, we stood there and looked at it, and it was empty. But not for long. One of the adult Eagles flew in from behind us and landed on the edge of the nest. He turned, looked at us, and squawked. Then one after another, the Eaglets flew in and landed on the nest. Amy said, “They have gotten so big.”

“That they have.”, Iz said. “And they’re flying so much better.”

“Practice makes perfect.”, I said.

A minute later, the other adult Eagle flew in and joined their family. My father had brought a camera and was taking pictures.

“Why do they stay here with us like this?”, my father-in-law asked.

“It is because of Kai and Ajie.”, Iz said. “They have a connection with the Eagles. If I come here by myself, I don’t see the Eagles. But if Kai and Ajie are here, the Eagles are here.”

“Interesting.”, my dad said.

“Very.”, my father-in-law added.

We stayed and visited the Eagles for a few minutes, and as we prepared to leave, the Eagles took flight and circled overhead. I watched them, then said, “It is said if an Eagle circles you that they are blessing you. We just received five blessings.”

As we started walking back to the cars, Amy pointed and said, “Kai, look.”

I looked to where Amy was pointing and saw it. An Eagle feather. Amy and I walked over, I stooped down and picked up the feather, a tail feather. The others had watched what Amy and I were doing.

When we were back with the others, my mother-in-law asked, “What kind of feather is that?”

“It’s an Eagle’s tail feather, mom.”, Amy said.

“It’s so pretty.”

“Yes, they are.”

As I handed the feather to my mother, I said to my mother-in-law, “Mom Grant, I can’t give this to you, as Federal law allows only a member of a recognized Native American tribe to possess an Eagle’s feather. And I don’t want you going to jail. So, I’m giving it to my mother.” Then looking at my mother, I said, “And, mom, I want you to put it in the motor home. It will protect you in your travels.”

“I didn’t know about that law, Kai.”, my mother-in-law said. “But, I understand.”

“Thank you, honey.”, my mother said. “I’ll put it in the motor home and give it back to you when we get back.”

“No, it’s yours to keep.”

“Oh!”

“Yes, mom.”, Amy said. “You’d be surprised how many we’ve found.”

We finished our walk back to the cars, and as we were leaving, there were handshakes between everyone. Iz told me to open the barricade, and he’d close it. And, I told him that we might be back next weekend.

Forty-five minutes later, we were pulling back up to the house. Amy told me to leave the car out because as soon as she and our mothers freshened up, they were going to the grocery store.

The women went grocery shopping, and our dads and I went and pulled wire through the conduits. And pulling the wire went smoothly. Now all I have to do is make the connections and mount the telephone plugs.

After we’d finished with the wiring job, we went and moved the clothes that they were taking on their trip from their bedrooms to the motor home. We then took some pots, pans, and dishes that Amy and I were loaning them from the house to the motor home. Then we ran an extension cord from the garage to the motor home so the refrigerator could get cold, and then we filled the freshwater tank.

When Amy and our mothers were home, we took all the things that need to be kept refrigerated into the house and put them away in the refrigerator or the freezer. Everything else went into the motor home.

Then we had a late lunch, followed by a trip to the university for a driving tour. It was in the nineties today and no one wanted to walk around the campus. Then we went back to the house and talked until dinner.

For breakfast, Amy made of wonderful Southwest breakfast casserole. The casserole is made of pork sausage, eggs, onions, bell peppers, black beans, tomatoes, green chilies, mozzarella and cheddar cheeses, hash brown potatoes, and lots of seasonings.

She made enough for ten, and the six of us made that disappear. And the cornbread didn’t last long either.

As we were helping our parents pack the last of their things into the motor home, Amy disappeared into the house. When she came back out, she was carrying the coffee maker and handed it to her dad. Then she went back inside and came back with th efour coffee mugs.

There were hugs and kisses all around as they climbed up into the motor home. We waved so long as they pulled down the driveway. As they disappeared, I said, “I sure hope they come back being as good friends as they are now.”

“Why wouldn’t they?”, Amy asked.

“Being cooped up in that motor home for two weeks may not be good.”

“I hope you’re wrong.”

“So do I.”

Later that morning I walked into the office at the university, Dr. Joe was there, and I said, “Good morning, Dr. Joe. Getting any more sleep.”

“Good morning, Kai. Yes, last night was good. Mark was only up once.”

“Glad to hear that.”

“Did everything go good with Amy’s and your parents?”

“Yep. They enjoyed there time with us, and were on the road at about eight this morning.”

“Where’s their first stop?”

“The Grand Canyon for two days. Then they’re heading up through Zion, Bryce, and to Yellowstone.”

“Sounds like fun.”

“It does.”

“Your printed circuit board is in the file cabinet.”, Dr. Joe said.

“What!?”, I said. “It wasn’t supposed to be done until later today or tomorrow.”

“Someone pulled some strings.”

“You?”

“No, someone high up.”

“The Dean?”

“Bingo.”

I shook my head as I said, “Oh, well.”

I walked over to the door, locked it, then retrieved everything from the file cabinet. I sat at the work table and spent the next hour or two going over the printed circuit board.

When I’d finished, I said, “Well, this looks good. Let’s grab some lunch, and then I’ll start building this thing.”

Dr. Joe and I went to lunch at the faculty dining room, and on the way back to the office as we were walking across an almost empty campus, I said, “You know we’re going to need a way to test this project.”

“I know.”, Dr. Joe said. “Any thought on how to do it?”

“I’d say that we need a transmitter that can transmit using a frequency-hopping spread spectrum transmission.”

“Within the same band?”

“They did provide two crystals so it would have to be within the band that those crystals are cut for.”

“I know some HAMs (amateur radio operators) that might have something.”

“Remember, they can’t know what it’s for.”

“I know. But, I’ll need to know what bands those two crystals are cut for.”

When we were back in the office, I looked at the two crystals and wrote down the frequencies for Dr. Joe. Then I started mounting parts on the printed circuit board. And using a schematic, I was going to go slow and be extra careful.

Late in the afternoon, Dr. Joe said, “Kai, I’m heading out. Don’t you think it’s time to call it a day?”

“I don’t know.”, I said. “Amy’s working three to eleven, so I may work a little longer and meet her for her lunch break before I go home.”

“You’ve been working hard. You need to take a break.”

“You’re right. I’ll walk with you to your car.”

Dr. Joe and I walked to his car, then I stopped by the student union and picked up something to drink, and then it was back to the office and back to work. At around seven-fifteen, the phone rang, and it was Amy. And she was heading to the hospital’s cafeteria.

I locked up everything, set the alarm, and met Amy. We had lunch together, and as she was heading back to work, she said to surprise her for dinner.

I headed home, stopped at the mailbox, and the only thing in it was the Navajo Times. And the Albuquerque paper was in the paper box. 

When I was inside, I started looking through the pantry and refrigerator to see what I could surprise Amy with for a light dinner. I decided on a steak and pinto bean dish. And I know that we’d had cornbread for breakfast, but this dish just called for cornbread.

Amy was pleasantly surprised by dinner. Then I surprised her even more once we were in bed. I gave her an excellent foot massage.

I’m not going to bore you with the next three days, other than to say that I worked on the project, and I knew that Amy was working on the textbook that she needed for the new class that she’d be teaching during winter quarter. And if I know Amy, she was writing this textbook as if it was her doctoral thesis. Miss perfectionist.

Friday. Friday was not a good day. Something from my past came back to haunt me. No, not me, us. It came back to haunt both Amy and me.

Friday, to begin with, was great. The project was moving right along, and I was checking all the solder connections for the usual things, cold solder joints, bridged joints, missed solder points. So we figured that we’d start testing on Monday.

Dr. Joe had come up with a transmitter that would transmit using frequency-hopping spread spectrum transmissions. The HAM that he’d borrowed the transmitter from said that he had to be with us because you needed someone with a license. But Dr. Joe had gotten the HAM to give him a dummy load so that the signal wouldn’t go far.

At two o’clock I had an appointment. A doctor's appointment. Why? I’m as healthy as a horse. Aren’t I? I sure thought I was.

I need to tell you something. You see, since before Christmas, we, Amy and I, have been trying to get pregnant. We were going to keep the pregnancy quiet until our parents came out. Well, our parents are here and still no pregnancy.

A few weeks back, Amy had gone to her doctor to find out why she couldn’t get pregnant. And they couldn’t find anything wrong with her. Then after some serious talks between Amy and me, I reluctantly went to see her doctor. Yes, Amy went along.

A week ago, on my first visit to Dr. Begay, I was a nervous wreck. When the doctor walked into the room, she gave me a puzzled look, looked at Amy, and said, “Amy, I know you told me about Kai. But, I … I was expecting something different.”

“A guy dressed as a girl?”, I asked.

“Yes. I wasn’t expecting a pretty girl.”

“Thank you. But as Amy says, I am a boy with the spirit of a girl.”

“So, you really are a guy?”

“Yes.”

“Care to explain.”

We gave her a condensed version of my history. Luckily Amy’s doctor is a very liberal person. But it was hard for her to understand the two spirit thing. We told her about my female spirit being strong when I was here in New Mexico, and how she needed to be seen. I could see the doubt in her eyes. I looked at Amy, and Amy said, “Dr. Begay, we’ve had several Navajo medicine men tell us how special Kai is to her people. And it’s the spirits that guided her. She has helped her people and others in many ways.”

Of course, the homosexual question was asked, and Amy assured her that I wasn’t. Then we talked about me seeing the psychologist when I was in college and her thinking, at first, that I had a split personality, but then figured out that I did have the two spirits.

The more we talked, the more I felt the doctor relax with me. Then we talked about the time I was beaten on campus by the drunk college boys that thought I was gay, and my surgery afterward on my male parts. The doctor was concerned about this. But she wanted to run some tests to try and find out what was going on. And that included a sperm count. And today we were going back to meet with the doctor.

At a quarter to two, I walked into the doctor’s office. It was in the hospital’s medical building, so I walked. And Amy was already there. I sat down next to her and whispered, “I have a bad feeling about this.”

“Honey, it’ll be fine.”, Amy said.

At about a quarter after two, they called us back to the doctor’s office. Amy got up, looked down at me, and said, “Kai, come on.”

Reluctantly I got up, and with Amy, we followed the doctor’s nurse to the doctor’s office. The nurse knocked on the door, and we heard the doctor say, “Come in.”

The nurse opened the door for us. As we walked in, the doctor said, “Miss Young. Miss Nez. Please have a seat.”

Amy and I walked in and took the two seats that were in front of the doctor’s desk. As the nurse closed the door, Dr. Begay said, “Miss Nez, it’s so hard to sit here, looking at you, and trying to picture you as a man.”

“It is what it is.”, I said.

“It is.

“Now, we’ve run tests on both of you. And as you already know, everything with Miss Young is fine. Now, Miss Nez, looking at you, I find it hard to talk to you about the tests that we’ve run on you that we would run for a man.”

“Would it be better if I left and came back as Tom Young?”

“Who is this, Tom Young?”

“It’s my male side.”

“Could you do this?”

I looked at Amy. Then she said, “She could. But it would be hard for her. Here in New Mexico, she feels much better being Kai. Tom is in the background out here.”

I looked at the doctor and said, “Just give me the bad news.”

“How do you know it’s bad?”, the doctor asked.

Amy replied, “She has a way of knowing those things.”

The doctor looked at me and said, “Miss Nez, the tests showed us that some things are not good.”

“Like?”, I asked. And, I thought, ‘Oh Great Spirit please no.’

“Your testosterone levels are very low, and … ”

“And what?”

“Your sperm … Your sperm is misshapen and doesn’t have much mobility.”

“And that means what?”

“I’m sorry to say that the chances for you and Amy to have children is almost nonexistent. I think that there was damage that the doctors at Ohio State couldn’t do anything about or didn’t see.”

“So … So I can’t father children.”

“In simple words, no, you can’t.”

I felt the tears start. I got up and ran out of the doctor’s office. And out of the building. I didn’t know where I was going. But I wanted away from this place. I didn’t realize it, but Amy was right behind me.

I finally stopped at one of the benches on campus, sat, and bawled my eyes out. I felt someone sit down next to me, and an arm go around my shoulders. I looked, and it was Amy. I buried my face in her shoulder and continued to cry.

Amy was rubbing my back. Finally, she said, “Honey, it’ll be alright.”

I just continued to cry.

I finally said, “Please, take me home.”

“Anything that you want, sweetheart.”

Amy stood, offered me her hand, I took it, and she helped me to my feet. She led me into one of the classroom buildings and to one of the lady's rooms. She took paper towels, wet them, and wiped off my face. Then I said, “Take me home. Please.”

As we walked from the classroom building to where Amy had parked, she asked, “What about your car?”

“I don’t care about the damn car. Just take me home. Please.”, I replied.

We walked to Amy’s car and she helped me into the passenger's side. She helped me sit, then she closed the door, and I just stared out the passenger’s side window. Amy walked to the driver’s side and got in. I heard her click her seat belt, and the key go into the ignition switch. But she didn’t start the car.

Amy said, “Honey, fasten your seat belt.”

I didn’t move.

Then she said, “Honey, please fasten your seat belt.”

I still didn’t move.

Then I heard her unfasten her seat belt and start the car. I looked at her, and she said, “If you don’t wear yours, I won’t wear mine.”

That got to me. I slowly fastened my seat belt, and Amy fastened hers. And as we drove home, I just stared out the side window. When we pulled into the garage, I was out of the car before she turned it off. I ran into the house and out into the back courtyard. I sat on one of the couches, pulled my knees up to my chest, and cried.

Amy walked out into the courtyard and sat with me.

I don’t know how long I was sitting there, but I finally looked at Amy. And she said, “Honey, I love you. You are my life. And everything will be fine.”

“How can it be fine.”, I said. “We can’t have children because of me. I’m not a man. I’m a freak. Why did the Great Spirit do this to me.”

“Thomas Bly Young! You are not a freak! You’re a wonderful person. You’re my husband. My life.”

“A husband. I’m no husband. I look more like a girl. I can’t father our children. I might as well be a girl.”

And the tears started again. I felt Amy move on the couch so that she could hold me, and I again buried my face in her shoulder.

It took some time, but I finally calmed down enough to stop crying. Then Amy said, “We’re not going to the resort, are we?”

As I shook my head no, I said, “No, and don’t tell them why.”

“I won’t, sweetheart.”

Amy went into the house and made the call to Aunt Ruth. When Amy came back out, she said, “I told them that you weren’t feeling well. And they hope that you feel better soon. Then Aunt Ruth told me that Naainish left there about a half an hour ago without a word.”

I didn’t say anything, but thought, ‘I sure hope he’s not coming here. But I just know that he is.

I got up and went to take a shower. When I finished the shower, I went to the office where we keep Tom’s clothes and dressed as Tom. Not the Navajo Tom, but the old Tom.

After I’d dressed, I went to the kitchen, looked in the refrigerator, and found what I was looking for. I poured myself a glass of sangria. Then I heard Amy say, “Pour me one too.”

And I poured Amy a glass of sangria. Together we walked back to the courtyard and just sat.

About an hour later, the doorbell rang. Amy was up before I could move and heading for the front door. I think I know who it is. Naainish.

I sat there and waited. A few minutes later, Amy and Naainish walked into the courtyard. Naainish looked at me and said, “I’ll be back.”

He disappeared out of the back gate and headed towards the hogan.

I looked at Amy and said, “What’s he up to?”

“You’ll see.”, Amy replied.

Amy and I sat for almost an hour before Naainish came back in from the hogan. He looked at me and said, “Come with us.”

I looked at him and shook my head, no.

Amy said, “Do what Naainish says.”

I looked at her, and by the look on her face, I knew that she meant it. So I got up and followed Naainish to the hogan. Amy followed us.

When we walked into the hogan, the four lanterns at the cardinal directions were lit, and there was a fire burning in the fire pit. Also, there was a sand painting on the floor. Naainish pointed at the sand painting, looked at me, and said, “Sit there.”

I didn’t move but just looked at him. Amy said, “You heard him. Sit.”

I walked over and carefully sat on the sand painting. Naainish and Amy sat across the fire pit from me. Then Naainish threw something into the fire, and a cloud of white smoke rose and went out through the smoke hole. Then he started a chant, and Amy, maybe now Ajie, joined him. I resisted as long as I could, but soon the chant and the spirit of the fire won. I closed my eyes and felt myself relax.

It felt like the chant went on for a long time. When it stopped, I opened my eyes. Naainish and Ajie were sitting there looking at me. I finally said, “I don’t think that I can go on like this, Naainish. I’ve let Ajie down, and that was the last thing in the world that I want to do.”

“Kai Nez, by quitting now, you will not only let Ajie down but everyone else, including yourself. You know who you are. You know what you mean to Ajie and the people. Don’t let one thing ruin it.”

“Naainish.”, I said. “That one thing was a very important thing for us. We wanted children.”

“Kai Nez, remember that the Great Spirit has plans for not only you but Ajie. And as you’ve been told, He works in strange ways.”

“I know, Naainish. But this was cruel.”

“It was cruel. But it’s what was written in the sand. You are strong. Very strong. I feel that tomorrow you and Ajie need to go to the mountain by the fire tower and visit the sacred place. You may learn what is planned for you.”

I looked at Naainish and knew that he was speaking the truth. I then looked at Ajie, and along with a little smile, she was nodding yes.

Naainish got up and left without a word. I looked at Ajie, and she said, “We’d better call your Aunt and tell her, then go get your car.”

“You really want to do this.”, I said. “Don’t you?”

“Yes, and we need to do it together.”

We got up and went back into the house and called my aunt and told her that we’d be up early in the morning. And that we needed to go to the sacred place. Then we drove to the university and rescued my car.

When we were back home, we got together everything that we’d need for a day hike. Our pistols and rifles, our backpack, our water bottles, our hiking staffs, and our cowboy hats. Plus we put together a change of clothes just in case we spent the night at the resort.

Saturday morning, we were up before the sun. We dressed in our hiking gear and packed everything in the ‘67 Chevrolet. Then after a quick but good breakfast, we headed north to the resort.

Just under two hours later, we pulled into the resort and up to my aunt and uncle’s house. We walked into the house, and my Uncle Paul saw us and said, “I hear that you're going to the sacred place today.”

“Yes.”, I replied. “And we should be back for dinner.”

“Do you want me to show you the way?”

“I don’t think that you need to do that, Uncle Paul.”

“Just be careful.”

“We will. We have the guns with us. And water.”

“And I have a lunch packed for you.”, Aunt Ruth said.

“Thank you, Aunt Ruth.”, Ajie said.

“Now, are you going to tell us what happened?”

“When we get back.”

“Charlie and Jackie were worried about you two when you didn’t show up last night.”

“Have them come to supper tonight, and we’ll tell all of you at once.”

“Have an employee to the house for supper. Never.”, Uncle Paul said with a smile.

“Uncle Paul.”, I said. “I’m being serious. I’d like Charlie and Jackie to have dinner with us tonight.”

“Sorry, Kai. I’ll be sure that they’re here.”

Ajie and I left the resort and drove up into the mountains. We followed the roads just like we’d been here a hundred times before. We didn’t stop at the cabin but drove on past it to the fire tower. Maybe Paul Goodfellow was working this summer.

We parked at the base of the fire tower, got everything out of the car, and put together. Both of us were carrying sidearms and a rifle. And I had the backpack and a compass.

We headed off down the trail towards the cabin, and as we walked past the cabin, we noticed five cars parked by it. And we just kept on walking. We walked to the cross trail, where we knew the first marker tree was. We checked for the first marker tree, the one with the limb bent downwards, and the arrow at its base, and it was there. And that told us that the spirits wanted us to find the sacred place.

As we had in the past, we followed the other signal trees. We followed them until we reached the rock wall with the arrow and the hole. The hole was empty. We walked along the rock wall until we found the upward pointing arrow. Then we followed the steep trail upwards to the rock ledge, and then we followed the rock ledge until we reached the place where the special rock is.

Ajie and I both sat and meditated. As we meditated, a chant came to us, and we chanted. How long we meditated and chanted, I don’t know. But judging by the position of the Sun when we started and now when we’ve finished, it was a long time.

Ajie and I got up and carefully walked back the rock ledge and down the trail to the base of the rock face. Like before, we ate what Aunt Ruth had made for us and drank some water. We talked but didn’t speak of our meditation.

Then we followed the rock face to where the arrow and the hole were. Ajie looked into the hole, looked at me, and said, “There are three stones in here.”

“Three?”, I said.

Ajie reached in the hole, brought her hand back out, and opened it. And I saw the three stones. And I asked, “Why three?”

“I don’t know.”, Ajie said.

Ajie handed the stones to me, and they were heavy, just like the first ones that we found. I slipped them into a pocket in my hiking shorts. And we headed back down the trail we’d hiked in on. We passed the log cabin, and a mile later, we were at the fire tower. And standing at the base of the tower was Paul Goodfellow, the guy that mans the fire watch tower during the summer.

Paul saw us and said, “Hi, you two. I was wondering who that car belonged to.”

“Hi, Paul.”, I said. “How ya doin?”

“Great. I’m alone with my thoughts in the middle of the woods. And it can’t get any better.”

“Sounds like fun to me.”

“It is. Do you two have time to come up and visit?”

“I wish we did. But we need to get back to the resort for dinner, or my uncle will be unhappy.”

“Paul Biakeddy is your uncle if I remember correctly.”

“You do. And he doesn’t like to miss a meal. We’ll try to get back up later this summer and visit.”

“That would be nice.”

We said so long to Paul and headed to the resort. And we were back in enough time to shower and change before dinner. Kai was back.

When we were back out in the main part of the house, Charlie and Jackie were there. And we got hugs. And Jackie said, “We were worried about you two when you didn’t show up last night.”

“I know.”, I said. “I was worried about us too. But we’ll talk about it after dinner.”

Just then there was a knock at the back door. Ajie and I looked at each other and together said, “Naainish.”

“Well, go answer the door.”, my uncle said.

Ajie and I went to the back door and opened it, we both smiled and said, “Yá’át’ééh alní'íní, Naainish. - (Good evening, Naainish.)”

“Yá’át’ééh alní'íní, Kai dóó Ajie.”, Naainish said.

Then he saw everyone else, and he said, “Yá'át'ééh t'áá ájíltso. Nizhonigó íiná aadóó hozhónahasdlíí.” (Hello everyone. It is good, and all is harmony around us.)”

Ajie translated for Charlie and Jackie.

Then everyone in either English or Navajo said, “Good evening, Naainish.”

Aunt Ruth had put together a really nice dinner with fried ice cream for dessert. As we were eating dessert, Aunt Ruth said, “All right, you two. What happened?”

Ajie and I looked at each other, and I said, “You tell them.”

“Well.”, Ajie said. “Since before Christmas, we’ve been trying to get pregnant so that we could surprise our parents when they came out. And nothing has happened.

“So, I went in for a checkup. And everything is fine.

“Then Kai went in for a checkup, and there are major problems. We feel it goes back to when he was attacked and beaten at Ohio State. If you remember, he had to have surgery to repair problems with his male parts. And they feel that there was more damage then what the doctors at Ohio State found or could do anything about.”

As Ajie said that I felt the tears start.

Then Ajie finished with, “So we can’t have children.”

And when she said that, the flood gates opened. I got up and ran to the bathroom. I heard Ajie say, “We’ll be back.”

Ajie followed me into the bathroom, I turned to look at her, and she took me in her arms, and just held me. It took a few minutes for me to calm down, then I said, “I don’t know how much more of this I can take.”

“Love.”, Ajie said. “We’re all here for you. And we’ll help you.”

“I know. It just hurts so much every time I think about it. And we’re going to have to tell our parents. And I should probably tell Dr. Joe.”

“I wish I could take the hurt away from you.”

“Then, I’d want to take the hurt away from you.”

“I love you.”, Ajie said.

“No more than I love you.”, I replied. “Go on back out. I’ll be out as soon as I splash some cold water on my face.”

Ajie left me alone in the bathroom. I filled the washbasin with cold water and splashed my face with it. Once I’d dried off, I went back out to the dining room and sat back down, and said, “Sorry. But it just tears me up inside when I think about not being able to father any children.”

No one said anything for a minute. Then my Aunt Ruth said, “Kai. Honey, realize that your Uncle Paul and I don’t have children, so we know how you feel. And I want you and Ajie to talk with us before you leave.”

“Thanks, Aunt Ruth.”, I said. “We’ll do that.”

Then I looked at Naainish, and I knew not to ask him about the meteorites that we’d found today. So to change the subject, I looked at Uncle Paul and said, “Paul Goodfellow said to say hello.”

“Oh, the fire watcher.”, Uncle Paul said.

“Yeah.”

“You need to take Charlie and Jackie up there and show them the tower.”

“Tower?”, Charlie said.

“Yeah.”, I said. “It’s one of the towers that they use to spot forest fires.”

“That might be cool.”

“Yeah, if you like a ten-story walk up.”, Amy said.

“Ten stories!”

“Yeah.”, I said. “A couple of years ago, when we were up there, we counted ten landings on the way to the top, and we figured ten feet between each landing. So, this tower is over one-hundred feet tall.”

“Try one-hundred and forty-five feet to the very top.”, Uncle Paul said.

“And it’s stairs all the way up?”, Jackie asked.

“Yes.”

“Count me out.”

“But you can see forever from up there.”, Ajie said.

“Well, see.”

Ajie told Charlie and Jackie we’d be up next Friday with our parents and probably spend the night. Then I looked at Aunt Ruth and Uncle Paul and told them that they’d better come down to the house on Sunday for a going home party for our parents. Then with a little smile I told Charlie and Jackie, “And, you guys are also invited if the boss will let you have time off.”

“Kai.”, my Uncle Paul said. “I’m not that much of a taskmaster.”

With a grin, I said, “We’ll see.”

When Charlie and Jackie were leaving, Ajie and I walked them to the door. I received a big hug from Jackie, and she whispered, “Kai, our prayers are with you.”

I whispered back, “Thanks, Jackie. I need all the help that I can get.”

“You’ll be fine. You are a strong person.”

As we walked back into the kitchen, I asked Ajie, “Honey, did we bring our bathing suits.”

“Of course.”, Ajie replied. “Want to soak?”

I told my aunt, uncle, and Naainish that we’d be back in less than an hour. Ajie and I then went and spent a good half an hour soaking in one of the pools. As we were soaking, Ajie asked, “Why didn’t you ask Naainish about the three meteorites?”

“Charlie and Jackie were there.”, I replied. “And I figured that it wouldn’t be a good idea.”

“I thought so.”

Later as we walked up to the house, we noticed that Naainish’s pickup truck was still here. And I said, “Now, we may be able to find out about the meteorites.”

We walked into the house, and my aunt, uncle, and Naainish were sitting around the kitchen table. Naainish looked at me and said, “Do you have something to show me?”

Without a word, I walked back to our room and picked up the three meteorites off the top of our chest of drawers. I then walked back to the kitchen and set the three stones down in front of Naainish.

Naainish looked at the stones, and said, “Three. Interesting.”

“Yes.”, I said. “Interesting. But why three?”

“In time, you will learn why.”

“Naainish!”

“What did you learn when you meditated at the sacred place.”

“I’m not completely sure. There were parts of it that were confusing.”

“Yes. But in time they will become clear to you. Like the reason for the three meteorites.

“And you need to take the meteorites to my uncle and have him make three necklaces.”

“Three?”, Ajie asked.

“Yes, like with everything, you will know why in time.”

I just shook my head.

Ajie looked at me and said, “Sounds like a trip to Taos tomorrow on the way home.”

“It does.”

That night as we were cuddling in bed, Ajie said, “Naainish never did tell us why we received three meteorites.”

“Did you really think he would?”, I asked.

“No.

“Are you feeling any better.”

“A little. Being here with you helps more than anything. And I’m not sure that going to the sacred place did anything but add to the confusion.”

“I know, honey. It confused me too.”

Ajie then became a little amorous. Like only Ajie can.

Sunday morning, I was awake before Ajie was, so I just watched her sleep. When she finally started to wake up, I kissed her. She opened her eyes, smiled, and said, “I love that.”

“Love what?”, I asked.

“To wake up to your sweet kisses.”

“I love giving them to you.

“I had a dream last night.”

“Oh.”, Ajie said.

“It was the Indian girl.”, I said. “And she was sitting with the wolf and Eagle. The wolf had its head on her lap, and she was scratching its head. And the Eagle was holding what looked like three necklaces in its one talon.”

“You don’t think … ”

“What, that the three Eaglets and the three meteorites mean something together?”

“Yeah.”

“I don’t know. But I don’t think so. How could the Eaglets wear a necklace?”

“Good point.”

As we were eating one of my Aunt Ruth’s great breakfasts, we talked about not being able to have children. We learned that Aunt Ruth had had four miscarriages, and then she had learned that she could never carry a baby to term. And Aunt Ruth had some really good advice, and Ajie and I took it all to heart. And I’ve never seen Uncle Paul be so caring.”

Then we headed home with a side trip to see Mr. Yazzie in Taos. As we walked into Mr. Yazzie’s shop, we received our usual greeting from him, “Yá’át’ééh, Kai dóó Ajie. How are my two favorite customers?”

“Yá’át’ééh, Mr. Yazzie. We’re fine. How are you?”

“Getting older. But I’m still here.”

“We’re glad to hear that.”

“So what can I do for you?”

I set my purse on the counter, opened it, and took out a small piece of folded cloth which I placed on the counter. Then I unfolded it and said, “Make three necklaces out of these.”

“You were at the sacred place again, weren’t you.”

“Yes.”

“But why three necklaces?”

“We’re not sure. But, it’s what Naainish said to have you do.”

“Well, then we’d better do it. And I could have them for you on Tuesday.”

“We’ll be back up this way next weekend, so there’s no rush.”

“They’ll be ready when you get here.”

We thanked Mr. Yazzie, said hágoónee' - (see you later), and headed to Albuquerque.

We stopped at our favorite drive-in for lunch then went home. As we pulled into the driveway, I stopped to check for the mail and newspapers. And the only mail was the Navajo Times. Once in the house, I looked at the answering machine and nothing.

After we had everything in the house and put away, Amy asked, “So, what do you want to do the rest of the day?”

“Be with you.”, I replied.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Then the phone rang. And I said, “The machine will get it.”

“No, it might be important.”, Amy said.

“Like the ER needing you to work tonight.”

“You may be right. Let the machine get it. You’re more important.”

And we let the phone ring until the machine answered it.

Then when whoever called had hung up, we listened to the message, and it was Dr. Joe wondering if we wanted to come over for dinner.

I looked at Amy and said, “I don’t know.”

“Seeing the baby?”

“Kind of. … But it might do some good. Talking with Aunt Ruth helped a bunch.”