Part 46

Progressively I become more and more aware of what is going on around me. Things are still quite jumbled and I find it difficult to follow what's happening but there is steady improvement.

The blue eyes resolve themselves to belonging to a man dressed all in black. He has dirty blond hair and a kind smile and he stays with me as I'm being moved from one place to another. I fade off for a bit but whenever I open my eyes again, he's there with a welcoming smile.

It's difficult to figure out what is being said around and to me. Besides not being able to concentrate very well, I can't hear very well. It's like when I've listened to music way too loud wearing headphones–only worse.

I'm in what I looks like the back of a truck but for only what seems like a short time before the truck stops with a jolt and I'm once again moved.

A loud roaring sound greets us when we leave the truck and the wind is blowing everywhere. So much wind is blowing that I have to squeeze my eyes closed. Soon the roaring sound resolves itself into the steady whoop, whoop, whoop of a helicopter.

After some more bumps and jostling, the noise level suddenly drops considerably. Opening my eyes again, blue eyes is gone and in his place is woman wearing a large white helmet.

This must be a medical helicopter. I'm now on a gurney surrounded by all sorts of medical equipment. Suddenly I feel the helicopter take off and once again I fade away.

Several times the lady in the helmet shakes my arm to wake me up and tries to ask me questions but I'm so confused that I can't seem to give her an answer.

A hard jolt awakens me and soon I'm being pulled out of the back of the helicopter and a group of people are crowding around me. They look to be doctors so that means this must be a hospital.

Gee, I'm so clever. I must be getting better since I figured that out.

Soon we're inside and in an elevator. Through one of my long blinks I again open my eyes when being moved onto a larger bed.

A young looking doctor leans over me and asks, "Alex? Alex, can you hear me?"

He ate something with garlic because it's very strong on his breath. I nod my head and he smiles.

"Great. You're in the hospital now. I'm Doctor Polanski. I need to ask you some questions, can you talk?"

"Thwoat," I croak out.

"Your throat?"

I nod my head.

"We'll get you something in a minute. For now, just nod or shake your head, okay?"

"Mom, Da-Dad?"

"I think they're on their way. While someone checks, let me ask you some questions."

So I nod my head and Doctor Polanski starts asking me all sorts of things. While he's asking me questions, others are moving about me, checking me, cutting that horrid rag off of me, or sticking me with needles. It's all very chaotic and I'm exhausted by time we're done. Just before I fade out again I hear Doctor Polanski say he's sending me to X-ray or for an X-ray, something to do with an X-ray at any rate.

* * *

The next interminable period is spent being wheeled from one place to another and having a regular parade of people come by to look at me. I finally get some water to drink and it feels wonderful going down.

The nurse pulls the straw away and asks, "That better?"

"Much." My speech is still off but that's from my face being so bruised and swollen.

"Good. We'll give you more in a bit. For now, we need to get you cleaned up. First we're going to wash your hair and get rid of the lice, then a bath. You won't need to do much more than sit back and let us pamper you, okay?"

"I got lice?" I'm sure I had a disgusted look on my face.

"Honey, you got lice and bunch of other things as well. Face it, you're a mess, but we're going to get you taken care of and fit as a fiddle in no time. Now you be sure to tell me right away if anything we're doing hurts or if you're in any discomfort."

Shortly after, another nurse comes over and they wheel my gurney to another room.

"Okay, honey, it's just us girls so let's get this gown off of you. We'll need to change the sheet too when we're done."

They uncover me and schootch me up the gurney until my head is over the edge. While one of them holds my head, the other washes my hair. Whatever they're using burns my eyes and what little I can smell stinks to high heaven. I'm actually glad right now that I can't breathe through my nose very well.

After washing my hair several times they then give me a sponge bath. Given how dirty I am this is not a short process.

When they're finally done, they get me in a clean gown and onto another gurney with a clean sheet.

"Feel better now?"

"You have no idea. Thank you."

"You’re welcome, honey. How are you holding up?"

"I hurt, m-my face hurts and my side hurts. I still feel like I can't fully catch my breath and I've never been so tired. I-I really want my Mom and Dad. Do you know when they're going to get here?" I'm trying real hard not to cry.

"Tell you what, let's get you back and settled. I'll see what I can do to find out where your folks are. I'll tell the doctor that you're still in pain and see if we can give you anything and we'll check and see if your room is ready yet. Now you just lay back and rest. We'll take good care of you, honey."

* * *

I'm just dozing, waiting for the nurse to come back. Whatever they gave me for the pain is working, it's also making me real woozy."

I hear someone gasp then I hear my name. Opening my eyes I see Mom and Dad rushing over to my bed.

"Oh my god, oh, Alex, we thought we'd lost you. Oh, my baby." Mom just keeps repeating the same things over and over. Dad isn't saying anything and by the look of him, I don't think he can. I think it's taking everything he has not to just break down.

I can tell they want to hold me but they keep pulling back, just stroking my arms and holding my fingers.

When Mom finally pulls back a bit and wipes her eyes I say, "You look terrible, Mom." Then I start weeping, "Oh, Mom, she hurt me so badly." And despite the pain in my face and side I reach out to Mom so I can be held. Mom and Dad are both holding me as the tears keep flowing.

* * *

Eventually, its either I stop crying or drown. With another gasp of pain, I pull back and rest on the bed again. The nurse comes over with a wet cloth and gently cleans my face, which makes me wince some more. When she's done, the doctor comes over to talk with Mom and Dad.

"Mr. and Mrs. Conners, I'm Doctor Polanski."

Still awfully choked up, Dad replies, "Thank you for taking such good care of our little girl, Doctor."

"It's our pleasure. Now, Alex's room is ready so why don't I brief you on her condition while the nurses get her moved up and settled. By time I'm done, she'll be ready for visitors again."

"No, Doctor, I'm not leaving her side until we get her back home again," says Mom.

"Mrs. Conners, Alex will need to be here for awhile before she should be moved again."

With a lift of her chin, Mom says, "If that's what it takes. I'm not letting her out of our sight."

I just squeeze Mom's hand and the Doctor realizes that there’s no way he's going to win this argument.

With a sigh the Doctor continues, "Very well. I'll start with the minor issues and we'll work our way up. First, Alex is underweight and malnourished. Before her ordeal she weighed around 130 pounds: now she weighs 98."

Looking at me he says, "I take it they didn't feed you very much."

"I got a peanut butter and banana sandwich and a small juice box. It was hard to tell how often but it seems like it was once a day or so. When I got hungry between meals, I drank a bunch of water. It was nasty but it filled me up."

"That probably explains why we need to start treatment for some of the internal parasites you have. As well as lice and bed bugs, you have some intestinal hitchhikers that we need to get rid of.

"We're also treating all of the cuts, burns and abrasions."

"Burns?" interrupts Dad. He has a real angry look on his face.

"Yes, they look like small cigarette burns."

"They're from a stun gun," I say.

"Those are bigger than stun gun burns I've seen before."

"It was a big stun gun." I shudder at the thought and Mom and Dad both give my hands a squeeze.

"All of that is fairly minor," continues Doctor Polanski. "Far more serious are her broken ribs, her broken nose and the breaks to her cheek and around the eye. The breaks to the ribs, although painful, are fairly minor and should heal well so long as we keep you fairly immobile. The broken nose too can be repaired fairly easy; however, we're very concerned about the breaks to the orbital bones around the right eye and the breaks to the zygomatic or cheek bone and the resulting loss of sensation to part of the right side of her face.

"We're hoping that some or all feeling will return after the swelling goes down but there might be permanent nerve damage. I'm having one of our facial reconstruction doctors come over to give her an evaluation later today. He may recommend that surgery will be necessary to repair the bones; certainly it will be necessary to repair the nose. If once the swelling goes down sensation doesn’t return, we’ll do further neurological tests.

"We're doing everything we can for Alex. The folks here at UC Davis are some of the very best in the world. Your daughter is in very good hands. Now we'll need one of you to finish up the admission paperwork while we get Alex moved up to her room."

* * *

Dad goes and takes care of the paperwork while I get moved to a room upstairs. Mom is never more than an arm’s length away from me the whole time.

After I'm settled in my new bed, Mom comes over and sits with me.

"How are you holding up, baby?"

"Okay I guess. I'm tired but can't really rest. My face throbs and I really wish I could breathe out of my nose. Mom, can you find me a mirror? I kinda know what I look like from a bit of polished metal that was in the basement but it wasn't that great."

"I'll see what we can find. It's not very nice I'm afraid."

"Yeah, I kinda figured, but I need to see."

So Mom goes and asks a nurse and soon I'm looking at myself in a hand mirror. I'm shocked by what I see. I knew I was bad, and I kinda knew what I looked like but it had been a few days since I last looked at myself in that tiny bit of steel and even then, it didn't make the best of mirrors.

I just stare at myself, studying all the changes to my face. The entire right side is swollen and distorted. The bruising ranges from a sick yellow to black and every shade in between. My lips are split and swollen and the face as a whole looks like I was on the losing end of a catfight. But as bad as all of that is, I don't start to cry until I start to really look at my hair. It was hacked short and very uneven and bleached to an ugly mottled yellow.

Mom's there and she takes the mirror then gently holds me against her as the tears roll down my face.

"She wanted me ugly, Mom. She wanted it so I'd never want to leave, that the only one who would find me attractive would be Luther."

"Hush, baby. It's all over now. She'll never hurt you again and I'm here now. No one will ever hurt you again, not so long as I'm alive."

I finally fall asleep. My head is resting half on the bed and half against Mom's chest as she stands next to the bed, gently caressing my arm.

When I wake up again, Mom is still next to me, nodding her head as she dozes. It's getting dark outside.

"Mom? Mom, sit down, you don't need to be right next to me like that. You're going fall down eventually."

Startled a bit, Mom shakes her head. "You needed me, baby. Every time I went to pull away, you'd cry out."

"Oh I'm sorry, Mom."

"Shush now. There's no reason to be sorry. I told you before that I'll always be here for you."

"I love you, Mom."

"I know, honey, I love you too."

"Where's Dad?"

"He's talking with the police. They want to talk with you but we're telling them not until tomorrow at the earliest."

"I could talk now I guess."

"No, not tonight. I do know someone else who'd like to talk to you. Feel up to calling your sister and brothers?"

"Oh yeah. I'd like that. How are they doing?"

"Like all of us, it's been a very tough month. But everyone's fine now honey."

Stunned I ask, "Month? It can't be that long."

"It's August First, honey."

"Oh my god, I had no idea. I lost complete track of time."

The call to Ellen and the twins is the best medicine I could have even though it is short. Hearing all of their voices helps drive in the reality that my nightmare is over. Just as we finish up the call and I say goodbye, Dad comes back in with a new doctor.

"Hey, Dad."

"Hello, sweetheart. How are you feeling?"

"Better I think."

"Good. Honey, this is Doctor Wilson. He's here to check on some of those broken bones of yours."

"Hello, Doctor."

"Hello, Alex. Doctor Polanski asked me to give you a look-over. I've checked all your films and just want to give you a quick exam if I may. Okay?"

"Sure."

The doctor then proceeds to poke and prod, look into my eyes and up my nose and finally it comes to an end. I know he was trying to be gentle but everything is just so tender.

"Well," he starts, "it's actually not as bad is it looks. The alignment on the facial bones is good so we don’t have to do anything there. Baring any further trauma to your face they'll heal just fine. The worst of the breaks is your nose. The break has completely blocked you from breathing out of the right side and mostly from the left. It's also what is keeping the swelling up in your face. We'll need to operate soon to fix that. Don't worry though, you'll have a perfect nose in no time."

He gives my hand a pat and tells Mom and Dad, "We should be able to get her in tomorrow. Once the nose is set we should see immediate improvement. I'll go check the scheduling of the operating rooms and we'll let you know.

"You take care, Alex and I'll see you tomorrow."

After he leaves I say, "Mom, Dad can we get my pictures sent up here? You know the ones that show my profiles and the straight on shot?"

Mom says, "Sure, honey, I'll have Ellen email them to me. Why do you want them?"

"'Cause I want MY nose, I don't want a perfect one. I want my old, slightly-crooked one."

"Sure, honey, we'll have the doctor do the best he can," says Dad. "Why are you so upset?"

"I-I'm not sure, but I need to get back to what I was–at least as close to it as I can. She wanted to change me, if I can get back to what I was, looking the way I was, then she won't win. She can't win, Dad, she just can't."

Holding me as I cry, Dad says "Okay, sweetheart. Don't worry, she won't win, we won't let her."

After I’ve cried myself out a bit I pull back from Dad.

“Mom, Dad, I really need to talk to Robbyn. I have to tell her I’m okay.”

“Just a minute, honey,” says Mom, “I’m calling her Mom now.”

I don’t know why, but I’m so nervous about talking to her. When Mom hands me the phone I almost drop it.

“A-Alex?”

“Robbyn…”

“Oh my god, Alex, it is you. Oh thank god.”

We talk until I can hardly stay awake. What is said is mostly forgotten as I just take comfort in hearing her voice again.

“…so I’ve talked with Mom and she and Daddy say I can come on out. We’re checking flights and I’ll let you know when I’ll be there.”

“No! Robbyn, you know I want you here, I want that more than anything, but with me in the hospital and not really knowing when I’ll be home, well just hold off on that for now. I’ll let you know, I promise. Just…well, not yet.”

“Oh, okay then. Um, well you need to promise that you’ll call me every day. Please Alex.”

“I will Robbyn, I promise. Now I’ve got to go. The meds they’ve given me are about to put me out. I’ll call tomorrow. Love you.”

“I love you too, Alex. Take care.”

* * *

That night the nightmares start. I’m awakened finally by Dad calling out my name and holding my hands to keep them from flailing.

When I’m fully awake I tell him, “Oh, Dad, she was there with that knife. She was coming for me.”

“Hush, baby, it was just a nightmare, you’re safe. Everything will be okay, sweetheart.”

I then notice that there’s a nurse in the room over by the chair that Mom’s in.

"Mom?"

The nurse shifts her position and I see Mom and she has blood on shirt.

"Mom!"

"It's okay, honey, I just have a little bloody nose is all."

I then notice some blood on my sheet and I realize that I gave her that bloody nose.

"Oh, Mom, I'm so sorry. Dad is she okay?"

"Shhh, honey. Your mother is fine."

"I'm sorry, Dad."

"It was an accident, honey. Why don't you see if you can go back to sleep. You need the rest."

With a shudder I reply, "I don't think I can sleep. Not after that dream and not having given Mom a bloody nose."

The nurse finishes up with Mom and comes over and checks my IV lines and asks, "Your Mom is fine honey. How are you doing? Are you in any pain?"

Looking over at Mom, she gives me a thumbs up and a smile from behind her ice pack.

"The pain isn't too bad. It's about the same as it was awhile ago. I'm really hungry though. Could I get something to eat please?"

"Oh, honey, I'm sorry but you're scheduled to have your operation in the morning. I'm afraid you can't have anything to eat before then. I'll bring you in a popsicle and you can suck on that. It'll help a little bit."

After the nurse brings me my popsicle I ask, "Mom, Dad, how'd you guys find me anyway?"

Dad replies, "Well, it took us about twenty minutes at first to realize that you weren't in the house any more and if your brothers had come home five minutes earlier, you might not have been taken at all. They actually saw the van that took you pull out of our driveway.

"Between Robbyn having ice-cream down her top and the arrival of your brothers, it wasn't until they asked where you were that we realized that you were gone. We spent about another twenty minutes looking for you. We knew that you'd never just disappear like that and especially not without your purse and phone so we called the police.

"Your brothers remembered the van leaving but we really didn't have a very good description of it. The police checked out your phone and we discovered the video you took. Everyone assumed that those three boys had something to do with your disappearance. It took some time to find them and verify that they all had an alibi. The police then started looking for that Luther fellow.

"He and his mother had already moved out of their small apartment and it wasn't until the police got a tip that we found out where they had you. The FBI had their people out there in no time. We didn't know much of this until after the FBI pulled you out of the house.

"This was the worst time of our lives, honey. When we didn't get a ransom note we feared that we might not ever find you but we knew we could never give up hope."

“I was so scared, Dad. I didn’t know how I was ever going to get away from that crazy woman.”

“Well you're safe now, sweetheart and she’ll never bother you again.”

I just stare down at my hands, remembering all that had happened to me.

“Poor Luther,” I softly say.

“Why do you say that, honey?”

“Dad, I think he was almost as much a victim as I was. It was his mother who was the psychopath. When I was nice to Luther, I think that was the first time that anyone had been. He had this idea that as soon as he married me, I would love him. He didn’t understand that people get married because they love each other and not to love each other. In the end he fought his mother to protect me. I think that when he turned towards me when I was being rescued, he was looking for protection, not to hurt me. It’s so sad really. He’s dead now, Dad, he’s dead. He didn’t need to die.”

Dad leans into me so I can hug him and cry on his shoulder. Soon I cry myself out and drift off to sleep again.

* * *

…and so at a rustic cabin outside the town of Paradise, the hell for one little girl is now over.

*Click*

Dad turns off the television.

“Well, Dad, I’m certainly glad you and Mom aren’t letting any of those reporters near me. I really don’t want to talk about this with them. In fact, I’d just as soon forget this whole thing. You can continue to handle all the interviews.”

"All the interest should start to die down in a little while. Your mother and I have made it perfectly clear that you will not be giving any interviews and we think that our wishes will be honored for the most part."

At this point a nurse comes into the room with an orderly pushing a gurney.

"Good morning, Alex. All ready to get that nose fixed up?"

"You have no idea. Dad, is Mom going to make it back in time?"

"She'll be here, sweetheart."

"Okay," says the nurse, "let's get you moved over here. Don't worry about your Mom, we'll send her down to the operating room waiting area as soon as she gets here. Now let's take it nice and easy."

Getting over to the gurney is rather painful. I never realized just how much strain my ribs took, just moving in little bits, until I had two of them broken.

Dad walks with us as we go down to the operating room. There's still no sign of Mom.

I'm not in the waiting room long when the anesthesiologist comes in to talk with me and explain what will be happening. Just before he goes, he gives me a shot that soon has me almost completely out of it. I can't even keep my eyes open, but I fight it.

"How are you doing, sweetheart?" asks Dad.

"I don't like feeling like this. I love you Dad."

"I love you too, sweetheart."

"Dad, where's Mom? She's going to make it isn't she?"

"I'm right here, baby. I told you I'd be back in time."

"Oh, Mom, I love you."

As I finally give in to the drug, I hear Mom say, "I love you too, baby, I love you too."