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Part 28

As soon as we get home and in the door, I gave Mom a big hug and kiss then dash downstairs to see Ellen.

I open the downstairs door and call out, “Hey, Ellen, you’ll never guess what I did.”

Halfway into the room I finally notice that Ellen has company, a tall guy with long curly blond hair and wearing an extremely loud tie-dyed shirt, jean shorts and sandals.

“Oh I’m sorry, Ellen: I didn’t realize you had company. I’ll leave you. Come get me when you have some time, I want to tell you about our trip.”

“Wait, Alex, it’s okay,” says Ellen. “This is a friend of mine from school.”

“Well I really don’t want to intrude and I need to change anyway, so catch me later, okay?”

“I’ll come with you. Monkey, get another drink and we’ll be right back down.”

Monkey?

Ellen follows me back upstairs and I ask, “Did I just hear you call that guy a monkey?”

“No, you heard me call him Monkey, that’s his name.”

“His parents hated him, right?”

Giggling she replies, “No, his real name is Mike Keys and over time it all got morphed into Monkey. It fits him, too. He’s a nice guy–if a bit weird.”

I giggle at that and pause in the front hallway to grab my overnight bag and head upstairs.

“He’s here to talk to you.”

“Me? What on earth for?”

“Well, he’s in the film department and we were talking and I was telling him about the run we had the other day and he needs to do his senior project and wants to film you doing your run.”

“You’re kidding, right?”

“Nope. I think it would be cool to film what you do.”

“I don’t know, sis, I don’t know how comfortable I’d be having that done.”

“Will you at least talk to him? He’s real nice and like I said, it might be fun.”

“Well, okay. Let me finish changing and we’ll go talk with him.”

So I change into some shorts and a tank top and we head back downstairs.

“Hey, Monkey, this is my sister Alex. Alex, this is my friend Monkey.”

“Hey, Monkey.”

“Peace. Did your sis tell you what the scene is?”

“What?”

“Yes, Monkey, I did. You might want to fill in the details, though.”

“Groovy. Well your sis was telling me what a bitchin’ run you do, like across the roofs and all. Well, I got to think’n’ that your Parkour stuff could be a far out piece for me to do for my senior study, ya dig? So would you like be hip with that?”

I just stand there baffled. I think I only caught about a third of what he just said.

In a stage whisper, I say to Ellen, “It’s like he’s trying to communicate with me. I see his lips move but I don’t understand a word he’s saying.”

Ellen laughs and says, “Okay, Monkey, easy on the hippie surfer speak. Not everyone gets it, ya dig? Alex, he just said he wants to film you doing your Parkour run.”

“Sorry, babe. Your sister is right. I’d like to get several cameras along your route to capture as many angles as I can. If we do this right, it’ll look better than any you can find on the Internet and with the right theme, it’ll work for my senior project. So, ya willing?”

“Hmm, I don’t know. I don’t know about being watched and filmed and I’m also not sure if I’m good enough for what you want.”

“Are you kidding, sis? You’re fantastic. Come on, you can do it.”

“When would you want to do this?”

“Babe, I could do this tomorrow if you’re willing.”

I pace back and forth thinking this out. Ellen is kind of pleading with her eyes and as strange as Monkey is and how he speaks, he really seems to be a nice guy.

“Okay, I’ll do it, but on two conditions. First, I get a finished and an unedited copy of all the film for myself.” Holding up and showing him the backs of my hands I say, “And second, I just got these babies done, and if I break a nail doing this, you pay to fix it. Deal?”

Ellen starts to laugh and Monkey just gives me a huge grin and says, “You’re a far out chick, it’s a deal.”

“Groovy, I’ll see you tomorrow morning then. I’m going to go see Mom and tell her about my trip. See ya, Monkey.”

“Bye.”

“I’ll be up later, Alex; I want to hear about your trip, too.”

***

Journal Entry: April 29^th

Oh my stars, where do I start? The last few days have been absolutely crazy. I’ve been doing some heavy thinking and well there’s just been so much going on.

Okay, I’ll save the heavy thinking part ’til later. First, I think the last time I mentioned that Dad was going to take me on his trip down to San Diego. We got back this afternoon and was it ever a blast.

We flew down there in the company helicopter and the pilot is this lady named Bridget Parker and is she ever so cool. The flight down was great. The view is amazing from a helicopter and the ride home was even better. As I said, Bridget is way cool. She learned to fly in the military and she was telling me all about it. Anyway, on the way back home, she let me ride up front with her! At one point, she let me hold the controls and we basically maneuvered the helicopter together. She said she thought I had what it takes to make a good pilot and I’m going to see what it would take to learn to fly, maybe I could get lessons for my birthday. Wouldn’t that be something?

Okay, so we get down to the corporate offices and I’m being Dad’s assistant and all. So we meet the head of the company and some other VP’s and Dad starts to discuss all of what it will take to get him to work for them and I’m taking notes like crazy ’cus that’s what an assistant does. Anyway, we break for lunch and I go to the boss’s assistant so I can get somewhere to type up all my notes.

While I’m waiting for everything to get ready, I call Mom to tell her that they are going to talk money and to make sure that I’m not overheard, I speak Italian to her. It was funny how later Dad’s new boss mentions that he knows I speak Italian and all, so it turns out that I did the right thing I guess.

Anyway, Dad was super-sweet and started to brag about all the languages I speak and his boss offers me a job! Is that wild or what? Anyhow, I told him that I needed to finish school first, but thanks anyway. What a hoot!

Okay, so now to some of the thinking I did while I was down there. See, Dad went out to dinner with all the bigwigs and I stayed at the hotel. While he was off to dinner in a stuffy suit and making nice to the big guys, I was getting a massage, pedicure and a manicure. I definitely got the better of the deal.

Now I know you’re saying, “Why, Alex, you’re certainly getting into this whole girl thing aren’t you?” You’d be right in saying that, too. You see, while Dad was gone and after I had been pampered to the limit, I sat back, turned on some tunes and did some serious thinking on my whole situation. Wanna know what I came up with? Well, too bad. Nah, just kidding, I’ve really been thinking about this a lot lately and I think I really am a girl. Isn’t that just the funniest thing?

In thinking back to how I feel when I’m dressed and acting as a girl and comparing that to when I’ve dressed and tried to be a boy–well I’ve always been happier as a girl. You know, ‘acting’ isn’t the right word to use, you see, I’m not acting when I’m in girl-mode. That seems to be the real me.

As a boy, I could hardly stand being out in public or in crowds, I mean they seriously would freak me out, but as a girl, even though I still really don’t like crowds, it doesn’t bother me nearly as much. Plus, I’ve been thinking about what everyone has mentioned. They’ve said that I appear happier as a girl rather than a boy. I don’t just appear that way, really thinking about it, I discovered that I am happier that way, this way, whatever. I am happier.

This is quite the revelation for me. I can’t wait talk to Amanda about this.

Now onto something that was totally embarrassing for me but I’m sure will crack you up. Dad and I got back around lunchtime and I tear downstairs to talk to Ellen. Turns out she has company, some guy from school by the name of Monkey. Go ahead and laugh, I sure did. Anyway, Monkey wants to film me doing Parkour so we’ll be doing that tomorrow morning before I go see Dr. Martin.

That’s not the embarrassing thing. No, what happened is I go upstairs to talk to Mom and she tells me that she’ll hear about everything later but she has to run. Dad had taken off for his office. Ellen then took off to show Monkey the Parkour route I use and to take him home.

Now with the twins off doing their thing, I suddenly have the whole house to myself and will for the next few hours. I also realize that I have yet to use the pool. There’s just been too much crap going on. So, I go up to my room to put my suit on and then I start to think on what Ellen said. She said that the pink bikini would be great to wear here at home for sunbathing. Since I’m all alone, I figure, why not and put it on. I grab my towel and head out to take a dip and replenish my vitamin D.

I feel almost naked lying back in this little suit. I’m enjoying the warmth of the sun and all is right with the world. I must be a bit more tired than I expecte ’cause I doze off. Now I know what you’re thinking. Oh dear, Alex fell asleep and is now red as a lobster. God, I wish that was the problem.

No, I’m off in la-la land when I’m awakened by the sound of many voices whispering and finally someone saying, ‘Damn, Mark, your sister is smokin’ hot.’

My eyes fly open and I see that I’m surrounded by a bunch of scouts staring at me. Oh gods! Well, they scared the crap out of me, I can tell you. I squeal, “EEKK!” and they all jump back about a foot. I grab my towel and hurriedly wrap it about me and head for the kitchen.

Mom is there and says, “Who just screamed?”

I reply, “It was me, I woke up and found a bunch of pubescent boys drooling all over me!”

Mom starts to laugh and I head to my room. I am so going to get my sister. ‘Get the bikini,’ she says. ‘Who will see you in it?’ she says. ‘Our yard is private,’ she says. ‘You’ll thank me later,’ she says. Yeah, right. Crap. I know that at least half of the little perverts were working on their camping merit badges judging from all the little tents I saw. Eeww!

Told you you’d think it was funny.

So I go back up into my room and change into my one-piece ’cause damn it, I will finish with my planned swim. I get back downstairs only to find that the pool is totally taken over by all these boys.

“Mom, what are they doing here?”

“Well, the pool they normally use has had to close unexpectedly and I said they could use ours. They’re doing their water rescue testing for their Red Cross certification and their merit badges. Since moving that to another day would have messed up a lot of people’s schedules, I said they could use our pool.”

“But Mom, this is the first chance I’ve had to swim and now it’s full of yelling kids.”

“They won’t be here that long. You can deal with it, just stay at the other end of the pool.”

“Ugh, this is so unfair.” I go on out to sit in the shallow end. I don’t really want to be out here with them but by now it’s the principle of the thing. I will not be driven from here.

So I’m sitting in the shallow end watching them and their scout leader is talking to Bill and Mark. Well they come over and ask, “Alex, can you do us a favor?”

“I am not dating anyone, just forget it.”

“Oh no...”

“...that’s not it.”

“We need one...”

“...more person...”

“...to make the...”

“...training easier...”

“...so will you come help out?”

“I wish you two would stop that. Now again, and this time just Bill, what do you need?”

“Well, it’s a whole lot easier if we pair up but right now we have an odd number so could you help us? Please?”

“I don’t know.”

“Oh come on, pretty please?”

“We’ll do your dinner chores for you for the rest of the month. Pretty please?”

“I’m going to regret this, but okay.”

“Great, sis.”

“Thanks, sis.”

So I go over and immediately all these boys start to volunteer to be my partner. I quickly inform them that Bill is my partner and no trading.

It turns out to be kinda interesting. One creepy thing is when Bill and I have to practice mouth-to-mouth in the water but in the end I end up with a Red Cross card, too.

Hmmm. I thinks that’s it for now. I need to get some sleep because I’m doing that run for Monkey tomorrow and after that Mom and I are going up to see Dr. Martin for the latest test results. I’m real eager to see what the scan showed. I can tell you one thing, if they want to do another one: they’re going to have to catch me first.

End Journal Entry

Part 29

The next morning I drag myself out of bed and into the shower. Gads I’m tired. If nothing else this run ought to wake me up.

As I’m rinsing my hair, Ellen knocks on the door and sticks her head in.

“Hey there.”

“Morning, Ellen. I’ll be down in a minute.”

“Okay, but Monkey was wondering if you’d wear your hair down for the run. That okay?”

“Well, I like it back in a ponytail so it stays out of my way.”

“Would a headband work too?”

Turning off the water I reply, “I suppose so, but it’s going to be a few more minutes ’cause I’ll need to dry it.”

“Okay, I’ll wait for you in your room.”

I wrap up in a towel and start the long process of blow-drying my hair. When I’m done, I go into my room and there’s Ellen sitting on my bed.

“Hey, Alex, I figured you might need another running outfit so I picked this up. Why not use it today?”

“Okay, I guess.”

Ellen hands me shorts that are very much like my other running shorts. They’re dark blue but instead of white stripes on the sides, these have a row of stars on each side. The top is a red tank top with gold edging.

I get dressed and we go downstairs for breakfast. Mom is at the kitchen counter reading the paper and drinking her coffee.

“Morning, Mom.”

“Good morning, you two. You look nice this morning, Alex. Is that new?”

“Thanks, Mom. Yeah, Ellen got this for me.”

“It’s very nice. You two off to help your friend, Ellen?”

“Yeah, we’re going to meet him in a few. He’s getting the cameras set up right now.”

“Well it’s nice of you two to help him. Alex, don’t forget that we meet with Dr. Martin right after lunch. Make sure you’re back here by eleven-thirty.”

“I remember. I should be back in plenty of time.”

Ellen and I finish up our breakfast, say goodbye to Mom and head downstairs to warm up. With that done, we jog on over to the start of my run where we’ll meet Monkey.

With Monkey are two other guys. Monkey introduces them as Walt and Frank. They don’t really say much and Walt seems really taken with Ellen, he can’t seem to take his eyes off of her and that gets me to giggle a bit.

“What are you giggling about?” Ellen asks.

“Oh nothing. Hey, Monkey, you ready?”

“Hey, babe, we’re in the groove. How about you, you ready to get down with this?”

“Any time you are, so how do you want to do this?”

“Well, babe, I was thinkin’ that we’d do it in stages, dig?”

“I’ll dig if you ease up on the talk.”

“Groovy. Well first, tell me about your run. Your sis explained it but I want to get the picture from you, too.”

“Well first I go up here then...”

I proceed to map out each section and Monkey begins to direct where he wants the cameras. When all is set up about thirty minutes later, he yells down to me.

“Okay, babe, any time you’re ready.”

“Ellen, I forgot something for my hair. Do you have anything? Also can you hand me my bag please?”

“Here you go.”

Ellen hands me a wide golden-yellow headband and my bag. I slip the headband on and take some spray out of my bag and start to apply it to my hands.

Ellen asks, “What are you doing?”

“It’s liquid bandage and it’ll help protect my hands on the climb. Okay, I’m ready.”

I’ve been keeping warmed up so I raise my arms for our signal to start shooting. Gathering myself, I am determined that I am going to make this as spectacular as I can for him. I begin my run and start my climb up the outside of the garage.

I get a good head of steam up before reaching the garage and I go up the outside like a bullet. When I get up top, I have to stop while they re-set the cameras.

Monkey comes up and says, “Oh, babe, that was so far out! This is going to be so wild.”

So we proceed to do the run in stages. When we get to the jump across the alley, I’m a tad nervous. Normally I’m really in a groove by this point. This time I’m not because we keep stopping and starting. Also, all of the stopping and starting is getting me more tired, faster.

When all is set up and I feel that I’m ready, I hit the roof and build my speed up fast. I can tell I’m a bit off and to make sure I hit the roof edge right, I kick in a bit more speed and adjust my stride. My foot plants right at the edge and I launch myself with everything I have in me. I hold my layout position as long as possible and finally hit, tuck and come up into a forward handspring. Wow, that was a good one!

When we’re at the last scene, where I come down the outside of the other garage, I figure we’d go out with a flare. Given how the route down is, I know I won’t need to use my hands all that much, only to keep my balance. If I hit my marks right, it will almost look like an uninterrupted fall down the face of the building. Of course, if I don’t, well, I’ll probably break both legs again–if I’m lucky that is.

I get in position and the adrenalin pumping through me is incredible. I raise my arms...and drop. My feet hit their marks and I count them off. One, two, three, four and collapse at the knees on five then spring back hard, twist and land! A beautiful layout backflip with a half-twist! I land in a crouch and I’m breathing hard but I feel incredible.

I hold my landing and finally Monkey shouts, “Cut!”

I’m still breathing hard and I feel like I can fly home, man that’s a rush! Everyone is cheering: even some people who have gathered to watch the filming are clapping and cheering. Ellen is beside herself and babbling how great she thought it was and Monkey keeps saying “Right on!” over and over.

Ellen has an orange Italian Ice waiting for me and it feels so nice going down. Since it’s a bit past ten, we tell Monkey that we’ll catch him later. I need to get back home so I can get ready for my doctor’s appointment.

“Groovy. This was so far out. I’ll stop by tonight with a rough cut. I want to start putting things together right away. This is so going to get me acing my final! Thanks, Alex.”

“I enjoyed it, Monkey. Let me know if we need to re-shoot anything.”

“I will. Later, babe. Later, other babe.”

Laughing, Ellen and I start our walk home.

***

When Ellen and I get home, Ellen goes downstairs and I go to let Mom know that we’re back.

“So how’d it go? You all have fun?”

“It went great and I did have a lot of fun. I’m exhausted, though and wringing wet so I’m going to take a quick shower then grab a bite to eat, then we can go. Okay?”

“We’ve got time, honey, just don’t dawdle too much.”

Smiling, I turn and go upstairs to get cleaned up.

When I’m in my room and beginning to undress, I look at myself in the mirror. Something about how I look is tickling my brain somehow. Oh well, I usually wear my hair in a braid, maybe that’s it.

I start to pull my tank top and sports bra off and get about halfway and realize I can’t get them any further. My arms are pointing straight up and I realize that because I’m so sweaty and so tight, my clothes are really sticking to me. I struggle a bit more and now my head is covered and now I really can’t get the tops off. Unfortunately, I can’t pull them down now, either. Crap.

The only way out is to get help. Going to the door I bend down and fumble around and finally get my hand on the doorknob. Praying that my brothers aren’t around, I open it up and call out.

“Mom, Ellen! Could someone come up here and give me a hand please?”

“Alex, were you calling me?”

“Yeah, Mom, can you come in here and give me a hand?”

“What’s wrong? Oh my…”

“Mom, stop laughing. This is serious, I’m really stuck here.”

“Here, honey, hold still a sec.”

Mom leaves after helping me. She is still laughing.

After my epic battle with the bra creatures from the Planet Spandex, I need this shower even more.

In the shower, I let the water pound on me. Thank goodness for decent water pressure. Every muscle in my body is screaming at me for the abuse I put them through but I still feel great. When I go downstairs, a couple of Advil will cure the aches and pains.

With the shower done, I dress in a pair of khaki shorts and a sleeveless white button-down blouse. Slipping on my sandals, I go downstairs to get something to eat.

Once my stomach is happy and I’ve put the Advil to work, I go tell Mom that I’m ready anytime she is.

It’s close enough to the time we need to leave anyway, so she decides that we might as well go now.

Once at Dr. Martin’s office we don’t have too long to wait until we’re shown back to see her.

“Hello, Alex, you look very nice today. Hello, Sharon.”

“Hello, Dr. Martin, thank you.”

“Hello, Helen.”

“Why don’t you two sit here on the couch and we’ll go over the results. I brought in this model so you can visualize things a bit better.”

“Well, Alex, I’m sure you’re anxious for the results. The ultrasound we did turned up beautiful images. The images really are textbook perfect. Let me just bring them up and I’ll show you your insides.”

Dr. Martin presses some buttons on a remote and an image appears on the TV screen next to the couch.

“Okay then, it’s time for Dr. Martin’s anatomy class. Here are the images from your ultrasound. I want to point out everything and you can compare your pictures to this model.

“First, as you may know, the female reproductive system contains two main parts: an internal portion and an external portion. If you look here, this is your right ovary and here is your left one. These faint lines here and here are the fallopian tubes and they lead from your ovaries to the uterus, which is here. Here is your cervix and this section is your vagina. That makes up the internal part.

“Now because of your PIV, you don’t have the external part, or at least all of it and not in the proper form. If you recall, I mentioned the last time you were here that the progestin that your mother was given while she was carrying you verilized your genitals. It fused your labia and closed the entrance to your vagina and it also developed an almost complete phallus around your clitoris and urethra. The tissue of your fused labia is what looks like your scrotum.

“Also, we do not yet know to what extent the progestin damaged your internal organs. It is possible that no damage occurred, however, it is also possible that damage did occur. We just won’t know until we can get in there and take a close look at everything.

“But despite the PIV and the damage to your body, you are physically a female. Questions?”

I have been following Dr. Martin’s descriptions by comparing the images on the screen to the model in front of me.

“So I’m really not a boy?”

“Physically, no you’re not.”

Mom asks, “What’s next Helen?”

“First, Alex have you been getting stomach pains? Any sign of cramping in your lower abdominal area?”

“Well, yeah, a couple of times. Why?”

“How often and when was the last time?”

“Gee, I’m not really sure. I think the last time was when we were unpacking from the move. That was when Mom?”

“It was March 23rd. Alex has had these cramps fairly regularly too. Doctor, do you think...?”

“And it’s the thirtieth of April now. It’s possible. If so, she’s late.”

“What are you two talking about? I’m late for what?”

Doctor Martin continues, “Alex, I think that the stomach pains you’ve been having may be the result of your menstrual cycle. If I’m correct, we will need to operate as soon as possible. If I’m not correct, and you haven’t started your period yet, we’ll still need to operate soon anyway for when your cycle does start.

“Now I really don’t think I’m wrong in this. These pictures are very good and they show that you do appear have a healthy uterus in all respects.”

I’m absolutely floored. Me have a uterus? The thought make me slightly queasy.

Mom asks, “When do we need to get this done?”

“ASAP. I’m going to start to make some calls and try to get you in on Monday, Tuesday at the latest. If, and this is extremely important, if you feel any discomfort, any pain at all, we’ll need to move. I don’t want to alarm you too much, but without a way to discharge, a heavy menstrual cycle could cause you some serious damage. I can only assume that if you have experienced cycles already that they have been relatively light and your body reabsorbed the discharge.

“I’m sorry Alex. I know you’ve been trying to decide the gender issue and I wish we could postpone this but the need is just too great.”

To say I’m stunned would be a massive understatement. “Doctor, that’s okay. I guess I really need to do some hard thinking now, don’t I? I kinda think I already know, but I need to talk with Amanda a bit and I’d like to have a family powwow first. Will that mess things up?”

“Not at all. If you decide to stay as a girl, we can arrange for the cosmetic surgery to fix the outside. There isn’t a rush on that part. The immediate need is to just make sure that there is a way for your body to discharge.”

Mom and Dr. Martin continue to talk but I don’t hear them. I’m too busy trying to process everything that I have just been told.