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Part 10

Journal Entry: February 15^th

Sorry about that. I had to take a break. It was 1:30 in the morning and Mom came into my room and made me shut everything down.

So let’s see. I believe that Mrs. Anderson was taking Robbyn and me to the mall.

We have her drop us off at the end opposite the theaters so we can do some window-shopping on the way to the movie. Actually, that’s Robbyn’s idea. If it had been left up to me, I would have gone straight to the theater wrapped up in a blanket.

I don’t care what Robbyn says, this skort is damned short. Also, I never realized what the hair on my legs did until suddenly not having it. Now my hair wasn’t either thick or dark, and you’d hardly notice it, but I gotta tell ya, I sure notice now that it’s gone. Every slight breeze is felt and it’s like my sense of touch is heighted tenfold on my legs.

Well, we get out of the car and head towards the entrance and I’m feeling more and more self-conscious. It seems that everyone is turning to stare at me. They aren’t, but it does feel that way.

I stop just before we go in and I’m really nervous. Robbyn turns and asks me what’s wrong.

“Oh, gee, I don’t know. Just a bit, I don’t know, nervous I guess.”

“Nervous, what have you got to be nervous about?”

“Um, well, wearing this skirt for one thing.”

“Skort, and why should that make you nervous?”

“Skort then. It still looks like a skirt and I’ve never worn one before.”

“What!? You’ve never worn a dress or a skirt before? That’s incredible.”

“Well, not since I was about seven I haven’t.”

“Wow, I had no idea. You look great, it will be fine, you’ll see.”

“I don’t know...”

“Come on, you’ll see.”

At that, she takes my hand and leads me inside.

The first ten minutes or so are pure hell, but soon I realize that Robbyn is right, it is no big deal, at least from everyone else’s perspective. To them, we are just two girls at the mall.

So I gradually relax and by the time we get to the theater, I have pretty much put it all from my mind. I’m really having fun being here with Robbyn.

Well, the movie is one that had come out last year about Amelia Earhart and they are doing a short re-release of it. Robbyn has heard that it is really good and wants to see it. It sounds interesting to me so I agree.

Afterwards, we are both in tears. I keep denying it but Robbyn isn’t buying it.

“So, you got something in your eye?”

“Yup.”

“Both eyes?”

“Um, yes, must be dust or something.”

“So when she said, ‘Everyone has oceans to fly,’ that wasn’t you who let out a little sob?”

“How would you know? You were sobbing, too.”

“So it was you?”

“Okay, maybe.”

We both start laughing. We are back in the lobby and we’re talking about the movie and the love that Amelia and George had for each other. The next thing I know we are in the girls’ bathroom.

Oh boy, does this bring back memories. Well I can’t really go screaming out of there, so I figure that the best thing is to do our business then get out as fast as possible. So, I go and do my business then am out at the sinks washing up when Robbyn finishes and joins me.

I’m about to leave when Robbyn stops me.

“You can’t go out like that.”

Looking at myself in the mirror, I can’t see what’s wrong.

“Like what?”

“You need to touch up your makeup, silly. What if you run into someone you know?”

“Well, I don’t really know anyone so that shouldn’t be a problem.”

Robbyn isn’t to be dissuaded so I pull out the lip-gloss and re-apply it.

“Better?”

Robbyn just kind of rolls her eyes at me, finishes touching up her makeup then we leave.

We leave the theater and are heading to the food court when Robbyn says, “Who just said they didn’t know anyone? Isn’t that your boyfriend over there?”

Looking up quickly, I see Sam going into the music store. Damn.

“He’s not my boyfriend. I just went to the movies with him that one time and that was for my brothers’ sake. I sure didn’t want to go. Ever since, he’s been calling, wanting to go out again.”

“Well, can you blame him? A cute little number like you?”

My mouth falls open and Robbyn starts laughing. I raise my fist and Robbyn lets out a little squeal and laughing, rushes off to the food court.

“Robbyn Anderson you’ll pay for that.”

I catch up with her and we get in line for a couple of salads.

“Let’s hurry so we can get out of here. I don’t want Sam to see me here.”

“I’m not going to wolf down my salad just so you can avoid one of your admirers. You’ll just have to deal with him.”

“You make it sound like I beat them off with a stick.”

“With your looks, I don’t know why you don’t.”

“You’re far prettier than I am. Oh, I know, I’ll get Sam interested in you and you can see how you like getting kissed.”

“You kissed him!”

Oops. “No, he kissed me. There is a difference.”

“So how did you like it?”

“I didn’t. Besides, I was too busy being sick to pay too much attention to it at the time. He did it the night you and I first met.”

“So?”

“So what?”

“Ugh, so tell me about the kiss, silly.”

“There’s nothing to tell. The movie had just ended and he leaned over and kissed me before I even realized it.”

“That’s it?”

“That’s it.”

“Nothing else? Just leaned over and ‘smack’ planted a kiss and that’s all?”

“Pretty much, but the good news is I still haven’t had any signs of morning sickness.”

“Wha...? Oh you! You’re teasing me.”

I can’t help but laugh. Robbyn throws a crouton at me.

Just then someone comes up to our table. “Um, hi, Alex...”

Looking up, there is Sam. Poor Sam, when Robbyn and I both look up at the same time, the first thing we both do is start to laugh. Sam has a real confused look on his face. Unfortunately he doesn’t leave. He just stands there looking confused and like he wants to say something.

Still giggling I say, “Hi, Sam. You remember my friend, Robbyn?”

“Oh, yeah. Um, Alex, I was wondering if you’d like to go out sometime.”

“Sam, I already told you that I’m too young to date, my folks won’t let me. Listen, you’re a nice guy and all but I don’t want to date anyone, even if I was allowed. We can still be friends, though.”

“Oh, yeah well, um yeah, I’d like that. Well, you take care. Bye.”

At that, he takes off.

“Wow, you came down hard on him.”

“What? What do you mean?”

“That whole, ‘I don’t want to date you and let’s be friends,’ thing. I’d have a hard time being that blunt.”

“Humm, yeah, normally I would, too. I mean I have been, but he just wouldn’t take the hint.”

“Just hope he doesn’t take that, ‘let’s be friends,’ thing as hope that he can change your mind.”

“You don’t think he will, do you?”

“Boys are weird. Who knows how they’ll react to anything you tell them?”

What can I say to that?

We finish up our salads and are just wandering around looking in the windows. Robbyn turns to me and says, “You seem quiet. Something wrong?”

“Yeah. I was just thinking that in about two weeks, I’ll be moving out to California with my Mom and I’ll probably never see you again.”

I can feel my eyes start to tear up.

“I’ve never had a friend like you, Robbyn, and now that I’ve found you I’m going to lose you.”

We are off to the side and Robbyn comes over and hugs me.

“Oh, Alex, you’re the best friend I’ve ever had. I’m going to miss you so much!”

Pretty soon, we’re both crying. After a bit, we both calm down and wipe our eyes. We make our way outside to meet Robbyn’s mom.

“Robbyn, can we get together tomorrow? I really need to talk to you about something.”

“Sure, what do you want to talk about?”

“Well I’d rather wait until we can talk in private.”

“Okay, but why not tonight?”

Just then, Mrs. Anderson pulls up.

“We’ll see.” We get in the car.

Back at Robbyn’s house, after grabbing a couple of drinks, we head up to Robbyn’s room.

When we get to her room, Robbyn plops down on her bed and asks, “So what did you want to talk about?”

I figure that now is probably going to be the best time I could ever have to do this so I go ahead and take the plunge.

“Robbyn, I have something to tell you. First I just gotta tell you that you really are the best friend that anyone could have. We’ve only known each other for a short time, but it seems like we’ve known each other forever.”

“I feel the same way too, Alex.”

I start to change out of the clothes she lent me.

“Why are you changing? You can wear that home and just bring it back the next time you come over.”

“I’m changing because after you hear what I have to say, you may not want to see me again.”

“What? Why would you say that?”

At this point, I’m down to just my running shorts. “Robbyn, I’m not a girl.”

“What? Well then you’re the best stacked boy I’ve ever seen.”

“No, I’m serious. I’m not a girl.”

“I don’t understand. Of course you’re a girl.”

“Robbyn, really I’m not.”

I realize that there is only one way that I can convince her.

“Please don’t get upset.” I pull down my shorts. “I’m a boy.” I pull my shorts back up and hurriedly get dressed.

Crying I say, “Honestly, Robbyn, I never meant to deceive you. Things just got out of hand and then we became friends and I didn’t want that to end. It’s true. I’ve never ever had a friend like you and I just didn’t want to ruin that. I’m so sorry! I’ll leave now.” I grab my pack and head to the door with tears streaming down my face.

“Wait! Alex, please wait.” Robbyn grabs my arm.

Robbyn turns me to her and puts her arms around me. She’s crying and she’s telling me, “Don’t go, Alex, please don’t go. You’re my best friend and I don’t want to lose you.”

Well I just can’t believe what I’m hearing and that gets me to cry even harder. Soon, both of us are sitting on the floor, holding each other and crying our hearts out.

After a bit, we calm down and are able to stop the crying. I ask Robbyn, “Are you sure you’re not mad at me?”

“Oh Alex, I’m not mad. Confused and surprised, but not mad. What happened to you? How did you start to grow...?”

“Boobs? I don’t know. I just don’t know why this is happening to me.”

“Well what do your folks say? Haven’t you seen someone about this?”

“They don’t know, and you have to promise me that this will remain our secret. You can’t tell anyone, okay?”

“You know I’ll keep your secret but why don’t your parents know? Haven’t they noticed?”

“No, no they haven’t.” I proceed to explain everything to Robbyn.

“Wow. That is so wild. You really need to tell your folks though, you know?”

“Yeah, I know. But I’m so scared to. I don’t know how they’ll react. Anyhow, it’s not the easiest subject to talk about. ‘Mom, Dad, guess what? Your son is turning into your daughter.’ Yeah, that’ll go over real well.”

“Don’t you think you should give your folks the benefit of the doubt? I mean, they love you and all; they’ll be able to help you with this. You told me and I’m still here.”

“I’ll tell them, really. As for you, well, I just had to tell you.”

“Oh Alex, I love you so much. Boy or girl, I don’t care, you’re the best friend anyone could have.”

This sets off another bit of crying for both of us.

“Um, Alex? Could you do something for me? You don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

“What? I’d do anything for you.”

“Well, ah, could I see what you look like again? I mean, you don’t have to it’s just...”

“Oh, ah, well...”

“Tell you what, why don’t we both take our clothes off? That would be fair, right?”

“Both? Um, yeah I guess so.”

Blushing furiously, I remove my top and slide down my shorts as Robbyn removes her clothes. Standing awkwardly in front of Robbyn, I let her look. Soon I’m forgetting my embarrassment as I look upon my first nude girl. All I can say is, ‘Wow, does she have a nice body.’

My reverie is broken when Robbyn says, “It’s kinda small, isn’t it?”

In a rush, my embarrassment comes back. “Um, yes. It looks like all of my growing hasn’t affected that.”

“Well what do you think?”

“About what?”

“Me, silly.”

“Oh, you! Well you are the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen.”

“Oh, seen a lot of naked girls have you?”

“N-no! What I meant was...”

At that, Robbyn starts to laugh, “Let’s get dressed, silly,” and that was that. We get dressed and go on downstairs, then I head on home.

Robbyn and I have plans to get together again tomorrow night.

Oh, one other thing. The Band-Aids did work covering my nipples, but man oh man, they hurt pulling them off. That’s some tender skin there!

End Journal Entry

Photo Credit: Ray Philson