Catwalk Confidence by Connie Alexander Copyright  © 2010 Connie Alexander You spend your entire life thinking you’re just like any other boy, when you suddenly find out you aren’t, trying to adjust can be difficult.

Part 4

Journal Entry: February 1^st

In my last entry, I mentioned that I thought that I might be sick. Well that was true on several levels. First, I really do feel crappy. All of my joints ache, I’m just not with it and I’m constantly tired. This may explain what happened on my ‘date.’ *Shudder.*

Okay, here’s what happened last night. Sam’s mom picked us up and drove us to the mall Cineplex. Sam was acting okay, not being real weird or anything but he always seemed to be walking right next to me.

We go into the theater and I am able to get the twins between me and Sam–at least at first. Somehow, between when we sit down and when the movie starts, he trades places with Mark. Okay, this can still be fine. It’s not like he’s a stalker or anything.

Well the movie starts and I’m feeling real tired and I must have fallen asleep. I wake up when the action begins with some explosions on screen and I discover that I’m leaning into Sam and he has his arm around me!! AHHHHHHHHH!

I am really trying not to freak out here. I slowly straighten up in my seat and he loosens his arm from around my shoulders. I kind of pull a bit more away and he pulls his arm back and I’m thinking that I have just saved myself from a real close call. Well, I am wrong. He reaches over and takes my hand.

Man oh man: the twins are so going to owe me for this.

I really try to act cool. I have absolutely no idea what is going on with the movie as I am now completely focused on keeping Sam from earning his octopus merit badge. As soon as I get his arm from around me, he holds my hand. As soon as I get him to let go of my hand, he puts it on my leg and starts to rub my knee. I get him to let go of my leg and his arm is back around my shoulders again and we start all over. Frustrating doesn’t even come close to describing how I’m feeling.

Now I really have no idea on how to act or what to say and my head feels like it’s stuffed full of cotton, so my thoughts and reaction time are almost zero at this point.

Well the movie is almost over and I’m beginning to think that I just might make it home safely when Sam leans over and kisses me! YUCK!

Well, he kisses me, I drop my soft drink, and the twins are cheering something on the screen. At least they’d better be cheering something on the screen. Sam tells me that he thinks I’m real cute and maybe we can go out again and I’m desperately trying to find some gasoline to rinse my mouth out with.

Wait, this all gets better.

Well the movie ends and we all head back out to the lobby. I’m suddenly feeling like I have to throw up and not real sure if it’s from being sick or from the kiss. Anyway, I need to get to the restroom and fast. Sam sees my distress and takes my arm and starts to lead me thru the crowd and practically pushes me thru the bathroom door. I just make it into a stall when Mt. Vesuvius erupts.

Afterwards, I feel better but still kind of out of it. I flush and go to the sink to wash up and rinse my mouth when this girl asks if I’m okay.

I tell her that I think so and am rinsing my mouth again when I realize just where I am. Sam has taken me to the girls’ restroom. There are about a half dozen girls here going to the bathroom, washing up, talking and reapplying their makeup. I’m trying to be invisible and turn to make my way to the door, when the girl who originally asked me how I was, stops me.

She says I really need to reapply my makeup. I tell her that I don’t have it with me and try to get away again. She stops me again and says, “No prob,” in a very perky manner and whips out some lipstick and starts to put it on me!

Do girls really do this with other girls they don’t know?

Well before I know it, she has the lipstick on me, brushes something along my cheeks and spritzes me with her perfume. She is very pleased with herself and all I can do is thank her and make a dazed but quick exit.

I re-emerge into the theater lobby and there are three stunned looking boys staring at me. Sam asks if I’m okay, then without waiting for an answer tells me that I’m even prettier with makeup on. Bill and Mark are just staring at me with their mouths open and if I can, I’d strangle them both, Sam too for that matter.

Well I tell them that I’m not really feeling that well and we should go and find Sam’s mom. We go outside to wait for our ride and who do you think should appear? My good Samaritan from the loo, and the fastest makeup applier in the South.

She comes up to us and introduces herself. Her name is Robbyn, “that’s two ‘Bs’ and a ‘Y’.” It falls to me to introduce everyone, so I present Sam and my two brothers. Just then, Sam’s mom arrives and we head to the car. Robbyn whispers to me just as I’m about to turn to go that she thinks Sam is cute and that we make a cute couple. Oh yuck! That really makes my night. I thank her anyway and run to the car.

I explain during the ride home that I’m really not feeling that well and I thank Sam for the movie. When we get to our house I practically run inside and up to my room. I grab my sleepwear and head into the bathroom. Before starting the shower, I look into the mirror and am shocked. It’s amazing what just a little blush and some lipstick can do. I really do look like a girl now. At that, I turn to the toilet and throw up again.

After making sure that there is nothing left in my stomach, I turn on the shower and literally crawl into it. After scrubbing my face and washing up as best I can, I just lie down and cry until the hot water runs out and I start shivering.

I turn off the water, dry off, dress and brush my teeth–five times. Then I crawl into bed and pass out.

This morning I feel better, absolutely no energy, but better.

Mom comes into my room this morning and sees the ace bandage that I’ve been using to bind my chest lying on the ground. I about have a heart attack when she asks me about it. I end up telling her I had twisted my knee and had used it to give it some support.

As I still look like death warmed over, Mom lets me sleep in. Just a bit before lunch, my bratty brothers come into my room and wake me up.

They thank me again for what I did for them last night and then ask about the makeup and the bathroom. I explain everything to them, and then I tell them that there is no way I am going to put myself thru that again.

After I shoo them out, I get up and dress. I really don’t want to have another couple of days like the last few that I have had.

End Journal Entry

Photo Credit: Ray Philson