A Grumpy Old Man’s Tale 59 Chineseium

“Well, Son, doubtless if you looked the words up in a fancy English ordbok it would tell you that they are the same, but there’s a difference in the way Bearthwaite folk use the words these days. Yance ower they were the same here too, but now a visitor is someone we welcome, even if they’ve never been here before, decent folk are visitors. Tourists are folk we don’t really like, folk we don’t approve of, but as long as they don’t get too far out of line we’ll happily tek their money off ’em. Okay, Son?”

“Yeah. I get that. Visitors good, tourists bad. Simple enough, Granddad. I’ll explain to my brothers. Thanks.”

As Ethan left Alan couldn’t help but smile at the Orwellian simplicity of life as seen by a child. Visitors good, tourists bad. ‘What,’ he wondered, ‘would I give to be eight again?’

Chapter 2

When it comes to convenience, Mechelen really sits in the right place. Just over twenty kilometres from the campus in Antwerp, and a similar distance to the centre of Brussels and the EU headquarters. That was where some of Elaine’s family worked. Her uncle Jules was part of the security detail in the main building, while Juliette, his wife, was a secretary in the office of one of the Belgian Commissioners. There were three children, all who had left home and lived in Brussels.

Part two for you - for future readers its best if you read this work in order...

As we drove along, mom explained a few things about the last few days. The hospital admitted to everything being their fault in what had happened, especially when dad had our family attorney speak with theirs. It was simple case of mistaken identity. Seems a 26 year old woman named Jamie Stone was in for the procedures I got, and scheduled for the 11am slot. Then I, Jamie Stone the boy was scheduled for my procedure at 4pm.

Wrote this probably ten years ago and its been sitting in my files ever since so I thought I'd toss it on and see how it goes. First part of a nine part story

Miss-taken Identity

“Irish Dancing? Isn't that the rubbish where they keep their arms straight by their sides?" Nick peered myopically at the bulletin board. The poster actually showed a line of girls high kicking in unison, ponytails flying and, yes, arms held rigidly at their sides.

I shook my head, more to myself than anything. It really was a mystery to me how he'd made it to college with so little going on between his ears.

Blowing florets
I want to dance in the air
Blowing florets
And just not care about anyone or anything
But you and me
So don't let go of me
Don't let go of me

In 2026, the United States embarked on a daring and audacious endeavor: testing a new weapon intended to replace atomic weapons. This singularity bomb, a marvel of cutting-edge technology, was engineered to unleash the destructive power of traditional nuclear weapons without any of the radioactive fallout. However, the test didn't unfold as planned.

I woke up Saturday morning with two legs, much to my relief. I showered and returned to my room. As I looked through my closet I noticed the one pair of jeans I had purchased just a handful of days ago. Reaching for the jeans made me feel funny on Thursday. Today, I picked them up off the rack without my compulsions complaining about it. I put them on and still there was no problem. I had to admit I liked the way they hugged my body. When I finished dressing I went downstairs for breakfast. Mom and Daddy were already up.

The girls just wanted to see their treasured friend again – and help her take a baby step. That’s all it was supposed to be!

This was an alternate opening to the story that I submitted for the New Year’s Resolution contest. My muse has finally revealed that this was to be a story all its own.

Disclaimers
* No characters were harmed in the making of this story.
* This story is not related to that of Lilli from my earlier story, Budding Lilli.

When Genesis left the time portal, she couldn't believe what she saw.

It was her old elementary school, Hammerhead Elementary School, exactly as she remembered it from when she was a (boy) kid. There was a marque out front with announcements about the start of the school year and a mural painted on a wall. There was even the old statue of a hammerhead shark in front of the cafeteria. The sight of it shocked Genesis. She used to walk by it every day-until it was taken down halfway through her Fifth Grade year. Yet here it was in all its former glory.

The Poise that Josey Found
By Jessica C

I was relieved when Larry and the head cheerleader drifted apart. I should have been concerned when Bob asked Larry for a date. The truth was that I was just too curious to see what would happen I just aided and abetted instead. Larry was even lovelier that night. They left and about a minute to midnight I heard Bob’s car drive up again. Of course I had prepared an unobtrusive view of the porch. Yes, there was a good-night kiss. Not a bad one. Really not a bad one.

The Manchester Early Summer Carnival 
A “How I Spent My Summer Vacation: I became a Girl” Gaiden
by
Rebecca Coleman

-1-
A Proposal

“I’m all right,” he said. “Though, you know, you don’t hit like a girl.”

I spent the next morning with my parents. We didn't do anything in particular, just had breakfast together and mooched about the house. The introduction of Tabitha was an obvious elephant in the room, but it didn't feel like there was any dreaded anticipation attached to her homecoming. More just a biding of time until it was to happen.

It reached 11.45am, and I said I'd better be heading off. No need to say where or why.

"Ok, darling", my mum said. "We'll see you when you get back home."

My dad, head buried in the morning newspaper, raised his hand to bid me adieu.

A Grumpy Old Man’s Tale 58 The Heller of All Hellers

Daphne said, “Most women I know, including me, have an awful lot of clothes. Not Stephen, but that skirt suit is genuine Harris tweed and cost a small fortune. All his clothes are the same, he doesn’t have wardrobes and wardrobes of them but what he does have is all the ultimate in quality. He should have been a woman because his dress sense is far better than mine. However, he’s a hundred percent man. He just likes dressing up in what other people call women’s clothes, but he doesn’t see it that way. He says, ‘I’m a man. They’re my clothes, so by definition they’re a man’s clothes.’ I suppose he does have a point.”

By spring semester Bob’s paper was written and had got an A++. However, many boys still wore the lilac skirt to school. That had taken on a life of its own. Bob could easily have quashed it but saw no point in doing it (and it was his mother's shop that sold them). Besides a couple of his teammates had decided that they liked wearing the skirt. And it WAS the school colors, if they wore it with a black shirt.