In response to a suggestion from An Author, I cobbled together this silly little pastiche of naughtiness. Sometimes, Santa is just too busy, and he needs to subcontract to the, er, niche markets.

CHAPTER 71
This was starting to get silly. I had dug myself into a hole, it seemed, where almost everyone around me was pair-bonding, breeding, marrying or just worrying about religious affiliations.

CHAPTER 69
I cycled round to Alice’s place with Jim the next day, partly to see Alice, but mostly to have a word with my uncle, to see where he was headed in his mind.

A short one tonight. I have to work, but this is at least an offering.

CHAPTER 65
Monday morning was another delivery day, so it was all hands to the pumps, apart from Andy. Despite his sudden advances into being human, he still had a blind spot about the quantity of work the new stock entailed.

CHAPTER 63
It was still a huge thing to me, though. Tony could rationalise all he wanted, but after everything was done, would he really be able to handle having two children, or more, so far away and effectively out of reach for their early years?

The icy wind and blowing snow cut through me as I trudged along the sidewalk on my way to my job as a salesclerk at 'Kringle's Department Store'. The job didn't pay a lot , but it kept a roof over my head and food in my tummy. I was also fortunate in that Kringle's was a friendly place to work for the LGBT community. The owner's daughter was among our sisterhood, having completed her transition 6 years before.Her name was Claire and she worked in the Accounting department.

CHAPTER 60
I got the chance to catch up with Anne later, as she had taken the morning off for some church event or other.

CHAPTER 58
Breakfast was not wonderful, but then we didn’t really expect something amazing in France. Nonetheless, there was a rose on our table for me.

CHAPTER 56
Cheeky Alice had even managed to squeeze Margaret onto the reception guest list without me noticing, so she was sitting smiling fondly with the old tart as more speeches came and went.

CHAPTER 54
There was a week to go, and Siá¢n, Elaine and our parents were over for the final preparations. The two girls looked edgy, for some reason I couldn’t fathom, but Mam and Dad slotted straight in, especially with Pie duties. Dad walked him so much I swear the dog’s legs got shorter.

CHAPTER 52
That was a relief. Neither of the two men was exactly backward in using his fists, and the last thing I wanted was a set to. It would be my day, my guests, my music, my hangover. I might let Tony have a look-in, though.

CHAPTER 50
The beer flowed, and folk relaxed. About eight thirty, we were joined by Aunty Gwen’s two, Karen and Elspeth. Ellie was straight to the point.

CHAPTER 48
Invitations, guest lists, it’s so much easier for a young girl to get married, she isn’t running a bloody household and someone else does the planning. My parents, for a start, needed reminding. I rang them

CHAPTER 46
I took Alice to the first meeting, at her local bank branch, where we produced the deed poll and letter from her quack, and it all went rather smoothly. That was why I was so surprised when, as we exited, I realised she was trembling.

CHAPTER 44
Anne was back after lunch, and as Pat had suggested we let it slide for a while.

CHAPTER 42
Alice drove us home, and I had to remember to be careful going in the front door, as a black and white furball mugged me, whimpering and yelping with excitement.

Today I felt lost; almost bereft, seeking something that was not in my own heart or in my relationship with what surrounds me. In many, perhaps most ways I feel so blessed. I have a nice place to live. I am not beaten by my husband; forced to stay at home, unable to leave without permission. There will be no stoning for me if someone tells a lie about me. I can vote, and I can drive.

“I am lonely!” I cry out to that which I can not see but that I know is there.

CHAPTER 39
Alice had sat quietly through the discussion up to then. She drew in a long breath.

“That settles it, then. If she is off on that little journey, there is nothing we can do that will change her mind. In which case, I will start thinking about a day to come out.

CHAPTER 37
I finally got the last of the crowd off to their respective homes at about two thirty. Jim had been allowed to stay up to see and hear the Big Ben Bongs, and he was already asleep as Tony carried him upstairs. No story that night.

CHAPTER 35
We went round to the High Street again, not far from the shop, and found some seats in one of those plastic establishments that children love so much.

CHAPTER 34
I keep saying it, but, oh shit.

“Hello Andy, happy Christmas to you too”

CHAPTER 32
Christmas was on us far too soon. Arris and Steve were doing the full extended family thing in Reading, so we had plenty of room for once. This was going to be a big one.

CHAPTER 30
Tony was in at eleven, and we were still swapping stories about gathering clothing, near misses, school days and all the other items and incidents that scarred us or brought a smile.